Through the Hourglass
by Raeghann
Summary: I stepped through the hourglass and felt it's sand shower over me like a waterfall. I came out on the other side, in a place I never knew I wanted to be, in a time I didn't know I needed to be in, to a love I didn't know I longed for.
1. Author's Note

Okay the lost in time bit has been worked, revamped and totally over used. I know, I know, but as part of a re-enactment group, ( a group of people that like to pretend they are from another time, in our case either Elizabethan or pre-Culloden/1740's Scotland. We all share that common feeling that we just don't belong in the present.) it really intrigued me. My friends and I often talk about living in another time, how much more fun it would be. The point is living out of time would incredibly interesting, fun and maybe people would stop looking at me funny when I don't have the same 20th Century ideals as they do. Trust me our sword fighting gets the cops called on us every time we practice somewhere new. So here's my hand at it, I hope it's interesting and maybe a little different from what has already been done.  
  
I don't own anything that was Disney's first. Everything else is mine. 


	2. Prologue

Prologue  
  
Time ebbs and flows all around us, moving with us making us feel it as it passes. Lives are lived, with happiness, tears, and if we are lucky triumph, but have you ever felt out of place? As if the life you are leading were not the one you were meant to live. As if there were some great cosmic mix up and you were really supposed to be born in a different time and a different place? There are a few of us out there, a few which live life because we have to live it, but really find ourselves at home trying to relive an age that has passed. They call us old souls, for most of have eyes that see more than others, that know early on more than others. Maybe we are people who have lived many lives and the one we long for is the one we loved most of all. Maybe we left someone we loved behind there, someone we have yet to find again. Some of us relive time through acting, writing, or reading, but what if you could really do it? What if someone took time in their hand's and blessed those few with a chance to live when they were meant to live, in a time they were meant to know, that in their hearts they really know. Having been raised in another time could they really learn to adapt to the unfamiliar mannerisms and slang of another time? Could they manage to become part of society without everyone thinking they were mad? What if they fell in love? What if they found that person that we are all looking for that one person who seems to know our very soul? How would they live, how would they love, how would they interact with others? That was my question, one that was answered for me. I have left this story for others to read, for them to know that I did it I went to another time. Some of it is humorous as learning to live in the turn of the century was not as easy as they make it appear in stories and movies. I knew a woman's place, but learning to actually adapt to it was another matter. I knew some of what the wardrobe was like, but I had never really worn it for any long length of time. I knew that the slang was different, the food was different, and people's general out look was different. I went to another place, and I loved more than sometimes I think is possible. I lived more that I ever could have in my own time. I stepped through the hourglass and felt it's sand shower over me like a waterfall. I came out on the other side, in a place I never knew I wanted to be, in a time I didn't know I needed to be in, to a love I didn't know I longed for. I will never forget.  
  
Okay what does everyone think? Is it a little different? Should I keep going? Should I stop now? Let me know 


	3. Stepping through the Sands

Where do I begin? I wanted to tell the story before it started to truly fade from my mind, while the memories were still fresh. So I guess the best place to start is that rainy afternoon in June, the day had started out beautiful. The sun had been shining, the air had that lazy warm smell to it that you can only find in the summer, and I had been late. I had driven into the faire grounds Friday night, just so I wouldn't be running around like a chicken with my head cut off Saturday morning when I had to be at the nine 'o' clock cast meeting. The cannon always went off precisely at ten signaling that the day had started and I was supposed to be up on the front gate waving and smiling at the people who came through. My alarm had gone off, but I had a habit of hitting the snooze button until my good friend Beth beat on my tent until I was coherent. It was our morning tradition, since her daughter Jenny was usually an early riser, she didn't have much choice other than to be up practically at the crack of dawn. However her daughter had wondered into the Renaissance Festival grounds a little early without telling her and she had forgotten all about me in her panic. It was my unfortunate luck that no one else in the campsite had seen fit to wake me. I was a heavy sleeper so everyone else getting up and getting ready never woke me; hence Beth's beating the side of my tent. The little dew droplets that collected at the top of my tent hit my face; it usually brought me up sputtering and cursing.  
  
So I woke slowly and stretched, I rolled over to find my alarm clock near my head and realized it was nearly ten 'o clock. Now there is nothing worse than waking up late, especially when you have a costume to put on. Except perhaps having fallen asleep the night before still wearing your blue jeans. I hated that, I have always said there is nothing worse than waking up in the jeans you had worn the day before, add it to the fact I was late and it the day didn't have much hope of being a good one. Not to mention when it had been my bright idea to put curlers in my hair. I ran about pulling on my stockings and bloomers, my chemise half on and trying to pull the curlers from my hair of course all at the same time. I thanked my lucky stars everyone else was at the morning cast meeting, and those that weren't were vendors trying to get their wares out before they were over run with the day's crowds.  
  
"Damn it." I muttered to myself as I showed my pass to the guard at the gate and made my way inside, he gave me a funny look, but I was used to it. I talked to myself all the time, people usually thought upon meeting me that I was eccentric and I was.  
  
"That is the last time I let Morai talk me into a drinking contest." I continued muttering as I stomped up the hill past him.  
  
I knew that it was a threat I wouldn't remember later that night, when the grounds closed down and the parties were all starting. That was half of the fun of faire, lots of parting, made up for the director and the other things that made this job not as fun as it looked.  
  
My first stop was the bakery, my stomach was protesting loudly and I had made friends with one of the girls who worked it. She usually slipped me something in the mornings. The Renaissance Festival was expensive to work at. We were paid a measly salary that worked out to practically a dollar an hour. We should have at least gotten fringe benefits, but since we didn't, the cast usually tried to make friends with the food vendors. It made things much easier on your pocketbook. You could spend nearly your whole paycheck from working at this place on food alone.  
  
"Briar, you finally decided to grace us with your presence."  
  
Speak of the devil I thought and turned finding Morai leaning over the railing of the ramp leading up to the bakery. I could see one of the guys from the beer stand just up the stairs looking down at her in interest. I rolled my eyes he must be a newbie. Only newbies and patrons ogled at the way her breasts were pushed practically up to her chin. Yup ladies an Elizabethan corset is the ultimate original wonderbra and not as uncomfortable as one might think. I think most men who worked around the Renaissance festival found legs and a bare stomach more interesting. It wasn't that they didn't like breasts it was just they were used to seeing them prominently displayed and everything else covered. My skirts reached my ankles, the sleeves of my chemise reached my wrists, but the neckline of my chemise plunged and my corset accentuated all that was meant to be.  
  
"Morai, " I said groggily not even having taken the time to pull my hair away from my face " You get me some wakey-wakey juice and I'll forget you said that. Oh and save it for the customers."  
  
I looked pointedly at her knowing and turned to look just as pointedly at the young man. I turned back to see her up at him and give him a broad wink; she knew what she was doing. He was blushing, another trait of a newbie. You eventually learned this immunity to blushing after a while. We all loved to tease each other and our humor was always filled with innuendo.  
  
Morai laughed and sauntered off in search of the coffee she knew I needed before I could even begin to be pleasant. A few minutes she was back coffee in hand mixed just the way I liked it, enough cream and sugar to make it into ice cream.  
  
"So did I miss anything at the cast meeting?" I asked once my hunger had abated and my thirst for caffeine quenched.  
  
"No the usual stupid pep talk." She sighed and I smiled at her, " Though, Anna was searching for you."  
  
I groaned Anna was the cast director, I had hoped she would have forgotten me. She never seemed to notice my presence unless I miss a cast meeting. I had only missed one other and it was not an experience I had wanted to repeat. In short I was in for a butt chewing.  
  
"I told her you were helping keep Beth calm until we found Jenny." Morai said giving me a mischievous grin.  
  
"What would I do with out you?" I cried throwing my arms around her. "Wait, what do you mean after we found Jenny?"  
  
"Oh, my beloved daughter decided to follow Daddy inside and they both forgot to tell me." An ironic voice that I knew to be Beth's say. I didn't even turn around; I knew she would sit on the bench next to me anyway. "Sorry about not waking you."  
  
I shrugged there was nothing that could be changed about it so why let it get me all riled up? I had a full day ahead of me dealing with patrons, who asked stupid questions. Why let this bother me, I'm sure it could be much worse.  
  
Oh, it could and it was. The rain beat down on the ground in front of me and I watched people scurry from cover to cover trying not to get wet as they ran for the front gate and their cars. I couldn't believe it, not ten minutes ago it had been clear as a bell, not a cloud in the sky now it was pouring like God had sent Noah's flood for a second time. I sat in front of the soft drink booth watching the rain dribble down the wooden awning. I looked at my hair in frustration; I had put myself through the torture of sleep on curlers the night before now it was a tangled mess. I was sure I looked like a drowned rat.  
  
"Hey Briar." A voice called I glanced over my shoulder looking for who had called my name. A knot of people moved and I saw Beth coming toward me her mud-splattered daughter in tow. It looked like Jenny had managed to jump a few puddles before her mother had stopped her.  
  
"Look's like your mother is going to spend the night soaking your chemise munchkin." I said to Jenny, she just giggled and stomped in the puddle directly in front of me splashing muddy water all over my skirt. I thanked God as at that moment a loud bang echoed through the faire grounds signaling the end of the day. I looked down at Jenny who gave me her signature 'I am cute' grin and just smiled. You just couldn't stay mad at the brat she was too cute.  
  
"She's got a clean one for tomorrow." Beth breathed in relief "If this one is ruined I'll buy another Good Will dust ruffle and make her a new one."  
  
We both looked up, just as suddenly as it had started the rain had stopped. We shrugged at each other and headed back to camp. As we neared it we saw Morai huddled in a blanket, her face almost covered by the edge of it. She looked like the Emperor in Star Wars I had to laugh. The last of our little band I had yet to see was Erik and he was hunched over making a fire. It was a good thing that the gas station down the road had dry wood because the wood around the campsite was all soaked. The cold was starting to set in and the metal stays of my corset were beginning to feel like icicles. Sighing I began unlacing it, only to have Morai stop me.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Morai called, "Unless you want to put on your clean one, Anna told us we have to meet at the Rose stage for a cast shin dig. Required to be in costume of course."  
  
I groaned, so did Beth and Jenny mimicked us not really knowing what we were talking about. We all looked at her and she gave us her signature grin, we all smiled back. I looked down at my half unlaced corset and contemplated changing into my clean costume, but quickly decided against it. I felt dirty and grimy, a fine layer of dust had settled over me earlier when I had been sticky and sweaty. Then the rain had come turning the unpaved walkways into mud, it hadn't made me feel much cleaner. I would be happier when I could take a shower and crawl into my sleeping bag.  
  
"Who ever said that wearing a corset in the summer was unbearably hot was an idiot." I whined grabbing my cloak and trying to scoot as close to the fire as possible.  
  
"I believe those were your words, at about two 'o clock this afternoon." Beth said dryly.  
  
"Well it was ninety-five degrees then." I grumbled wrapping my cloak tighter and looking I was sure thoroughly disgruntled. "It feels like it's about sixty now and my stays are freezing. They don't usually freeze unless the air conditioner is on full force in the car."  
  
"Welcome to Colorado..." Morai began.  
  
"If you don't like the weather, wait a while and it will change." We all finished in unison. It was a phrase that we had been told for as long as any of us could remember.  
  
" You know I always hated that phrase." I said grumpily " Almost as much as I hate the righty tighty, lefty loosy thing. It's stupid."  
  
"Mama says if you look like that your face will freeze that way." Jenny told me her impish little face looking up at me earnestly.  
  
"Well mine won't, I am immune." I replied grabbing her and wrapping her up in my cloak with me. She giggled and squirmed for a moment before finally settling down. Beth mouthed a thank you in my direction and I nodded knowing she had been waiting for the right moment to escape to the bathroom Jenny free.  
  
"Did you see that weird old lady dressed as a gypsy?" Morai queried. I looked at her curiously searching my mind for someone that might have matched her description that day. There were a lot of weird people around the Renaissance Festival. They were kind of like carnies; only they spoke with bad English accents. Eventually you got past their appearances and realized that most of them had good hearts. The ones that you didn't, well those were the people you avoided. It may seem odd, but I was surprised that Morai had noticed someone in costume. When you are surrounded by hundreds of people dressed in normal clothes, you would think you would notice the handful of other's in costume. You did at first, but after a while they were like walls, they were just there. That was why I found it odd that she would specifically notice a woman in costume, well a woman in what was probably, judging by the gypsy description wearing the usual fair costuming. Now the Klingons I could understand. We still hadn't figured out why anyone would want to wear a Star Trek costume to the Renaissance Festival. I had to admit though they had a come back that fooled the every day person. However I hadn't been able to resist asking them what they were doing there. When they gave me the classic time traveling bit I told them that the every day Elizabethan citizen would have probably staked them, or at the very least attacked with a screaming mob. It had been funny watching them scramble to explain some machine they had to stop that from happening. Then there had been Xenia, come on people the Greeks lived only a few hundreds of years before the Renaissance. I know a few hundred is an understatement, but bear with me. When I saw the chest stubble from hair that "she" had forgotten to shave I steered clear. Oddly enough he had looked better than any of the other Xenia's so far. At least I hadn't seen the occasional William Wallace want to be. There was almost always a man who wondered around the grounds dressed in a tablecloth wrapped around him and his face painted blue. William Wallace never wore a kilt I found myself wanting to scream every time I saw one. He was a lowlander not a highlander, and the kilt hadn't been invented in William Wallace's time anyhow.  
  
There had been a really good-looking guy in a kilt though. I hadn't been able to resist making him blush by placing the mirror attached to the toe of my shoe between his legs. They were too small to actually see anything, but the patrons never knew that. What could I say? I was a kilt inspector? It was in the job description, after much teasing I attached a blue ribbon to the end of his kilt. He thought it was a nice gesture. I wondered if at the end of the day if everyone had teased him. I knew he hadn't heard the 'Scotsman' otherwise he would have realized the significance of the ribbon. I was pretty sure someone had explained it though. I grinned evilly, oh what fun we had. I think I already mentioned we had a pretty bawdy sense of humor though.  
  
"You mean the one with the scar?" Erik asked breaking me out of me reverie. I shook my head and tuned in, I didn't remember an old gypsy lady with a scar.  
  
" She scared Jenny half to death." Beth added, I turned to find her walking up arm and arm with her husband Richard. That was odd as well, Jenny was not a shy child and she usually took it for granted that everyone loved her. For her to be frightened of an old woman made a shiver run down my spine.  
  
"Well, let's go." Richard ordered taking Jenny from me. We all protested good-naturedly, but made our way back inside the faire grounds anyway. Morai and I walked together stopping occasionally to point out a constellation in the mass of stars that were overhead. We never noticed the old woman dressed in different shades of red and gold who stepped into our path until we almost ran her over. She looked at me queerly and then smiled a near toothless grin. I eyed her not knowing whether to put her in the avoid category or not. Seeing the scar that curled from her right eye across her cheek and to her chin I figured that this must be Morai's mysterious gypsy lady.  
  
"You be one of them." She said cryptically, her voice soft and lilting.  
  
"Be one of who?" I asked cautiously, definitely in the avoid category I told myself.  
  
"Be one of those who's lost in time." She responded looking at me as if I knew what she was talking about. Her eyes had an ageless quality about them that made me answer her instead of running the other way.  
  
"Lady I have no idea what you are talking about." I told her uneasily as Morai grabbed my arm, but before she could drag me off the old lady grabbed my hand and turned it so it was palm up.  
  
"It be as I thought." She whispered staring intently at something I couldn't see, but I leaned forward and peered at my own hand anyway.  
  
"Just a palm lady." I said jerking it back. "Everyone has one these days."  
  
"You are different, have always been different, and always will be different." The lady called as Morai pulled me up the hill taking a different direction to the Rose stage. I allowed her to pull me along, trying to ignore her words.  
  
"You feel out of place as though you were meant for another place and another time." The lady continued.  
  
"Look around." I called back. "We all do."  
  
"But you were truly meant to be." I heard her say as we rounded a corner and were out of sight.  
  
"What did she mean?" Morai whispered her eyes wide.  
  
"Do you think I have a clue?" I retorted wanting to just put it out of my mind.  
  
"If you could live in any time what would it be?" she asked looking at me curiously.  
  
"Not the twentith century." I replied automatically. It wasn't that unusual of a question, we had talked a little bit about it one night when we had had a little too much to drink. Everyone that worked at the Renaissance Festival wished they lived in another time. "The Renaissance maybe, Revolutionary War America, the Turn of the Century, maybe even during prohibition."  
  
"The turn of the century?" Moria looked at me a little funny.  
  
"Yeah, there were a lot of inventions. It was America's Industrial Revolution, it would be cool to live through America's glory days."  
  
Morai just shrugged as if to say 'to each his own'. I let it drop, hoping she would forget about it.  
  
The cast get-together was boring, but we suffered through it anyway. It was late in the nights before we all started to make our way to our beds, or one of the numerous parties that were going on. I had had a few beers, just enough to warm me up, but not enough to make me drunk. Morai had disappeared with one of the guys and Beth had taken Jenny to bed hours ago, so I found myself walking back to my tent alone.  
  
As I reached my tent I saw someone in the bushes next to it. I didn't think anything of it figuring it was just another drunk that I would gently shove in the direction of their camp area. I just hoped it wasn't another drunk couple, I was sick of kicking them out of my bushes. Before I could call out the gypsy lady sprang from the bushes nearly frightening me to death.  
  
"Lady." I told her my hand on my chest as I gasped for air." you've got to stop sneaking up on me."  
  
"Here." She said holding out something in her hand. Slowly I took it and found it was a beautiful amulet. " I have been looking for someone to give it to. It will protect you. Forgive me for frightening you."  
  
I looked at the amulet closer and realized it looked very old; an inscription ran between the filigree edging and the oval cut stone. The chain was delicate, made of smaller chains twisted together.  
  
"I can't take this." I responded reluctantly handing the beautiful necklace back. She took my hand and closed it gently over the stone.  
  
"Please, it was meant to be yours." Her voice was urgent, her eyes searching mine in a pleading way. Slowly I nodded and she gave me a quick nod before turning away.  
  
" Be careful, my child, your path will not be easy." She called back.  
  
"Why do the weirdoes always talk in riddles?" I muttered to myself as I unzipped the door to my tent. So I didn't loose the necklace I clasped it around my neck and ducked inside. I lay down in my chemise too tired to change into my normal sleeping clothes. As I closed my eyes my ears began to ring, I found I couldn't open my eyes, though there was a warm light that shone on my face like the sun. The ringing got louder and I felt like I had drunk too much, my was head spinning like a top. The light got brighter and I felt something falling on me, it was like grains of sand gently showering me from above. I didn't think the light could get any brighter, but it did and as it did I felt like I was on fire. I opened my mouth in a noiseless scream, the pain was intense and then just like that it was gone. I found I was too exhausted even roll over despite the fact there was something painfully poking me in the back. I let my body go limp and my consciousness go.  
  
Voices clamored in my head each wanting an answer I hadn't heard the question to.  
  
"Who's she?" I heard come through the fogginess of her brain.  
  
"Don't know," another answered, "Do you think she's hurt?"  
  
"She's laying in an alley way in her nightgown stupid, what do you think?" The first voice countered.  
  
"I don't know she don't look hurt to me." A new voice added it's opinion.  
  
"Alright, what's goin on here?" another voice asked I could hear people moving as if they were parting. The voice was commanding and I had no doubt it was the leader of whoever these voices were. I struggled to open my eyes, but they were too heavy. "Whatta we got here? Or who I guess"  
  
"Don't know."  
  
" Well who ever she is her lips is turning blue, I say we gets her inside before she dies of cold out here." The leader said, I felt strong, warm arms gently pick me up and carry me. I stopped fighting to wake and let myself slide back into oblivion. 


	4. Awake

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS!!!!!  
  
"So whatta we got here Jacky-boy?" a voice asked. It sounded like it was right next to my ears. I groaned and rolled over feeling nauseous and trying to ignore huge throbbing pain that called itself my head. I wondered what was in the beer last night because I had never had a hang over this bad and I was frequent friend of Jose and Jack. My family was Italian-Irish; I was born to be able to handle my liquor.  
  
"Morai I don't care what you do with Jacky-boy, just leave me out of it." I grumbled not even registering it hadn't been a female voice.  
  
"Who's Morai?" The voice was amused and it was still too loud. I pulled the pillow from beneath me and put it over my head.  
  
"Don't know, don't even know her name." Another voice answered, I recognized it from the night before. They sounded like they were standing directly over me instead of right outside my tent. I felt a hand on my shoulder trying to get me to roll over. What were they doing in my tent? I distinctly remembered falling asleep alone. Peaking one eye out from the pillow I saw a face I didn't recognize. Beautiful blue-gray eyes, dark blonde colored hair, and a mouth that screamed kiss me. I would have remembered this guy. It took a moment it to sink in that I was not on my air mattress, but a real mattress. It was hard as a rock. Squeaking I jumped trying to sit up, my head collided with the bunk that was above me, sending me right back down, cursing and clutching my head.  
  
"Oh God, make it stop and I will never drink again, I swear." I groaned my head in my hands. My eyes were watering in pain and I brushed at them wiping the sleep out of my eyes as I did.  
  
"Never knew a girl who drank before, 'scept those that was workin girls." I heard the first voice say. I opened my eyes to glare at the owner, he was eyeing me with an interest I didn't like. So what if he was incredibly good looking I wasn't a piece of meat.  
  
"Hey," I snapped trying to stand up. It took me a few tries, but I finally managed it and turned my wrath back on the two boys who stared at me eyes wide. "I don't know who the hell you are or where the hell you get off, but I am not a working girl....."  
  
I trailed off intending to say something snappy about how the last guy who had said something along those lines had ended up with his balls in his throat, but a wave of nausea hit making my hand fly to my mouth instead.  
  
"What?" the owner of the second voice asked. Jack was what Blue eyes had called him. He was looking at me worriedly with an equally beautiful set of hazel eyes. Great two really good-looking guys and I'm about to spew all over the place I thought. I knew I had to have suddenly turned a very unbecoming shade of green.  
  
"Do you have a bathroom I think I'm going puke." I managed fighting to keep the contents of my stomach from going all over the floor as I spoke. He looked at me as if I had grown a tail and horns.  
  
"Puke?" Blue eyes asked in confusion.  
  
"Throw up, upchuck, vomit." I tried giving them a look of my own. Where had they been living a cave? Luckily a light went on in their eyes when I said vomit and they quickly ushered me into a room. It was filled with other guys all in various stages of dress, all getting ready for their day it looked like. Nearly twenty- five pairs of eyes looked at me in surprise for a moment it was as if time had suddenly stopped. Just as suddenly it started again, some of the boys still just stared at me; others eyed me curiously for a moment before going back to their shaving. Some of the guys dived for the cover of wooden stalls that had been set up against the wall. I had a glimpse of more than I really wanted to see at that point, before they disappeared behind the door. One of them looked around the door of his stall and glared at Jack. From what I could see of him had my stomach had not been churning so badly, I would have been very interested in that body before he dove.  
  
"Oh, that was an over share." I cried before slapping my hand across my mouth again. Patches gave me an odd look before looking at Jack again who just shrugged. Jack and Blue eyes each had a hold of an arm and they hustled me into one of the stalls just before I was violently sick. I don't remember having ever been that sick before and I've had some pretty nasty bouts of the flu.  
  
"Jack ya coulda warned us." Patches said in a muffled voice and I could hear him banging around as if his arms were too long for him to be changing in the stall, which looking at the confined area I was in I was sure it was.  
  
"I wasn't thinkin about it." Jack yelled back " I was to worried about the mess she woulda made in the bunkroom. Next time I'll let the girl go and you can clean it up Blink."  
  
"When we ever gonna get another girl in here?" a curly headed urchin asked and I could hear the laughter in his voice. "We's lucky findin this one outsida Medda's."  
  
I ignored the rest of the conversation and leaned weakly against the wall staring at the toilet for a minute thinking about how it had to have seen cleaner days. I should have been disgusted, but at that moment it didn't matter. I smiled at Jack who handed me a cup of water to rinse my mouth.  
  
I had just leaned back again closing my eyes not caring about the toilet, just happy that my nausea was fading, I realized that there was something off about the boys. I looked up at them to find they were looking down at me curiously. Studying them for a moment it hit me. They were not wearing "normal" clothes; they were dressed as if they were from the turn of the century. My mind drew a blank and I swallowed fearfully. Time travel was impossible wasn't it? Well at least they looked kind, my mind raced back to last night and what had happened. Then I remembered the gypsy lady and my conversation with Morai. Morai must have set this up I burst out laughing. I had been scared for a moment, but I got it now.  
  
"Okay Morai." I said through my laughter. She must have set up this practical joke to get me back for the fake spider I had dropped from a tree in to her corset. I had to admit this was much better than the spider. This had taken imagination, cleverness, and resourcefulness. I had to know how she did it, and she had to be hiding just around the corner waiting for my reaction so she could gloat. How had she gotten so many guys in one room for this though? And where was I? Jack and Blue Eyes looked down and me and I knew that they hadn't come from the Renaissance Festival I would have noticed them before. It wasn't that there weren't better looking guys at Faire, but both of these guys had an aura about them that demanded attention. "Funny, come out now. Where the hell did you take me and how did you get so many guys to get in on the joke?"  
  
They kept looking at me as if I was an alien; I slowly stopped laughing and crawled out of the stall to look at the other boys who started at me too. Okay now I 'm use to people looking at me like I'm an idiot, but that many guys, it was too much I crawled back in. Blue eyes cleared his throat and I looked at him with what I was sure with eyes as large as saucers.  
  
"Ya wanna let us in on the joke?" He asked kneeling down, he kept his distance though as if he were afraid I might suddenly attack him.  
  
"What day is it?" I asked swallowing hard. There was this tightness in my chest it was making it hard for me to breathe. Fear was a tricky thing, I hoped I wasn't going to have a panic attack.  
  
"Sunday." He told me slowly as if he were talking to a small child.  
  
"No," I cried grabbing his arm my voice urgent. "What is the year?"  
  
"1899." He said his eyes searching mine, still looking at me as if I had grown another head.  
  
"Where am I?" I cried not liking the feeling that was welling up inside of me. "Wait, don't answer that, tell me what city and state is this?"  
  
"New York." Spot replied. I looked at them for a moment my head was spinning, I had never passed out before, but I had come close when I had gotten my first tattoo. We found out then that my reaction to pain was to hold my breath and I remembered the feeling well.  
  
"I think she's gonna faint." I heard the curly headed boy say as I struggled with my blacking vision. I took a few deep breaths and lay my head on the cold porcelain of the toilet ignoring the little voice in my head that told me just how dirty it was. I didn't care, I was not going to pass out. I felt someone rubbing my back and slowly I fought the feeling back down. Blue Eyes still had his hand on my back a look of worry on his face. I was surprised; he had looked so gruff before, now he had a look on his face that seemed almost soft. Almost, those piercing blue eyes still held a dangerous look about them. Once my head had cleared I stood and then I did the only thing I knew to do. I pushed past them and ran straight back into the room I had come from. The one Jack had called the bunkroom, which was aptly named since it was full of bunks. I threw myself onto the nearest bed and I pulled the blanket over my head. I closed my eyes and waited.  
  
"Whatta ya doin?" I opened my eyes to find Jack there, one hand on the upper bunk leaning down so he was face to face with me.  
  
"Going back to sleep." I told him firmly shutting my eyes. "I'll wake up in a moment and it will have all been a dream."  
  
"Sweetheart, this ain't no dream." Jack replied, there was a bit of laughter in his voice. I was glad he was finding this amusing; I sure wasn't. Of course if I told him exactly what I was doing there he wouldn't have been laughing. He probably would have sat on me and told his pals to call the insane asylum.  
  
"Shut up, you're keeping me from going to sleep." I growled. I felt strong hands close over my arms and pull me into an upright position. I cringed expecting to hit my head on the bunk above me, but I didn't my head just barely passed under it.  
  
"Did ya escape from the crazy house?" he asked looking worriedly at me. He searched my face and I fought the urge to laugh. I had a feeling that would confirm his suspicions. "Ya not gonna kill us are ya?"  
  
"Do you think I could?" I asked looking down at the hands that still held me knowing that he was a whole lot stronger. I struggled to mentally comprehend what had happened, to come to terms with the fact that this was not a dream that this was really happening.  
  
"If we was sleepin ya could." Jack replied, not letting me go, but kneeling down in front of me.  
  
"No, I did not escape from the crazy house." I replied truthfully unless you considered the Renaissance Festival a crazy house, I hadn't, but some did. I didn't say more, what could I say? Hello, I'm Briar and I actually live a little over a hundred years in the future?  
  
"How about a name?" Blue eyes asked, I hadn't even seen him come up.  
  
"Briar Fitzgerald." I told them looking from one to the other waiting, not knowing what else to do.  
  
"Ya wanna tell us why we found ya in the alley next to Irving Hall?" Jack asked.  
  
" I don't know." I replied. " I have no idea where I came from. Or what Irving Hall even is."  
  
"She must have that thing Davy was talking about the other day." Blue eyes said to Jack "Amnea."  
  
"Amnesia?" I asked trying not to smile. They both looked at me and I gave them a grin, trying for Jenny's approach to life. Smile and it will all be okay.  
  
"She's smart at least." Jack said completely ignoring me. I glared, I hated being talked about as if I wasn't in the room. Enough of that B.S. I'll take this like I take everything.  
  
"Hey, assholes, I'm right here." I snapped their heads whipped around looking at me in surprise.  
  
Okay, I thought, Maybe that wasn't the best of ideas. You were trying for the not crazy approach, remember?  
  
"Women don't talk like that." Blue eyes spoke with a scolding tone and I wanted to sock him. He looked like my grandmother would have if she had caught me cussing. It only fed my anger, he made me feel as if I should be ashamed.  
  
"Where I come from, girls say a lot worse than that." I retorted. The both looked at me, then looked at my low cut chemise and smiled. "Don't even think it. What I meant is where I come from girls are allowed much more than your egotistical little brains could ever comprehend."  
  
I knew they didn't understand half of what I had said and it took the joy out of insulting them. I wanted to scream, I couldn't even insult them in a way that I they would grasp. Well I could, but looking at them again I was kind of glad they hadn't understood.  
  
"Spot, Jack what's with the girl?" I heard voice break in. He was definitely of Italian origin, I thought eyeing him. He eyed me back as if he were afraid I might bite.  
  
"It's okay I've had my rabies shots." I told him. That earned me more looks and I bit my lip to keep from saying anything else. Had he had said Spot? I thought. That's Blue-eye's name? Spot? See Spot run. It was too much I started laughing, but stopped when I saw they were staring at me again. I was striking out at every turn, I would be lucky if they didn't have me carted off.  
  
"It's okay Race, she may be a little crazy, but I'm pretty sure she ain't gonna hurt no one." Spot told him. Race? The Italian kid's name was Race, what had their parents been on when they named them? Not that I really should be talking, even for my time Briar was not a common name, but in an era of Johns, Pauls, and Jims these kids names were really odd.  
  
"What makes you say that?" I asked, and then rushed on realizing how that sounded, "I'm not going to hurt anyone, I was just wondering what made you so sure."  
  
"I ain't sure, but I'm bettin on it." Spot told me, "Ya just don't have that look in ya eyes an I don't get that feelin."  
  
"Some people don't give you that feeling until they murder you in your sleep." I replied, looking at each of their faces I knew that they were pretty sure I was harmless despite my arguments. I just couldn't resist playing devils advocate. It was a trait that often annoyed my friend, but I couldn't help it there was nothing I enjoyed more than good debate.  
  
"True, but we grew up on the streets, we're probably more used lookin out for those people than you." Race said and I had to admit he had a point. I knew I would never be able to fool them into thinking I had grown up on the streets, suburbia just hadn't prepared me for it. I found I liked the wry tone he had, he just chewed on the end of his stoogie as he looked me up and down. I knew I was being sized up and measured. I also knew this kid wouldn't be far off from what kind of person I was. Despite his baby face he had that old look in his eyes of a kid that has had to grow up too quickly. "From hearin ya talk I know ya ain't grown up on the street."  
  
"Thought you didn't remember where ya came from." Jack broke in, returning to the previous subject. He crossed his arms and leaning against the bunk across from mine.  
  
"Damn." I muttered "I meant I don't know how to get back to where I come from."  
  
That was the truth, I didn't know how I had gotten there let alone how I was going to get back.  
  
"So whatta we supposed to do with you?" Spot asked looking at me as if I should know the answer to his question.  
  
"Hell if I know." The words came out before I could stop them. I mentally kicked myself again. Woman don't talk like that, I usually didn't talk like that, but cut me some slack. I had woken up in 1899, why couldn't have been the Renaissance I mentally whined. Probably because instead of looking at you oddly, they would have burned you at the stake I reminded myself. They were really good at burning people if they got spooked and the average Elizabethan spooked easy.  
  
Of course unless I didn't remember my history very well, I didn't want them to take me to the loony bin either. They were horrible places where the mentally ill were not cared for and experiments were done on them. I shivered, well I was going to have to draw on all my acting skills, play on their sympathy, and hope for the best. With that plan of action I spoke  
  
"Look I don't know how I ended up in the street, I don't know why I am here, but I am." I said softly looking up with those soft sad eyes that got usually got me a free lunch from an unsuspecting guy.  
  
"Ya gotta do better than that kid." Jack told me smiling. I flounced back, what had happened, the eyes never failed. "Ya gotta family?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"Ya gotta a home?" again I shook my head. Not anymore, I thought about my apartment with its cozy little breakfast nook and the furniture I had saved and bought piece by piece. I wanted to be home, in my own bed, in my own home, in my own time and I had no way to get there.  
  
"Ya got anyone lookin for ya?"  
  
I felt tears gathering in my eyes. Oh yeah there were people looking for me, but they were never going to find me.  
  
"So whatta we do with ya?" He looked appalled as if I cried he wouldn't know what to do. So looked away and tried to blink them back.  
  
I shrugged biting my lip; I really, really wanted to repeat my earlier statement. How the hell was I supposed to know? I didn't know what I was going to do with me.  
  
"I guess ya can come with me today." Jack sighed. " Until I know more ya ain't leavin my sight ya got that?"  
  
I nodded and stood, they all looked down at my chest. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at them.  
  
"And ya might wanna wear this." Jack said taking off his over shirt. Looking down I remembered for the first time that my chemise was not exactly solid. I smiled gratefully, my cheeks flaming. I thought I had lost the ability to blush long ago..  
  
"We ain't got nothing, but men's clothes so ya gonna have to make due for today." Jack told me as he rummaged through some clothes piled on the floor next to a bunk a little ways down. He handed me a pair of pants. "Those are me good pair so ya be careful with 'em."  
  
"Thank you," I said hugging the clothes to my chest. It was a good thing I had been tired to take off my stockings and bloomers. Looking at my feet I realized I hadn't even taken off my shoes last night. Well at least I had been covered from the waist down. "Is there someplace I can change?"  
  
Jack pointed to a door I hadn't noticed before; I smiled and walked to it. Opening it I found it was a small room, empty except for dust. I wondered what it had been used for. Quickly I stripped off my chemise, my bloomers and my stockings glad to be rid to of them. I didn't feel any cleaner than I had when I had fallen asleep. I had been planning on taking a shower that morning, but I doubted the accommodations offered such luxuries. I could hear them talking as I changed, Spot was arguing with Jack about taking me out selling with them. I wondered what it meant, for that matter where was I going with Jack today. Jack's pants were way too big, but they were better than nothing. They bunched at my ankles like elephants extra skin, at least I had a pair of suspenders to hold them up. I stepped out of the room to find that the boys from the washroom were leaving grabbing hats and other accessories as they left. Spot it seemed had left I couldn't see him anywhere. I felt a moment of disappointment and quickly pushed the feeling way. He was a cute guy they're a dime a dozen. I admonished myself as I ran my fingers through my hair; what I wouldn't give for a brush.  
  
"Here." I looked to my left to see a boy with handlebars for ears looking at me holding out a comb. He had such a kind look I felt bad for my thoughts.  
  
"Thank you." I gave him one of my best smiles. Another free lunch winner, there was a crutch next to him and I knew by looking at his leg that he had to use it to walk. I struggled not to pity him, by looking at him I knew he wouldn't appreciate it. "Your name is?"  
  
"Crutchy." He told me smiling back. He had beautiful brown eyes, not like Jack or Spot's eyes, but beautiful in the way they shined from within. I knew right away he was someone I could trust.  
  
"Yours?" he asked cocking his head like a curious bird.  
  
"Briar." I replied holding out my hand, he shook it, his face glowing.  
  
"Ain't never heard that name before." He said thoughtfully as I sat down on the bunk across from him and began running the comb through the hopeless rats nest my hair had become.  
  
"Never heard the name Crutchy before either." I replied in kind. He just laughed and nodded. He looked so happy just to have someone talk with him. From the way the boys all called to him before they left I knew that he wasn't lacking for companions. They all seemed to treat him as if he were just like them. He was just one of those rare people who liked everyone.  
  
"Ain't my real name, but we all got's our newsie names."  
  
"Why and what's a newsie?" I was fascinated; while I was here I figured I may as well at least learn something. It would be something to take back with me once I figured out how I had gotten there.  
  
"Most of us is runnin from something." Crutchy confided as he awkwardly pulled himself up. I longed to help, but I knew he was too proud to let me. "We give the new boys nicknames so they don't have to use their old ones anymore. It's kinda like.well, it helps 'em fit in."  
  
"You mean like an initiation?" I questioned.  
  
"If that means what I said then yeah." He said looking a little confused. I just nodded unsure of how to explain it to him.  
  
"A newsie's a guy who sells papes." Crutchy enlightened me. I nodded as I tried to process that, what the hell were papes?  
  
"So ya ready? Jack broke in coming up looking me up and down. I had folded my pants in so that they weren't sagging round my ankles, though since I was nearly six sizes smaller than Jack they hung on me like a flour sack.  
  
"Boots has a couple of pairs of trousers." Crutchy told Jack as he looked at me too. I didn't know who Boots was I just hoped he was smaller than Jack. Jack disappeared to the other end of the room I could only see his head above the sea of bunks. He came back a moment later with a pair of pants that were blessedly smaller. Grinning I handed the comb back to Crutchy and hurried away to change. The pants were still a little too big, but it was better than nothing. I opened the door and Jack gave me a quick once over before he started for the door. I walked after him and Crutchy fell into step beside me he held an extra hat in his hand.  
  
"Here." He said again handing it to me smiling in an impish way. He reminded me of Jenny, he was so innocently that's the word I had been searching for. It was the perfect way to describe him. "That way they won't know ya a girl."  
  
"Why wouldn't I want them to know I was a girl?" I asked.  
  
"They don't like it much when women try to be men." Crutchy told me. I was having a hard time remembering that although 1899 was not lacking in technology as much as say 1598, it was socially way behind. I was going to have to learn to remember it. What if I never got home? I shoved that thought down and continued to walk with Crutchy. 


	5. A New Name

"So where ya from Briar?" Crutchy asked I kept my pace slow. I was willing to bet he was usually able to walk quicker, but it was a damp morning and had been a damp night. From what little I saw of his leg it looked like he had been in some sort of accident and the weather could wreck havoc on things like this.  
  
"Colorado Springs, Colorado." I told him without even thinking of my answer. I kicked myself. I was going to have some bruises if I kept that up. How was I going to explain how I had traveled from Colorado to New York?  
  
"Really where's that?"  
  
"Out west," I sighed not knowing what else to say. My brain rushed ahead of myself trying to remember what little I knew about the city I had made my home only a few years ago. Now ask me about Denver and I might be able to tell you a little more. At least I knew that it had been established in 1871 and there had been a gold rush in 1891 in Cripple Creek. "There was a gold rush about eight years ago in what is now a little mining town called Cripple Creek."  
  
"Really?" Crutchy asked with interest. "Is that anywhere near Santa Fe?"  
  
" A long way away, Santa Fe is further West." I replied.  
  
"We call Jack Cowboy, he's always wanted to go to Santa Fe. I bet he'd be real interested to talk to ya about the west." Crutchy smiled at me then asked the question I was dreading. "So howdya get here?"  
  
"I don't know." I replied truthfully, best way to lie I remembered was to stick as close to the truth as you could. Half truths were even better.  
  
"Ya got any family in Colorado Springs?"  
  
"Not that's alive." I said softly feeling the tears come back into my eyes. That wasn't a lie they weren't even born yet. My grandfather wouldn't be born for another thirteen years and he would be a teenager trying to escape from being forced into Mussolini's Black Shirts when he moved to America from Italy.  
  
"Sorry." Crutchy said gently his soft eyes looking at me with an understanding. "Lost my parents in a fire when I was five. Mama was trying to get me out when the beam fell on her and pinned my leg. The firefighters they got me out, but it was too late for her. Real brave of them too, they coulda died."  
  
He said it with such gratefulness I knew he meant it. He was saddened by his parents death, but grateful he had been given the chance to live even if he had to use a crutch for the rest of his life. If only we could look at our lives as he did instead of pitying ourselves we had had it hard. We smiled at each other for a moment a bond of friendship struck between us that I found I was very thankful for. "Will ya quick lollygagin and get up here?" I heard Jack's irritated voice and saw he was talking to me.  
  
"Ya better hurry up, I'll talk to ya later." Crutchy told me. I flashed him another grin and ran to where I saw Jack disappear around the corner of a gated wall. I entered the gated area cautiously there were most of the guys from this morning, all with papers in their hands. Jack was already at the front of a line slapping some coins down as I made my way across the courtyard trying to ignore the curious stares. The most curious of them came from a little boy who had been looking up at Jack with hero worship. Now here was something I could handle, I loved kids and was used to working with them. The best piece of advice I had ever heard was to treat them like they were adults. Just because they were kids didn't mean you had to treat them like it. They responded better when you treated them with the same respect as you would one of your own peers. Now that didn't mean you let them get away with whatever they wanted you still had to lay down the law from time to time. I just tried to remember what had bothered me as a child and tried not to do it.  
  
"Hello." I said cheerfully getting down at about eyelevel with him and holding out my hand. "My name is Briar what's yours."  
  
"Les." He told me holding out his hand and shaking mine a smile in his eyes already.  
  
"It's a pretty day." I said conversationally. " Do you think it's going to get hot?"  
  
"Probably." Les responded with seriousness. "Ain't you gonna ask how old I am?"  
  
"I wasn't planning on it." I told him "But if you want me to ask how old?"  
  
"I just turned ten."  
  
"Really?" I didn't say any more than that, but stood and looked at Jack and his companion. They were both smiling; his companion had a hand on Les's shoulder in a way that told me he was Les's brother.  
  
"Briar," I said holding out my hand him.  
  
"David, but everyone around here calls me Davy." He replied, I tried not to let my surprise show. It was nice to hear someone use proper English. You don't know how much you are accustomed to it until you are trying to bite your tongue at every sentence the people around you are saying, to keep from correcting their grammar.  
  
"Davey it is then." I rubbed my hand together and looked around. "so what are we doing?"  
  
"Selling papes." Les told me as if I should already know that. Papes? I looked at the stack of newspapers Davy and Jack were splitting between them. The light went on, papes, papers, must be some sort of slang from 1899.  
  
"Sounds like fun." I said holding out my hands. Here was something else I could handle. My mother had owned a store for years and lucky for me I had spent the beginning of the summer selling pretzels at the Renaissance Festival. I had learned the fine art of hawking, but wasn't really interested in it and switched back to cast the first chance I got. I know by now you probably think my whole life revolved around the Renaissance Festival, but in reality many of the talents I learned there I was able to apply to beginning to live in the past. When you have a pretty good grasp on how life was lived two hundred years before and how life was lived two hundred years in the future, you learn that things don't change that much. They change drastically socially, speech changes, outlooks change, but some talents are timeless. As a writer I knew that the headline was never going to sell, so the headline had to be changed to catch someone's attention. A book was never going to sell if it didn't have a catchy title. Acting had taught me how to sell, and how to lie. What is acting other than selling yourself to be someone you're not?  
  
"Some women sell papes, but they rarely have the talent us men do." Jack told me giving me a funny look. I rolled my eyes, I bet there were plenty of women who were good at selling, men just didn't want to accept it. "They was the only people we let sell papes."  
  
"Why were they the only ones?" I asked my curiosity perked.  
  
"Because we wasn't going to beat on women." Jack responded as if I knew what he meant by that. I let it go making a mental note to ask Crutchy later on what he had meant. Davy just shrugged and followed Jack, I looked at Les who mimicked his brother and together we followed the other two.  
  
I spent most of my day not too far from Jack. David and Les would disappear from time to time, but I was never out of Jack's eyesight. It looked like he was going to keep his word and keep an eye on me. As we broke for lunch I found I had sold more papes than even Les, whose pathetic street urchin look always drew them in.  
  
"Ya got talent." He said in appreciation as we made our way to some place called Tibby's. He was still cautious, but since he found I could sell papers, he seemed to be warming up to me. I could practically see the dollar signs in his eyes like in the old cartoons. Les hadn't taken much winning over and David liked me from the minute I had started talking to his brother. It was a little trick I had learned a long time ago. Make friends with a guy's little brother or sister and you had them in the palm of your hand. Not that I ever made friends with the little sibling without really intending to be a friend, kids were smart they knew when you were being fake. I found Tibby's was a restaurant, much like the diners of the 1950's were going to evolve from. It was crowded with boys all of them from earlier that morning, they seemed like one big group of brothers. I felt a little left out, and tried to shrug off the feeling.  
  
"Briar." I heard a voice calling my name. Looking ahead and to the left I saw Crutchy sitting at a booth with Patches, what had Jack called him? Blink? And the curly headed boy I had never gotten to hear his name. Crutchy was waving me over and I smiled heading immediately in his direction.  
  
"Briar, this is Blink and Mush." He said in his endearingly happy tone. " Guys this is Briar."  
  
They both nodded at me and Crutchy scooted over so I could sit with them. I smiled shyly and worked to turn on the charm. As long as I could stay in these guys' good graces I had it made. I didn't have any where else to go and I had no way to go home as of now, so the best thing I could do was make these boys like me. As a bunch of misfits themselves one harmless but crazy girl wouldn't faze them for very long. Besides I had spent most of my life with more guy friends than girls. I knew I could charm them and still keep the relationship platonic.  
  
"So how did ya day with Jack go?" Crutchy asked breaking me out of my thoughts.  
  
"I sold more papers than Les." I said trying not to toot my own horn, but I couldn't help the feeling of pride. They all looked properly impressed. I looked at Mush and Blink, not too bad, I thought as I discreetly gave them a once over. Blink's hair was gold colored his eyes, while not the same incredible shade of Spots were still a pretty blue and Mush had a really sweet and sunny disposition that reminded me a little of Crutchy. I got something to eat, with the little bit of money Jack had given me for the papers I had sold, it wasn't the best I had had in my life, but it was filling and it made my stomach stop complaining. I found I was enjoying their company. Sometimes I had to stop them and ask them to explain what they meant and by the end of lunch I had a handful of new words that I understood.  
  
"Ya ready?" I heard Jack ask and I looked up at him. He was looking back expectantly.  
  
"Why should you get her?" Mush asked in mock irritation " Ya already got Les and Davy, if she's tellin the truth then I say you should let her come with one of us that don' t do as well."  
  
"Perks of bein leader Mush." Jack told him punching his shoulder playfully. "We's gotta go, there's a prime spot in Central Park I wanna hit today with me new sellin partner."  
  
"Selling partner?" I asked looking at him in confusion.  
  
"Ya gots talent kid I already told ya that." Jack replied smiling down at me. " And unless yous got a better opportunity then let's go."  
  
I looked at Mush who gave me adorable puppy eyes and laughed. He was cute definitely cute.  
  
"I tried the same look on Jack this morning." I chuckled punching him as well. " What makes you think it will have any better effect on me than mine did on Jack?"  
  
Mush shrugged and smiled, Blink laughing as well.  
  
"Crutchy, I'll talk to you later." I said as I followed Jack, Davey and Les out the door. By the time we made it back to the place we had started from, the Lodging House the boys had called it I was beat. It had been a long and trying day. Tiredly I made my way into the washroom and splashed some water on my face. There was some crashing and squeaking coming from the other room and I found Crutchy was directing as Mush and Blink pulled a mattress off one of the bunks. I watched in curiosity as they carried it into the small empty room I had used to change in earlier. They kicked up enough dust as they tossed the mattress on the floor to make those of us standing anywhere near to sneeze.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked rubbing my nose across the back of my hand sniffing as I felt another sneeze coming.  
  
"Well we figure ya're staying for as long as ya wanna. Ya're too old for the orphanage and we ain't gonna send ya to the poor house. " Crutchy said excitedly, "Jack don't know where else to put ya. I thought we could move a mattress in here and it could be ya little room. That way ya'd get some privacy from us boys."  
  
"Thanks Crutchy." I said softly touched that he had thought of a way to make me more comfortable. The mattress was old and the blankets worn, but at that moment it looked like heaven. It wasn't bed time however, instead I spent the rest of the night with Crutchy, we played cards, but mostly we talked. Mush and Blink joined us for a little while, we played poker without a betting a feat they had never accomplished.  
  
"That's an unusual necklace." Mush said with interest. My hands flew to my neck and I realized I still wore the Gypsies necklace. I remembered that it had burned when I had laid down, that everything had been normal until that moment. Of course my life had been normal until the lady had appeared in it. At least as normal as my life comes.  
  
"You be one of them." I heard her say in my mind.  
  
"Be one of who?" I had asked with an arrogance that made me flinch.  
  
"Be one of those who is lost in time." She had replied. Had she done this to me? Had the necklace sent me here? If so, why had she sent me here, what was the reason behind it?  
  
Mental note Little Red, I thought, don't take anything from strangers, especially if they happen to be odd gypsy women with scars.  
  
"Briar are you okay?" Blink asked his look worried. I realized I had clutched the necklace in my hands and was pulling on it as if I was going to rip it off. I forced myself to relax and took my hand away from it.  
  
"Fine, just fine, now how many cards did you want?" I heard myself ask, I surprised at just how cool my voice sounded. They eyed each other and I knew I had reminded them of my sudden appearance and odd performance earlier, in short everything I was trying to make them forget. They returned to the card game and eventually let it go. They wandered off a little while later for a real game with Racetrack, who I learned was a big gambling man. They were just upset that I, the girl had kicked their butts too many times to count. I was pretty lucky with poker as long and it didn't require any articles of clothing to be removed.  
  
Even after the others turned the lights off and lay down to sleep I found myself struggling to stay awake so I could talk with Crutchy some more. Sometimes you find a kindred spirit, a person who seems to know you after only minutes. It is as if they have a small piece of your soul you never knew you were missing. I'm not talking about a soul mate that is on a different level a different set of emotions. I would find my soul mate and it would be an entirely different feeling than the one I shared with Crutchy, but I am getting ahead of myself in my story. If I don't tell it as it happened it will become confusing. I had found a brother of my soul. Someone who understood me and liked me for all I was and all I wasn't. He didn't care if Jack had caught me in the corner only a half an hour ago clicking my heels and saying "There's no place like home." Hey it worked for Dorothy, besides who knew how this necklace worked. He didn't care that some of the younger boys avoided me because they thought I was crazy. He didn't even care that Jack, his best buddy, one of his idols was wary of me. He instinctively trusted me, I didn't know why I was just grateful for it. I wished I could tell him everything; I looked out the window directly in front of me the moonlight washing over my face from the window to my left. Crutchy sat on my right, thinking looking off into space. He glanced at me and grinned we still didn't say anything; we didn't need to each other's company was enough. It was nice to have made a friend like him as quickly as I had. Mush and Blink were well on their way to being called friend and I knew I was lucky I had always made friends quickly. Jack didn't trust me yet, Les and David liked me well enough. I wasn't looking for permanent friends, but I found that when it came time to leave I was going to miss Crutchy. I really would, I hoped he would catch a fair break in life. Actually I was going to try to do what I could to make sure of it as long as I was in the past.  
  
"Ya know Briar." Crutchy said softly, "Lookin at you from where I'm sitten, ya look like one of those necklaces with the women carved on it, ya know the ones those fancy ladies wear. "  
  
"Cameos?" I supplied in amusement. "Thanks Crutchy, but I'm not cameo."  
  
"No ya do, ya features would make a good cameo." Crutchy insisted. I felt my cheeks flaming, I knew I wasn't a bad looking girl, but this had to be one of the best compliments I had ever received.  
  
"That's what I'm gonna call you." Crutchy said firmly and I knew there would be no dissuading him. "Cameo, ya're on your way to bein a newsie, ya gotta have a newsie name."  
  
"A newsie name is supposed to be tough." I replied sheepishly not wanting to admit I liked the name, or that I even was enjoying his sweet compliment.  
  
"Unless ya're a girl." He said "We don't have many newsie girls, so if I wanta call ya Cameo ain't nobody gonna say nothin. Besides ya don't get to pick ya nickname, ya get it given to ya."  
  
"The second time in my life I get named and I don't have any say." I said wryly " I think children should be numbered until they are old enough to pick their own names."  
  
"Then they'd think their names was numbers, so it would still be the same." Crutchy pointed out. I shrugged and wrapped my arms around my legs, I stared out the window for a minute more then stood and held out my hand for Crutchy. He smiled and took it allowing me to help him to his feet.  
  
"Good night Crutchy." I whispered.  
  
"Good night Cameo."  
  
Sorry if this chapter is a little lame, I'll try to update it later when it's not so late and I haven't spent the last week working 14 hour days. Sorry again. Thank you for all who have read and reviewed 


	6. A Problem with Authority

Angry voices woke me the next morning, groggily I opened one eye to find an older man peering at me with an irritated look on his face. I smiled as sweetly as possible and pulled the blankets up around me in a gesture of modesty. Sunlight hit me from behind warming my back from the small window in the little room Crutchy had told me was mine.  
  
"I don't care she ain't stayin." The old man yelled, after staring at me for a moment. His voice ringing out across the room making me jump.  
  
"Gee Mr. Kloppman, we didn't know where else she could go." Crutchy was saying in a calm voice.  
  
"She can go anywhere, but here." Kloppman told him, from the way the boys were looking at him and the laugh creases around his eyes he didn't get angry often.  
  
"Kloppman." Jack said throwing his arm around Kloppman's shoulder. " Tell me really where else she can go. She ain't got any family, she ain't got a home, just like the rest of us. She's too old for the orphanage and I wouldn't wish Morris or Oscar into the poor house. So you tell me where we gonna send her? I know ya ain't gonna send her out on the streets."  
  
Jack flashed me a look and I took the hint giving Kloppman my best set of puppy eyes. I could see him fighting against his better judgment, but eventually I saw the look of acceptance in his eyes.  
  
"Okay, she can stay." Kloppman relented "But you better believe I'll be up here makin sure there's no funny business. I don't like her sleepin in the same room as ya louts. I want that door to remain closed if ya sleepin or if ya changing missy. I'll be opening it at night to make sure no one's lost their way and ended up in here."  
  
"I have better morals than that." I said trying not to sound too offended. " Just because I don't have a home doesn't mean I don't have any morals."  
  
"I'm just makin sure." Kloppman told me his face softening a little. "Get dressed I wanna see you down stairs before the boys leave to go over the rules with ya."  
  
I nodded and slammed the door shut, quickly I pulled on my clothes, switching out yesterdays shirt for one Mush had donated to me. One of the younger boys had offered an extra pair of trousers that I opted for as well. There had been some argument about me dressing like a man, but I had quelled those arguments with logical reasons. The one that had won the argument was that I was less likely to be accosted if I looked like a boy than if I looked like a girl. With grumbles the boys had relented at least those with any authority. Jack had held on until the last moment and finally gave in non-to gracefully. I opened the door to find a sleepy Jack slap boxing with an overly energetic Mush.  
  
I hate morning people I thought grumpily watching the two, from the look Jack gave me as I passed them he was in agreement. It was an odd feeling, we had disagreed on nearly everything since I had woken up and found myself at the Lodging House. The door to the washroom slammed shut as I passed. I grinned and continued out the door and down the rickety set of stairs to where Kloppman waited in his office.  
  
" Shut the door." Kloppman ordered, I did as he asked and sat in the chair he gestured to. " Look I'm sorry if I offended you in there, but what I said was as much for the boys as it were for you. Theys boys with healthy appetites in all areas, I ain't gonna pretend differently, but I don't run a cat house. The boys is right as of right now I ain't got a better place to send ya. I don't know nothin about you. I'm gonna assume until you prove otherwise that you is a good girl and ya ain't gonna let the boys into ya bed. If I find any hanky panky goin on ya out, ya got it?"  
  
I nodded pushing down the irritation that welled up inside of me. He nodded and opened the door.  
  
"Well with that bein said I guess we better get ya signed in." He said as he waived his hand for me to follow him out of the room. He opened up a book that lay on the counter. "Sign in, rents five cents a week, I'll let ya pass this week, but I expect my five cents next week."  
  
I signed my name and gave all the appropriate information finishing just as Mush and Blink clattered down the stairs.  
  
"Hey Cameo." Mush called, I rolled my eyes. Crutchy must have already told them the nickname he had given me the night before.  
  
"Briar, Mush." I said turning, "My name is Briar."  
  
"Crutchy told us he named ya Cameo so ya stuck with it." Blink told me handing me the hat I had left upstairs. "Anyways, we wanted to talk with ya before Jack did."  
  
I raised one eyebrow and leaned against the counter, my arms akimbo.  
  
"We was wonderin if ya wanted to sell with us today." Mush rushed on, searching my face as he said it. "We wanted to get to ya before Jack did, it ain't fair him getting Les and you."  
  
"Only if we split equally." I replied " Jack took a seventy percent cut of my earnings yesterday. He said it was because he had let me observe him free of charge, but I didn't need to observe anything."  
  
"That's Jack." Blink chuckled "So we split our takes equally an ya gonna come with us?"  
  
I nodded, Blink spit on his hand and held it out as if he expected me to shake it.  
  
"Do you know how many germs that spreads?" I asked wrinkling my nose in disgust. "It's a wonder you aren't all sick."  
  
Mush laughed and threw his arm around my shoulders pulling me out the door before Jack could come down the stairs. I pulled my hair on top of my head in a messy bun and threw my hat over it. We made it to the distribution center long before Jack and waited next to a bronze statue for the gates to open. Jack sauntered up as Blink and Mush were telling me the story of strike they had been involved in. They told it in a way that made me laugh and feel the emotions they had gone through. So that was what Jack had meant by women had been the only people they had let sell newspapers.  
  
"Have you two ever thought about making a book out of your story?" I asked, they both looked at me blankly " You really have the story telling knack. You have a gift, both of you."  
  
"Yeah, well gift or not I wanna know why my sellin partner is with these two bums." Jack said, his voice telling us all he was irritated.  
  
"You have a selling partner." I responded my tone casual " You have two selling partners, Jack."  
  
"Yeah well, I wants to keep an eye on ya again today."  
  
" You mean you want to make more money today." I said my tone sardonic. "If you're that worried about who I am, then I'm sure Blink and Mush wouldn't mind spying on me today."  
  
"I claimed ya as my sellin partner first." Jack snapped.  
  
"Jacky-boy, " I chuckled patting his cheek and smiling sweetly at him. " Ya gotta share the wealth."  
  
He didn't look happy about the way I mimicked his accent, nor the way I had evaded his wishes. He knew he didn't have much of a choice other than letting me go. I had shot down all of his excuses and he couldn't say anything else without giving Mush and Blink the wrong idea.  
  
"You two keep a close eye on her." He growled and stalked off into the opening gates. I watched as he ignored two punks who stood at the gates waiting for him taunting him.  
  
"I ain't never seen him ignore a chance to go at the DeLanceys." Mush said a little awe in his voice.  
  
" I ain't never seen him back down when he's wanted somethin." Blink added. They both looked at me with more than a little respect. "That's the second time ya won an argument with him. First wearin mens clothes now sellin with us."  
  
"He can't win them all." I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. "I guess he'll have to work on his arguing skills. I've been arguing my whole life to get where I want. I hadn't my father would have run all over me."  
  
"Amen to that." Mush said "We's all been fightin since we was born. Some of us fight with words, some with fists, most with both."  
  
"And where does Jack fall?" I asked as we made our way to the line that was forming in front of the window where an older gentleman stood taking down a tally of the newspapers as he sold them.  
  
"He wouldn't be the leader if he wasn't good at both." Blink told me as we bypassed the younger kids and cut into line next to Race. Crutchy waved from further up ahead. " Ya lucky, yous a girl. Jack don't take it too well when someone gives him lip."  
  
I chewed on that for a while, until Mush broke into my thoughts for some money to split the newspapers we had bought. Crutchy was waiting at the end of the stairs for us as I followed Mush and Blink down.  
  
"Hey Crutchy, I could sell with you tomorrow." I said my face brightening as I saw his goofy grin. He looked down for a moment then looked back up his face serious and almost pained.  
  
" I don't think that would be a good idea Cameo." He said so softly I almost didn't' catch his words.  
  
"Why not?" I asked my face showing my confusion. I had thought we were good friends, why wouldn't he want me to sell with him?  
  
"I think you should stick with the stronger boys." He said reluctantly, his cheeks were a little pink and I knew what ever he was going to say next would be something that was hard for him. "If we got into trouble I wouldn't be able to protect you."  
  
"Crutchy, I'm not a weak woman, who's going to stand around crying for help if I get into trouble." I told him " I know how to take care of myself, I may not have grown up on the streets, but I'm no stranger to trouble."  
  
"I still think it would be best if ya sold with the other boys." Crutchy insisted. I let the matter drop, knowing how difficult this conversation was for him. He gave me half a grin and hobbled away before I could say anything else. I felt horrible; I hadn't realized when I asked him how insecure about his leg he was. He had such a great outlook on life I hadn't even stopped to consider the fact that he might not be comfortable with his disability.  
  
"Don't let it bother you." Mush said reading my expression, angrily I clamped down on my emotions and felt the familiar mask settle on my face that would keep him from reading any more. "he gets this way sometimes."  
  
"He's right though." Blink added. " Ya may be able to protect yaself, but between you and Crutchy ya'd get yaself hurt tryin to protect each other."  
  
I gave them a glare and snatched my share of the papers from Mush's outstretched hand. I started out the gates, but stopped sheepishly when I realized I had no idea where we were going. Blink laughed and Mush looked at me with twinkling eyes. I just seethed, they let me walk ahead for a few blocks until my temper had cooled a bit and my bruised pride had settled down. It was a repeat of the day before, Mush or Blink were always there, one never very far away. I knew they were keeping an eye on me to make sure I didn't get myself into some trouble. I didn't know whether to be irritated at their protectiveness, or be glad they cared. We split our earnings and headed off for Tibbys for lunch. Crutchy met us there, he seemed to have forgotten our earlier conversation and I let it go. If he was afraid to sell with me then I would have to deal with it. It wasn't worth arguing with him. I knew it made him uncomfortable. I looked over at Jack and smiled, now if it had been Jack I wouldn't have been able to resist arguing. He had this arrogance about him that just made me want to take him down a peg or two. He was a good-looking guy I had to admit that, but still there was that damn I am right aura that made me want to smack him.  
  
"Don't tell me, you're another girl to add to the Jack's swoon of fame." I heard Blink say in a teasing voice. I realized I had been studying Jack, just long enough for them to notice.  
  
"Yeah , they always do that." Crutchy joined in.  
  
"I have never swooned over a guy." I told him indifferently " I'm not about to start with your holier than thou leader."  
  
" Did you hear what she said guys?" Mush laughed " She just called Jack holier than thou."  
  
I hid my grin behind my glass of root beer and gave Blink a steady look.  
  
"Besides he's not my type." I said offhandedly, making Mush break into laughter all over again. Blink just shrugged as if he didn't buy it, his expression telling me he would believe it when he saw it.  
  
"You ain't seen Jack turn on the charm." He responded his tone matching mine.  
  
"You ain't seem me turn on the charm either." I replied winking at Mush who looked like he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Tears were streaming from his eyes as he gasped for air between laughs.  
  
"So what's so funny over here?" I heard Jack say looking up into those hazel eyes I gave him the same sweet smile I had given him earlier and shrugged.  
  
"I don't buy it, that smile means ya up to something." He said looking at me warily.  
  
"I'm perfectly innocent." I told him batting my eyelashes at him sweetly, he rolled his eyes and turned away.  
  
"Innocent my ass." I heard him mumble as he sauntered from Tibby's Les and Davy following in his wake.  
  
" I sure hope it's innocent." I couldn't help calling after him. The boys all gave me an odd look and I remembered where I was. I couldn't help slipping sometimes, especially with all that Renaissance Festival influence. I shrugged and finished my meal in silence. I followed Mush and Blink out and to the next selling spot, not much changing from that morning. We split our money again and headed back to the Lodging House. It was dark by the time we finally reached it and I heard a vaguely familiar voice boasting as we reached the top of the steps. I entered and immediately found my eyes drawn to the beautiful pair of blue eyes that had captured my attention the morning before. Which had been a feat considering my attention had not been on the boys so much as wondering how I had gotten there and the horrible nausea that I had been inflicted with.  
  
"So ya still here." Spot drawled, a lazy grin on his face. " I woulda thought you woulda cleared out by now."  
  
That smoldering look he was giving me made my legs weak and I could feel that tingling feeling that you always get just as a crush is ready to set in.  
  
Get a hold of yourself. I snapped at myself trying to keep my face cool and expressionless. So I fought at the crush with the only way I knew how, I spoke.  
  
"What makes you think that?" I asked " What's it to ya anyway? Isn't your territory Brooklyn?"  
  
"What happens in Jacky-boys' territory is my business." He told me the grin vanishing from his face.  
  
"Really is the almighty Jack unable to take his own territory?" I knew Jack was just coming out of the washroom I knew he would be able to hear me and I couldn't resist giving him a little dig.  
  
"I can handle my territory just fine." I heard him say his voice taking on an edge that I knew meant he would show who ever questioned him just how well he could handle it.  
  
"I'm not the one questioning." I replied a small smile playing at the corners of my mouth.  
  
"I'm not questioning." Spot said his eyes never leaving mine telling me just how much my comments were getting under his skin. " Jacky-boy can take more than any of these bums, but we's got an alliance and I likes to know what my fellow leaders, got goin on."  
  
"Oh you don't have to explain yourself to me." I was enjoying every minute of this and I knew that he knew. He stood slowly walking towards me like a stalking tiger, his eyes telling me he was just as deadly. Damn there isn't anything that is as attractive as a bad boy and I had no doubts Spot was exactly that.  
  
"I don't explain myself to anyone." He responded stopping just a few inches shy of me. I gave in a devil may care smile trying to ignore the effect those eyes had on me. He knew the bastard, I could tell by the smirk on his face.  
  
"Fancy that." I said glaring up at him. " I think you just did."  
  
"I graced you with that answer."  
  
"Really?" my voice dripped with sarcasm " Well I'll consider myself privileged."  
  
" You should." He said in a tone that told me that he meant it. His hand brushed my cheek and I jerked back.  
  
"I don't know who the hell you think I am." I hissed " but you keep your dirty crumb snatchers off of me."  
  
I whirled and stormed into my little room making the walls shake with the force of the door slamming as I did. I fumed just who did he think he was God's gift to women. I bet he really believed that. I paced in the pathetically small room turning practically every four steps. Mush opened the door tentatively, I looked at him and from his expression I knew I looked pretty angry.  
  
"Sorry Mush." I said as he turned to go. " I'm not angry with you, actually I don't know why I got so angry."  
  
Mush turned back I saw the deck of cards in his hand.  
  
" Spot and Jack went downstairs I thought you might like to play with us again." He said softly. " Ya know, one word of advise for all of our pieces of mind, please don't taunt Spot. Jack's one thing, but Spot he's got a temper, if ya push him too far I don't wanta have to jump in."  
  
"I'm sorry Mush, " I whispered hanging my head, I didn't even think about how my reaction would have affected the few friends I had made.  
  
"No problem, it was great to see someone finally give Spot the run around for a change." He smiled at me and I saw Blink and Crutchy waiting for me at Crutchy's bunk. Blink glared at me for a moment, but Crutchy just gave me his signature grin and I tried to ignore Blink's wrath. It didn't take him long to forget though as I kicked butt at poker.  
  
"Look kid, don't do that again." Blink said softly as I started to my room when Kloppman came up and told us it was lights out. " Yeah could have gotten yaself hurt."  
  
"I'm not afraid of him." I told him " But I'll try not to."  
  
He nodded giving me a worried look before he headed off to his own bunk. Jack just gave me a look as he passed that told me exactly how pissed he was. I shrugged trying to brush it off. Getting people angry seemed to be my gift, but it wasn't a gift I usually enjoyed. I sighed and shut me door softly praying I hadn't done too much damage. 


	7. Earning a Place

I lay awake that night staring at the ceiling for a little while, then I tried staring out the window, finally I tried pacing. Nothing was working, where are the damn sheep when you need them? I needed to sleep I knew it, but I couldn't force myself. A small whimpering made me stop in mid- pacing, cocking my head toward the door I heard it again. It sounded like a distressed child. My hand immediately flew to the doorknob. Kloppman's warning flew through my mind.  
  
"Screw it." I whispered to myself as I heard the whimper again, it sounded even more distressed. I opened the door and peered into the moonlit room trying to discern where the noise had come from. It came again only this time it had gone from a whimper to a soft wail. Call it motherly instinct, but I made a beeline straight for the noise. A few of the boys lifted their heads groggily as the wail came again followed by a choking sob. My heart contracted in my chest at the noise, I dropped to my knees at the bunk holding a small boy of about six. His face was twisted in a grimace, I could see the tears streaming down his face, he was fast asleep caught in a nightmare. Softly I ran a hand over his hair gently in a comforting gesture. He screamed and bolted upright, I did the only thing I knew to do and that was pull him into my arms. He was trembling and I felt my heart melt at the terrified look in his bright green eyes. He fought me for a moment trying to break free still caught between consciousness and sleep.  
  
"Mama." He cried. " NO Mama."  
  
"It's alright." I whispered soothingly, not wanting to let go yet. "You're in the Lodging House, it was only a dream."  
  
Slowly he calmed and allowed me to hold him. I knew that right now this kid needed a little bit of a motherly figure.  
  
"You the new girl." He said softly his eyes looking at me questioningly. "Cameo."  
  
"You know my name, but what's yours?" I asked a small smile of encouragement on my lips.  
  
"Mimic." He told me his eyes watching me. I looked in them and saw the wary gleam as if he were a wild animal waiting the next break so he could run.  
  
"Is he okay?" Mimic jumped causing me to jump. My heart thumping in my chest I turned to see Jack standing above us a worried look on his face.  
  
"He's fine." I replied. I gathered the boy in my arms and stood ignoring the stares of the other newsboys. Mimic hung on, not really ready to let go and be the tough boy he undoubtedly was. For the moment he it seemed he was a lost little boy, who desperately needed a mother. I carried him to my room and closed the door, leaving it cracked. I knew that he would be embarrassed in a few minutes both by his reaction to the nightmare and allowing me to comfort him.  
  
"You want to talk about it?" I whispered listening to the other boys' beds creaking as they got into a better position. He looked out the window and shook his head, already receding into himself. " I won't tell the other boys I promise."  
  
He searched my face his eyes telling me he was looking to see if I meant what I said. I reached out my hand and felt him slide his into mine.  
  
"It was me mum." He whispered looking away, the pain in his eyes made my heart ache for him. "She... Well, she was a whore."  
  
I flinched at the word, it was not one I would have expected to be part of a six year olds vocabulary. At least not one that he would be allowed to use, I nodded in a way I hoped was encouraging.  
  
"She wasn't a bad lady, just tryin to make a livin for me and her." He continued his words tumbling over each other as he rushed to get it out. It was as if he had wanted to tell someone, but hadn't had anyone to tell. He was defensive mistaking my flinch for disgust at his mothers profession. "She didn't know any other way. I was downstairs that night waitin until her last customer was gone, and I heard her screamin. I went upstairs, but Madame Lucy, just held me back. When the man finally came out he was covered in.... in blood. Madame Lucy let go of me and went inside the room then she started yellin. She was sayin she hadn't been paid for his tastes; she hadn't been paid for him to torture her girl to death. A little pain was okay, but not killin 'em. When I got to the door.... when I got there.... she..."  
  
Tears were streaming down his face; gently as I could I pulled him into my arms and cradled him as if I could take his pain away. I knew all these boys had come here for a reason, I knew they all had pasts that were painful. Some probably more than others, but I felt sick knowing what this child had seen. He had lived knowing things he shouldn't know about yet. Seeing things that if we are lucky we never see. He let me hold him, let me rock him back and forth his eyes staring straight out the window, his little body trembling with emotion. Finally it was as if he could take it no more. He turned his head into my shoulder and sobbed. I felt tears of my own; I ached for this boy in every part of my being. I wished I could have done more, but I did what I could, I held him and let him cry it out in heart wrenching sobs. Finally he lifted his head wearily, his eyes puffy from the tears he had shed.  
  
"I sorry." He lisped, I could see the blush in his chubby little cheeks even in the moonlight.  
  
"Don't be." I told him still rocking him. He gave me a tentative smile and I smiled back. " I don't care what it is, if you need someone to talk to you just come and see me."  
  
He nodded thoughtfully settling back against me letting me stroke his hair.  
  
"Me mam used to do that." He whispered "She used to sing to me too."  
  
"Did she?" I whispered back.  
  
"Would you sing to me too?" When he glanced up at me a saw the uncertainty in his eyes as if he were afraid he was asking for too much. I took an unsteady breathe an searched my mind for any songs I knew that would serve as a lullaby. One came to mind immediately. 'My Favorite Things' had been the song my own mother had sang to me as a child while she ran her fingers through my hair. I had often fallen asleep listening to her beautiful voice. Softly I sang switching to 'The Rose', then moving on to every slow song I remembered from any musical I had stored in my brain. Finally I felt his body grow limp, his breathing evening out. Soft sobs that always follow a good cry were fading. I picked him up to carry him to his bunk, when his eyes flew open.  
  
"Don't leave me." He cried his eyes wild with fear, his little hand clutching at my chemise with a strength I knew would take tearing the fabric to get him to let go. I nodded and sat on my little makeshift bed, rocking him until he fell back asleep. I pulled the blanket over us both and I stared out the window, kissing any sleep I might have gotten goodbye.  
  
"That was real kind of ya." I jumped startled at the voice that broke through my thoughts. I looked up to see Jack sitting in the doorway, just on the other side of the threshold of my room.  
  
"Will you stop sneaking up on me?" I snapped, remembering to keep my voice down.  
  
"Sorry." He replied a small grin playing on his lips. "He's lucky, most of us just gotta take the nightmares and move on until hopefully they fade."  
  
"You heard?"  
  
He nodded his face taking on the grim look of a man who isn't about to show pity for a fellow sufferer. Who's too macho and manly to let that little bit of weakness show.  
  
"I've heard worse stories, but not many." Jack sighed his arms wrapping around his knees as he studied me.  
  
"No one should have a story like that." I hissed angrily. "No one should have to live through that."  
  
"Wake up sweetheart." Jack responded his expression grim. "We's all got stories like that. We's all lived through things most people should never live through, but we do, we make it, we move on. Some of us is just lucky to find a kind heart to help us through."  
  
I felt the blush that flooded my cheeks as I realized the compliment he had just given me.  
  
" I didn't to anything that a normal person ought to have done." I said ducking my head for a moment then returning his look directly.  
  
"Funny, 'cause you ain't a normal person." He told him his face splitting into a grin. "Ya the craziest woman I'se ever met."  
  
"Thanks." I said dryly rolling my eyes. Typical guy, they give you a compliment and then follow it by a remark that negates that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're complimented. "So much for warm fuzzys."  
  
"That's what I'm talkin about." Jack went on. " Ya say such queer things and ya don't act like any girl I've ever known. Ya say things about stuff girls don't talk about even if they's married. Ya act more like one of they boys."  
  
"Then treat me like one of the boys." I said. " And as for what women talk about, you'd be surprised what they say when you're not around. Especially if they are married."  
  
I knew that even in the age I was in, woman talked about things trying to make each other blush. The newly married women were usually the worst targeted, mostly because they were new to the idea of well, in good old twenty first century terms, sex. Jack just shook his head and looked away for a minute.  
  
" I was thinkin about kickin ya out." He said after a moment of silence, I felt my pride well up and anger flash through me. " Spot's one of me bestfriends and well.. I don't know how to deal with the way ya act."  
  
" I'll find my way." I told him proudly. " I'll be out of your hair come morning."  
  
"Awe, cheese it." he said a little irritation seeping into his words. " I ain't gonna kick ya out. Ya gotta touch with the kids an I could use that. They ain't always the easiest to deal with especially when they ain't got someone tuckin them in at night. They all needs a little bit of a mother an I think ya can do it. Ya just earned ya place here. If ya gotta better place then I ain't gonna stop you, but we both know ya don't. If ya wanna go then ya can, but I think ya like working with kids. I think ya can help them like none of us boys can."  
  
Damn I always have been a sucker for those who were hurting and I had a feeling he knew that. He knew I'd stay, he knew I'd help with the younger kids in a way he never could. He knew he had me.  
  
"Now all I'm asking is that ya stop tryin to get under my skin. It ain't sittin to well with me boys, they's startin to mimic you and testin my authority."  
  
"I'm sorry." I replied softly swallowing my pride, man did I hate apologizing. I barely had been able to get the words out of my mouth. He searched my face as if trying to see if I had meant it. The look he gave me next told me he understood, and I had the feeling it was just as hard for him to apologize.  
  
"'S all right." He told me " I don't suppose ya gonna tell me anymore about yaself than ya told Crutchy are ya?"  
  
I looked at him in surprise feeling a little betrayed it wasn't as if it were anything that had to stay confidential, but no one likes it when their closest friend starts talking about your past as if it were gossip to be spread. I shook my head, Crutchy wouldn't gossip about me. I hadn't told him to keep any of what I said to himself, he would have I had said something I was sure.  
  
"Crutchy told you?"  
  
"There weren't nothin to really tell." Jack said his face serious. " Normally I don't pry, I don't care, as long as ya do as I say and follow my lead I ignore it. But it ain't everyday that a good lookin girl shows up in an alley way. It was odd, one minute there's nothing there the next me boys is stumbilin over something. An that somthin was you. There was this weird light shinin all around you then it went away. So what happened?"  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I did tell you." I sighed wishing that I could explain it. I ignored his comments about my looks. He was probably trying to butter me up to tell him more. Well I wasn't some calf eyed girl that was going to spill my guts the minute a good looking boy complimented me.  
  
"Ya ain't some kinda witch or somethin are ya?" he asked his voice telling me he was serious. What was it with people? They see something odd and they immediately think the person is a witch. I would have thought they were over that thought pattern by now.  
  
"Do you think if I was that I would still be here?" I queried in an irritated tone. " I'm thinking I would be living in a mansion right now, with servants and good food instead of half starving with a bunch of newsboys."  
  
He took that in and nodded in agreement his face flushing a little at his question.  
  
"So we's callin a truce?"  
  
I nodded, he spit and held out his hand, I looked at it as if it were a snake, a poisonous one at that.  
  
"Do you know how many germs your saliva has?" I asked unable to keep the revulsion from my voice. He just chuckled and wiped his hand on his pants before offering it back to me. I looked at it a moment before finally shaking his hand. Silently he stood and turned back to the bunkroom heading for his bed.  
  
"Hey Cameo?" he called softly turning back before I could shut my door.  
  
"Yeah?" I called back.  
  
"I don't mind ya pushin Spot's buttons, " he said "it's nice to see a girl who ain't all fluttery around him, but could ya try not to start a war between us? We've had a truce with Brooklyn for a while now and I ain't too anxious to start something."  
  
"I'm not making any promises." I told him trying to ignore the fluttery feeling I did get when I thought of those baby blues. " You tell him to keep his hands off and I'll do what I can."  
  
He grunted which I took for an agreement and a moment later I heard a bed creak signaling he had settled into his bunk. I shut the door and settled back me leaning against the wall. I felt my eyes becoming heavy and gladly allowed sleep to come.  
  
"Wake up." Kloppman's voice echoed through the bunkroom and I heard the groans of the boys as they tried to wake up. I heard Mush's usually cheerful voice and heard thumps that followed it telling me that a few of the boys had throw whatever came to hand at him. I closed my eyes hoping I'd get a few more minutes.  
  
"Where's Mimic?" I heard him ask. So much for that idea, looks like I was going to have to wake up before Kloppman chewed my butt for letting the kid sleep with me.  
  
"He had a nightmare." I heard Jack say.  
  
Bless him. I thought as I fuzzily pushed the blanket away from both of us and started trying to wake the kid who was sleeping like the dead. A night of crying has a tendency to do that though.  
  
"So that still don't tell me where he is." I heard Kloppman retort.  
  
"Cameo took him into her room so the rest of us could get some sleep." Jack explained his voice sounding as persuasive as I had ever heard it. I heard Kloppman grumbling and heard his footsteps as they reached my door. It flew open and I found myself smiling at him, grabbing for the blanket I had just pushed off.  
  
"The kid okay?" He asked worry in his eyes as he looked at the sleeping boy.  
  
"He's fine, just needed someone to talk to." I replied as I wrapped the blanket around me like a shawl. Mimic sleepily opened one eye and glared at both of us for the infraction of disturbing his slumber.  
  
" Morning sleepy head." I teased tickling him and earning a giggle that he immediately tried to hide behind a glare. I heard Kloppman chuckle, we both looked at him smiling.  
  
"Get goin shorty." He told Mimic. He scampered off leaving Kloppman's attention on me. " Thanks for calmin him down, I ain't gonna yell at ya. I guess ya ain't in trouble since Mimic's a little young for ya."  
  
"A little?" I asked the disgust, even the thought made me want to vomit. " How could you even....... Oh never mind."  
  
Kloppman shrugged and meandered off to wake the boys who weren't sleepily filing into the washroom. Sighing I shut my door and started to get ready for another day. I heard a soft knock on my door as I pulled up my suspenders and looked around for my hat.  
  
"Come in." I called cursing as I pushed around my meager belongings wondering how I could have lost it in a room the size of a linen closet. Glancing up I saw Mimic standing in the doorway looking at me shyly.  
  
"Can I help you?" I asked stopping my search for a moment and turning my attention on the cute little kid with strawberry blonde hair and vivid green eyes.  
  
"Can I sell with you today?" his voice was soft and he had a look on his face that told me it had been hard for him to get up the courage to ask. After all this kid had been through I had a feeling that he was afraid to let anyone close.  
  
"Of course you can." I told him ruffling his hair. "As soon as I find my hat."  
  
He grinned impishly and darted into my room pulling my hat from under the pillow it had been half hidden under.  
  
"Go figure." I groaned " Right under my nose."  
  
"What was?" Mush asked from the doorway.  
  
"My hat." I replied as I pulled my hair under the cap.  
  
"So we got ourselves another new sellin partner?" Blink asked.  
  
"Yup," I responded giving Mimic a grin. " With this kids mug how could I refuse."  
  
"Yeah, he is kinda cute." Mush agreed, pushing Mimic's hat down in a gesture that was much like an older brothers.  
  
Mimic latched onto my hand and I didn't let go until we reached to distribution center. I handed Mush enough money for my share of the papers and waited patiently while he got them. Life was becoming a routine now, wake up sell papers, go to Tibby's, sell more papers, go home, play some poker, go to bed. So as soon as lunch came around can you guess where we headed?  
  
I heard Spot's voice just as we entered the restaurant and groaned. Why couldn't dog boy just stay in Brooklyn?  
  
"So Jacky-boy we's hostin a little get together tonight in Brooklyn," I heard him say "Thought I'd pop over and give ya a little invitation."  
  
I heard the murmurs of excitement that rippled through the crowd.  
  
"Ya can count on us to be there." Jack replied doing that disgusting spit thing. Damn they would have to have a party in Brooklyn. I could hear everyone talking about it excitedly, I guess Brooklyn must have thrown quiet the bash previously.  
  
"Ya gonna come?" I looked up and saw those blue eyes that I wasn't sure whether to hate or fall into. His look was challenging and I knew I would be there, there wasn't anything on this earth that would stop me. I would answer his challenge and beat him at his own game if it killed me.  
  
"Wouldn't miss it for the world." I replied sweetly. Mush and Blink just shook their heads.  
  
"Well this should be interestin." Blink muttered. I just gave them a sweet smile as well and ordered lunch. 


	8. Glimmer

Thank you to all those loyal reviewers. I want to let you know I'm changing the year, a few months is not enough time to have lapsed for the changes I'm looking for. I'll fix the previous chapters bear with me please. Thank you again!  
  
P.S. Here you go Chelci.  
  
I managed to get back to the Lodging House long before the boys were due home. I wanted a bath and I didn't want to be disturbed by nosy newsboys who were hoping for a peek.  
  
"Hey Kloppman, I'm going to take a bath, keep the savages away for a little while." I called as Kloppman poked his head out from his office. I should have plenty of time, but it never hurt to be cautious. I knew Mush and Blink might come looking for me, I had left Mimic with them knowing he would be well watched after.  
  
"There's a new set of clothes on ya bed Cameo." He said "I found some that might fit ya a little better."  
  
"Bless you." I cried in glee a bath and clean clothed I had died and gone to heaven. I gave Kloppman a hug that nearly knocked him over and smacked a kiss on his cheek. He gave me a blushing smile as I glanced back at him while trying to run up the stairs at the same time. Big mistake, the stairs were old therefore not entirely even and very steep. I earned myself a few bruises as I managed to keep myself from tumbling down when I tripped. Kloppman just shook his head as I tried to ignore the embarrassed feeling that invariably follows a clumsy moment. You just can't help it  
  
I surveyed the washroom as I entered it taking note of the messiness of the area. Shaking my head I made my way to the tub and began pumping water into it from the hand pump that was positioned above. I had found the clothes folded neatly on my bed. An off white colored shirt that was obviously a little warn, but still serviceable, a pair of black trousers and a dark green vest seemed like an evening gown. Somehow though Kloppman had managed to find a camisole. It appealed to my femininity in a way the other clothes could never compete with. It too was warn, it was cream the embroidery had been picked out of it, but the lace was still intact. A matching set of pantaloons that would fit nicely beneath my trousers made me practically swoon with joy. I didn't mind wearing men's clothes, but sometimes I ached for something pretty. I set my treasures on a stool I had dragged into from the other room. There was no way I was going to put my new clothes down on that dirty slab of wood the boys called a counter. I contemplated the water for a moment knowing that it hadn't been heated and I didn't have the time to heat any on the stove downstairs. Nor was I feeling that industrious anyway. Okay, Okay I'll admit it I was being lazy.  
  
"It can't be that bad." I murmured as I stripped off my clothes and stood for a moment looking down at it. Taking a deep breath I stepped inside and the air froze in my lungs.  
  
"Good God!" I cried when I could finally get air back into my lungs, I immediately started shivering, quickly I grabbed the bar of softly scented soap I had bought earlier in the day and began scrubbing with a vigor hoping to get the blood flowing through my veins again. No wonder the boys looked so grubby half the time I was glad I had had a father that liked to do outdoor activities. I had been on many long backpacking trips and knew how to rough it. I had to admit it had to have been the quickest bath I have ever taken though. No lounging around the tub with a glass of wine for me. Not that I could have lounged in a tub that I had to sit on my knees to get into. Finally I took the coarse fabric of the meal sacks the boys used for towels and rubbed myself dry, still not sure if it was worth it. I took the bit of fabric I had rescued from going into the rag bin and wrapped it around myself to offer what support it could, what I wouldn't have given for a bra. A corset just wasn't practical in the life I was living, I needed to be able to bend and move. Though I longingly thought of feminine clothes as I pulled on my pretty camisole and pantaloons wishing I had a dress to go with. What can I say? I'm not a girly girl, but I do like to look like a woman every now and then. I heard thundering on the stairs and Kloppman yelling as I finished buttoning up my shirt. Hurriedly I tightened the leather belt that had been added to my new wardrobe just as the door flew open and six guys peered in with wide expecting eyes. Their faces dimmed as they saw I was fully dressed.  
  
"Ya bums!" I heard Kloppman yelling as he entered the bunkroom as swiftly as his arthritic limbs would allow.  
  
"You were too late." I chuckled as I pushed past Jack and another newsie that I remembered being called Skittery. They groaned and dispersed some going into the washroom, others turning for their bunks.  
  
"Did ya see anythin?" Mush cried as he stumbled into the room an irritated Crutchy had tripped him slowing his progress as best he could. I gave him a grin in thanks.  
  
"Na, she was dressed already." Blink called from the other side of the room.  
  
"What an ego booster I feel like Marilyn Monroe." I said shaking my head.  
  
"Who's Marilyn Monroe?" Mimic asked as he pushed his way to me. I smiled and ruffled his hair before replying.  
  
"Never mind." I sighed " You'll know about her if you're lucky when you're in your sixties."  
  
"Why do I have to wait so long?" he questioned as I took Crutchy's comb from it's spot and began working the tangles out of my hair. It was long, past my waist and tangled at the thought of water so trying to get the comb through it was proving to be an irritating endeavor.  
  
"Just trust me." I told him trying not to cuss at a large knot that I was working on. My hair was still wet and was soaking my vest. "Damn it where's the scissors?"  
  
"Ya ain't gonna cut it are you?" Mimic asked his eyes giving me a sad look. "It's pretty."  
  
" Okay squirt for you I'll keep it." I told him. I wouldn't have cut it anyway, it was a idle threat that anyone who knew me would have recognized. I had been threatening to cut my hair for the three years it had taken me to grow it out. It just made me feel like I had some control over it I suppose. I had always related to Amy's comment in Little Women though, when she had called Jo's hair her one true beauty. I had been blessed with thick black hair that waved if I didn't brush it right away. I watched Mimic meander off and laid back against Crutchy's bed. It was nice to have a moments quiet, well maybe not quiet, more like a moment to relax. Fifteen noisy teenage boys trying to get ready for a night on the town is never quiet.  
  
"Mimic stop it." an irritated voice broke me from my thoughts.  
  
"Mimic stop it." I heard my little friend say in return. I rolled my eyes well at least I knew where he had gotten his name. Kids, they loved to annoy those they liked the most I wondered if I should let Race know that little secret.  
  
"Mimic." I saw Race come around the corner " if ya don't cut it out I'm gonna soak ya."  
  
"Mimic." My little charge replied in perfect cadence and tone " If ya don't cut it out I'm gonna soak ya."  
  
"Mimic." I called as Race turned on him. Mimic grinned at Race and dodged past him to stand in front of me. So much for a moment of relaxation. "Stop."  
  
"Mimic." He started. I clapped my hand over his mouth and gave him that look that all women know how to give, that warned him exactly how dire a punishment he was going to get if he finished his sentence. It is commonly referred to as the "Mom" look, but older girls learn it as soon as they have little kids to boss around. He shut up and Race gave me a thankful look. I choked as Mush walked past me reeking of cheep cologne.  
  
"Mush you're not supposed to bathe in the stuff." I gagged.  
  
"Ya think it's too much?" He asked worriedly. " I don't want the girls to avoid me."  
  
"Honey with that stuff, they'll run before they see you." I replied with watering eyes. He shrugged and headed back into the washroom to wash some of it off I hoped.  
  
"Ya ready?" Jack asked me as he finished buttoning up his shirt and wrapped his red bandanna around his neck. I stood giving Mimic a hug as I nodded.  
  
"Do ya have to go?" Mimic asked " Can I come?"  
  
"Yes and no." I chuckled as I stood.  
  
"Please don't go." He looked at me with fearful eyes. " What if the nightmare comes?"  
  
"Then you'll go get Kloppman." I replied worried that maybe this kid might get too dependent on me. I wasn't going to be around forever, just until I could figure out how to go home. Right? What was wrong with me was I loosing myself in this time. Was I forgetting where I came from? " I'll be home later, you can sleep in my room if it makes you feel better."  
  
He nodded and watched me walk away his face looking as if his dog had just died; I felt my heart squeezing and was just about to turn back when Jack grabbed my arm.  
  
"He'll be fine." Jack told me as he steered me out the door and down the steps. " Spot wanted ya to come tonight and I ain't gonna have ya turnin the boys into mama's boys. They needs some comfortin, but they gotta stand on their own feet too."  
  
I nodded and waved at Mimic who had gone to the window to watch us leave. It will be good for him. I thought, I couldn't let him get too close; I needed to wean him off onto someone else. I turned my attention to putting one foot in front of the other and followed Jack. Mush and Blink eventually caught up both excited; thankfully Mush had toned down the cologne.  
  
"Brooklyn's bashes are the best." I heard Mush tell me as my mind a million miles away as I thought about the future. My hand rested on my necklace and I distantly heard a familiar ringing noise, my heart leapt.  
  
"Cameo, what's wrong with ya?" Blink asked as I felt a warm light on my face. They seemed to be fading and I quickly dropped my hand. The ringing faded, the light disappeared and Blink and Mush were looking at me with fear in their eyes. Damn it why had I dropped my hand?  
  
"Cameo?" Mush questioned cautiously. "What was that?"  
  
"Nothing," I mumbled and pushed ahead of them. I was confused, I knew what had been about to happen and I had stopped it. Why? I had just been thinking about how I needed to go home. I didn't belong here. Did I? Was the gypsy lady right? Was I meant for this time? No, no I cannot let myself do this. I need to go home. For what? A little voice in my head asked. To a father that stopped loving you five years ago? To a stepmother that hates you? To a family you don't belong in? To a home you feel like a stranger in? The only person you ever were close to is dead Briar, gone has been for the past five years. I felt the tears gathering in my eyes and stopped my head dropping into my hands.  
  
"Are you okay?" I head Blink ask the fear gone from his voice, only worry and concern were present. I looked up to see a look similar to his voice on his face. Blink was right behind him  
  
"I'm fine." I said softly raising my head and blinking back the tears. " I'm fine, I don't know what happened."  
  
Mush looked at me I knew there was fear in my eyes as I realized I really didn't want to go home. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and gave me a hug I didn't know I needed. I let him hold me for a moment then broke free, shaking my head and letting my thoughts clear a little.  
  
"Come on boys, we have a party to attend and Spot Conlon to annoy." I said giving them a wan smile. "Dog boy's going to wish he never gave me that personal invitation."  
  
"Dog boy?" Blink laughed " Oh that's great, bet ya she never actually says that to his face."  
  
"Are you challenging me?" I raised an eyebrow and grinned evilly. " You think I won't?"  
  
"Blink did ya have to open ya mouth?" Mush cried as he followed me inside the Brooklyn Lodging House. It was full people, reminding me sharply of a fraternity house in the midst of a party. Things sure didn't change, everyone had a cup of something in their hand, cigarettes made the air swirl in odd patterns, and a few couples wondered around. I knew though looking at a few of the girls these weren't cheerleaders. They had a look in their eyes that was hard and I chuckled to myself as I tried to picture them with pom-poms and pony tails.  
  
"Well, well if it ain't the great Cameo herself." I heard him say, I turned slowly casually and leaned against the wall. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow in a look that used to drive my mother crazy. She often threatened to shave my eyebrow to keep me from looking at her like that. It was a cocky, arrogant look that I had coined from my father and she hadn't liked it on him anymore than she did on me. I felt my look slipping as I thought of my mother, my rock, my guiding star, the greatest person I had ever known. She was lost to me now I had to move on and the day I lost her I had lost my father. It was how it had happened, how it was meant to be, nothing I could do about it.  
  
Spot sat in a throne like chair, a few feet between it and the wall. Everything beyond the chair was in shadow. My eyes locked with his and I felt my face become a mask, hiding the fact I usually felt like a boat being tossed about in a storm. I was good at masks they were my salvation, my only way of keeping people at bay. Well my smart- assed comments usually did the trick as well, but the hardest part was there was still a part of me that wanted out. Wanted acceptance, wanted love, wanted someone who would miss me if I were gone. I shook my head; I could see the understanding in his eyes.  
  
"Hello Rover, how are you doing?" I asked my face still frozen in the look my mother hated. I let my eyes wander lazily up him, his strong legs encased in faded black trousers, his red suspenders that I was sure at one time had been bright, his dingy white shirt rolled up to his strong biceps, his sexy sullen smirk. I found it hard to believe that Mush had told me he had been scrawny only a year ago. He wasn't rippling like Mush, but he wasn't what I would call scrawny. Lean and strong, more tone than bulk. There were murmurs through the crowd as everyone waited to see what Spot would do.  
  
"I don't think I heard ya right, didya just call me Rover?" Spot's face was flushed and his eyes were flashing dangerously. Mush stepped behind me and put a staying hand on my shoulder that I ignored.  
  
"I think I did," I replied my own eyes answering his challenge.  
  
"Ya lucky you're a girl." He hissed as he stood, I had to look up at him.  
  
"So this is the girl that's been givin ya trouble." I heard a female voice say. I watched as she stepped from the shadows moving like a predator stalking it's prey. I fought the urge to take an involuntary step back. Her hair was a honey color, medium brown at the base with soft golden highlights from the sun. Her eyes were a green as they flashed they seemed to be blue. She was dressed as I was, not in womanly clothing, as a man. She was seizing me up I could see it as she circled me, I did not move. I stood my ground and watched her my look a warning in itself.  
  
" I don't believe I've had the pleasure." I said stiffly, my body tensed as I waited for the attack I sensed might be coming. She smiled a slow grin that didn't quite make it to her eyes.  
  
"Glimmer." She replied " the names Glimmer."  
  
"Cameo." I responded neither of us offered a hand, just stared each other down each letting the other know she wouldn't be dominated.  
  
"Ya have a mouth on ya Cameo." She told me looking at her raggedy nails as she said it. " Can ya back it?"  
  
"Would you like to see?" I asked raising my eyebrow further. She gave me that cold smile again, but I saw a glimmer of respect in her eyes.  
  
"Maybe later we'll see what ya got." Glimmer's voice held a little more warmth than it had previously.  
  
"Ya ain't gonna soak her?" she turned on one of the other newsies I didn't know and he took a step back. "Spot's ya brother."  
  
"Not that ya deserve an answer." She responded, her eyes meeting Spots. "She ain't fallin in ya lap, I like her already."  
  
She gave me a lazy grin and disappeared into the crowd. I gave Spot a triumphant grin and decided to allow Mush to pull me away. 


	9. A Woman's Greatest Weapon

"What did we tell ya about keeping ya trap shut?" Blink cried in irritation as Mush pulled me into the crowd and away from Spot's ever burning gaze. I could feel his eyes on my back even as I was being lead away. I knew he'd find me later, I had won the first round thanks to Glimmer, but I was sure there would be more to come. I took the glass Mush shoved in my hands and peered into it old habits dying hard. There are not date rape drugs yet I reminded myself; I doubted the boys would even think about it if there were. At least the Manhattan boys, the Brooklyn ones eyed me and I stared boldly back, but I didn't like the gleam in their eyes. I figured though even then they would just wait for the girl to get hammered. The girls didn't look like they would object to being carted off into another room at least those that weren't newsies. There were a few other girls dressed, as I was a handful of us in all. I learned the only other boroughs that had girls were the Queens and Harlem. Mush let me wonder off, Blink keeping a close watch until a seamstress he had a previous acquaintance with pulled him off. Alone I moved through the crowd sipping my ale, which tasted worse than the cheap beer we had drank in high school. I tried not to grimace as I took another sip watching those around me intently. I seemed to be alone, I was surrounded by people, but my own little island. I felt like an outsider looking, I had never really gone to parties in high school, because invariably I got this feeling. That and I usually ended up having to hold my best friends head over the toilet while she puked. I got sick of being the responsible one. At least at the Renaissance Festival I had been around people who spoke my language. We were all misunderstood misfits and we all understood what it was like to be different. I heard the cry go up as a fight began. I rolled my eyes as the crowd streamed in the direction.  
  
No things really didn't change that much I thought as I let the crowd move me along with it. Somehow I ended up pretty close, close enough to see that it was an older boy beating on a younger one. I looked around Spot was nowhere to be seen, Jack off with that twit that looked like Little Beau Peep and tittered like a deranged debutant. She was a girly girl to the core and I had no patience for it. Mush and Blink were heaven only knew where doing, doing heaven only knew what. I didn't even know if they would do something if they were there. Looking around at all the faces I knew I would get no help from the crowd, I didn't even see a Manhattan Newsie I knew. Looking back at the fight I could see the younger boy buckling and sighed knowing it would be up to me to stop it. Call me a sucker, but I wasn't about to let this over grown ape take his aggression out on a kid that looked like he was scared of his own shadow. My expression hardened for a moment and I saw Blink across the crowd his arm around the seamstress. He dropped his arm as he saw the boy. His eyes met mine and he shook his head seeing in my face what I meant to do. I gave him my best devilish grin and took a deep breath schooling my features into what I hoped was a coy look.  
  
"Masks don't fail me now." I muttered as I raised my head and entered the ring that had been formed by the other newsies eager to see the fight.  
  
"A woman's best weapon is her body." I heard my mother's voice in my head " Use it for all it's worth."  
  
"Hey big boy." I said lowering my voice a few octaves. Batting my eyelashes in a way that I hoped didn't make me look like an idiot. The older boy looked at me his face holding that blank look of someone who had been pulled away from something that took concentration. What kind of an idiot needed to concentrate on beating a helpless kid to a bloody pulp. "I saw you fighting and well you just took my breath away."  
  
It was so hard to get those words out; I had to force myself to lay a hand on his arm in a suggestive manner. He looked at me for a moment then he did exactly what I expected him to do. He dropped the kid, who gave me a thankful look through the one eye that wasn't swollen shut. Offer them sex and they'll forget a fight almost every time.  
  
"Yeah sweet cheeks." He said huskily as he turned his sweaty unwashed body toward me. "I'se do that a lot to the girls."  
  
I wanted to gag, I half expected him to kiss his own biceps in self- appreciation. I smiled shamelessly flirting. I forced myself to run my hand up his chest into his hair and pull his head down to mine. He kissed like a dog, all tongue and slobber. Not that I've kissed a dog, but I have pretty good imagination. I fought down the bile that rose to the back of my throat, as I tasted stale cigars and sour ale. I heard the catcalls and the whistles, but I forced myself to concentrate only on what I was about to do. My knee gently rubbed against his inner thigh and just as I expected he parted his legs for what he thought he was going to get. Instead I jammed my knee as hard as I could into his groin. As he was gasping for air and groaning I fisted the hand that was in his hair and slammed it into my knee with a satisfying crunch. He flew back and hit the ground as I shoved him off balance and I gave him a swift kick in the stomach for good measure. I felt the anger I usually kept a tight reign on flooding through me making the adrenaline rush. My blood pumped through my body at an intoxicating speed. I rolled him over and straddled his chest. Not the best move looking back on it. I should have just kept kicking him, but I choose the hard way just as I have always done. As my fist collided with his face I felt my blood singing in my veins. I felt the iron control I had worked so hard over the years snap and I lost myself in my rage. I saw every person I who had ever hurt me and allowed all my anger to be funneled into the boy who lay beneath me. He took a few pretty good hits before he could even think to react. I was stupid though and allowed myself to become so blinded by my rage I didn't see him move his head until it was too late. My fist slammed into the hard wood floor with enough force to break the skin across all my knuckles and cause pain to explode into my hand. A part of me registered an ache that wound it's way up my arm to my shoulder. With a growl he threw me off of him, I flew back, my head connecting painfully with the floor. I saw stars, I could hear him coming, but I couldn't clear my head enough to see the kick that that made me fly back again and knocked the breath from my body. I wanted to writhe in agony, my eyes watered with tears of pain as my lungs worked to get air back in. I managed to roll as he aimed another kick toward my stomach. Shakily I struggled to my feet noticing the silence of the room. It must have been at least a few minutes since my initial attack, but the faces I saw as I stumbled to my feet looked stunned. I ducked as his fist flew toward my face, but I wasn't quick enough and felt it graze off my cheek. From the ache that was a mere sting right now I knew it would bruise. He moved in and I felt arms slide through mine from behind. I panicked expecting as any right-minded person would, that I was being held so the jerk could keep pounding on me. I reacted before he could reach me by pushing myself back against the rock hard chest of my captor and kicking my leg up high enough to catch him in the jaw. His teeth snapped together with audible force and I hoped his tongue had been in between his teeth. My captor was pulling me away from the fight and turning me to keep me from being hurt, but I had thrown him far enough off balance we fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs. The crowd had begun to murmur angrily before my kick and I hoped it wasn't directed at me. I vaguely registered a cry of rage as I saw a heavy shot glass hit the bully square between the eyes. I saw a blur run past me and land a stunning blow before tackling my assailant to the ground. I caught sight of red suspenders and dark blonde hair as I disentangled myself from the person who had pulled me from the fray. Mush glared at me with an anger I had never seen in his soft brown eyes.  
  
"You are mad." He hissed as Glimmer helped me to my feet. He ignored the hand I offered to him to help him up.  
  
"Ya didn't have to prove yaself like that." Glimmer said with reluctant approval. I had a feeling her hands would be clapping out a rhythm of congratulations if she hadn't been so busy checking me over for broken limbs. " Ya did good Kid."  
  
"Kid?" I asked wryly as I did a double take on the man who had come to my rescue. "I'm older than you."  
  
"Yeah, but I've got seniority." She replied grinning at me, I looked in awe at my protector shocked to find it was Spot. My pride was pricked knowing that now I owed him. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was way over my head and I had needed some help, but why of all people did it have to be Spot? He was wailing on the kid though and I knew now why Spots name could make all the newsies nervous.  
  
"You lay a hand on her again and I'll kill ya ." I heard Spot promise in a voice that gave even me a shiver. Spot waited a moment for the words to sink in.  
  
"This was nothing." He continued giving the kid a feral grin. "Get him outta here."  
  
"My pleasure." Jack said stepping from the crowd, Blink at his side.  
  
I didn't watch them go, my attention was already on the kid who had been the cause of all the commotion. He looked all of nine or ten and I felt the anger boiling in me again as I looked him over. He was bruised, and bloody, but it looked like I had intervened before he was really hurt. We passed a red-head who glared at me. I glanced her over, her shirt was buttoned crookedly, her hair was mused, and the rouge on her lips was smeared. From the way she looked at Spot then at me it didn't take any stretch of the imagination what she had gotten called away from. I felt the green monster that calls itself jealousy rear it's ugly head. I swatted the feeling back down and ignored her trying to focus everything I had into the kid.  
  
"Are you okay?" I whispered as Glimmer helped me pick him up. He nodded trying to look brave and not as if his body had just been used for a punching bag. The newsies cleared out of our way and I could hear the mummers beginning as they all began discussing what had just happened. Shame filled me, I hadn't allowed my anger to get that out of control in years. Sure the punk deserved it, but I didn't like loosing control. I didn't like what happened.  
  
"Ya did what ya had to do." Glimmer said over the boy's head as we helped him up onto a long wooden table surrounded by chars. I looked at her startled and she looked back in understanding. What was with me? Ever since I had come here my masks were slipping. I had always been able to keep my thoughts from anyone at anytime. I seemed to be an open book to people I didn't know if I could trust. Trying to ignore my thoughts I pushed one of the chairs out of the way so I could stand in front of the boy. I took the bowl of warm water from a newsie I recognized, but didn't remember a name for and set it on the table next to my patient. I dipped a rag into water and gently dabbed at the cut at the corner of the boy' mouth. Glimmer and I said nothing more as we cleaned him up. Glimmer and the other newsie took him upstairs to bunk room above. He had been a Midtown Newsie, but as far as Glimmer was concerned he was hers now.  
  
"If they can't take care of him then he's ours now." She had said as she had disappeared up the stairs just to my right. I sighed in relief I was really getting sick of the hero worship look. Racetrack watched me from a safe distance away his look not any lighter than Mush's had been when he had pulled me from the fight. I had heard Jack tell him to keep an eye on me until they were done with the Neanderthal I had foolishly attacked.  
  
"The kids gonna sleep now." Glimmer told me as she returned with a fresh bowl of water and a bottle of something that smelled alcoholic. "Now ya need to take care of yaself."  
  
I looked at my bleeding bruised knuckles and hissed as the pain really hit. Why is it that something never hurts until you look at it? Blink rounded the corner, Mush hot on his heels, Jack not far behind all of them with looks of utter fury.  
  
"Out of the pan inta the fire." I heard Glimmer mummer as she caught sight of them. I gave her a wan look and sat waiting knowing I was going to get yelled at. I tried to ignore them by tending to my fist. I had bruises all over my body, my head ached dreadfully, and my ribs were protesting to every breath I took. I figured I had been given enough of a lesson. They waited for a moment expecting me to acknowledge them. I continued on as if they weren't in the room hoping they'd go away. No such luck.  
  
"What the hell did ya think ya was doin?" Mush cried, he surprised me at the venom I heard in his voice. Mush was sweet, naïve and even tempered, but he looked ready to explode.  
  
"Kicking butt." I replied nonchalantly as I crossed a leg over the other and gave them a look that told them I didn't really care what they thought.  
  
"Ya coulda gotten yaself killed." Blink snapped "Ox isn't known for goin easy on anyone."  
  
"Ox that sounds about right." Was my response as I looked up at Glimmer who nodded and grinned her eyes glittering with a mischievous look. I had found an ally for the moment at least.  
  
"This isn't a joke Cameo." Jack growled. " Ya coulda gotten yaself really hurt, ya lucky Spot bailed ya out."  
  
"You think I didn't know going into that fight that it was loosing battle?" I asked my anger still too close to the surface for me to care that it probably would be best for me not to open my mouth at that moment. "You think I didn't know that I wasn't going to get my ass kicked? I'm may not act like most females you know, I may act a little too manly for your tastes sometimes, but I know that men are stronger than women. I know that unless the "mama grizzly" effect comes into play that men have predisposition to violence that women don't generally have. I know physically I was no match for that guy, but what was I supposed to do let him kill that kid?"  
  
"Let a man handle it." Blink told me bluntly, I stiffened even though I knew I should have done what he had said. I just hadn't been sure any of them would have handled it. I hadn't been born into a time of femi-nazi's without some of it rubbing off on me. My father had raised me to know a woman's limitations. Not that he was a chauvinistic pig, it's just that when it comes to a fistfight men generally have upper arm strength and a blood thirst that we women don't. Unless you're talking about a woman's children, then the "mama grizzly" effect comes in. Mother Grizzly bears are more dangerous than the males if they feel their offspring are being threatened. If a woman's family is being threatened then beware, they would die if they thought it would give their loved ones a chance. The stakes change when someone is ready to die in a fight. A woman's greatest weapon is her body, my mother had often told me, her second greatest was her mind. Testosterone can make a man forget all rationality.  
  
"Yeah, you looked like you were really going to handle it Blink." I retorted. He seemed to puff up more in anger. "I may not be as strong as any of you, but obviously I must be smarter, because only an idiot would have missed the fact that that kid was going to die if something wasn't done."  
  
"Women are always smarter." Glimmer chuckled as she took over cleaning my hand. "Men may have the brawn, but we got the brains."  
  
I gasped in pain as she poured some of what I now knew to be whisky on my hand. There is nothing that burns more on an open wound than alcohol.  
  
"Get a skirt." Jack snapped. Glimmer glared and raised her fists challengingly.  
  
"I soaked ya when we was kids and I'll do it again Jack," she the caution in her voice would have taken a fool to mistake. He didn't look too impressed.  
  
"Ya think ya could do it now?" He challenged, not willing to be cowed at a threat he had obviously often heard since the incident in question. "An you haven't grown all that much. I could hold ya down with one hand."  
  
Glimmer glared at him, but I could see she was weighing her options. She was a petite girl and if he wanted to I had no doubt Jack could do as he said. Finally she settled for shooting him poisonous looks and cleaning my hand.  
  
"Ya would be in for a fight." She muttered.  
  
"I bet I would." Jack told her seriously, he meant it, he knew she would place some well aimed blows that would hurt. They were both willing to call a momentary truce though as neither of them looked ready to fight.  
  
"Ox would have wiped the floor with ya." He continued turning on me.  
  
"But did he?" I asked "What's the matter Jack am I challenging your masculinity because I took care of it myself instead of running to you like a frightened child. You weren't there I took care of it. I'm not a child Jack, I'm a big girl who can obviously take care of myself."  
  
"Amen to that." Glimmer replied slapping me on the back. "We ain't Sarah, we ain't gonna sit in the corner and scream when someone comes along that might hurt us."  
  
"Don't look to me like you was takin care of yaself so well." Mush said. "If ya had been we wouldn't have had to step in."  
  
"Ya acted like a hussy." I hadn't noticed Spot until he spoke, breaking into the conversation like he owned it. He was leaning against the wall watching us with an unreadable expression. His eyes glittered in anger, I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. His word stung, I had never been called such a name seriously before. I raised my chin in defiance. I felt Glimmer stiffen as her brother pushed himself from the wall and joined the group of angry boys that were still glaring daggers at me.  
  
"You're one to talk." I snapped " I seem to remember a floozy hot on your heels and there wasn't doubt to anyone as to what you'd been doing."  
  
"Who ya callin a floozy?" I almost laughed at the girl, her shirt was still buttoned crooked, her make-up not in any better repair, her shoulder peeking through the collar of her shirt. Her face was set in an angry scowl and I knew I would have no choice other than to put her in her place or there would be another fight. I was pretty sure my knuckles were out of service, so I 'd have to rely on intimidation.  
  
"Ah the lost puppy." I sighed dramatically; I couldn't stop myself from getting a little dig in before I put her in her place. " What didn't get enough of old Spotty boy the first time? I'm not surprised..."  
  
I trailed off and looked him up and down giving her a significant look. Spot's face looked like a storm ready to break as he caught my meaning. I wanted to smack myself in the forehead at my stupidity. Once I got started though often I attacked anyone who opened their mouth in argument to me. There are a few things you can do when faced with an angry male and insulting his manhood usually isn't the best bet. Glimmer put a hand on my shoulder in warning letting me know without words that there was only so far I could insult her brother before she would feel obligated to step in.  
  
"I otta.." the girl trailed off as I stood swiftly and looked at her warningly. I knew I moved much like Glimmer had earlier, predator to prey. I felt the look come over my face that I had worked so hard to keep down. I had a temper, one that I was not proud of. I had done things in the past I was not proud of because of that temper.  
  
"You want me to shut you up I will." I advised, she shivered and took a step back hiding behind Spot as if he would protect her, which by looking at his face I knew he didn't care enough to.  
  
"It's vulgar for a woman to be fighting." A new voice chimed in. I hadn't seen Bo Peep enter, Glimmer snorted in disgust as I sighed in irritation. Bo Peep looked at me disdainfully, her eyes turned up at Jack as if she expected him to congratulate her. She couldn't see Jacks irritated look at her words, but I could.  
  
"Shut up." I rounded on her. " Women are not mean to be some parrot to recite stupid propaganda set out by the male race to keep us under control. You have a brain use it."  
  
I could see it was useless trying to teach her what a real woman was, so I settled for mocking her.  
  
"A lady ought never raise her voice above the gentle hum of a whispering wind." I said in a falsely sweet tone batting my eyes comically. Jack rolled his eyes having a hard time keeping up his glare. I knew I was breaking through the ice that seemed to have covered all of these boys. Mush snickered and Blink turned away so I wouldn't see his smile. She just looked at Jack expecting him to put me in my place, she seemed to get flustered when Jack didn't. The only one who was not amused was Spot who's face held a frighteningly emotionless look. He watched me for a moment longer then turned on his heel and walked away, the red-head flounced off after him. Shooting me a triumphant look as she went, I watched her catch up to him. She put a hand on his shoulder that he shrugged off. I felt a moment's elation that I quickly beat down. What was wrong with me? I couldn't even begin to like the arrogant Brooklyn leader. I refused to let myself, I knew what kind of guy he was. Handsome and devastatingly charming when he chose to be, I had no doubt. I hadn't seen the charming side yet, but I was sure it was there. He was a ladies man, a cad, a man who enjoyed seducing women for the shear challenge of it. I wasn't about to let myself be schmoozed.  
  
"You are going home." Blink said grabbing my arm. I was tired, too tired to object as he dragged me toward the front door of the Lodging House.  
  
"See ya around Cameo." I heard Glimmer call, I looked back and waved at her, I knew I had at least made a friend in her tonight. I may have caused World War III to do it, well actually I guess it would be World War I since the first two hadn't happened yet. David was arriving as we were leaving and Jack thrust Bo Peep, into his arms.  
  
"Take Sarah home Davy." Jack told him, "I've got business to attend to."  
  
David looked at Blink and Mush who had attached himself to my other side and nodded.  
  
"That's not fair." Sarah cried. " She stupidly almost gets herself killed and it ruins our night."  
  
"Look sorry," Jack said spreading his hands in the universal gesture of helplessness. I knew he was looking for a way to get rid of her. I could tell from David's look that he knew. He wasn't very happy about it, but he understood. " I gotta deal with this."  
  
Sarah pouted and I smiled sweetly at her wondering how she had ever caught Jacks attention. She didn't seem like the type of girl he needed at all. She glared at me her expression a mixture of irritation and disgust. I didn't get to antagonize her more because I was roughly pulled out the door of the Brooklyn Lodging House. We were silent the first couple of blocks until finally I could take it no longer.  
  
"So why are you with the milk-sop?" I asked expecting to get a retort.  
  
"Because I didn't know she was a milk-sop." Jack replied tiredly. " During the strike I saw a fire in her that burned out too quickly, ya know?"  
  
I nodded and let the matter drop, I'd give Sarah maybe another week. Blink pulled me up as I stumbled and I yelped in pain.  
  
"Careful." I snapped "I'm a patchwork quilt of bruises."  
  
"Ya fault not mine." Blink muttered, but he loosened his grip.  
  
"Look," I growled stopping and effectively attracting their undivided attention. "I'm sorry I never meant for you to get involved. I thought he would stop after the groin shot and the knee in the face. I thought I would stop there, but I couldn't let him keep hurting that boy."  
  
"Ya heart is too soft." Mush said giving me the first smile since we had left the Manhattan Lodging House.  
  
"Well if I'm too soft then you have a lump of ice for a heart." I sighed.  
  
"Someone would've stopped it." Jack told me and I shook my head knowing in my heart someone would have made an attempt when it was too late and then berated themselves for not acting sooner. Most of the boys in Manhattan had soft hearts they had learned to hide behind tough exteriors. Soft hearted meant they were weak, weak meant an easy target.  
  
"You were brave." Mush said for my ears only as we climbed the steps of our Lodging House. I smiled at him gratefully, trying not to wince in pain as we climbed up the stairs.  
  
"How was the shin dig?" Crutchy asked from where he sat reading by the light of a small kerosene lamp.  
  
"Don't ask." Jack sighed.  
  
"Where did ya get the bruise?" Crutch's voice was alarmed as he caught sight of my face.  
  
"She jumped into a fight Ox was having with a younger kid." Jack said giving Crutchy a pained look. "Spot broke it up."  
  
"More like pummeled the poor kid's face in." Blink added " I ain't never seen him that mad and I've seen him get into some pretty good fights."  
  
I tried not to look too deeply into that comment as Crutchy just frowned thoughtfully.  
  
"Crutchy I need to go to sleep." I sighed smiling at him and waving as I headed for bed, too tired to talk, too tired to even think.  
  
"'Night Cameo." He called giving me an understanding look "We'll talk tomorrow."  
  
"I promise." I said as I opened my door.  
  
Mimic lay curled up in my bed the shirt I had worn earlier tightly clutched in his small hands. I smiled; I took my shoes off and lay down next to him, too tired to undress. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.  
  
  
  
Thank you for the all the reviews from the last chapter. I'm sorry to anyone who I didn't personally thank, but consider yourself, personally thanked as of now.  
  
JP: I hope you love it. I know I let you read a few lines here and there, but I don't think I ruined if for you. Tell me how you like it. E-mail me the first chapter to your book again. for some reason it won't let me read it.  
  
Falco: I expect my waffles, and you don't get anymore pixi stix until I get more story.  
  
Chelci: Here you go, more.. Well... you!  
  
Spider Chick: Thank you for your review. Here's the next chapter you requested.  
  
Jessica: Thank you as well.  
  
Cards: Thank you for you review on the last chapter. I missed your review. 


	10. Found Out

I woke the next morning to Kloppman's wake up call. Otherwise known as pounding on my door, I groaned and rolled over trying not to squash Mimic as I did. He was still asleep, I had a feeling that a nuke could be dropped on his head and he wouldn't notice. Wait I doubt any of us would have the time to notice. Bad analogy, but I'm sure by now you get the point so I'll stop.  
  
"Mimic," I said softly shaking him. "Mimic."  
  
He rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head. I caught the smile on his lips before he did telling me he was awake, and just being ornery.  
  
"Mimic, you get your butt up right now or you're going to get wet, very wet." I threatened. He just muffled a giggle and didn't move. He didn't believe me, well then I was going to have to show him I meant what I said. It was too warm yet to need the extra blanket provided to me, so I grabbed it from where it lay across the foot of my bed. The boys watched me warily as I limped into the washroom trying not to hiss in pain at my bruised and stiff muscles. I felt like someone had beaten me with a rolling pin, a marble rolling pin at that.  
  
"Damn it Jack." I heard Skittery yell as he stepped from the stalls against the wall with next to nothing on I am assuming. I didn't even look up as I shuffled to the sink and grabbed a tin cup and filled it with water. "she ain't allowed in here."  
  
"No one stated any rules saying I couldn't come in here." I responded groggily noting his lack of dress and smiling ruefully. He blushed even though he had a towel wrapped around all the important parts.  
  
"If ya wanna use the washroom ya gotta do it before or after we do." Jack grumbled sleepily batting off Mush's punches in their morning ritual.  
  
"Funny, you weren't too worried about it when you all came charging up here yesterday to catch a peep at me." I replied.  
  
"That's different," Mush cried as he grabbed the soap from the shelf above the sink.  
  
"How?" I asked turning in the doorway of the washroom.  
  
"It just is." Blink growled as he slammed the door shut. I shrugged too tired and sore to do much other than take the tin cup, pull the pillow away from Mimic and splash it in his face.  
  
"Cameo." He spluttered as he came flying up. I couldn't help laughing at his scowl. His usual curls flattened by the water that was now streaming into his face from his thick hair.  
  
"Mimic, get ready." I responded in a tone that mocked his, he glared at me and scrambled off to do as I told him. I slammed my door shut and set about changing into my only clean set of clothes left. I moved slowly trying as best I could to stretch out the muscles that were currently on strike.  
  
"Cameo." I heard Jack's voice through the door as I finished fastening my pants and tucking in my shirt. "Ya decent?"  
  
"Yeah." I sighed. Were the hell had my hat gotten off to this time? I braided my hair as I looked for it and heard the door creak open.  
  
"Maybe you should stay here today." He said looking me up and down "Ya took a good beatin yesterday."  
  
"Would you stay here?" I snapped when he shook his head I continued "Would you let any of the others stay?"  
  
"No," He replied reluctantly knowing what I was going to say next. I had never once asked for special treatment, I didn't want special treatment. I asked that I be treated the same as anyone else and I tried to carry my share  
  
"Then why are you telling me to stay?" I asked the irritation in my voice rising as I couldn't find my hat.  
  
"Oh never mind." Jack growled as he turned way.  
  
"Jack I appreciate your concern, but if I was stupid enough to get myself beaten up last night I shouldn't be allowed extra privileges." I sighed hating the irritated look on his face. I hadn't meant to start an argument this early in the morning. He nodded and headed to his bunk for his hat. I watched him for a moment and shrugged, well, I had tried to smooth things over. Mimic bounced over wearing my hat, I gave a tired chuckle and pulled it down over his eyes. He giggled as I tickled him, squirming and pushing my hat from his head. I scooped it up and followed the boys who were streaming out the door. I didn't pay much attention as I let Mimic lead the way to the distribution center. What I wouldn't give for a latte or mocha instead of the black coffee without sugar or milk that sat in my stomach like battery acid.  
  
"How ya feelin?" Mush asked as he took the money I handed him for my share of the papers. "Ya look like hell."  
  
"Thanks." I said wryly, Crutchy smiled at me and I gave him a wan smile in return. "I feel fine."  
  
"I'll talk to you at lunch." Crutchy said as he started off in the direction of his selling spot. I didn't respond, I didn't need to, he knew I would be there. I followed Mush and Blink who were both talking animatedly with Race about the fight. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to think about it, though with every step I remembered. Mush was making me sound like some sappy heroine. I rolled my eyes and smiled as I watched Mimic, well, mimic me. My day passed as others had before it, I sold my papers, giving some to Mush since I wasn't feeling up my usual par. He looked at me worriedly when I handed them to him, but he split them between Mimic and Blink. Crutchy had our usual booth at Tibby's saved and I sat down grateful to be off my feet. I listened as they talked answering when I had to. Lunch ended and I wasn't ready to get up.  
  
"Cameo, why don't ya stay here for a little while with me." Crutchy said as Mush and Blink stood. "My leg's hurtin a little and I think I want to rest it a little longer."  
  
"Okay." I said fingering the gold ID bracelet that had been my mothers. Vivian Maria Giovanni, it had been a present from her father for her sixteenth birthday. I smiled softly as I remembered fingering it on her wrist as she told me stories or sang to me. Her soft brown hair brushing my arm, the smell of her lavender soap filled my nose and I could almost picture her there beside me. I could almost hear her singing, her beautiful voice rich and golden like harp. My mother had never taken the bracelet off until the day she died, she placed it in my hand and told me she loved me.  
  
"Briar are you okay?" I heard Crutchy say. I pulled myself from my thoughts and gave him my attention. I was thankful he had, I didn't want to remember that day. My father had told me once in one of our arguments that I had died that day with her. The only thing that seemed to have brought life into me was the Renaissance Festival and he couldn't begin to understand that.  
  
"I'm fine." I said shakily blinking back the tears from my eyes. It had been five years long past the time to get over it and move on. She wouldn't want me to continue to mourn her, she would want me to live. Unfortunately until I came here I hadn't felt alive, the Renaissance Festival was like a momentary fix. It lasted for a eight weekends then it was over taking with it one of the few joys in my life.  
  
"Who was Vivian?" He asked glancing at the bracelet I fiddled with.  
  
"My mother." I whispered as I fought to get myself under control. Crutchy smiled sympathetically I let him take my wrist and look at the bracelet, my mind still wandering.  
  
"Briar Rose Fitgerald, that's you?" Crutchy looked up at me, I nodded listlessly.  
  
"I named you Briar Rose because when the doctor put you into my arms for the first time you stopped crying and looked at me. You had such beautiful eyes and such black hair you reminded me of a picture I had seen in a fairy tale book I had owned as a child. There was the most beautiful picture of her in her cradle and you looked just like her." I heard her whisper in my mind just as she had so many times when I was a small child. Only a mother would look at a newborn and find her incredibly beautiful. She had given me a soft feminine name, but had raised me to be a strong woman. We had a bond unlike most mother's and daughters. We never went through that bickering stage. She had understood me unlike anyone else I had ever known. Unlike anyone ever would I doubted. She had been wonderful. A woman who was ready to go backpacking in the wilderness for a week or attend a high class dinner party and pull it off with class. She had been one of a kind and I had loved her so very much.  
  
"What are the dates for?" Crutchy asked his voice sounding confused. I wasn't paying attention my mind was still in the past so I answered him truthfully.  
  
"Her birth and death date, my birth date." I told him.  
  
"That's not possible." Crutchy cried. I felt fear slam into me as I realized what I had done , my guts churned, my adrenaline pumping. "The jeweler must have bungled, it says June 28, 1961."  
  
I reached for my masks trying to shrug it off and look shocked, but I could see by his look he didn't buy it. I wasn't quick enough, I could see him struggle with the idea, ready to toss it into the recesses of his mind, because it couldn't be possible, could it? Accepting things was Crutchy's gift and it took him only a moment before he turned to me.  
  
"Tell me the truth Briar." He said softly with a tone that I had never heard. It was stern, it told me he would weed out the truth whether I liked it or not. I panicked I tried to get up from the booth, but Crutchy's leaned across the table and grabbed me first. His hands gripped my arms in a steely grip that shocked me. This wasn't the goofy Cruchy I knew, this was a man, a man with a gaze that saw right through you. So many of the newsies were boys on the brink of manhood, but to see the man in them sometimes made you do a double take. "Ya lie to me and I'm going to question our friendship. I have been honest with you now you be honest with me. The jeweler didn't ruin this did he?"  
  
I shook my head unable to do anything else. He took that in for a moment then nodded a look of disbelief still in his eyes.  
  
"What year were ya born?"  
  
"1983." I whispered compelled to answer truthfully by his force of will. I wanted to lie I tried to lie. I felt the words come to my lips and die there. I couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to him; it bothered me I had always been able to lie on a moments notice. It had become a self- preservation mechanism, a way to keep people from coming too close, to know the real me.  
  
"I don't know whether to believe you or send you packing for the crazy house." He told me releasing my arms and sitting back. "Though it would explain why ya so odd."  
  
We looked at each other for a few minutes, Crutchy gazing into my eyes searching for the truth, me not sure of what to do. He glanced around and saw the other patrons of Tibby's odd looks, sighing he stood and threw a few coins down on the table.  
  
"Let's get outta here." He said starting off as he expected me to follow him. Follow him I did, I didn't have anywhere else to go. My mind raced with a way to make him believe that it was a mistake that I had been born here. I knew that he would see the lie in my eyes. I found myself in following him up the steps of the lodging house and into the bunkroom. Kloppman never noticed we had come back. He sat with difficult then gestured for me to sit with him.  
  
"So ya from the future," he said, he still didn't quite believe it, but as I sat he continued.  
  
"Yes." I whispered simply not elaborating, but at least answering.  
  
"How did ya get here?" he questioned, his face telling me what he was thinking. This should be good was what was going through his mind. If it wasn't for the bond we had formed since I had come here I was sure he would have written me off as loony right now. It was only our friendship that kept him from walking away.  
  
"A gypsy gave me an amulet." I replied softly clutching the offending piece of jewelry. "Then I don't know. I woke up here."  
  
"Ya woke up here?" he repeated making it a question instead of a statement. I nodded mutely unable to say anything else. Unwilling to hope he would understand, I sighed. I could tell by his eyes he wanted to believe me as my friend he wanted to believe anything I told him.  
  
" How do you think I felt? I woke up here with no knowledge of how I got here. I didn't want to come here and I don't know how to get home." He looked out the window his eyes unfocusing a bit as he did. I waited not knowing what else to do. Finally he just nodded his eyes betrayed his disbelief.  
  
"Alright, I guess I've read harder to believe stories in the World." He said gently. I wished there was some way I could prove it to him. "So what's the future like?"  
  
"You wouldn't like it." I whispered looking away. " A cold place where I do means a year if you're lucky. Where children grow up with parents who marry over and over leaving them lost and confused. Where evil people murder thousands in one foul swoop. Love is dying, happiness is fading, honesty is over rated, and integrity is a thing of the past. Where there are damn few happily ever afters, those that are lucky enough for one usually take it for granted and loose it all. "  
  
" All people can't be that way." Crutchy cried, he had looked at me hopefully.  
  
"No not all are, but those people are becoming a dying breed. We will have comforts that are unimaginable to you, but socially loose so much of what is important." I replied bitterly. "Sometimes I wonder what we all are living for."  
  
"For a chance, a way to find what we want most in our hearts." Crutchy told me with shining eyes that brought hope even into my cynical heart. " We keep hoping that one day the good will bring down the evil."  
  
"Humanity has been fighting itself for centuries, it isn't going to stop in the future." I said as I stood. " I think we both need to think about things." Crutchy nodded and turned toward his bunk to lie down. There wasn't enough time to sell any more papers so I went out onto the fire escape to watch the city below. The day grew later and the boys made their way home, the bunkroom rang with their enthusiasm for life. They looked out at me curiously from time to time, but my expression must have kept them at bay because they never ventured out. I stayed there until the sun had set and the moon was beginning to make its decline down the sky.  
  
"Jack how did you find Briar?" Crutchy's voice floated on the wind toward me. I tuned in wondering if Jack would give him information that would prove my outrageous statements.  
  
"I don't know Snipeshooter stumbled over her. One minute she wasn't there the next she was. We all thought she glowin or somthin, thought maybe she was a ghost. Then it went away, must have been some trick of the street lamp." Jack told from my spot I could see him run a hand through is hair.  
  
"Jack there ain't no streetlamps in the alley way next to Meddas." Crutchy said his voice excited.  
  
"I don't know we must have been seein things." Jack said throwing his cards at Race as he folded.  
  
"I don't know the other night on the way to Brooklyn she did some odd glowing thing." Mush said as he threw a few coins into the pile. "Scared the hell out of us."  
  
I watched as that sunk into Crutchy's mind and the other boys shrugged it off. They returned to their game and Crutchy just thought. Eventually they went to bed, I sat there for a few minutes after lights out then I made my way to my own bed, Mimic asleep there already. I prayed that Crutchy wouldn't treat me any differently as I drifted off to sleep, I prayed that he would accept me as he had all along. I prayed it wouldn't ruin our friendship, I hoped he'd keep this to himself.  
  
JP: THANK YOU for putting up with me until 3 in the morning and helping me with this chapter. Sorry if I've been keeping you up late. Thanks again I hope you enjoy.  
  
Falco: You are the greatest thank you for your reviews! I'm glad you like my story and relate to my characters! Can't wait for your next review.  
  
Chleci: Let me know if Glimmer isn't doing what she should. I'm trying to write her as I saw her from the info you sent me. I want to keep you happy so let me know if I'm doing okay. I'm glad you liked it. I know that part was an Ever After quote ( I don't own Ever After either don't sue.) It just seemed so right. Thank you for all your reviews!  
  
Morning Dew: I'm glad you have liked it so far let me know what you think of the other chapters!  
  
Ali: I'm glad you like it. I have really tried to stay away from the usual in this fic. I wanted something a little different and something you could actually relate to. I hope I am succeeding. Thank you for your review.  
  
Jessica: Thank you as well (I'm beginning to feel like I'm writing in peoples year books. You eventually write the same thing to them all. Sorry trying to refrain.) I hope you like this next chapter as well. 


	11. Confrontations Galore

After my encounter with Crutchy I pushed everyone away. I began leaving before they got up and getting home after they were in bed. I wondered the streets, not a very healthy habit I know, but I had a feeling the newsies weren't leaving me unprotected. If they were then I hoped I would be able to get free of any attacker. No one bothered me though, I kept my hat pulled low over my hair and practiced my best male swagger. Kloppman was usually awake when I got home, he never said a word, he just locked the door after me and headed to bed. I threw myself into selling and started skipping lunch at Tibby's. Mimic followed me my constant shadow, he kept quiet attempting occasionally to make me smile. I tried for him, I was in a funk and I couldn't shake it. I had hoped my past or rather the future would go unnoticed until I could find a way for me to go home, but I hadn't been so lucky. Now the best friend I had had in a while thought I was crazy. I hated those looks, the ones that told me they weren't sure whether to be afraid or to roll their eyes. I wondered if Crutchy had told them, I hadn't said anything to him about keeping it to himself. Finally one morning Blink, Mush, and Crutchy cornered me as I tried to sneak out the door before anyone woke. Mush was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, Blink on the counter and Crutchy leaning back in a chair. Mimic followed me down and I cursed at myself for not using the fire escape, as I had been tempted to. I turned to tell Mimic to head back up and almost ran into Jack.  
  
"What's wrong with you Cameo?" Crutchy asked as I backed down the stairs knowing they had trapped me.  
  
"What do you mean what's wrong?" Damn it I sounded shaky. I struggled for the control I knew was fraying as rapidly as a rope in an action movie. Damn it , damn it, damn it.  
  
"Ya been avoidin us all week what's got ya spooked?" Mush said, as I looked around at them. I felt like I was back in high school and had just been cornered by the jocks.  
  
"I'm not avoiding you, I've just been busy." I stammered hating the way I seemed to have lost my cool. I tried to dredge up the anger that I had used for a shield for so long and couldn't.  
  
"Busy, so busy one of us gots to follow you at night?" Blink questioned raising the eyebrow above his good eye. "And ya ain't doin nothing, but walking."  
  
I looked at Crutchy who just looked back with a calm demeanor. He knew what was wrong I could see it in his eyes. He hadn't' told anyone, at least for that I would be eternally grateful.  
  
Not that he believed any of it, he had probably kept it to himself because he was afraid they would lock me up. I thought bitterly. I was going to have to find a way home soon, at least there I my friends thought I was eccentric rather than wacky. They all looked at me waiting for some kind of response, Mimic put his hand in mine a comforting gesture, I must have looked like a cat backed into a corner. I squeezed it and let go, my hands clenching and unclenching into fists as I watched each of them for a moment. There was no way out. Jack stood on the stairs, Mush sat just below him, Blink was on the counter too close to the door for me to reach it first, and Crutchy sat next to the window. I wanted to scream, the last thing I wanted was to talk about the hopeless feeling that was filling me more and more each day. I hadn't felt like this since I had come here. I felt hot anger burst up and I welcomed it, my face smoothed taking on what Morai had named the porcelain doll look. My face often would become smooth and take on the calmness of a china doll when I didn't want my emotions to show. She said I got that look only for the few minutes it took pull up the emotions I wanted to show.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." I growled relieved to finally be able to get a handle on the situation. I saw Crutch look away a defeated look on his face we both knew they almost had me. He had almost been able to peel away all the layers I had almost broken down. I had a feeling that this confrontation had been a way for him to try to get me to tell the "Truth". Mush brightened seeing it for what he wanted to see it as, I was pulling out of my self imposed solitude.  
  
"So ya sellin with us today?" Blink asked holding a look of relief himself. Jack watched me intently, Crutchy not even looking at me, the taste of defeat still a bitter taste in his mouth. I looked back at Jack boldly silently challenging him to try to get more out of me. He returned my gaze his look promising me he would find out whatever this had been about. I shivered fear settling in the pit of my stomach. If Crutchy's reaction was anything to go by I hoped Jack never found out. I had removed my bracelet and hidden it under a loose board in the floor of my room. I had replaced it careful to make sure it looked like it had never been moved. Just to be safe though I moved the bed over it. I had checked carefully making sure that there were no other clues left about my person.  
  
"Sure." I replied nonchalantly still looking into Jacks eyes. He turned away and started up the stairs the promise still in his eyes. Blink fell into step beside me as I started for the door. Mush trailed behind saying something to Mimic who skipped happily. Now that I seemed to be getting beyond what ever had been upsetting me he was happy. I didn't like how the kids emotions seemed to hang on me.  
  
"Did you hear about the about the carnival they's having down in Central Park in a few days?" Mush asked as we neared the distribution center  
  
"No," I replied absently digging into my pockets for the change he needed for my share of the papers. Mush and Mimic got in line next to Skittery while Blink lit a cigarette and I leaned against the gateway.  
  
"Give me one of those." I said holding my hand out for a cigarette.  
  
"Girls don't smoke." Blink responded taking a long drag, making no move to hand me one. "It ain't ladylike."  
  
"I'm not like most girls, I haven't tried to be ladylike, now give it." I demanded irritated, I had watched these boys smoking and hadn't once given into the temptation. I had quit nearly a year ago, but I needed one, the stress of the past few days had been wearing on me.  
  
"Ya ain't never smoked before." Blink told me taking another long drag and blowing it in my face.  
  
"Damn it Blink" I warned "Give me a damn smoke."  
  
He chuckled around the cigarette held between his lips as he reached into his pocket and produced one. I held it between two of my fingers as he lit a match and held it up for me to light my prize. I gave a few puffs to get it started then took a long drag. I'm sure I looked like a man who had been in the desert without water for days and had stumbled upon an oasis. I took another drag, my head leaning back against the wall, my eyes closed in pleasure as the cigarette began working its calming effect.  
  
"Don't you know woman do not smoke?" I heard a prim voice ask, my eyes flew open and I found myself face to face with Sarah, her nose wrinkled in disgust.  
  
"How are you doing Bo Peep looking for your lost little lamb?" I sneered, she glared at me and I smiled. I took an especially long drag and blew it in her face. She waved her hand about and coughed. Even her coughs were prim little gestures hidden behind a handkerchief. If this was an example of femininity in this time I was glad I had been raised in the future. I saw Jack turning from the distribution center office and stop dead when he saw Sarah shielding her hand from the early morning light and looking for him. Quickly he hid behind the wagon that carried the papers.  
  
"Ya ain't gonna find him." I said in my best imitation of the boys accents. "He's hidin from ya."  
  
I could still see Jack from where I was, he glared at me as my words floated across the courtyard to him.  
  
"That's ridiculous, he's just been busy." She cried dropping her hand and turning to me. "Take it back."  
  
"Not on your life cupcake." I laughed, her face turned an incredible shade of red when she got angry I found. "He loves me I know he does and no one will take him away from me, not an ignorant little hussy like you, not anyone." She told me her voice rising with every word. "He's mine and no one can have him."  
  
I tried not to laugh at her rant and was not entirely successful. I didn't expect her to raise her hand and slap me hard enough to whip my head around. I didn't feel the sting on my still bruised cheek I saw red. I backhanded her with enough force she fell back hitting the other side of the gateway before sliding down. I wasn't much for cat fighting, but I couldn't bring myself to punch the ninny.  
  
"You worthless slut." She cried, now there are many names I can take, but slut is my weakness. Maybe it was because I had never been the type, or maybe it had to do with the times my father had told me I looked like one. Or my stepmother had forced me to tell her I looked like one before allowing me to change. I usually just through a shirt over whatever I was wearing until I was out of sight just to spite her. It was a sore spot that always brought a reaction. I never reached her though, strong arms wrapped around my waist locking, struggling was useless though I tried for all I was worth.  
  
"Get out of here." Jack cried pushing Sarah along, she watched me with a look of intense hatred.  
  
"Just cut him loose you lying witch." I yelled as Jack and David pulled her off. "You don't want him, you just don't want anyone else to either."  
  
Her face turned redder as she glared at me, but she didn't dispute it. It hadn't been a shot in the dark. Call it intuition or what ever, but often I saw things as they were. Often I could see to the bottom of things as people never expected. I had watched her a little a few nights ago as I was wondering what Jack had seen in her. I watched her look at him adoringly and I knew there was something off about it. She her action tugged at me irritating me. I had asked Glimmer a little about it before the boys had come storming into dress me down for my behavior, she didn't get Sarah at all, but I had started to realize what was going on in that bonneted head of hers. The one time I had come home earlier than lights out this week I had found her in the common room sitting on Kloppman's counter tittering as the boys lavished her with attention. From what I had seen and what I had heard it hadn't taken any imagination to realize Sarah was a Scarlet O'Hara. A girl who had this need to be wanted by every male within a 20-mile radius, a girl who based her whole self worth upon whether or not the male population swooned when she entered the room. I didn't see Jack as the swooning type so I would have bet money on the fact she had seen him as a challenge. She wanted to see if she could wrap him around her finger like all the other men, I had seen her smile in a flirting manner at any number of boys since, when she thought Jack wasn't looking. I saw Jack's look of surprise and the flash of hurt. He may not have loved her, but he had cared and to hear that she never did was a hit to his ego.  
  
"Go ahead tell him what a wonderful little actress you are." I snapped still struggling to get free and having to take a breath between each word as my ribs hit up against an iron grip. "Tell him about how you were tugging him along on a rope like those little ducks children play with. Tell him how he was a challenge a way to see if you could wrap a real man around your finger. Something a little more challenging than those good little boys your father and mother introduce you to knowing Jack is just a phase you will grow out of. "  
  
She spit at me and I felt my captors arms tighten as David grabbed her arm and roughly hauled her away. He gave me a look I couldn't comprehend and Jack just leaned against the wall his eyes far away. I stopped struggling, but didn't turn to see who was holding me. Instead my eyes were focused on the cigarette that had fallen from my hand and was lying broken on the pavement. I wondered if there was enough left to relight. Then it hit me I had been striking out at Sarah, but I never thought about what kind of an effect my words might have had on Jack.  
  
"Jack?" I asked softly I could hear the apology in my voice. I felt bad, I really did as I looked at him, he looked like someone had popped him. I knew I had given his ego a tough blow to make matters worse it had been in front of all the boys who looked up to him. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's alright." He said reacting as I had earlier, his face going emotionless for a moment then a smirk coming to his face. " It wasn't as if I really cared anyway."  
  
Mush patted him on the back and I finally turned to see who had held me from pulverizing poor defenseless Sarah. I turned in his arms instead of swinging my head around expecting Blink. He had been the closest when Sarah had started in on me.  
  
"You!" I scowled at my captor who was giving me that arrogant grin that was legendary. His eyes glittered as he looked into mine, his lips only a breath away from my own. " Don't you have Brooklyn to run? Can't you stay on your own side of the fence?"  
  
"I like 'em feisty." He said grinning suggestively at me. I squirmed, but it only made him tighten his grip and bring me more firmly against him.  
  
"Oh gag me with a pitchfork." I replied. "Can't you come up with anything more original?"  
  
"Ya know ya want me." He whispered his lips were so close I could practically feel the words as they left his mouth.  
  
"Like hell I do." I whispered as I fought myself. "That isn't very original either where'd you get it from the DeLanceys?"  
  
I heard the boy's gasps of surprise; referring to anyone, as a DeLancey was highly insulting I had learned. I knew the anger that would flash through him, but I wanted out of his grip before it was too late. He smirked his eyes telling me he knew exactly what I was doing. My body was betraying me as I kept the urge to move the last few centimeters and close my eyes in surrender at bay. I felt my eyelids flutter, I felt my body softening and forming to his body as if I were made to be there. I felt the pulling toward him unlike anything I had ever felt, it was as if I had no choice and my heart was taking over my body. I wanted him all right, I wanted him like I had never wanted anyone and it frightened me. I'm not talking about sex though the feelings were definitely there too. No I wanted to trust him, to fall into those baby blues and never come back. I wanted to give him everything. There was a connection there I couldn't deny and one he was fully willing to exploit I was sure. I was knew I wasn't the first girl who had wanted to give everything and to want everything in return either, probably not the last, but I wouldn't let myself become another notch on his bed post. I closed my eyes and quickly put my hands on his shoulders pushing with all my might. I couldn't do this I wouldn't do this. My eyes flew open as his lips brushed mine.  
  
"Damn you Conlon, quit manhandling me and let me go." I snapped my voice muffled against his mouth. He pulled back in surprise and I was sure that he had never been denied before. The look of shock that was in his eyes if only for a moment filled my heart with triumph. I took the cigarette that had been tucked behind his ear and put it between my lips as he dropped his arms.  
  
"Anyone got a light?" I struggled to keep my voice steady as I looked around at the gawking boys. They had never seen Spot turned down before I supposed, it made my triumph all that much sweeter.  
  
"Here." I heard Spot say softly, I turned his mouth was quirked up in a small little smile. His hand held a match that he deftly struck. Looking into his eyes I saw that he knew what he did to me, the arrogance in that making a small flame of anger ignite, one that was no match for the fire he invoked with his touch. I tried to keep my hands from shaking as I answered the challenge in his eyes and lit the cigarette. My eyes never left his and I could see a glimmer of something in the fearless leader of Brooklyn's incredible icy orbs. Could it be the same confusion and fear that I knew was in my own? No it couldn't be, I turned to saunter off, but he was too quick. His hand shot out as I turned my back, grabbing my wrist, knocking me off balance and back into his chest. He lifted my hand to his mouth, his lips caressing the fingers that held the cigarette as he took a drag from it. I felt a shiver go down my spine in reaction to his soft lips on my hand. Then he pulled away leaving cold where there once was warmth.  
  
"Was me last one." He said coolly as he sauntered to Jack. I watched as the two of them left. I knew I was the one who looked shocked now. Blink and Mush chuckled softly and I glared at them. They shut up, but looked ready to burst as they tried to keep from laughing. Crutchy was only few feet away watching the retreating leader of Brooklyn with a fiercely protective look on his face.  
  
"Ain't nobody that get's the best of Brooklyn." Specs told me patting my shoulder as he tried not to laugh. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment and defeat. I had almost won that battle damn it. He was getting used to my game, he was even starting to win at it. I looked at the cigarette in my hand, and held it out to Blink. Since Spot had put his lips on it I had lost my taste for it.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay more thank yous!  
  
JP: Here you go what do you think, I'm rather proud of it! I can't wait for your next chapter and I love your book.  
  
Falco: Here's more Sexy Spot just for you! Hope it you like it. Do I get more waffles? I want cherries and whip cream too!  
  
Ali: I couldn't have suspense if I didn't let them know she was from the future. I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Chelci: Sorry no Glimmer in this chapter, but wait until next. Now was it Skittery that you wanted or was there another guy?  
  
Dreamer: I find it nice to find a fellow faerie too. Thank you for your review! I hope this doesn't get too predictable.  
  
Thank you all! 


	12. Feeling like a girl again

I could hear the laughter from the newsies as Mush, Blink, Mimic and I started for our usual selling spot. It ricochet off the walls of the courtyard of the distribution center like bullets, hitting my ego with the same effect as a real bullet in a body. Mimic held my hand, looking up at me worriedly as I scowled. We divvied up the papers and headed to our respective places. My irritation fading eventually as I got into selling papers, you just couldn't sell with a scowl. By the time lunch came and we entered Tibby's the morning had been pushed to the back of my mind. Crutchy waved us over and it was as if my conversation with him had never happened as if the last few days had never happened. I welcomed the ideas of forgetting it ever happened with a smile. Things seemed to be looking up at least until Spot made his appearance. He smirked at me as he went by and I smacked him in the back of the head with my roll.  
  
"That was a perfectly good roll." Mush cried watching as it bounced off Spots hard head. Spot glared at me and I smiled innocently.  
  
"It's shameless the way you flirt." Jack teased ruffling my hair like a little sister on his way by me to join Spot. Spot and I matched glares as we both looked at him. Glimmer was not far behind she plopped down as Jack went onto the table where Spot was lounging looking for all the world like a model in a magazine. He was good looking sure, but he had that brooding look and the perfect slouch. I had a feeling that if he had lived in the twentieth century he would have been an actor or a model.  
  
"I ain't takin it back." Jack laughed looking from one of us to the other. "If I didn't know better it's almost like foreplay to you two."  
  
"So how's it hanging?" Glimmer asked before I could loose my temper again. I smiled sweetly at her before answering.  
  
"Not long enough." I replied looking scornfully at Jack and Spot who both looked mortally offended. They had caught my meaning; I ignored them and turned my attention to the girl who was busy plucking pieces of meat from Blinks plate. He protested as she did, but made no move to stop her.  
  
I couldn't help a real smile at the snickers that were still twittering from around the diner. Both Jack and Spot were handsome, charming, and had a commanding aura around them. They had a confidence that drew women like flies to honey. I was no exception my earlier performance had proved that, but still I wasn't willing to be the simpering idiot that they usually entertained themselves with. I had something the other girls didn't the ability to keep from swooning.  
  
If I did anything with Spot it would be on my terms not his and I was determined not to do anything. I knew that a night spent with Spot would not be like the fumbling of my previous encounters. I had no doubt that sex was a well-practiced art to him and pleasing his partner was a matter of pride. He invoked too many confusing feelings. Feelings I was not willing to compound by getting to physically intimate with the Brooklyn leader. Hell, I wasn't going to get physically intimate with anyone, I got too emotionally attached and I wasn't willing to get that involved with anyone until I had a ring on my finger.  
  
It was a practical decision I had made in high school after a few very hurtful encounters. I wasn't a person who could take sex for a moment of pleasure, for me it always brought much deeper feelings. I had to be emotionally involved or it did nothing for me. In high school I had been stupid. I had been naïve and despite the roughness of my life I had yet to learn cynicism. I had thought myself in love and found just how far boys will go for a good time. Found exactly what kind of lies they will tell. I hadn't found anyone that was worth the pain of that kind of emotional attachment usually induced.  
  
I grew up in the twentieth century, remember, I didn't believe in fairy tales or forever when connected with the word love, and love well it was an emotion I was beginning to put up on the shelf with the other two. Besides sex caused too many complications and right now my life was complicated enough. Still the other newsies loved every minute of my banter with Spot, it let them know that when it came to women even he wasn't infallible. They loved the fact that even to their leaders I seemed nearly untouchable.  
  
"So ya got any good sellin spots?" Glimmer asked around a mouthful of Mush's mashed potatoes. Mush just slid the plate to her grapping his roll and munching on it happily. He rolled his eyes as I looked at him in surprise; he was a bottomless pit when it came to food.  
  
"She's gonna eat it either way." He told me and I slid my plate to him. I had lost my appetite the minute Spot had entered the room anyway. He smiled his thanks and attacked the plate like a starving man. I could see Glimmer eyeing it mischievously and shook my head.  
  
"Are you thinking of selling in Manahattan today?" I queried turning my attention back to Glimmer. She nodded as she spooned more potatoes into her mouth.  
  
"Lookin for a partner?" she replied as she swallowed and loaded her spoon again.  
  
"Why not." I sighed sitting back and sipping my root beer watching the other people in the dinner as I did. I was beginning to enjoy the first moment's peace I had had all day. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax wincing at the tight muscles in my neck. Tension, it does wonderful things to the body and I had had enough of it to give a masseur enough to massage for months.  
  
"So Cameo." I heard Spot say, I opened my eyes and looked up at the back of our booth's seat to see Spot leaning against it.  
  
"Can I help you with something Conlon?" I asked the impatience in my tone exaggerated as much as I could make it. He ran a finger down my arm and leaned down to caress where the collar of my shirt and my neck met with his lips. I saw the goose bumps on my arms in reaction to the kiss and fought down the shiver. I looked at him vulnerably trying desperately to remember my cynical vows on the subjects of love and sex. I was caught for a moment with all my shields down unable to do anything other than look at him and wait. My heart pounded as I looked at him, his handsome face so close, the tugging was back making me want to jump out of the booth and into his arms.  
  
"I was wonderin, when ya done sellin maybe ya could come back to Brooklyn and I'll show ya just how long it's hangin."  
  
I sat there for a moment the words slowly sinking into my brain. Once the full meaning of his word hit, I felt the pain that followed. Men of this time period didn't give a proposition like that unless he was talking to a woman of loose morals. In my time it could have been passed off as a stupid pick-up line. One used by men in bars who didn't know how to make the first initial contact. Though they probably would have gotten slapped or at the very least a drink thrown in their face. He had single handedly made me feel cheap and dirty with a single sentence. I should have expected it considering my earlier statement, and my relationship with Spot, but I wasn't ready for it. I felt like it had been a physical blow. My mind was blank and I felt the meaning of those words that he had sneered at me. I felt the feeling all woman I am sure at one time feel when their treated like a whore. That is exactly what he was doing; he was treating me with even less respect than the floozy from the party.  
  
"Sure," I hissed, " Though I doubt you could afford my price seeing as you are only a lowly newsboy."  
  
My voice had been scathing, I didn't take well to Sarah's earlier insult, but at least they had been hurled at me in a moment of passion. Spots words were not, they had been thought out, he knew what he was saying. His words were harder to take because he had but actions to them. What was it with people questioning my morals today?  
  
The place he had kissed burned on my neck like a brand. I slammed my drink down on the table and stood. I couldn't take it. I watched the boys laughing and felt the tears that started to well up in my eyes. There had been too much drama in this day as it was. I had had enough; I was in no mood for this. This time Blink and Mush weren't laughing, neither was Crutchy who had turned nearly purple with rage. They had seen the look that had passed across my face, the one I was still struggling to hide. I pushed past Spot feeling humiliated and furious.  
  
"Ya may be my brother Spot, but sometimes ya a real asshole." I heard Glimmer growl as I walked swiftly to the door wanting nothing more than to just get out of there. I glanced back at Spot and thought I saw a look of apology on his face, as Jack clapped him on the back it shifted to his usual smirk. I shrugged it off; it was probably wishful thinking. The boys at my table were all clamoring to voice their irritation at Spot as I wrenched the door open. Even Jack was beginning to realize that I had not taken it as more verbal bantering. I sighed as I slammed the door behind me; I had flounced out.  
  
Give me a pink dress and call me Sarah, I thought ruefully as I walked down the sidewalk peering into the shops as I passed them. I knew Glimmer was not far behind me, I had heard her follow me out, but she was giving me a little bit of distance. I was grateful for it; I crossed the square just outside the distribution center not really knowing where I was headed. I just needed to walk, to clear my head and to get myself under control. I seemed to be going from one extreme to the other. That morning I had wished I could pull on my anger and I couldn't until it was almost too late. Now I couldn't seem to get rid of it. I struggled to find a happy medium. Why is it that things always seem to come at you at one time?  
  
I meandered down the sidewalk stepping out of the window shopper's way from time to time when I saw the small little seamstress shop. A beautiful lavender gown was displayed artfully in the window. It was made beautifully, as a pretty accomplished seamstress myself I admired the workmanship. I longed for it in a way that only a woman can. I drooled over the satin and the elegant touches of lace here and there. Glimmer stood beside me trying to see what it was that made me stare. She looked confused, but waited patiently. I knew I couldn't afford the dress, but my longing to feel like a woman, made me enter the shop. Spots earlier comments had made me long to look like a proper woman, even for just a moment to feel like a girl worth treating with respect.  
  
"Just a minute." A voice called from the back as the bell above the door told of my arrival. A woman hardly older than girl hood made her way up the short hall way to us and stopped looking us over critically.  
  
"I was wondering if you happen to have any clothes that had been ordered by another woman that haven't come to pick them up?" I said ignoring the disdainful look she hadn't been quick enough to hide. "My mother used to work in a seamstress's shop and I know that sometimes people can't finish paying for what they ordered and I hoped you might have a skirt and a blouse. Maybe some other feminine necessities?"  
  
My hopeful look must have gotten to her because she looked me up and down critically.  
  
"We'll have to get you out of those atrociously loose clothes." She said as she circled me. " I need to judge your size, but I have a blouse that I had not finished embellishing for one woman and a skirt that may be close enough."  
  
She led me to the back room and I began stripping off my shirt and pants until I was left only in my pantaloons and camisole. Glimmer looked at me like I was crazy, I just smiled at her and raised my arms to be measured. "Perfect, just perfect." The seamstress cried in delight and I found the dark cloud over my head lifting. My spirits rose as she moved to one side of the room picking up a relatively plain corset and handing it to me.  
  
"Can you lace this for her?" the seamstress asked absently handing it to Glimmer who looked at it like it was a puzzle. I laughed and took it from her.  
  
"Just lace it like you would your shoes." I told her as I wrapped it around myself and turned my back to her. She shrugged and began lacing tightening as I told her to. I was glad this wasn't like my Elizabethan corset and had hooks up the front of it so I wouldn't have to have anyone lace me in again. I could do it on my own with the hooks once Glimmer got it to the right constriction.  
  
"So tell me why ya doin this?" Glimmer asked as she fought to tie off the ends of the corset.  
  
"I don't think I can explain it to you." I replied. I knew it was confusing for her, she was a full-fledged tomboy, while I was stuck somewhere in between tomboy and girly girl. I knew some day she would feel the need to look like a woman to grab some man's attention. She would understand the need to be feminine and have a man look at her with appreciation. She was really quite pretty, but with the smudges on her face and her man's clothing you had to look close to see the delicate features she tried to hide. She was as pretty as Spot was handsome, it must have run in the family.  
  
The seamstress was back and I tore myself from my thoughts eagerly looking at the pair of blouses and skirts the woman had returned with. A petty coat was hung over one arm and she helped me pull it over my head and situate it over the corset. I breathed comfortably through my diaphragm. You had to learn to breathe in a corset, the first time I had worn one I had nearly passed out.  
  
A skirt of deep rose colored fabric followed and I smiled at the irony of it. My earlier thoughts in my mind as I tucked in the cream colored blouse and buttoned it. Once finished with that we pulled the skirt over my head and the seamstress toyed with the back, moving the button to accommodate my smaller waist. It fit surprisingly well, the seamstress clapped in pleasure, as she looked me up and down. She turned the mirror so I could see myself. Glimmer gave a soft whistle, as I looked myself over critically. The corset created all the right curves; the skirt while not Barbie pink was a soft deep color that screamed of femininity. There were small touches of lace at the collar of the blouse and at the sleeves. I sighed in delight, I felt pretty, and I had needed that.  
  
"Now for your friend." The seamstress said looking Glimmer up and down as she had looked at me.  
  
"No..., no she may have gone crazy, but I ain't." she cried backing up her hands stretched before her. I grinned at her in the mirror a look that matched her earlier mischievousness in my eyes.  
  
"Come on Glimmer." I urged. "Try it on."  
  
"No way." She replied glaring at me. " I aint' gettin all trussed up like a turkey for nothin."  
  
"There isn't any boy you want to impress?" I asked laughing as she continued to back away.  
  
"Not that much." She growled looking at the corset that was dangling from the seamstresses arm.  
  
"You don't have to actually wear it anywhere, just try it on." I pleaded. She looked at me and I knew she was starting to cave. The seamstress and I looked at each other then waited for her response. Finally she let out an exaggerated sigh and reached for the buttons of her shirt.  
  
It didn't take us long to get her dressed. I took a step back and surveyed our work. The skirt was a dark green, the shirt a cream that nearly matched my own, though missing the lace. I smiled at her she was beautiful. She looked at her feet as we pulled her to the mirror to see our handy work. I pulled her chin up and watched in delight as she started. She looked at her reflection as if she had never seen herself before. She smiled and looked at me and I knew she had just joined the few of us that sat between girly girl and tomboy.  
  
"How much?" I asked taking the pouch of coins I always wore under my clothes. I counted out my carefully saved money. My heard pounded as she looked over my money, I knew it wasn't much, but it was all I could save. The seamstress looked at my palm and took a few of the coins leaving me with the majority.  
  
"That isn't nearly enough." I cried looking from her to my coins. Knowing if she had taken all my coins I still wouldn't have paid her enough.  
  
"I've been well paid, the ladies that come in here are not half as appreciative as you have been." She said her eyes shining with happiness. " You have made my day much brighter, besides I don't often get to play dress up any more."  
  
I looked at her closely and realized she was probably barely sixteen. I added a few more coins and smiled thankfully at her, ignoring her protests. The cloth wasn't too costly and I was sure I had paid at least to cover what had come out of her pocket. My heart felt lighter as I changed back into my other clothes and took the box filled with new clothes. Glimmer dimpled at me as she took her own and we made our way back to the Lodging House. There was something about buying myself something pretty that always lifted my mood. Dusk was starting to settle and all the lights blazed welcomingly from the House as we climbed the steps. The first thing we saw was Spot pacing irritably in the common room.  
  
"Where ya been?" he cried as Glimmer stepped in the door. "An what the hell is that?"  
  
"It's Cameo's." Glimmer said handing me the boxes that held her new dress. She blushed and looked at her irritated big brother. " Cameo went shoppin, I was just tryin to clean up ya mess."  
  
I was already half way up the stairs not really willing to deal with Spot, just looking at him made my blood pound. The confusing part is I didn't know if it was in anger or the way he looked his hair mused, his eyes flashing. I tried not to look at him as I made my way up rest of the way up the staircase smiling as I heard Glimmer pounding up behind me yelling at her brother the whole way. He was following her yelling back. I rolled my eyes as I opened the door to the bunkroom.  
  
"Whatcha got there?" Crutchy asked as he caught sight of my boxes and me.  
  
"Nothing." I replied as I made my way to my room and dumped them on the bed. To boys were moving about the room much as they had the night of Brooklyn's party. "What 's going on?"  
  
"We's goin to the carnival tonight." Mush said looking just as curiously as Crutchy was at my purchases. I shut my door and leaned against it.  
  
"Really?" I questioned raising an eyebrow. "The carnival in Central Park? I thought it was in a few days."  
  
"I was wrong." Mush told me his voice excited he looked like he needed a slap boxing competition with Jack to get some of his energy out. I nearly suggested it, but decided against it as Jack brushed by a comb in one hand looking across the room where Spot and Glimmer were still arguing as if wondering if he should break it up. After a moment he turned and went back into the washroom giving me a smile as he went.  
  
"They's havin a concert an everythin." Crutchy told me unable to hide the excitement in his voice. "We's all getting ready."  
  
"Ya better get ready to we's leavin in a little while." Mush said as he rushed off to find his shirt. I couldn't help, but admire the muscles that rippled along his back. Crutchy patted my shoulder and headed off in the direction of his bunk as I watched Glimmer worriedly. Their argument was no longer so loud, but she was gesturing angrily. Finally she broke away from him and came over to me. Spot looked like he was going to follow her, but I quickly pushed Glimmer into my room and slammed the door shut. I fumbled for the candle that sat on the windowpane and eventually managed to get it lighted.  
  
"So are you going to this carnival?" I sighed as I started to take my clothes from the boxes and fold them wishing I had some place to wear them. It had been a foolish purchase, where was I going to go in them. It may not be an opera dress, but they were too nice for selling papers.  
  
"Don't know." She said glumly as she plopped on my bed. " I don't understand men."  
  
"You never will." I promised giving her a small smile pausing and giving her hand a sqeeze. "Is he very mad?"  
  
"Not at me, though I'm the one he's yellin at." Glimmer growled as she leaned against the wall. " I think he's really mad at hisself for earlier. I don't think he knew ya weren't gonna give him what for."  
  
"Are you going to take these home?" I asked her ignoring the questioning look she gave me as she opened the one of the boxes and touched the skirt wistfully.  
  
"Maybe." She replied. We both fell silent and I listened to the noise of the boys in the other room. As I listened and looked at my own clothes longingly an idea flash into my mind. I looked at Glimmer excitedly. "What?"  
  
"We are wearing these to the carnival tonight." I said softly, I took out the corset and shook it out getting the other items of clothing ready as well. I had bought a few of pairs of inexpensive stockings since my arrival. The tights I had worn at the Renaissance Festival long since destroyed for fear the boys would find them. It had been part of getting rid of anything that would be thought of as odd here.  
  
"We are?" she asked nervously looking from the skirt to me. "The boys ain't never gonna let me live this down."  
  
I just laughed as I opened the door and headed for the washroom.  
  
"I'm coming in." I called, I heard groans and some shuffling as I opened the door and walked in. I took a couple of pitchers from the small stack of shelves and filled them up. I avoided looking at any of them knowing just how self-conscious they could be. I grabbed a couple of washcloths and a towel and left.  
  
"Are ya okay? Jack asked worriedly catching me as I nearly ran into him. "I'm fine." I said firmly trying to step around him.  
  
"Ya promise?" He questioned his eyes searching my face before he let me go. "Whatcha doin in there?"  
  
"Getting ready." I replied before I shut my door and handed the pitchers to Glimmer. She watched as I took out my bar of soap and my comb. I set them on the bed next to my clothes and stripped down to my underclothes again. Glimmer caught what I was doing and took a washcloth of her own as I half of the first pitcher into a basin I had found in the attic. I scrubbed my face and arms, cupping the water and rinsing the soap off. We had to empty and refill the water a couple of times before the grime of the day had been rinsed off leaving the soft sent of roses. I rolled the clean stockings up my legs and handed my other pair to Glimmer.  
  
"Well we did the best we can." I sighed. "Put your shoes on before you put on the corset or you will never get them on."  
  
I handed her the boots that she had removed earlier and she nodded. I took my corset from the bed and began hooking it up the front. Glimmer watched for a moment then began hooking up her own.  
  
"It's good enough." She said her fingers fumbling with the unfamiliar task. "I washed this morning with a swim."  
  
"Glimme we's leavin." Spot called through the door, he began opening it, but she threw herself against it and slammed it back shut. I sighed in regret as he managed to pull his fingers out of the way just in time. "Whatta ya doin in there?"  
  
"Nothin ya need to worry about." Glimmer yelled back. " I'll meet ya there."  
  
"I ain't leaven ya alone to walk to Central Park on you own." Spot growled as he stopped pushing on the door. I tried not to giggle at the irritated tone he had.  
  
"I'll walk her there Spot." I heard Mush offer, "I was gonna wait for Cameo anyway."  
  
"You better keep her safe." Spot grumbled his voice fading as he moved away from the door. Glimmer sighed in relief, I laughed as I buttoned my shirt and reached for my skirt.  
  
"Ya already almost done." She cried in dismay, I handed her the petticoat that was left on the bed before pulling my skirt over my head and fastening it.  
  
"Now I can help you get ready." I replied as I handed her the blouse and took the her skirt in my hands. She buttoned her shirt her fingers having trouble with the small buttons. I let out my braid while I waited for her to finish and brushed my hair enjoying the relaxing feeling. When she had finished cussing at the buttons I helped her on with her skirt. I let her brush her own hair, which surprisingly was longer than mine.  
  
" I can't believe how long your hair is." I sighed as I pulled the sides of her hair away from her face with a bit of ribbon I had horded.  
  
"I know, Spot won't let me cut it." she replied looking her the topic of conversation in irritation. She sat back as I finished getting ready using the brush to style my own hair.  
  
"Are you ready?" I asked as I tied off the braid that held the top part of my hair from my face.  
  
"As ready as I'm gonna get." She said looking nervous again.  
  
"You look beautiful." I told her as I opened the door and heard something hit the floor. Mush looked up at me in confusion, he had fallen off the stool he had been sitting on just outside the door.  
  
"Ya wearin a skirt." He said in shock, his soft brown eyes as wide as they would open.  
  
"You're wearing pants." I responded wryly.  
  
"Yeah, but I always wears pants." He retorted as he brushed himself off. He looked Glimmer over appreciatively and I saw her blush. "How did ya get her in a skirt. Spot ain't never been able to do that."  
  
"Spot isn't a girl." I told him as I brushed past him and started for the door. Glimmer mimicked me and gave him a cool look. "We have our ways."  
  
"Cameo." She whispered as Kloppman tipped his hat to us, smiling as we went by.  
  
"What?" I asked turning my head enough to let her know I was listening. I glanced back long enough to see she was still tingling from Mush's look.  
  
"Thanks." She said so softly I almost didn't hear her. I grinned at her as I opened the door and stepped outside. 


	13. Forgotten Emotions

The night air was crisp holding the promise of autumn as we wandered through the lamplight. Glimmer and I walking side-by-side arms hooked together. A few passersby nodded as we passed, I nodded back, Glimmer seemed unsure of the attention. I smiled as I looked at her from the corner of my eyes. Her high cheekbones held a hint of rose; her lips were parted in excitement as we neared Central Park. A few of the younger men tipped their hats to her. She blushed used to fighting with men not receiving appreciative looks. Mush walked a few feet to the right of us, blocking us from the alleyways we passed. Seeing us in skirts had brought out a protective side of him he hadn't previously showed. It wasn't that he hadn't looked out for me before; he was just even more on the watch tonight. I was glad since I knew I couldn't fight very well in a corset. Lamps lined the walkways of Central Park and I could hear the sound of the calliope. As we reached the grounds I smiled at the jars that hung from the trees that held lit candles. It made everything almost seem like fairy grounds. Rides were set up and I could hear the squealing of children as they rode in glee waving at their parents from the sidelines. The smell of popcorn and cotton candy filled the air as I walked into the grandfather of the amusement park. Mush moved next to us walking close so as not to loose us in the crowds of people that streamed in all directions.  
  
"Mush ain't ya gonna introduce us to ya friends?" a voice rang out. " It ain't fair for ya to have two."  
  
We all turned in the direction of the voice and found a few of the Manhattan newsboys lounging around a picnic table watching the passers by and having a cigarette. Mush moved ahead of us figuring it was safe enough to leave our side now. Crutchy was sitting on the grass about a foot or two from the table, Mimic at his side. Blink and Skittery were side-by- side sitting on the edge of the table pointing at the people that passed, laughing from time to time at what one or the other said. Specs, Race and Bumlets were playing a game of craps just in front of the bench; money lay in a pile next to the game. They all looked up, as we got nearer. We moved directly into the light, but the boys didn't recognize us. Race and Specs looked up from their game to glance admiringly at us. All of the boys stood and took off their hats charming smiles coming to their lips. I felt like I was in The Three Musketeers, I was waiting for someone to start instructing Mimic in the fine art of wenching. I smiled to myself at that thought and waited for Mush to say something. It was Crutchy who spoke however, still sitting on the ground his head cocked like a curious bird as he studied me.  
  
"Cameo?" Crutchy asked peering at me critically for a moment before his face broke into a grin. Race's dice fell from his hand as his jaw dropped, they looked from me to Glimmer and back again. I knew that once they knew who I was there was no doubt in their mind as to who she was, but their minds wouldn't wrap around it just yet.  
  
"Cameo, ya wearin a skirt." Blink cried in surprise and I refrained from using my previous retort to the words Mush had cried back at the Lodging House I just smiled.  
  
"Glimmer?!?" The real surprise was in looking at her. Blink did a double take as Crutchy peered at her much in the same manner he had me before announcing her name. I was momentarily forgotten as they all looked in awe at the girl they had all forgotten for a boy. Skittery nearly tripped over the bench in his haste to edge closer to Glimmer. Race getting knocked in the back of the knees by the bench as it fell over. Race fell backwards over it, his feet kicking in the air for a moment as he tried to roll over. I tried not to laugh as I watched. They had gone from The Three Musketeers to The Three Stooges it was hilarious. Race brought his fist down on Skittery's foot in retribution. Skittery hopped around for a moment before falling into Blink and knocking him into the table. Race tripped Mush who had gone to Blinks aid. It was a big dog pile of irritated newsies, I looked at Glimmer and we both laughed. Tears were nearly streaming from our eyes as they crawled one by one out of the fray eventually leaving only Race and Skittery. We managed to get ourselves under control though as they looked sheepishly at us. Mush had to step between Race and Skittery, Blink helped push them apart. They had been standing nose to nose staring each other down in what I was sure was some way to look more masculine. They looked ready to head butt each other like a couple of big horn sheep. I waited for the narrator from National Geographic to start speaking.  
  
"Now look at this pair of male humans... Notice their stance as they prepare to fight for the female they wish to mate with..."  
  
It's not fair, most males in the animal kingdom got more aggressive ready to fight for the female, but their colors also looked prettier during mating season as if making up for what the females had to deal with. They got the aggression, but prettier eye candy. Man did we get gypped; we humans didn't get the pretty gene, just a whole lot of testosterone.  
  
"Ya broke my best cigar." Race cried as Blink pulled him away.  
  
"I broke ya only cigar." Skittery retorted egging Race on knowing his words would only irritate him further.  
  
"Why I otta soak ya for that alone." Race snapped.  
  
"Boys, there's ladies present." Blink admonished looking to the two of us. Race and Skittery both shut up and turned away from each other. I had a look of surprise on my face I knew it.  
  
Note to self: you put on a skirt and suddenly they behave around you. I thought sardonically smiling to myself; I'd have to file that away for future use.  
  
"I ain't never been called a lady before." Glimmer whispered to me in surprise, her face alight with pleasure. Only a few hours ago I was sure she would have taken it as an insult. I had created a monster.  
  
My work here is done. I thought to myself in amusement as I saw her look shyly up at Skittery who seemed dumbstruck. So there had been a boy Glimmer had been interested in impressing.  
  
"Cameo." I looked down as Mimic tugged at my hand. "Ya look beeutiful."  
  
"Thanks munchkin." I laughed kneeling and giving him a hug. " Have you been on any of the rides yet?"  
  
He shook his head and tugged me a little ways away from the group in excitement. I was sure he had been like a firefly in a jar, bouncing against the constraints of the older newsies. Waiting impatiently for one of them to take him exploring. He was too young for any of them to let him go off by himself and they had looked too content for the moment doing whatever they had been occupied with to take him anywhere.  
  
"Ya look real nice." Crutchy said, from his place within hear shot. I smiled in thanks feeling a little bit of a blush in my own cheeks. Funny you could throw innuendo's at me all day and I'd respond with an innuendo of my own or a quick retort, but compliment me and I blushed as deeply as a virgin on her wedding night.  
  
"Ya clean up real well." Blink told me as he meandered over a gleam in his eye like he had had with his seamstress "friend".  
  
"I didn't wear a dress for you to try and get under it." I told him making sure he could hear the teasing in my voice and smiling to soften my words. He grinned and nodded looking down at his feet for a moment before holding his hand out to Mimic.  
  
"Whatta ya say squirt, ya wanna go on the carousel?" he asked. Mimic held onto my hand for a moment in protest.  
  
"I wanna go with Cameo." He cried pouting up at me in an incredibly cute manner. I looked at Glimmer who seemed overwhelmed by the attention of the boys who were looking at her as if they had never seen her before. Which I guess in a way they hadn't.  
  
"I'll take you on the carousel again later, I'll even go on with you." I promised as I handed him off to Blink. I knew I needed to rescue Glimmer before she started to feel too penned in.  
  
"Promise?" he looked up at me grabbing my other hand and holding on tightly.  
  
"I promise." I said firmly, I felt his grip loosen, he was too excited to care at the moment who took him where.  
  
"Go help Glimmer." Blink told me seeing my worried look. I smiled at him and he gestured for Mush to join him. "Since ya ain't interested, I guess we'll have to use the old cute little brother trick to find ourselves a girl tonight."  
  
I smacked his arm playfully knowing he meant nothing by his teasing, he may have been interested, but we were friends. I could see his feelings on his face and while he looked at me regretfully he knew as well as I did that we were good friends. No matter how much like a girl I looked it would never change that fact. Besides he had friend was floating around here somewhere with a pair of smoky-blue eyes that had captured my attention long ago. No matter how much I tried to deny it or how much I tried to fight it, my attention had been turned toward Spot.  
  
"Ya promised." Mimic called back as Blink and Mush headed in the direction of the calliope music. " Liars go to hell."  
  
"I'm not planning on going to hell anytime soon." I told him in a serious voice trying not to let my laughter show. Race and Specs chuckled as they heard my words, the other passersby looked at me like I was crazy. I shrugged and turned my attention back to Glimmer who was deep in conversation with Skittery, she was laughing at something he had said. Isn't it that just the way life works? You drop everything to help a friend and by the time you finally get to a point where you can they've already solved it. I looked in the direction that Mush and Blink had dragged Mimic off in and could no longer see them. I sighed, Crutchy had involved himself in the game of craps and while the boys were still shooting me surprised looks they seemed to have settled down.  
  
"Well, well, whatta we got here?" I closed my eyes I was not ready to deal with him yet. I turned and faced him waiting quietly for the attack I knew had to be coming. There was no recognition on his face, though Jack looked at me for a moment a studying me until a light went on.  
  
"Ya look familiar sweetheart, ya belong to one of they guys here?" Spot asked not really looking too closely, he had seen a pretty face and that was enough for him. Typical.  
  
"No." I replied looking away to keep from laughing. Crutchy was watching the same look of fiercely protective look back on his face as he watched Spot move closer. Race and the other boys were watching with interest, Glimmer just smirking. I looked at her and she nodded giving me permission to get her brother back for earlier in the day. Spot thought I was either being coy or was just shy and he moved forward swiftly to take my hand in his. His lips brushed it and I had to suppress the shudder that always accompanied his touch.  
  
"I don't believe I'm acquainted with you." He said his voice husky, sexy, a voice that I was sure had made many other girls before me giddy. I smiled shyly at him and ducked my head.  
  
"Spot it's..." Jack began looking from Spot to me in surprise. The skirt had thrown him for a loop, but it hadn't taken him long to realize who I was. Spot was discreetly looking around as if hoping to find someone. So that was why he hadn't noticed who I was, he was too busy looking for someone else.  
  
"Rose." I cut in quickly enjoying the charming side of Spot I had been previously denied. I was going to play this for all it was worth, if I had any luck on my side he would feel like an idiot once he figured it all out. " I'm Race's sister, took the train in from upstate earlier today."  
  
I looked at Race pleadingly, we were both of Italian decent, both of us had the same black hair and the same skin tone. The similarities ended there, but it was enough to go on. He smirked and nodded at Spot who had looked to him for confirmation.  
  
"Well, Miss Higgins," his voice was suave as he tucked my arm into his. "If ya big brother don't object, I'll show ya around."  
  
Race shook his head in agreement trying too hard not to laugh to say anything. Spot tugged me gently off and I turned back waving at Jack who watched me shaking his head amusement clearly written all over his face.  
  
"Don't be playin ya tricks on my sister." Race called after us, his voice sounded strained. He broke into laughter, the other boys finally unable to hold it in any longer.  
  
"What's up with them?" Spot asked aloud, I shrugged and pulled him away praying he wouldn't realize just yet what the other newsies amusement had been about.  
  
We walked in silence; I had worked my arm free of his grasp and clasped both hands loosely behind my back.  
  
"I hear upstate is pretty." Spot said breaking the silence that had ensued after we had broken away from the other newsies and moved to an area where it wasn't as crowded.  
  
"Yes." I replied having no idea what upstate New York looked like. I felt the silence that followed my simple answer. It made me uncomfortable, we sat next to each other on a park bench watching the people that passed. He handed me the popcorn that he had bought earlier and I took a few pieces.  
  
I tilted my head catching the strains of a familiar tune. The Blue Danube waltz, I tapped my foot in time to it. It had to have been coming from the concert Crutchy had mentioned earlier. I looked at Spot who was looking ahead clearly at a loss as to why he wasn't putting on the charm.  
  
"Spot, do you dance?" I asked putting a hand on his arm.  
  
"Oh, no." he said slouching back and giving me a smirk. "I ain't never danced and I don't plan on startin."  
  
I stood and took his hand tugging on it much as Mimic had tugged on mine earlier urging him to stand.  
  
"Dance with me please." I begged giving him a pleading look. He studied my face for a moment and slowly shook his head. I knew it had occurred to him to look closer at me finally. I had only a little while before he figured it out. "Come on please."  
  
"There's people watching." He protested as I tugged him to his feet.  
  
"Who cares?" I asked giving him a promising smile, I winked saucily at him and he reluctantly stood. I knew he figured that if he at least attempted to dance with me he had it in the bag. I placed his arm around my waist, and positioned his other hand in the proper waltz position. He looked a little sheepish as I began to teach him the steps of the waltz. It wasn't really that hard and with the natural grace of a born fighter he picked it up quickly enough. I laughed forgetting about everything for a few minutes. I forgot my plans, I forgot our little war against each other, I forgot my anger and hostility. I let myself be free for the first time since my mother died, laughter bubbling in side me like Coca Cola in a shaken up bottle. My laughter was contagious and Spot grinned down at me gaining enough confidence his newfound dancing talent to twirl me into a spin and bring me back in closer to him. His eyes twinkled down at me something was different about him. Looking into up into his face I saw past the front he carefully maintained. I saw past the reputation he was so known for and saw the person who no one except perhaps Glimmer and Jack had seen. Both of us ignored the looks of the passing people lost in our own little world. Our dancing slowed, his arm tightened, our eyes locked together, and I felt him lowering my other hand. I felt naked, my masks were gone and I didn't even have the urge to pull them up again. My barriers had fallen to the delighted look on his face. He leaned in as his other hand placed mine on his shoulder; my other was already gripping his arm where it had rested while we were dancing. I let my eyes flutter shut unable to stop him from the kiss I knew was coming. I struggled for a moment trying to remind myself of who he was, what he was, but it was no use. His lips brushed mine hesitantly at first as if testing to see if I was willing. I responded to his surprise by repeating the gesture. His arm tightened around me pulling me as close as he had held me that morning. My hands slid up his arms to the back of his neck twining together. I was lost in feeling, I hadn't realized how dead inside I had been since Mom's death until that moment. It was as if I had awakened from a deep sleep all of my senses reeling with the sudden surge of lost emotions. Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks to mingle in our kiss making it salty sweet. He pulled away for a moment and I smiled. From the confusion on his face and the fear I knew he had been similarly affected.  
  
"Are ya okay?" he asked concern wrinkling his brow and I nodded gently running my fingertips along his jaw urging him closer for another kiss. His hand caressed my neck gently cupping my head as he leaned down again. I welcomed his kiss without hesitation not wanting to loose these emotions again. He made no attempts to move beyond the kiss though it became heated enough for it. I was glad we had waltzed close enough to the trees we were not in prominent view.  
  
"Briar." I heard a voice calling my name, but was too drunk off Spot's kiss to raise my head. Finally Spot pulled away and looked in the direction of the voice. I pulled his head back down, but he only brushed my lips with his as he looked again at the figure that was coming toward us.  
  
"Briar." My head whipped around as I came slamming back into reality and I saw Crutchy hobbling toward us. Spot looked down at me still holding me tightly against him, he searched my face realization dawning on him as Jack and a few of the other newsies followed Crutchy to where we were. Spot dropped me as if I had burned him and I stumbled back into a tree grabbing at it for support. Glimmer came to stand next to me her face alight with mischief.  
  
"That was great really it was." Race chuckled patting me on the back. " Ya got the high and mighty Spot Conlon to dance in the middle of Central Park."  
  
I heart fell to my shoes as I saw the look on Spots face he was livid. He just stood there for a moment staring at me. I didn't think I just reacted to his look my hand reaching out for him. He pulled back as I was a leper.  
  
"What are ya talking about Race?" he sneered his eyes never leaving mine. " Ya think I didn't know? I'se just playin along to see what I could get."  
  
His words hurt though I knew in my heart that he was lying. He hadn't know I had seen it in his face, I had seen the look of betrayal as he had pushed me away from him. I didn't dispute it; I closed my eyes and drew on that cold feeling within me that had allowed me to get by after my mother's death. It spread through my body with a chilling swiftness numbing again all those emotions that had broken free. I locked that part of myself away ignoring the bitter screams of her as I did.  
  
"You got all you were going to get." I told him, glancing down I smiled mockingly. "Looks like I'm not the one who's going to be uncomfortable tonight."  
  
He hadn't been that aroused yet, but making him look down in embarrassment was well worth it.  
  
"This ain't over Briar." He hissed grabbing my hand and dragging me to him. His hand repositioned itself where it had been; this time however it held my head instead of cradled it. I squirmed and protested as his head descended down again, this time his face set with open hostility. His mouth met mine with a brutal force I couldn't stop, it was a bruising kiss meant to put me in my place. I turned the tables on him and responded softly. He softened for a moment and I could feel the battle of our wills. Finally he tore away pushing me back and wiping his hand across his mouth as if he had tasted something bad. I landed hard on my rump making myself smile triumphantly up at him, but unable to stop the fingers that brushed my bruised and kiss swollen lips.  
  
"I look forward to the next battle." I said as Jack helped me to my feet. He turned on his heel and stomped off. I turned in the opposite direction ignoring the boy's protests I dodged into the crowd loosing myself from their view before one of them could follow me.  
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry I forgot to thank you all in my last chapter! (hangs head). I get so excited to get a new chapter up I forget to finish writing this part. SORRY! So an extra thank you to all of you! Okay anyway.  
  
JP: I'm glad you liked the last chapter, I wasn't too thrilled with the end, it felt a little rushed to me. Hope this one is better.  
  
Chelci: You feel pretty awwwww, that's nice! I'm glad, and yes according to my muses Glimmer does take after Spot in the attractive factor!  
  
Falco: AHHHHHH I've been inundated with waffles (munches happily on one while tilting a pixi stick back to pour the sweet powder into her mouth). These are getting kind of cold though and they get kind of mushy when you try to reheat them. Fresh ones please? (Looks hopefully at Falco). On a more serious note, thank you for your reviews, I am really glad you like it!  
  
Ali: I know he's an ass, I wrote him to be that way. The muses say that he's not like that underneath though so feel better about it. We'll see if they decide that Cameo and Spot can get through their pride and battle of wills to be together. I hope newsboys wear socks can you imagine how much dirtier their feet would be if they didn't and I think if I lived in the LH, I would make their shoes sleep out side if they didn't, talk about a stench. EWWWW.  
  
Cards: I'm glad you liked it. I hope you like the rest of what comes pouring out of my odd little brain.  
  
Dreamer: You caught that... I loved that line when I wrote it, though no one has commented on the irony of the face I wrote how Spot would be a model or a movie star if he lived in the 20th century... Oh well, maybe I was the only one amused by that. It wouldn't be the first time. New chapter on the way soon. I promise.  
  
Smooches to all of you that reviewed! Thank you again. If you are reading this and you haven't reviewed please do so even if you don't like it. I can take constructive criticism. that means useful tips! 


	14. Riddled Answers

I ran through the crowd, dodging people as they rounded corners, I heard the outraged squawks of the people I clipped and ignored them. Finally I let myself slow figuring that I had lost the boys. A bench set a little away from the crowd beckoned me and I sat down, not looking up burying my head in my hands. I felt awful, for all my bravado I found I felt emotionally battered. I couldn't take much more of this sparring with Spot. I was tired of looking for ways to irritate and hurt him. I hadn't meant to hurt him this last time, but it had happened. I was so lost in my own thoughts I never saw the lady that sat on the other end of the bench. She startled me when she laid a hand on my shoulder. I uttered a brief shriek as I jumped.  
  
"I am sorry." She said simply " I did not intend to frighten you."  
  
Her voice was familiar, it was lilting soft, like a flue on the wind. I looked her over, her skirts were brilliant blue and violet, her hair tied back from her face with a matching scarf, silver and gold bangles slid together jingling on her wrists. I knew she was a gypsy.  
  
"Can I help you?" I asked eyeing her distrustfully. I wasn't afraid she'd steal my first born, which I was sure some of the ladies around here were, but the last gypsy I had met; well we've already gone over that.  
  
"You looked lost child." She told me smiling gently, calm seemed to roll off of her in waves.  
  
"You have no idea." I replied looking out at that crowd. They milled around happily like sheep in a pasture.  
  
"I might." She whispered touching the amulet that hung from my throat. My head swung around with enough force to crack my neck.  
  
"What do you mean?" I questioned my eyes narrowing as she smiled knowingly at me.  
  
"You know."  
  
"What is it with you people and your need to speak in riddles." I cried. "If you know than why me? Why am I here and how in the hell do I get home."  
  
"I do not try to speak in riddles." She said softly, thoughtfully. " I just do not always give the easiest answer."  
  
"I want the easy answer, my small little brain can't keep up with you." I snapped. She placed a hand on my arm in a soothing gesture.  
  
"Easy answers can't always be given." I rolled my eyes, but listened as she continued. " you are here because you were meant to be."  
  
"So you're saying there was some great cosmic mix up and I was born in the wrong time period?" I didn't quite believe her, but I still listened as she shook her head and opened her mouth to answer my question.  
  
"No, you were born where you were meant to be born, there are no mistakes in fate," she explained. " You were not meant to stay in that time. You were meant to be here."  
  
"Great I'm meant to be here, what and the hell does that mean." I sighed the sarcastic bite to my tone frustrating her.  
  
" You were meant to be here. In your own time you were lost, almost dead inside." She told me, I wiggled uncomfortably on the seat how right she was, was frightening. "I know the feelings with in you have already started to stir again. You are beginning to feel happiness, to feel joy, to feel love, but the choice cannot be made for you. If you decide it to be so you may return to where you came from."  
  
"How?"  
  
"You are here because you want to be here, if you do not then you will not." She responded. She opened her mouth to say more and I leaned forward eagerly, but we were interrupted. A small child threw herself into the woman's arms.  
  
"Mama." She cried, " Alexi needs you."  
  
"I must go." She said her voice regretful as she gathered the child in her arms.  
  
"You can't, you haven't told me how I get home." I cried in frustration. The child looked at me her eyes boring into me familiarly. She turned her head, an angry red scar curled from her right eye across her cheek and to her chin. I gasped, the woman looked down at me for a moment then turned.  
  
" You are home." She called over her shoulder as she moved beyond a curtain of people and vanished.  
  
"DAMN it !" I swore ready to hit something, I had almost gotten the answer, but instead I had received more riddles. A lady passing moved past me her pace quickening as she heard my words. She muttered something about my bad manners and a word that sounded like unladylike.  
  
"Oh shove it up your ass." I growled. She looked appalled and I ignored her starting off in a direction not really caring where I ended up.  
  
"Cameo." I heard the voice calling me, but I ignored it. "Cameo."  
  
Unfortunately the voice wouldn't be ignored; Mush grabbed my arm and whirled me around.  
  
"What were you thinking running off without one of us?" He asked. I tried to shrug off his arm, but he held tight. Mimic nearly bowled me over as him and Blink melted from the crowd.  
  
"I wasn't thinking, I was just trying to get away from that over blown pompous ass before I decked him." I replied finally wrestling my arm from Mush.  
  
"Ya interested in him ain't ya?" Mush said softly, looking at me in understanding seeing more beyond my aggravated words than I liked.  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about." I said stubbornly turning on my heel, but he stopped me his hand snagging my arm again. He turned me to look at him and his studied me for a moment. I had managed to pull up my walls again, walls that had been torn to shreds with just one kiss, but they were flimsy things ready to fall due to the rubble foundation that had been left. I felt myself weakening; I wanted to throw myself in Mush's arms and cry like a baby. I held myself back managing to keep control on myself until he pulled me into his arms. There was nothing more than brotherly concern in his face and I found those fragile walls much to my dismay for the third time that day. Tears flooded my eyes, I tried to blink them away, but stubbornly the fell down my cheeks I brushed them away angrily.  
  
"It's okay Cameo, we all need a cry sometimes." He whispered in my ear.  
  
"I can't do this Mush." I said brokenly still refusing to cry. " I can't have feelings for him. I won't let myself be another score mark on his wall. I won't let him use me and toss me aside like all the other stupid girls."  
  
"We won't let him hurt you Cameo." I heard Blinks' voice and felt his hand on my back softly stroking calming me. Hastily I put myself together and pulled back.  
  
"Cameo, why ya cryin?" Mimic asked not understanding what we had been talking about. I ruffled his hair and shook my head. " Are ya gonna take me on the carousel now?"  
  
"Sure squirt." I said laughing shakily, I took the hand he held out and let him pull me off in the direction of the carousel. The calliope music lifted my heart and I found myself laughing as even Blink and Mush threw their pride to the wind and rode with us. They made me laugh even harder as they pretended to race the motionless horsed. I had to grab Mimic to keep him from falling as he tried to ride his horse backwards. I knew they were being silly to make me laugh and I was grateful for it. When we finally made our way back to the group my heart was much lighter. I munched happily on cotton candy, sighing as Mimic took another big handful. He was going to be bouncing around for a while, and he would take forever to clean up. The pink sweet was sticking out of his air in odd spots and made his hands sticky. Mush had found that out the hard way since Mimic was sitting on his shoulders and had grabbed Mush's face when someone had run into them. I chuckled, as a piece of cotton candy fell from Mimic's greedy hands and fell into Mush's hair. Blink hooted in laughter and Mush batted at his hair finally giving up the battle when he almost dumped Mimic to the ground.  
  
"No more for you." I said in a teasing voice as I took it away. He protested loudly, but when Mush set him on the ground he was off. I noticed there were two tables now, Jack, Spot, Snipeshooter, and a couple of the other Brooklyn newsies were seated at one a card game going. Another game was going between Race, Specs, Skittery and Glimmer. Race never looked up from his game as Mimic nearly knocked him off his seat in his haste to tell him all about the rides we had gone on. We had pooled our money to get him on half of them; the other half I had flirted with the operator to get us on. As we neared the tables I saw each of the newsies look up and nod a greeting at us. Spot's eyes lingered on me for a moment, before breezily looking at his hand as if I were not worthy of his notice. I made a mental note to try and tell him I hadn't meant for the newsies to see us dance. That it had been an impulsive moment, I knew he probably wouldn't believe me, but I had to take a shot.  
  
"Are you angry with me?" I asked Glimmer worriedly as I sat next to her.  
  
"No." she shook her head. "He's pretty upset, but he deserved what ya gave 'em for what he said in Tibby's today. I can't feel too sorry for him."  
  
She smiled at me and folded.  
  
"Deal me in Race." I said in between Mimic's excited exclamations. Mush and Blink nodded as Race looked to them curiously.  
  
"Ya actually bettin tonight Cameo?" Race asked as he passed me the cards. I smiled saucily and threw a coin into the growing pot. We played a few rounds that I lost to my surprise. Finally I got a winning hand and I saw Crutchy making his way toward the other table a determined look on his face. I had wondered where he had gotten off to and I was going to ask him, but the look on his face made me stop. There was an anger I had never seen before the usually happy-go- lucky demeanor was gone in favor of this new side I wasn't sure I wanted to see.  
  
"How many Cameo?" Race questioned his voice almost startling me.  
  
"Two." I said passing my cards to him and receiving two in return. My attention went back to Crutchy. He stopped at the other table glaring down at Spot who looked up at him an eyebrow rising as he too caught the look. "Ya playin or not?" Race tapped my arm looking irritated. I looked back at my cards, I had an awesome hand, but I wasn't sure if I should fold. I was afraid that Crutchy was going to get himself hurt.  
  
"Full house." I said laying my cards on the table. Glimmer hooted with glee as the boys groaned each throwing their cards down on the table.  
  
"What's goin on Crutchy?" I heard Spot's voice; it was cool as ice, and deadly as a cobra.  
  
"I want ya to stay away from Cameo." Crutchy said in a warning tone. " I don't want ya playin ya games with her."  
  
I looked up at my name, my hands resting on the table in a gesture that told anyone who was looking I was ready to jump up at a moment's notice. No one did notice though, Crutchy's words had rung out clear as a bell and everyone's attention was on him.  
  
"Ya don't have ta worry about me playin any games." Spot replied his voice taking a bit of a bite. " But if at some point I plan to, there ain't nothin ya gonna be able to do about it."  
  
Thanks to my earlier actions Spot was in a foul mood and I stood worriedly afraid that he might actually snap and attack Crutchy. Crutchy wasn't exactly trying to keep from pushing his buttons either.  
  
"I told ya to leave her alone Spot." Crutchy hissed. " She's a good girl, ya just don't know her, ya don't understand."  
  
"She ain't no virgin mary either." Spot said taking a drag off his cigarette as I moved to stand nearer to him. I could see Spot tensing he was itching for a fight and unfortunately Crutchy had to choose tonight to act like the noble big brother.  
  
"Ya gonna stay away from her." Crutchy growled, it wasn't a question it was an order. Spot sprang to his feet, my heart leapt to my throat as I grabbed his arm.  
  
"Leave him alone Spot." I said with warning of my own.  
  
"Whatta ya gonna do to make me?" Spot leered at me. I closed my eyes, bit back on the retort that came to my lips immediately. I didn't speak to him though I turned my attention to Crutchy.  
  
"I can defend my own honor, thank you." I spoke to Crutchy my attention seeming entirely on him, but I hadn't let go of Spots arm. Crutchy looked back at me the anger in his eyes glittering, but his look softened as he studied me for a moment. He looked away for a moment then backed off, letting Specs lead him away.  
  
"Michael Conlon." I heard Glimmer snap and I dropped his arm letting his sister round on him angrily. "Here I thought ya were a leader and I come to find ya're just a big bully. Mama taught ya better than that, I'm ashamed to call ya my brother."  
  
"Ain't nobody gonna challenge my authority." Spot snapped back. " I don't care who they is, nobody's gonna talk to me like that."  
  
"So ya gonna start beatin on girls and little kids too then?" Glimmer challenged, I sighed thankful that she had taken up the reigns, I wasn't sure I could handle another skirmish with Spot today.  
  
"I'm going home." I said softly to Mush, as much as I was enjoying Glimmer's dressing down I was tired. Blink gathered up Mimic who was trying to stay awake to see the interesting things us grown-ups were yelling about. Mush nodded to me and we snuck away. Kloppman stuck his head out, but didn't say anything as we went up the stairs. Blink put Mimic in the bunk he hadn't slept since that first night and I shut myself in my room. I stripped down hastily not caring about my new clothes as I threw them to the floor in a heap. I was tired; I had never spent a day fighting as much as I had today. There was just something about putting Spot and me in a room together that was like putting a couple of betas in a small fish tank. I grabbed the necklace around my neck and thought about the gypsy's words as I crawled into bed thankful that for the first time in days Mimic was not there. I wished whole heartedly to go home squeezing my eyes shut and wishing with all I had. It didn't work. There in the darkness of my room I cried, really cried for the first time in years. I let all my feelings go, all the fright, the loneliness, the confusion, the frustration, and the hurt of that day poured into my pillow. I fell asleep tears still seeping from the corners of my eyes.  
  
  
  
Cards: I'm glad you like my Spot, he can be kind of difficult to write. When are you going to update? There are a few of your stories I've been waiting to read more of.  
  
Falco: Here comes Crutchy again, meaning well, but putting his foot in it. I hope you like this one. I'll let you in on a little secret there is something big that's coming that is going to push Spot and Cameo together. It's going to force them to get along a little bit better.  
  
Ali: Okay fighting is almost over. They've gotten under each other's skin as much as is humanly possible. Soon. I promise... read what I wrote to Falco it's for you too.  
  
Chelci: I'm glad I wasn't the only one amused; I was beginning to get worried. Glimmer is too pissed at her brother's bad behavior to do any comforting... Since I'm writing Glimmer for you that may be a good thing.  
  
JP: Where are you? I haven't seen you all day! AHHHHHHH! Gotta work until 10 tonight. Hope I get to talk to you. I'm brilliant? (does a happy dance.)  
  
Dreamer: I try! Really I do. Actually I'm so hooked on reviews I write because I get that tingling feeling every time I get them. And as for faire.. we're no less sane than the rest of the world, we just are more willing to admit our oddities! 


	15. Actions without thought

The days moved by swiftly each blending into each other. I won't go into the boring details of the next few weeks, but I will say that I didn't see Spot or Glimmer. It seemed as if Spot had taken my suggestion and decided to stay on his own side of the fence, unfortunately it seemed Glimmer had to as well. Skittery disappeared for days at a time, to Brooklyn I found out from the boys who honestly gossiped more than the popular girls in high school. I was relived in a way, I was not constantly looking out for the next verbal battle, but at the same time I missed it. Crazy as it seems I almost seemed to enjoy fighting with Spot, he was the first guy in years that could match me wit for wit. There was also a void left, one that I couldn't fill and that I didn't understand.  
  
I had taken only Mimic selling that day, Blink and Mush had gone to their usual spot. I went searching for a better-untapped spot. We did pretty well together, we rendezvoused at Tibby's for lunch and I told the boys of my new find. I returned with Mimic that afternoon and just as dusk was starting to fall I was interrupted by a newsie I didn't recognize.  
  
"You Cameo?" he asked in a gruff voice, his demeanor, attitude, and accent marked him as one of Spot's boys. He continued at my brief nod. " Glimmer sent me, she there's somthin goin on and she needs ya help."  
  
"What's going on?" I asked curiously.  
  
"I can't talk about it here, there's problems in Brooklyn that's all I can tell you." The boy told me softly looking around as if he were worried he had been over heard. My first thought was that something had happened to Spot. I didn't think and I had to fight not to panic, I turned to grab Mimic's hand, when I turned back around the boy had disappeared. My worry over rode the little voice that was nagging at the back of my head and I started in the direction of Brooklyn. Darkness had taken hold of the sky as I dragged Mimic behind me stopping only long enough to give him the roll I had snagged from lunch just incase his ever hungry stomach started complaining. That particular night was dark, it was a new moon so only the street lamp illuminated our way and I was lost. I had only been to the Brooklyn Lodging House one time and unfortunately my memory on how to get there was a little faulty. Footsteps echoed behind me matching mine, I turned to look behind me, but saw nothing. Shrugging off the hair that was rising on the back of my neck I started quickened my pace making the turn I needed to, listening as the footsteps echoed again. I felt like one of the heroine's in a horror movie, I scolded myself and tried to ignore it. The chuckling that followed made my blood run cold.  
  
Mimic looked at me with wide eyes and I scooped him up throwing him over my shoulder as I gave into the temptation to run, never looking back at the pursuers I knew were there. Their feet pounded on the cobblestones telling me by the sound that they were gaining. I ran as fast as I could, turning around the corner I found myself in a dead end alley way, swiftly turning I found two hulking shadows already closing in. I set Mimic on his feet and pushed him behind me.  
  
"What do you want?" I cried, my mind was going a million miles a minute. One side berating me for acting like one of the stupid ninnies in a horror movie and the other trying to figure out how to get past the men who were illuminated from behind by the street lamp. I crouched as they came closer realizing I only had one chance for survival.  
  
"Mimic." I whispered squeezing his arm reassuringly. "I'm going to distract him and I want you to run past. Go find help."  
  
I glanced back at his pale frightened face and I prayed he would be able to dodge past. I knew if I could get him out of here at least he would be safe even if he couldn't find help in time. I let them close in before swinging at one of them. The other laughed and caught my by the arm, his partner just laughed his attention on me. Mimic sprinted for the opening of the alley, the man that held me tried to grab him as he went past, but Mimic was too swift.  
  
"Damn it." The man I attacked cried seeing the little shape disappear around the corner.  
  
"Ya gonna go after him?"  
  
"Na, what's the need, he ain't gonna find anyone near enough here to help. Only the Brooklyn Lodgin House is near and the way this one's been treatin Spot I don't think he's gonna raise a finger."  
  
I knew Glimmer would and I hoped one of them would be able to help me as I dangled helplessly from the ground. I kicked out trying to catch someone in the shins and managed a good hit to the stomach of the man who was not holding me.  
  
"I think she needs a lesson in how a woman should act instead of actin like a man." The man who held me said and I cursed the fact that their attention was fully on me again. Fear was twisting my heart as I struggled; I knew how men tried to put women in their place here in this time. His slobbering kiss on my neck as he pushed me into the wall made me feel queasy. Still I tried to fight back, but it was useless I had had the element of surprise with Ox other wise I would never have taken the chance. Here they were the attackers, there senses were alert, their adrenaline pumping and they had all the marbles. My shirt tore down the front, button's popping in all directions clicking on the ground as they fell. I closed my eyes and tried to will myself from my body, my hand instinctively went to my throat only to find my neck as I had removed the gypsies amulet irritated at my inability to send myself back.  
  
"Whatta we got here?" the voice that I loved to hate rang off the walls of the buildings that created the ally. I felt the men tensing in recognition. I had never been so happy to hear Spot's voice as I was at that moment. I looked to the alley's entryway to see Spot was alone my heart sank. I had heard rumors about Spot and had a glimpse of him fighting that night at the party, but I wasn't sure he could take both of these men at once.  
  
"Nothin that concerns you." The man that held me pulled his hat down low to block his features as if you could tell in the darkness.  
  
"I think it does concern me, an I think ya should let her go." Spot's voice had always had a dangerous tone; it was part and parcel to why I was so interested I was sure. I had always been attracted if not annoyed by strong, arrogant men. His voice was deadly enough to send a shiver down my spine.  
  
"Turn around Conlon, there's no reason for ya to get hurt over this little tramp."  
  
His attention was on Spot so I raised my hands, which were hanging loosely at my sides and clapped my hands hard over his ears, my foot stomping on the most sensitive part of his foot all in one motion. Spot took the opening I gave him and swung into action. I hit the wall to my left hard, nearly knocking the breath from my body. My head cracked against the stone with enough force to send a trickle of something warm and wet into my eye, I had no doubt it was blood. I saw splotches of color, blinking I tried to see where my attackers were.  
  
I moved quickly to my feet when my vision cleared, a piece of a broken crate held in my hand like a club ready to jump to Spot's defense if he needed it. Spot was out numbered wailing on them both. They may not have been too smart, but they weren't stupid and I knew they were going to wear him out if at all possible and then take him down. He had to expend twice as much energy to keep the jackals at bay. I smacked one of the men in the head as he passed by me breaking the board with a satisfying cracking sound.  
  
"Spot your cane." I cried as the man staggered for a moment. He threw the cane it's gold top winking in the dim light from the near by street lamp and I deftly caught it twirling it as I did as if it were a quarter staff. I thanked my lucky stars I had learned to fight with a sword and a quarterstaff as I blocked my attackers flying fist with one movement and slammed the gold tip into his face with a gratifying crunch. I heard his exclamation as he grabbed for his nose, I whirled the other end into his stomach and for good measure got a golf swing to his groin. He fell to the ground as Spot made quick work of my other assailant.  
  
"If I were you, I'd get out of Brooklyn now." Spot hissed holding the man I had given him the opportunity to focus on, holding him by the hair. Spot shoved him forward releasing him and I was sure he was smirking as he rounded on me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me from the alley, I looked back to see them both still sitting in the same position. Shouts rang out as Spot dragged me away quickly, a few of Spots best newsies were making their way to us.  
  
"Any problems boss?" One asked as he looked from me to Spot.  
  
"There are a couple of goons back there, make sure they find their way out of Brooklyn. The newsie that had spoken nodded and they started off in the direction Spot had pointed too. I was nearly bowled over as Mimic threw himself at me, Spot grabbed my elbow to steady me. Glimmer was not far behind him a worried look of her own on her face.  
  
"Are ya alright Cameo?" he cried his little face looking worriedly up at me. Gently he touched the wound on my forehead making me wince and take a sharp breath.  
  
"I'm fine Mimic, I'll be better if you let me stand and get some place safe, where I can sit." I replied.  
  
"Glimmer take the kid back to the LH." Spot said in a tight voice. Glimmer looked from me to him a warning look on her face. Spot gave her a look that clearly said march, so after a moment of staring each other down she nodded and did as she was told leaving me alone wit him.  
  
"Spot if you're going to start berating me please save it for later." I sighed raising a hand in submission. " I'm not in any shape to argue."  
  
"What are ya doin in Brooklyn Cameo?" he asked me glaring for all he was worth. He took off his over shirt and handed it to me. I realize that my shirt was hanging open revealing my camisole that he was trying not to look at. I let out an exasperated sigh and changed shirts buttoning his up as I glared at him. I was covered for crying out loud, it wasn't as if I was running around naked though Spot looked at me as if I had been.  
  
"One of your newsies told me that Glimmer sent him, that there was some problem here in Brooklyn and she needed me." I told him starting in the direction Glimmer had taken.  
  
"That ain't possible, I was sellin with her all day." Spot told me in disbelief. I felt the anger that always seemed so close to the surface when he was near and whirled on him.  
  
"Call my a liar, I don't care." I snapped. "But if you ask Mimic he will say the same thing."  
  
"So instead of thinking about it you go charging off into Brooklyn, an area you know less than Manhattan, which ya don't know very well either at night?" Spot demanded his own irritation raising a few notches.  
  
"I wasn't thinking, I was too worried about you..r sister to care." I spat hoping I had covered up my blunder. I felt the color fill my cheeks, I had been worried about Glimmer, but the idea of Spot in trouble had made me forget all reason. What was wrong with me? I thought back on my options and wished I ignored the words of the newsie. His expression softened and he shook his head.  
  
"That was pretty stupid of you Cameo." He chided me. I ignored him and started up the steps of the Lodging House just thankful we had reached it. " I can't believe ya brought Mimic along with ya. I thought ya had more sense in ya head than that."  
  
"Well, I'm not perfect." I muttered, just as angry with myself for Mimics involvement. I realized now that we were both safe, just how much trouble he could have been in. Spot chuckled as he moved past me and led the way into Brooklyn's common room.  
  
"Clear out." Spot commanded to the few Brooklyn boys that were here and there, they did as they were told swiftly leaving only Spot, Glimmer, Mimic and I in the room. Glimmer pushed me down in a seat and gently as she could she began to clean the cut just above my right eye. I winced as she wiped at it, Spot watched me closely as she did it.  
  
"Ya lucky I was just up the street when Mimic came barreling into me on his way to the LH." Spot said softly.  
  
"Do you have to keep rubbing it in?" I asked irritably. "I know I screwed up, thank you for pointing it out."  
  
"Spot," an urgent voice called out, just before one of the boys came barreling into the common room a sickened expression on his face.  
  
"What?" Spot snapped coming to his feet swiftly.  
  
"It's Quill." The boy said the sorrow and fear in his voice almost palatable.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
I wracked my brain trying to remember why that name was so familiar. Finally my mind produced a picture of a small boy of about nine or ten, a picture of the boy I had attacked Ox to save. I remembered a small boy who looked at me as if I was a hero.  
  
"He's dead, beaten to death." The boys voice was soft and sad. I gave a strangled gasp, tears forming in my eyes. Anger surged through me. The bruises had barely faded and the kid had kicked the bucket anyway.  
  
"The letters OX was carved into his shoulder." Another boy said as Glimmer stopped cleaning the cut, which was hardly a scrap once we had cleaned away the blood; unfortunately head wounds bleed like the devil.  
  
"Damn!" was all Spot said, it was all he could say as the pain flashed through his eyes. I knew he was angry with himself, I could see Glimmer lean against the table behind her tears streaking down her cheeks. Skittery stepped up to her and put an arm around her shoulder, I wondered where he had come from. He must have been here to visit again.  
  
"Show me where he is." Spot's voice was soft, but held a hard edge to it. " I want you to stay here." He said to me as he followed two of his boys to the door.  
  
" You're stayin here tonight." Glimmer told me her voice just as stubborn as her brothers. I knew that taking charge of me was giving her a little bit of control over the situation and I let her lead me to the stairs. "Let's get ya upstairs, ya look ready to fall over."  
  
"I feel ready to fall over." I whispered wiping at the corners of my eyes to keep the tears at bay. Glimmer led me up the stairs and to a room a little bigger than my own, I saw her dress folded neatly on the shelves that had been built in to the wall. She took one of the nightgowns from the shelf and handed it to me.  
  
"Thank you." My voice was emotionless as I took it from her.  
  
"You can sleep here tonight." Glimmer told me. "I'll sleep in Spot's room."  
  
I nodded unable to pull myself from thoughts of tonight to argue that I really should be going back to Manhattan. I changed and crawled into bed, finding scrapes and bruises I hadn't felt until now. A little while later I heard the door creak open and Mimic curled up with me.  
  
"Mimic?" I whispered.  
  
"What?" he whispered back.  
  
"I'm sorry." I sighed; his answer was to give me a hug. He laid back his fingers twirling my hair around them until he fell asleep. I finally fell into a dreamless slumber too emotionally and physically exhausted to stay awake. My last thought as I drifted off was that I seemed to spend an awful lot of time exhausted whenever I was around Spot.  
  
I woke probably a few hours later to voices just outside my window. Silently I made my way to the window and from the light of the bunkroom next door I could see Glimmer and Spot sitting side by side on the fire escape.  
  
"I should have been there Gabrielle." He whispered to her. I was startled as he said what must have been her real name. I had never asked and she had never told me.  
  
" Ya can't be every where at once." Glimmer responded patting his leg.  
  
"I'm the leader, I have to look out for everyone." He replied the naked pain in his voice making me want to comfort him.  
  
"Ya the leader and ya can't take care of everyone." She sighed and changed the subject. I could tell she was worried and wanted to get his mind off of it. "What are ya gonna do with Cameo?"  
  
"We're gonna have to keep her here, Bri." He looked out at the city. "He left a calling card and the next person he's gonna probably go after is her. I ain't gonna let her go back to Manhattan, Jackie-boy could take care of her, but not like I can. He doesn't have the reputation I do."  
  
"Ya reputation alone could keep her safe." Glimmer agreed. "Ya gonna be okay with that?"  
  
"Do I have a choice?"  
  
"No." she admitted. " Ya really like this girl don't ya?"  
  
"Why would I like her? She gets under my skin." Spot grumbled, Glimmer gave him a look that told him she didn't buy it. "Don't ya have anythin better to talk about, ya'd think she turned ya into a girl."  
  
"I am a girl." Glimmer said in mock anger cuffing him in the back of the head.  
  
"Yeah, but she's got ya actin like it." He teased as he cuffed her back and let his arm fall to her shoulders in a gesture of brotherly affection. They both fell silent staring out at the night I could tell they were both fighting internal battles, battles both were trying to be strong enough to fight on their own.  
  
"What if I can't protect her too?" Spot asked after a moment the uncertainty in his voice shocking me. This was the infallible Spot Conlon, smart-ass, arrogant leader of Brooklyn who had an answer for everything. He was human though I reminded myself, not infallible, he was however very self-assured, or so I had thought. " I don't know what I would do if somethin bad happened to her while she's under me care, maybe Manhattan can protect her better."  
  
"Don' t you dare second guess yaself." Glimmer admonished. " Ya'll do just fine, come on let's get some sleep before we gotta get up."  
  
"I'll be in, in a minute." Spot told her, she looked back at her brother for a moment then she brushed his cheek affectionately.  
  
"I have faith in ya Spot, I'll always have faith."  
  
"I'm glad one of us does." Spot muttered. I watched him as Glimmer went inside; he took a drag off his cigarette and stared at the stars. "Ma, I hope ya watchin over us. I think we really need a guardian angel right now."  
  
I lay back down feeling bad for eavesdropping, Mimic lay sprawled and I pulled the blanket up over us. I mulled over this new side of Spot, the side I had never pictured was there. This Spot seemed human, not emotionless and ruthless. It was all of their conversation I had the energy to contemplate made a mental note to rethink things in the morning as I let my heavy lids close and sleep over take me.  
  
  
  
Falco: She is a big girl, she says she's glad you noticed! Spot and Cameo are starting to be pushed together just like I promised. What no waffles last time? (pouts) Glad you liked that last chapter.  
  
Cards: A vice for every card, and I'll take an update on World Pizza when ever you can! Thanks!  
  
Fearless: I read your story, I reviewed, I'll leave it at that because you already know I liked it. I am very glad you have liked both of my stories. I do much better with IM's than with e-mail is your IM at Yahoo or AIM? I loved your review. Thank you!  
  
Arlene: It is better to have a late review than not have one at all. He he he, thank you, I am really flattered. I am very glad you have liked this story so far. I have, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who is amused by it.  
  
Chelci: Okay you twisted my arm, a little Glimmer/Spot emotional moment, I'm not sure that is exactly what you were looking for, but hey I tried! Hope you enjoyed it!  
  
JP: I miss you! (sniffle, sniffle) I'll write you an e-mail soon if I don't talk to you sooner. I left you speechless? (gasps) He he, well I'm glad you like it! I can't wait for more of your story.  
  
Ali: Wow, what a compliment. I liked my story, but I never dreamed it would have that effect on anyone, are you sure you don't just have newsies on the brain anyway? Thank you very much for that awesome review... I'm flattered really I am. (trys to get head through the door and fails) See what you did? You created a monster.  
  
Dreamer: The chapters.. are ...(smacks head and writes a few more words as the muses keep whispering.. At least I think those are muses.) coming. Sorry, late night. I'm doing a jig for joy to Scotland the Brave as I write my thank yous for this review. 


	16. At the Crossroad

Sorry I didn't update sooner. I wanted to get this right so I didn't upload it last night, instead I held onto it until I was satisfied enough to post it. Hope you enjoy it!  
  
I woke groggily to knocking on the door; I shook my head surprised Kloppman was knocking so gently. Normally it was with a banging that came close to knocking the door off its hinges. My eyes focused and I realized with a start I wasn't back at the Lodging House. Mimic was wiping the sleep from his eyes in the cute manner that only a small kid can do. The night's events rushed back at me like the water funneling down a water slide. I was in Brooklyn, I had been tricked into coming and had gotten attacked, Spot had rescued me. Damn, I owed him again.  
  
"Cameo?" Glimmer asked as she opened the door and stuck her head inside. "Get dressed, Jack and the others are here."  
  
I nodded as I mulled over what had happened. I shoed Mimic out of the room and set about getting ready, my brain over turning all that had happened trying to put it all in perspective. There was a lot for my brain to process.  
  
The Brooklyn newsies were leaving as I made my way down the stairs, they moved with less enthusiasm than they usually did. The loss of one of their own seemed to have hit them hard. Five faces looked at me from the table in the common room and watched me walk toward them. Spot, Glimmer, Mush, Blink, and Crutchy were all gathered around the table and all looked to me as I paused on the last few stairs. I felt uncomfortable under their gaze. Glimmer offered me a small smile and I returned it, thankful for it. Jack watched me with an unreadable expression, the other boys looked at me uneasily. They had something to tell me that I wasn't going to like, I could see it in their faces.  
  
"Ya know why we're all here Cameo?" Spot asked I looked at him dread making my stomach twist. I shook my head unable to say anything; I knew I had acted stupidly last night. I felt the fear that followed remembering how quick Jack had been to decide to kick me out of the Lodging House in the beginning. I hoped that wasn't what this little get together was about. My mind raced trying to figure out exactly what they were there for besides the fact I could have gotten myself killed last night.  
  
"We're tryin to decide what to do with ya." He continued, I remembered the conversation from last night, the words he had spoken to Glimmer, the side of him that had been deeply hidden. I wish I had never heard it. It made him human; it made me unable to categorize him as an ass that deserved a verbal beating. It made it so much easier to like him, something I was fighting to keep myself from doing. It made him deserving of affection, and I knew my heart was more than willing to give it to him. My mind however thankfully was the one in control.  
  
"And what have you decided?" I asked smoothly, the china doll expression on my face as I waited for his response. I wasn't about to stay in Brooklyn, whether it was for my own good or not. I would not let myself be so close to Spot. I was just starting to gain control over my renegade emotions in his absence. My world was just starting to take on some order.  
  
"I think ya gonna have to stay here with me." Spot said searching my face as he said it. I said nothing for a moment, just looked at each of them who nodded with various degrees of reluctant agreement.  
  
"I'm not going to stay here." I replied my face still held emotionless; I looked to Jack who shook his head before speaking. He knew my tone, it meant I was going to be stubborn, I wouldn't back down until I had either gotten my way or they managed to convince me it was really a good idea.  
  
"Cameo, ya better off here with Spot he can protect you like the rest of us can't." He told me his voice trying to get me to see reason. "I got me own reputation, but when it comes to fighting Spot's got the best."  
  
"Must be from short man syndrome." I said wryly. "He spent too much time being short before he got his growth spurt."  
  
Spot glared at me and I gave him that sweet smile that meant trouble. They all recognized it only Spot welcomed it. He shot me a challenging smirk that was calculated to irritate me. If there was one thing we had learned that day we spent fighting it was how to get on each other's last nerve.  
  
"I'll take my chances Jack." I said in a tone that told I wouldn't be argued with. That spoke in volumes of my stubbornness.  
  
"Ya gonna stay here." Jack snapped slamming his hand down on the table. "I've let ya run wild Cameo, I've let ya have ya way more than once, but I'm gonna put my foot down. Ya my newsie and I ain't gonna let ya get hurt. We're doin this for ya own good."  
  
"For my own good?" I snapped back "for my own good. No would not be good for me to stay here. Thank you for your concern, but I don't need your help."  
  
"Ya need help Cameo." Blink told me softly "We could try to protect you, but your safest bet is with Spot."  
  
"I'm not willing to gamble my soul." I said bitterly. ". I can't take fighting with the arrogant bastard for as long as it takes for this mess to get sorted out. I'll be fine on my own; I don't need a man to protect me. I'm not like the whimpering fools of this time that cower in a corner the minute a man raises his voice. My life has never revolved around a man and I'm not going to start now. I'm not asking anyone to take on my problems, but me.  
  
"Like ya didn't need a man last night?" Spot broke in. "Like ya took care of yaself last night? If it weren't for me, girl, ya would have been raped and left for dead."  
  
I looked at him mutinously, but didn't answer he continued on frustrated by my look. He was right I couldn't dispute it. I had needed him last night, but I wasn't about to admit it. He looked at me for a moment then sighed throwing up his hands in frustraition.  
  
" Ya don't get it do ya? Ox killed one of my newsies last night. Killed him for the humiliation Quill brought on him. Now who do ya think he's gonna go after next?"  
  
"I don't know Spot, why don't you be the genius and explain it to my feeble mind." I growled. I expected his anger, I hoped for his anger, the look of understanding made me want to bite something. He knew what I was feeling I could see my emotions reflected in his eyes. I didn't want his understanding I wanted him angry, I wanted him to wash his hands of me so I might be free. So that those beautiful eyes would stop haunting me, that his kisses might be erased.  
  
"He's gonna come after you." was all Spot said. " An if he's a real idiot he'll come after me."  
  
"Well I can't say I could give him points in the intelligence category." I muttered.  
  
"Ya'll be better off here." Mush offered his usually cheerful look replaced with a worried one. It was a point that everyone had brought up, it was one I couldn't argue, but I was being backed into a corner. My fate being decided for me as I watched and I had no say. It had irked me that I had been sent here in the first place without a choice; now that I was here I didn't have a choice. I hated fate, I wanted to beat my hands against the web of life that was being spun by a force I couldn't see, that was guiding me to a destination I didn't know if I wanted to end up at.  
  
"Crutchy." I cried turning to my last hope, if anyone Crutchy would be against this. He looked up at me the look of helpless anger made my heart sink.  
  
"I can't argue with it Cameo, they's right." Crutchy said the words as if they burned his tongue. "I tried already."  
  
"It ain't that bad Cameo." Mush said gently as I sat trying to accept my sentence. I took a deep breath and nodded my reluctant acceptance. What other choice did I have? I hated that rhetorical question, but unfortunately it was too true. Spot tried to hide the triumphant smile, he had won, and he knew it.  
  
"We better get back to Manhattan." Jack sighed in relief standing, his newsies following suite. "We still got papes to sell today."  
  
"If things get bad here, ya let me know." Crutchy told me softly as he passed by, patting my back in reassurance. I didn't respond and he waited for a moment before making his way to the door. I could hear his awkward steps fading as Blink and Mush both approached me.  
  
"We are gonna keep our promise Cameo." Mush told me squatting down so he was eye level with me. I looked into his warm eyes and then up at Blink who squeezed my shoulder.  
  
"We ain't gonna let him hurt ya." Blink added. "We'll be here every day to see how things is goin."  
  
I nodded not smiling and they took what they could get before they left. Jack gave no words of advice or encouragement as he followed the last of the boys. One of the Brooklyn newsies appeared from a small room to our right and handed Mimic off to Jack. Jack took Mimic's hand firmly in his own before the kid had a chance to run to me. Mimic gave me a waive, I was sure he did not understanding what was happening. I knew the boys would have played it up to keep the curious and overly excitable boy from getting worried. Finally only Glimmer, Spot and I were left in the room.  
  
"We aint' sellin today, but tomorrow ya'll come out with me." Spot told me before he meandered in the direction of the door.  
  
"Oh, I don't think I can wait until tomorrow. I get to sell with you really?" I asked clapping my hands my words dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"Ya ain't goin anywhere without one of me boys or me personally with you." Spot said ignoring my words. He shut the door behind him, I growled in frustration wanting to throw something. I couldn't even get a rise out of him; I couldn't funnel my frustration and anger into him as I usually did. I had no outlet and I was ready to bite something. Glimmer put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and I forced myself to relax.  
  
"Well let's get you settled in." she said smiling at me with a cheer I knew she wasn't feeling. Too many clouds were settled over today, too much sorrow to sort through. I thought about Quill, about the young boy who I had attempted to save and in the end failed. I wondered if there would be a service for him, if we would be allowed to give our final respects to a boy we hardly knew, but had accepted as one of our own.  
  
"Glimmer, what happened to Quill, will there be a funeral?" I asked as I followed her up the stairs.  
  
"No," she said grimly her hand clutching the banister for a moment. "The bulls found him before we could take him. He'll probably be buried some time today or tomorrow in an unmarked grave, another unknown street rat killed in a scuffle."  
  
I felt the bitterness she did and it threatened to choke me as I set about helping her. We cleaned side by side neither of us speaking both of us trying to loose ourselves on work so we would not have to think about things.  
  
I was nearly exhausted as the day came to a close, the sunset staining the sky with color of red and gold's. I slipped out the back door of the Lodging House and made my way to the docks wanting for a moment to sit and watch the sky. To have a moment to reflect on Quill's life, what little I knew and pray he found peace. I knew I wasn't supposed to wonder off by myself, but I needed a moment without someone hovering. It was making me more irritable than usual.  
  
I didn't see Spot sitting at the end of the dock until it was too late, he was half hidden behind a crate that sat against the post that held the dock up. I froze, he had to have heard me come up, I hadn't been trying to sneak up on him and had lumbered up the wooden structure like an elephant. He looked like the confused and lost boy he was instead of the powerhouse Brooklyn leader I knew so well. This was the side I had gotten a glimpse of in Central Park and last night as he talked with Glimmer. He made me want to comfort him.  
  
A sketchpad lay across his lap, a charcoal pencil clutched in his hand. I was surprised; Spot didn't strike me as the artist type, the boxing type maybe, the professional wrestler minus the steroid enhanced muscles perhaps, but not an artist.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I sat on the end of the dock leaving as much space as I could between us. I was trying to break the awkward moment by saying the first thing that came to mind.  
  
"I could ask you the same question." He replied coolly, his hand frozen over the paper. "I thought I told ya I didn't want ya goin anywhere with out me or my boys."  
  
"The hovering bit was getting old." I told him simply knowing I had intentionally disobeyed him. I wasn't going to make excuses; I had done what I had done.  
  
"Look we gonna get one thing straight here." Spot snapped, "Ya gotta do what I tell ya, or ya gonna get yaself killed."  
  
"I'm not afraid of death." I responded calmly, he looked up at me sharply and took a quick breath as he saw the truth in my eyes. I was a person who did not fear death I courted it. I wasn't the suicidal type in the conventional sense, but I didn't usually care if I lived or if I died. That was where my courage came from, that was why I had jumped into a loosing battle and brought most of these problems to Spot's door. That and the fact I couldn't stand to see another in pain. I had spent too much time fighting pain to sit by and watch someone else live in it. He knew what it was to feel those feelings, he knew what it was to not really care, but he had a sister that adored him. It gave him something to keep going for, me I had memories and loneliness.  
  
My gaze shifted to his sketchpad and he looked from it to me. I let a smirk play on my lips and his face darkened.  
  
" Ya gonna run off to tell everyone?" he growled the pencil in his hand looking ready to snap under the pressure of his hand  
  
"You couldn't stop me if you tried." I challenged, but I could see the fear in his eyes. I took the sketchpad from his hand and he made no move to stop me. I glanced at the notepad and found an incredible sketch of Quill on the top page. Flipping through it I found more sketches of people, some he had to have sketched as they were passing by. I had begun in the back after seeing Quill's portrait. The next few pictures much to my shock were of me. I glanced at him quickly; he looked back at me emotionlessly and shrugged. An artist draws as he sees someone, and the portraits he drew couldn't have been more flattering if they had been professional pictures at one of those places you pay to make you look like a model. It made me wonder, but I pushed those thoughts away, they were dangerous.  
  
He was watching me warily. If I told anyone about this his reputation would be ruined, he would be labeled a wimp and ousted. Had it been anyone, but the hard as nails leader of Brooklyn who relied on his reputation to keep both his newsies and the other newsies of New York in line, it would have been ignored. The newsies would have teased him and let it go, but Spot, he would be humiliated. His enemies and his friends alike would suddenly see him as human and not the enigma that was Spot. I had a feeling that there were many people who would love to get their hands on that information.  
  
"Go ahead, tell my boys that I draws in me spare time." Spot snapped "Go on, I'm not stopping ya."  
  
I was stung, I had wanted to comfort him, wanted to reach out to the lost soul I had seen sitting here alone. He had looked like the lost boy who had been forced to grow up too fast instead of the overly confident leader he forced himself to be.  
  
"If that's how you want it." I replied starting to push myself up. I stopped as he placed a restraining hand gently on my thigh. I shut the sketchpad and handed it back, he accepted it gratefully. We looked at each other the silence between us almost deafening.  
  
It was one of those moments where time stands still and the scene you have before you are forever imprinted upon your brain. Like a mental snap shot that you may take out and enjoy or it may haunt you for life. I knew I would remember the way the water lapped at the dock and the sun made the water turn to molten gold. I would remember the way his head was tilted, his hat gone and his dark blonde hair as golden as the water in the fading sunlight. I would remember the flash of longing as I looked upon that face noting the masks of arrogance and self-certainty gone.  
  
I knew I was at a crossroad of sorts. I could flee and he wouldn't stop me, he would let me go or I could stay. If I stayed I would loose the battle that had been raging inside me from the moment we had met. I wanted to run, my instincts telling me to do just that, but I couldn't, I could see the frustration, anger, and pain on his face. It tore at my heart, and I forced myself to cover his hand with mine and give it a gentle squeeze telling him without words I understood. He looked at me for a moment before withdrawing his hand. He opened the sketchpad and gave the drawing another few strokes shading as he finished them.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said softly as he continued to draw. " I ain't ever let anyone, but Glimmer catch me drawin, an well I'm used to fightin with ya."  
  
"You're talented." I told him not knowing what else to say.  
  
"Thanks." I saw a bit of color creep into his cheeks and was amazed that the infallible Spot Conlon was sitting next to me blushing. Silence fell between us and he looked out at the water his face full of sorrow and self- recrimination. I knew that look, I knew what dark road it could lead you down.  
  
"It wasn't your fault you know." I said trying to sooth away the pain that I could not help reacting to.  
  
"It is my fault." His voice was bitter. I looked away as I saw him fighting with the tears that glistened in his eyes; he brushed at them angrily as man does when he doesn't want to someone to see him cry. "I'm the leader, it's my job to make sure my newsies is taken care of, is safe. I failed him."  
  
I gently put a hand to his cheek turning his face so he was eye to eye with me. I looked into his face, the smirk was gone, his mouth pursed in pain and anger, his hair gleaming golden in the light, his bright eyes the color of flames. Blue was the hottest burning flame next to white, I thought. I was suddenly reminded of the archangel Michael. Michael Conlon, it fit. His creed was to take care of his own, his vow to help the weak, his life devoted to the people he called family, his arms willing to comfort the lost, his strength a sight to behold.  
  
"You can't save everyone." I whispered too entranced by the hypnotizing effect of his eyes to speak any louder. Instinctively I reached out and brushed at the hair at his temple in a comforting gesture. He caught my wrist, his look was serious and I could see the softening of his eyes and mouth.  
  
We sat both of us like statues, each afraid to break another moment when our masks were down and our walls were breach able. Without taking his eyes from mine he gently kissed the hand that he held. The familiar shiver ran down my spine, his sketchpad fell from his lap as he moved closer to me, one hand snaking around my neck, the other curling around my waist, both pulling me in for a kiss. I was lost, drowning in the emotions he evoked just as I had that night in Central Park. The kiss was heated, as we both fought to use it as a way to forget the world, to forget the pain and frustration that the world perpetually left us in. As we each fought to loose ourselves in the other. I felt the rough boards beneath me and knew Spot was leaning above me. I tried to reach for common sense, but with Spots lips against mine I couldn't. One hand was held tightly in my hair, the other caressing my neck. His lips followed his hand and though it brought a fire raging within me it allowed my brain to function at least a little.  
  
I heard a bird call across the water and my mind broke entirely free taking control of my heart. I rolled from beneath him, anger and shame filling me. What was wrong with me? Why did I ask myself that so much when he was around? Why was it he could make all thoughts fly from my head? Why did I come close to breaking all my personal vows?  
  
"You mistake me for one of your easy companions." I said bitterly trying to get to my feet. He stopped me, I couldn't move, his iron grip holding both of my arms.  
  
" I don't believe you are one of my easy girls." Spot told me as I twisted trying to get free. "Though ya act like it."  
  
"How romantic Spot, when are you going to start spouting poetry?" I growled still working to free myself. I was angry with myself, at the shame that filled me, at what I would have allowed him. He made me forget everything including the very promises I had made to myself. " Here I'll give your first one it's title..... Ode to a whore."  
  
"Whatta ya want me to say Cameo, ya have no sense of modesty, "Spot cried tightening his grip. "Ya have no sense of decency, ya don't know when to keep ya mouth shut, ya kiss like a girl who knows what she's doin. Ya gonna surprise me and tell me ya a virgin?"  
  
I fell silent unsure of how to answer that, I wasn't, but in my time that wasn't the crime it was here.  
  
"Just because I know how to kiss and I'm not well.... not a virgin doesn't make me a whore Spot." I finally whispered, tears were in my eyes as I looked at him. I had never felt as cheap as I did then, not even that day at Tibby's could rival this. He looked a little disappointed as I admitted that I hadn't saved myself. .  
  
" I'm not going to be another girl you use and let go when you get bored. I won't let myself."  
  
"So that's what this has been about." Spot said a knowing and superior voice, "Ya wanted me all along, but ya don't want to want me."  
  
"Your self assurance astounds me." I muttered again unable to deny his words. I continued letting what I hadn't even told Crutchy to pour forth, feeling the weight of it, knowing Spot probably wouldn't understand, but needing to explain it anyway "I'm not going for a roll in the hay with you so you may as well give it up. I didn't have enough respect for myself when I was younger. I was stupid and believed the smooth words of men I thought loved me. I listened to their words of affection and believed them. I was naive and stupid. I won't make that mistake again. I won't allow myself to be used again."  
  
The pain in my words was enough to make Spots eyes to darken in pity. I didn't want his pity. It was my turn to look out over the water until Spot pulled my chin around and up so I was eye-to-eye with him. His face showed none of the arrogance from earlier.  
  
"Look Briar, I ain't gonna use ya." Spot told me. I could see the promise shining in his eyes. He meant what he said, I knew that he wouldn't use me, not on purpose, but what happened when I no longer was one of the few girls that denied him? What happened when I was no longer a challenge? What would he do when the novelty that was me wore off?  
  
"You want what you can't have." I replied struggling to pull myself away. "It's the basis of my appeal. I think we should stay as we are."  
  
His lips met mine and I felt myself slipping, my arms sliding around his neck, my body fitting against his as if it were made to be there.  
  
"I don't agree." he whispered against my lips, gently he pushed my mused hair from my face. "I don't wantta let ya go."  
  
"I bet you say that to all the girls." I said lamely, the rest of my retort was forgotten as he kissed me again.  
  
"Ya can't deny that Briar." He whispered in my ear before standing scooping his sketchpad from the docks. "Don't even try, I won't believe you."  
  
I was silent as I watched him look down at me. He held out his hand and I took it allowing him to help me up.  
  
"Let's go, I ain't leavin ya out here by yaself." He told me "Ya shouldn't have been out here by yaself anyway, it's a good thing I was here or ya woulda gotten a good yellin."  
  
"Oh no, you would have yelled at me." I laughed widening my eyes in mock fear. "I'm shaking."  
  
He rolled his eyes and took my hand pulling me down the dock toward the Lodging House. I let him, enjoying the feeling of his fingers entwined with mine. I wasn't going to cave, but I could enjoy the moment couldn't I?  
  
  
  
JP: Okay the dreaded romantic chapter. What do you think, please tell me I am not getting too sappy in my lack of sleep.  
  
Card: I wrote more, now it's your turn  
  
Chelci: I'm glad you liked it, I tried to keep things platonic between Spot and his sister because.. Well, that's just wrong!  
  
Ali: Okay hopeless romantic, they're not exactly together yet, but much closer!  
  
Falco: Sorry, but it was just the perfect opportunity and well..... You're right poor Quill. Hope you liked this one as well.  
  
Indy: Thank you I'm glad you have enjoyed this so far. I hope for another review to tell me what you think of this.  
  
Dreamer: Wow you have a favorite chapter? Cool! Hope you enjoyed this one. 


	17. The Problem with Brooklyn

Life becomes a pattern, ever weaving, ever turning, and yet coming back upon itself in a new way. I have so forgotten myself in my personal tale I am leaving out the rest. Sugar coating and glossing over what the time was like making it seem as if my actions to the past in the way I would act in the future did not have much effect, but they did. Oh how they did.  
  
My days began to blend together as I settled into the Brooklyn Lodging House as best I could. I woke up in the morning to sell papers with Spot, I returned home after the last of the evening edition had been sold and I disappeared into Glimmers' room, which we were now sharing, or to the fire escape. I avoided the Brooklyn Newsies and they seemed happy with that.  
  
The difference between Manhattan and Brooklyn was like night and day. The Manhattan Newsies had accepted me, they thought I was mentally imbalanced, but they had accepted me despite it. Brooklyn was another matter, they too thought I was imbalanced, but they didn't accept me they shunned me. I was a woman, they were men, and for them there could be no middle ground. I dressed like a man, spoke like a man, acted like a man and carried myself with an arrogance they didn't like.  
  
I had power and power in a woman was not to be tolerated, it demeaned the masculinity of the male race. It usurped their power and brought women equal to them. There was no equality in this time; there were no women's rights. I had forgotten that in the leniency of Manhattan, ignoring the irritated looks when I did or said something that showed my lack of understanding of a woman's proper place. For Manhattan there was no middle ground either, but they let most of my antics go because they were amusing. The fact that I had made friends with some of the most well respected newsies helped as well. This was a time where if a woman was beaten she deserved it and if woman was raped she must have brought it upon herself, she must have pushed him to it in some way.  
  
My mode of dress was a man's and it did not sit well with them. They looked on my as dangerous, with a fear of women making themselves equal sitting in their bellies like lead. I was looked on like a suffragette though I had made no move to attended the rallies and parades that had sprung up of late. Yes, the turn of the century would bring with it woman's rights, but it was also a dangerous time to be a woman of the future. For all those rights that were being fought for that I had taken for granted in my time were not instated yet. Though the suffragettes were fighting it wouldn't be for another seventeen years that women would even win the ability to vote in the state of New York. To the men that surrounded me day in and day out I was a constant reminder at the way women were changing.  
  
To top it off I was looked on as a Jezebel; for my forwardness with the male race, for my wry and bawdy humor. Everyone had seen my display with Ox, everyone had seen me act in an unseemly manner and they assumed the worst about me. I was not a woman to be controlled, I as not a woman to be meek and take what they said like it or not. I was a woman who had defied their leader and was one who had been seen kissing their leader. I had been groped when Spot was not around, taunted and insulted. It was not a pleasant position to be in.  
  
I will reiterate that the Manhattan boys had spoiled me as I had been amusing enough for them to allow me to do as I pleased, but Brooklyn was not amused. As time went on I began to wonder if Manhattan had the same view, if I had been so blinded by their tolerance I had missed the fact that they believed the worst of me as the Brooklyn newsies did. The thought was depressing.  
  
As for Glimmer, well Glimmer was different than I was. She had been a tomboy all of her life and had been raised with most of these boys who looked upon her like a little sister. Add that to the fact she was Spot Conlon's sister, the fact that only Spot had the authority to reprimand her actions or dress and she had a lot more freedom than was allowed to me. They didn't approve, but their affection for her made them treat her like the Manhattan Newsies treated me.  
  
I watched Glimmer in the common room with them hungrily wishing I too could be a part of everything that was happening, but when I entered the room everyone hushed. I wasn't allowed to join in the poker games or any of the other fun that went on. I heard their whispers when I talked with Spot and knew what they thought.  
  
Manhattan thought I was witty and amusing, Brooklyn thought I was a loud mouth and obnoxious. Manhattan didn't like the way I dressed, but accepted it because it kept them from having to defend me on the streets like they would have if I had been dressed in skirts. Brooklyn didn't accept it, not a day passed by when I didn't hear a taunt on my mode of dress or my "purity" questioned.  
  
Glimmer split her attention between helping Spot and the moments she could steal away with Skittery. Spot was oblivious caught in the dispute with the leader of the Bronx over his newsie, Ox. It didn't help that they knew Spot didn't think much more of my morals on the subject of sex than they did. I was a bad girl, eventually I had a feeling they would ignore Spot's momentary claim on me. I could see it in their eyes when I found the courage to venture from Glimmers room or the fire escape. It was only a matter of time before the restraint of the newsies broke; I knew I was in danger. However, this didn't stop me from taunting them, stupid, as it was it didn't.  
  
"Why don't ya get a skirt?" I heard a voice taunt as I made my way past them to the stairs so I could disappear into Glimmer's room. It had been a hard selling day and Spot had made his way upstairs leaving me to finish my smoke on the stairs of the Lodging House confident if anything happened his boys would deal with it. I wondered if they actually would.  
  
"Why don't you?" I countered without even looking to see who the culprit was. I was tired of it all, I wanted to go home. Whether that was Manhattan or the future I didn't care as long as I was away from these bastards. Rough hands grabbed me about the waist and pulled me down onto their lap. Furious I struggled, but strong arms held me.  
  
"Ya too good for the likes of us?" the voice sneered. "Only Spot for ya, ya ain't willin to spread yaself around?"  
  
Turning I slapped the man who held me hard enough to leave a bright red handprint across his cheek. His self-satisfied look disappeared and I found myself tumbling to the ground as he stood. I pushed myself up raising my fist to protect myself from the black look he gave me.  
  
"Whatta ya say boys, we gonna let a woman act like she's a man?" he asked in a deadly calm voice as he reached for me.  
  
"No." I heard a few of the boys say. Others looked uneasy as they glanced around looking anywhere, but at me. I tried to dodge for the stairs, but found myself grabbed by my arm and pulled against the very newsie that had taunted me.  
  
"What's goin on here?" Spot stood at the top of the staircase looking down with an irate look on his face.  
  
"We's just havin a little fun boss." The man who held me said releasing me immediately. I stumbled back and landed hard on my rear. "It ain't fair all the girls ya got we ain't allowed a little fun."  
  
"Ya know ya ain't allowed to have fun with any of me girls until I'm through with them." Spot said as he reached the bottom of the stairs and took my arm. He pulled me to my feet and I looked at him gratefully. I wasn't happy with his choice of words, but if it got the boys to let me alone I'd take what I could get. The boys backed away from his menacing look and I sighed in relief. He glared at me and pulled me up the stairs. I didn't like the look on his face as he dragged me through the bunkroom to the small room he called his. He slammed the door shut; his hands rested upon the worn wood his head down for a moment before he turned to me.  
  
"Whatta ya doin while I haven't been around Cameo?" he asked the anger in his voice under tight control. I looked into those eyes that seemed to both burn and freeze at the same time and backed away.  
  
"What do you mean what have I been doing?" I answered with a question of my own.  
  
"I mean is ya so lonely ya givin yaself to others before ya even do to me?"  
  
I looked at him blankly; my heart felt like it had been delivered a deadly blow, tears filled my eyes. Fury and jealousy raged in his eyes, they filled my vision and I found I could not respond to that statement. His face darkened as if my silence had answered his question. His hands gripped my arms in a bruising grip as he brought his lips upon mine, his kiss just as bruising. His hands left my arms to wonder where I hadn't let him touch and I fought him the tears racing each other down my cheeks like the horses at the racetrack. Finally I broke away my flesh crawling from the manner in which he had touched me. His anger still hadn't abated and I backed away trying to edge my way to the door.  
  
"Ain't nobody gonna touch what's mine." He growled as he backed me against the wall, his hands slamming into it on either side of my head. "Ya mine whether ya like it or not. So tell me what you've been doin, be honest."  
  
"How dare you!" I cried raising my hand to afford his cheek the same punishment I had inflicted on the other boy down stairs. "How dare you, you asshole."  
  
"Come on Cameo, we both know ya don't always say no." he sneered "Ya admitted to me on the docks ya weren't savin yaself like a good girl."  
  
My heart crumbled like ashes brushed by the breeze, I hadn't done anything and I had a feeling that trying to convince him of that would be like trying to convince a pit bull he didn't want a bone.  
  
"I was not with any of your boys." I said softly. "Though your high opinion of me has given them the impression that I am a whore."  
  
"Your actions have given them that idea." Spot snapped. " We went through this, the way ya act makes everyone think ya one of those girls who believe a woman should be equal to a man. Who believe that they should do as a man does. My boys had been complainin to me all week."  
  
"Why shouldn't women be equal?" my voice rang out and the anger was building in me. "Women are not children to be lead around by the hand. We are just as smart as you, the only thing we are lacking is the strength. Which I believe we more than make up for it in brains."  
  
"I'll tell ya why they shouldn't because who's gonna raise the children? Who's gonna take care of the home, who's gonna do what needs to be done?" Spot threw at me.  
  
"They want to vote, what is the harm in them having a voice in the country they live in? " I responded, men could be so infuriatingly chauvinistic sometimes. "Voting is not going to keep them from their homes."  
  
I felt a little guilty as I said it because it was a lie, the suffragette movement would be the beginning of the fight for women's rights. Eventually it would lead to the career women of the Twentieth Century, but I couldn't very well tell him that.  
  
"It's just the beginning pretty soon they's gonna want to be takin over mens jobs and tryin to bring home the bacon. " he growled, I shook my head, if only he knew. " A woman's place is at home to take care of things that woman are best at, if that changes then America will go to hell in a hand basket."  
  
"Taking care of things at home is not a job women alone can handle, men can too." I cried. "Both the man and woman can. Marriage should be a partnership not a dictatorship."  
  
" Marriage is not a dictatorship Briar." He said softly as he looked out the window for a moment. "My father taught me that a woman's place is beside her husband, but my mother taught me that her role was harder than my father's ever was. Marriage is a partnership. The woman's role is no less difficult than the man's each has to work together to make a home. I had a home once, it's gone now, but one day I hope I can share that same partnership with someone else. Someone that does not fear marriage as a way of repression, but looks on it as the partnership it was meant to be. Do you wish to be a man Briar? Do ya wish to never experience life in the way it was meant to be lived? I don't hold nothing against a woman votin and I ain't desputin they's smart, I'm disputin the idea of them abandoning their homes to live as a man. 'Cause that's what's gonna happen, they're gonna leave their homes and the family as we know it's gonna fall apart."  
  
I was shocked to hear such a deep response some from him. Not that I doubted his intelligence, on the contrary. However, listening to the bad grammar day in and day out one tends to be surprised when the other speaks in an articulate manner.  
  
Listening to his words it hit me with a thought I had never allowed to surface. I had never wanted to be a career woman; I had never minded the traditional roles of man and woman. While I would never be the submissive twit, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother and wife. I had felt the tugging for so long, but had ignored them because in the future women were taught to reject the traditional roles, to become career women, to forget the age-old way that man and woman had split the chores of life. Was that what the gypsy had meant by I belonged here? That I was too spirited and free to fit into the Renaissance, but old fashioned enough I belonged in a time where the modern day and traditional day were melding together?  
  
"No," I said slowly trying out the feeling of the words I spoke. " I would love to be nothing more that, but I will not be dominated."  
  
"Ya ain't the type to live with a weak man Briar. So that leaves a man who is willin to let ya get away with a little bit, but not afraid ta tell ya off." He told me his look soft now as he looked down at me. "So tell me the boys has been lyin and ya haven't been doin anything behind me back?"  
  
I nodded; still stung he would have even thought it. His smile lit up his face and made me forget my anger in the joy of basking in it's light.  
  
"I'm sorry." He whispered as he kissed my forehead, part of me pushed to leave in a huff, though this time I listened instead to the smaller voice that told me to let it go. I knew how hard it was for him to apologize so I nodded and did as it instructed. Tears streaked my cheeks and sparkled in my eyes as he gently brushed them away with his knuckles. His kiss was as soft as his earlier had been hard, his fingers caressing my cheek as they brushed my hair back and tangled in my hair. I responded shyly afraid of what damage this kiss could do. I knew what he thought and I wanted to dispel those thoughts from his mind. I would keep my vows. His hands dropped to my waist and slid up my back to pull me into a tight embrace. My head fell back as he rained kissed down my throat, it took all my self- control to stop him just before he reached where my shirt began.  
  
"Michael." I whispered trying to pull back. It seemed right to call him that, Spot belonged to the newsies, but Michael could belong to me. He looked at me his look questioning; his surprise at his true name rolling off my lips in his eyes.  
  
He was as multifaceted as a gem, one minute the gentle man with the sweet kisses and caresses, another the hard man with glittering eyes, the artist who hurt so deeply for the friend he had lost, the fierce man who protected what was his, and another, a new one to add to the sides of him I had seen was the jealous man who would not allow what was his to be possessed by anyone else. I loved them all, I realized, the thought scared me as I had tried never to allow that kind of emotion to be directed towards a man. Yet somewhere in all our fighting I had fallen for him.  
  
" I'm not going to do this." I sighed pulling the collar of my shirt closed wishing with all my heart I could let him. Even if I hadn't made my personal vows, I found I wanted him to respect me and he wouldn't if I let him do, as he wanted. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine before releasing me.  
  
"I'm not going to be able to entirely change." I said softly afraid of how he might react to those words. " I am the way I am."  
  
"If ya weren't who would I have to knock me down a peg or two when I need it?" Spot replied grinning at me, " If ya ever get married Briar promise me ya'll marry a man that won't curb that spirit."  
  
"You just berated me for acting like a man." I cried.  
  
"Ya take it too far sometimes." Spot told me. " Ya gotta tone it down a bit, but I ain't gonna complain if ya speak ya mind. It's better than those idiot women who wander through here from time to time."  
  
"I man never be a lady as you know the definition Michael." I warned, as I started for the open window ready for the solitude of the roof. The fire escape was not enough there was much I needed to sort out. He let me go, studying me as I did. I swung my leg over the sill and did like wise with the other standing firmly on the fire escape.  
  
"Briar?" he called stopping me before I disappeared up the next set of stairs. I stopped and turned to look. His hair fell into his eyes and he brushed at it impatiently. "You're a lady, I'll soak anyone who says otherwise."  
  
"Explain that to your boys." I called as I continued up the stairs feeling like I as walking on air.  
  
  
  
I'm afraid I strayed from my first purpose and that was to demonstrate the difficulties that would arise from a person in the future living in the past. This is the biggest problem I figured Cameo would face. Hope it was good!  
  
  
  
Cards: Thank you for updating, now I'm going to be a brat and tell you to update again. Thanks for your review.  
  
Chelci: Honey I think that the time I'm trying for would have had you both hung, but I promise I will allow her to be more loving. (Just not in that way)  
  
Falco: (Crawls out from under the waffles and pixi sticks I'm buried under.) Got any tums? Thank you I hope you liked this chapter, it's on a much more serious note.  
  
Ali: I love you too! He he he, I know they are fighting again, but can life between Spot and Cameo ever be sickly sweet and happy? I don't think either of them would be happy with that. Hope it has enough romance for you though.  
  
Dreamer: Thank you your compliments are making me blush! I hope you enjoyed this one! 


	18. The leader of the Pack

The stars winked at me from inky blackness that was the sky. I lay back on the roof, my arms behind my head and allowed my mind to wonder. I didn't know what my life would bring or what was coming, but for now I was content. I wasn't sure where the feeling came from after all while things downstairs I doubted would change too much. Spot might tell his boys how to act, but that didn't mean they would listen. They just wouldn't repeat the mistake of getting caught. Spots reputation kept his boys in line I prayed he would use it to keep them at bay. Though I doubted it would do much good it would probably give them more reason to resent me. My head was starting to hurt as I let these thoughts chase each other through my mind. I knew Spot would protect me, I knew I was safe with him as long as his interest in me held.  
  
I was in love with him that thought made my mind swirl faster like water draining out of a bathtub. I didn't want to be in love with him, I hadn't asked for it, I hadn't wanted it, and I couldn't change it. I had thought the confusion after my mother's death horrible, but this was ten times worse. I had lost someone I loved then, now I stood the chance of loosing the first person I had allowed myself to love since, and not loosing him to the arms of death, though living as we were it was more of a concern that my mother had been. No I didn't have to worry about that as much as his ever-waning attention span. I wouldn't allow my self any illusions about what would happen. He would get bored after a while moving on to more interesting girls. Girls that were willing to give him what I would not.  
  
I closed my eyes against the thought hating the vulnerable position I was in, but unable to remove myself from it. I supposed my only hope was the amulet that lay safely below my bed in Manhattan. Safely hidden under the floorboards next to the bracelet that had already caused me troubles. I didn't know if I could leave, I didn't know if I could go without letting this romance play out. Without knowing if maybe this was the reason I had been sent to this place.  
  
Deep down I was a hopeless romantic that wished for a happily ever after, but I was also a cynic that didn't believe it. I supposed such was the enigma of me. I smiled at that thought delighted at the idea of being an enigma, even if only to myself. I knew I was ever a contradiction, hopeless romantic, cynic, dreamer, and realist, withdrawn, yet too involved. Morai had often commented on this and how chameleon like I was. She once told me I was like the Meredith Brookes song, Bitch, ever changing, yet always the same. I supposed it balanced me giving me the ability to use one or the other fragment of my personality to deal with whatever was thrown at me. If nothing else I have always been and always ill be a survivor, I would get through no matter what, as long as I could fight myself. I could be my own worst enemy.  
  
Spot's face filled my mind and I remembered that sweet smile that had made all thoughts fly from my head. Settling myself back and turning my attention to the stars again I let myself go, with an effort I stopped the tornado of thoughts and relaxed for the first time in a long time. I didn't know when I would have the moment again and I embraced it whole- heartedly. I let the arms of comfort wrap around me as I smiled that lazy smile of a dreamer. I heard the soft footfalls that padded across the roof telling me that someone was approaching. I tensed to spring up and looked to find Blink making his way toward me as Mush poked his head up, his arms braced on the roof's edge as he hoisted himself up.  
  
"Hello boys." I said giving them the smile of a person that has been starved for good companionship. I may have few friends in Brooklyn, but the friends that visited me from Manhattan would make up for it for now.  
  
"Is things goin okay now?" Blink asked softly as he sat next to me, his long legs bent, his arms casually resting against them. I knew I had been withdrawn at their daily visits often allowing them to sit with me, but not offering much more that that. I could see the surprise at the change in my attitude.  
  
"What makes you think things weren't going well?" I asked sharply, I had not wanted to involve them in my problems so I had not spoken of my difficulties.  
  
"We was beginin to wonder if we was goin to have to threaten Spot," Mush told me as he took a seat on my other side, his position a mirror of his friends. "We weren't sure though if ya were upset because of him or because of his boys."  
  
"It's fine now." I replied dismissively, Mush raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head looking out over the sea of rooftops before responding.  
  
"Is it?" he finally questioned still not looking at me as if not looking at me would make me answer him.  
  
"There was nothing wrong really to begin with." I snapped, I didn't want to talk about it, I had handled it and if anything else continued on, well I would deal with that too. What is it with men? When you need some advise or help they don't have the attention span of a flea, but when you don't want to talk about it they are like a bloodhound on the sent of a fox.  
  
What is it with women who don't accept help when it's offered? A small voice in my head asked. I ignored it preferring to be stubborn about the male race's downfalls rather than look at my own.  
  
"You ain't......you and Spot ain't......." Blink coughed delicately before continuing, blood rushed to my face before he even finished. "Well, what I mean is.... you aren't......"  
  
"Sleeping together, having sex, committing the sin of fornication?" I supplied. "Take your pick any of them will work. If I was what business of yours would it be?"  
  
"We aint' sayin ya are, we're just worried, there's been rumors." Mush said coming to the defense of his friend. "Besides ya seem happy all of a sudden."  
  
I shook my head in disgust and looked away tears coming to my eyes. You were right that small vicious voice that plagued me with doubts and problems whispered in my ear. They think the worst of me, they believe just as I had feared.  
  
What the hell does it matter? I asked myself trying to steel my heart, trying to brush it off. I don't care what they think I don't need them. Yet it didn't stop my heart from feeling more bruised and battered than it already was. The argument raged inside me as I tried to convince myself it didn't matter, that none of it mattered, that I didn't care. It was harder to do now than it had been only a short time ago.  
  
"So you listen to the rumors instead of defending me?" I cried. "And just because I am happy to finally see a friendly face does not mean I've gotten laid."  
  
Mush's face looked like I had slapped him as he caught the pain I tried to hide in my voice. I tried to ignore it, just as I tried to fight the tears, but since I had appeared here I had begun loosing my iron tight grip on my emotions. Walls had tumbled, floods had washed my face with salty tears and I found it harder and harder to regain control the more I acknowledged my feelings. It was as if a floodgate had been opened and I could not bring back what had been let out, nor could I stop more from escaping.  
  
"That's why we's askin ya." Blink replied his face as emotionless as Mush's was pained.  
  
"No, I'm not screwing him, I'm not a whore, I'm not a slut and I do have some respect for myself." I screamed unable to take it any longer. I had been physically molested, taunted and pushed for too long. I had been backed into corners to be saved by footsteps that had made them run, I had been ridiculed, and I had enough of it. It was too bad there were no lawyers to run to that would sue for sexual harassment. Too bad there was no such thing as sexual harassment. Every woman was a man's for the taking unless she was lucky enough to have another man to defend her. I had no brothers except those who sat before me, I had no father that could protect me, and I had no husband that left me fair game. I was not used to this way of thinking and I was tired of it!  
  
The past few weeks had been hell and now that I seemed to be getting a handle on the situation. Two of the best friends I had ever had were asking me the same questions with the same low opinion. I snapped, I stood angrily pacing to the edge of the roof and back enjoying the heady, dizzy, feeling I got as I turned on my heel, just at the edge. I heard Blink and Mush gasp the first time. Glancing up I saw Mush looked queasy and pale as I did it again at the other end.  
  
"We didn't mean nothing by it." Mush said softly. "Would ya come and sit back down please."  
  
"No, I will not sit down." I snapped. "Tell me is it because you men can not handle seeing a strong, powerful woman? Do you feel that if she is powerful she must have used sex to get there? Or is it just that you can't deal with it so you must degrade her to make yourselves feel better?"  
  
"It was just a question." Blink cried looking at me with his one good eye a frustrated look up on his face.  
  
" No it was not just a question, it is the reason for the hell I have been living in since you dumped me here." I replied, " it is the reason for the boys downstairs who have grabbed at parts I wouldn't let them touch other wise, the times I have been backed into corners waiting for some guy to take more than I'm willing to give, the times I have been ridiculed and taunted. The times I have cried myself to sleep wondering if you really thought of me as the boys downstairs do. As a whore who talks too much and acts too much like a man. A woman who needs to be taught a lesson, who needs to be shoved back down into her place which should be ten feet below your exalted selves."  
  
"We don't think like that." Mush looked stunned as my angry words sunk in, as he realized what I had been dealing with. Suddenly seeing the reasons for my silence and withdrawal.  
  
"Don't you?" I countered, giving him a look that told him I didn't' believe him. "That isn't what your words said."  
  
"Look, we know Spot, we know he can be one smooth bastard. He's gotten under the skin of the most innocent girls; he's made them want what they shouldn't have and enjoyed every minute of it. " Mush told me, Blink nodded his agreement and took up where Mush left off.  
  
" I remember one girl who was hot for the convent, it took Spot a matter of weeks. They was a challenge to him, an there ain't nothin Spot loves more than a challenge. He prides himself on bein able to have any girl he wants."  
  
" Our question didn't have to do with ya bein a good girl or not, it had to do with if Spot was takin advantage of ya or not." Mush sighed, his face set in a worried look. " We know ya have feelins for him an we don't want ta see ya get hurt. Remember we promised we wouldn't let him hurt you."  
  
I felt myself shrink like a balloon that has had the air let out of it. I felt the shame and the hurt of my own assumptions. Here I had been acting all high and mighty and their question had been one of concern not one of censorship of my actions.  
  
"What makes you think I have feelings for him?" I asked softly. Mush gave me a sad smile, as he replied.  
  
"It's been right in front of our noses since ya met him." He told me. "Anyone with half a brain could see ya hot for each other."  
  
"I am sorry." I whispered as I sat a few feet from them, my own self- damnation worse than any attack they could have launched on me in retribution for my words.  
  
"Hey it's okay." Blink told me coming to sit next to me his arm wrapping around me in comfort. " We knew that Brooklyn can be a hard place, but we never thought you'd have the problems ya described."  
  
"Forget it." I sighed. Their words were flying around in my head just as my own thoughts had been earlier. I forced myself to look at them and absorbed them. I couldn't afford to allow the dreamer side to get away with herself. I forced myself to see Spot as they saw him to accept that it was one way our story could end. One way I half expected anyway. Spot loved a challenge did he? Well this was on challenge he wouldn't win and one girl he couldn't have. Not unless he got down on one knee and actually made it to the church which I didn't see happening. Spot would probably never be a one-woman man. Though his speech earlier about wanting a family made me wonder. I supposed if the right woman came along, he might settle down and if that woman came along I would be the first person to shake her hand.  
  
"There's some whisky downstairs, ya look like ya could use a shot." Blink said as he stood reaching a hand down to help me up. I smiled and accepted his help. We all moved to the edge of the roof, Mush jumping to the fire escape below reaching his hands up to help me down. For the first time in as long as I could remember I didn't jump past help, I lowered myself enough to allow him to grip my waist in strong hands and set me on the fire escape gently.  
  
"Thanks." I told him as I brushed past him and into the window of the bunkroom. I ignored the smirks of those who lounged around and continued on to the door. As I reached it I heard the cries of excitement coming from downstairs signaling yet another of the many fights that broke out in this rough and tumble Lodging House. Mush and Blink grinned as we jogged down the stairs stopping when we reached where the Brooklyn newsies had taken cover on the edge of the stairs and around the room creating a ring for the two guys who were facing off.  
  
To my surprise I saw Spot and the boy who had molested me earlier. Spot's fists struck with deadly accuracy before his opponent even knew they were coming. I had seen him fight before, but had not the luxury of truly watching him; we had after all been in a darkened alleyway. He moved with the grace of a dancer, with a grace like that of the man who had taught me to sword fight. It was the gait of a born fighter. I had no doubt that if Spot had been born in the Renaissance he would have been a knight of renown fighting skills. His opponent threw a few useless punches toward Spots face only one getting through and grazing his face. He ignored it as if it had never happened and threw another volley of punches that left his adversary laying on the ground gasping for breathe, trying to wipe the blood from his broken nose and split lip.  
  
"Ya had enough or do I have to keep going?" Spot asked again reminding me of the archangel Michael, as he seemed to tower over his foe, his foot on the boys back holding him from getting up. He looked like a man who had conquered and I knew at that moment why he had become the leader of Brooklyn. His eyes met mine as I stood on the stairs and I could have sworn they softened for a moment. He nodded to me and I pushed through the crowd as he crooked his finger in a gesture for me to come closer. The crowd parted some of the boys giving me looks of distaste as I passed, but I ignored them for the pair of eyes that were connected to mine. I looked down at the pitiful boy who had been so menacing earlier when confronted with me.  
  
"Apologize." Spot spat as he stepped back, I watched as the boy pushed himself to his hands and knees shaking his head. He looked back up at me with hatred flaring in his eyes.  
  
"No." he hissed "I'm not gonna apologize for treatin a whore like what she is."  
  
Spot's foot connected brutally in his stomach making the breath explode from his lungs.  
  
"I said apologize." Spot ordered again his voice telling the boy he was at the end of his rope.  
  
"I ain't gonna tell her I'm sorry." He cried when he could breath again. " I ain't gonna apologize for doin what ya should've been man enough to do. Instead ya let her run around here like she was a man. She ain't, she's a woman and she needs to be taught how a woman acts. I'd do it again, only this time I'd finish what I started."  
  
He spat meaning to spit on me, but it landed inches from my shoes. I had to look away as Spot attacked him, like a berserker in a Viking army. Finally the some of his boys pulled him off still kicking and struggling to continue his attack on the unconscious boy who lay on the floor. Finally he seemed to get control over himself, and he shrugged the arms off that held him.  
  
"Get him out of here." He growled "He ain't one of Brooklyn's anymore. I catch any of you bums so much as lookin at him I'll soak ya too. I'll kill any one of ya who ever challenges my authority. I'm the leader, I am Brooklyn until I decide other wise an don't ya ever forget it. As for Cameo, I'll kill the next man who touches her. "  
  
No one would look him in the eye and I was sharply reminded of the alpha male wolf surveying his pack. I half expected them to get on the ground and roll on their backs in submission. I smothered a giggle as I pictured them doing just that. Luckily only Spot was close enough to hear it. I shrugged; my eyes had to be dancing with laughter and I saw the matching glimmer in his. Leave it to me to find something amusing in a moment that called for seriousness. It was just one of the many things that caused people to think I was crazy, but I couldn't help it the image had been so incredibly funny and after the day I had had I needed a good laugh.  
  
"I'll tell you later, when the pack is through groveling." I said under my breath as I passed him, I heard his brief chuckle.  
  
He grabbed my wrist and I automatically turned tensing expecting him to pull me to him. I expected a display to show that I was his and he meant what he said. I also knew what kind of damage displays like that had already caused my tattered reputation. Instead he merely bowed and placed a chaste kiss on my hand in a gentlemanly fashion.  
  
"Just the first step in tellin me boys that ya're a lady." He whispered for my ears alone as he released my hand. He stepped back heading for the other side of the room and the whisky Blink, Mush and I had originally left the haven of the roof for. His boys patted him on the back in appreciation at another well-fought fight. I stood rooted to the spot letting the other newsies stream around me like water around a rock.  
  
"I ain't never seen him do that before." Blink muttered as he made his way to my side.  
  
"Me neither." Mush said giving me a confused look. I looked at him and shook my head. I had no idea what was going on in Spots complicated mind.  
  
"Get in a fight over a girl?" I asked looking at them in interest.  
  
"Nah.....he can be pretty possessive over what's he thinks is his." Mush responded still looking after the leader of the Brooklyn newsies in surprise. " No, treat a girl like a lady."  
  
"They usually good girls who don't know until they see him that theys bad." Blink added "He usually puts on the charm, but he ain't the gentlemanly type and they knows that. They usually try to turn him into it though the stupid girls. Ain't never seen one that could tame him."  
  
"The alpha male looks for an alpha female." I whispered to myself as I watched him closely, he was indeed the alpha male. No one would ever tame Spot, but one day I had a feeling he would find a girl that would be just as strong and powerful as he was. An alpha female to his alpha male, my earlier thought had been wrong. He may not have seemed like the marrying type, but I had no doubt he would marry if he found her, wolves mated for life.  
  
"What?" Mush asked in a tone that told me he hadn't heard what I had said, but had seen me talking.  
  
"I guess he just hasn't run across a bad girl who doesn't know until she sees him that she's really good." I said instead of repeating my earlier comment.  
  
"Ya ain't a bad girl Cameo." Blink told me putting his arm around me. " Ya just different and ain't many people around here that can handle that."  
  
I felt as smile touch my lips as my eyes met Spot's from across the room. It was that secret smile that only a woman can produce. Spot raised his glass and tossed the burning liquid down his throat as if to say touché.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Wow what a response I got from all of you! I'm blushing and ducking my head. Shucks!  
  
  
  
Chelci: Thank you, your review was.. Wow! As for what I wrote, it is the truth!  
  
Cards: YEA! You updated! More please! I'm glad you love it.  
  
Dreamer: That is my goal....to be different, isn't it everyone who has worked at a festivals though? I checked out your fiction and I reviewed so I'll leave it at that, you know I liked it.  
  
Ali: Don't guess the end of the story or the muses might change it in mid writing. He, he, he. Just kidding. You know they will end up together eventually. I don't think I could see them with anyone else at this point, but you never know. As I said before I am blushing at your praise. I didn't expect this kind of response to my little hobby. Thank you. I hope it continues to be enjoyable.  
  
JP: I didn't say you didn't like romance, I just figured of anyone you would tell me if I was getting too sappy! I'm glad you are enjoying it. When are you going to post more of yours? I'm waiting none too patiently. You think it's the best? (Ducks head modestly and traces pictures with her toe) THANK YOU. I take that as an incredible compliment!  
  
Falco: Ahhh, where do I begin? Your compliments were very ego boosting. I was speechless; I can't believe that my writing could have possibly touched someone so strongly. My writing amused me, but I never thought it would be inspiration for someone to take a closer look at theirs. That was not it's original purpose, but if it has wow. Writing is a great way to express all you are feeling and all you wish you could say, but can't. THANK YOU again, you're review really meant a lot!  
  
Rumor: Again wow, thank you for the praise. Thank you as well for catching my little mistake. My history is a little rusty as well so I was lazy and looked back on the notes I took in high school. American history I am afraid has not been as prominent in my studies as European. I know better than to use my old history teacher's notes, as he was a teacher so he could coach. You know the types..... they figure history will be easy all they will have to do is show a few movies and make the kids do the stupid questions in the book. I delighted in proving him wrong when he lectured. That's probably why I barely passed his class, oops. Oh well. My old notes had said that the suffragettes were fighting for women to be able to work. As there were so few jobs open to a woman who was forced to work in that time. I forgot that it wasn't until World War II that women really worked. That the country started putting out pictures of Rosy the Riveter and that after having worked for the country while the men were at war the women were not so keen on returning home. Still it wasn't until later that women's lib in the work force really took over. Sorry for the impromptu history lesson you probably already knew about. I did my research like I should have and changed the last chapter a little to reflect the fact that women were only concentrating on voting at this time. Thank you for pointing that out. I hope you can continue to do so in the future! As for your questions...... I can't answer all of them. The muses are threatening a strike if I do. They are threatening impending writers block. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anything but that.) I will tell you that, yes, Spot will find out and mayhem as only Cameo can provide will ensue. I am glad you like the story!  
  
Fearless: I'll do that, I sent you one earlier, but you weren't online so I'll try again later. Hope you enjoy this one as much as you have the previous chapters. 


	19. True Realizations

After Spot's threat most of the boys backed off for fear of angering their leader. Those that didn't well, they too were worried about getting caught and it was easier to evade them. The real battle was just starting for me though and it was not a battle with any one other than myself. This had nothing to do with my emotions connected with Spot or otherwise; it had to do with my own actions and outlooks.  
  
He was ever the gentleman in front of his boys, showing them that he thought more of me than they previously assumed and expected the same from them. If any stepped out of line and Spot heard of it there was either a fight or a swift apology. Yet that made me feel safe and my actions did not change in the least  
  
As a child I had lived in neighborhoods that had been inhabited by older people that had adult children. I learned at an early age to act as an adult and to find things to do that were entertaining. I learned to be independent and was fiercely independent, something that hadn't earned me a popular reputation in school. To the popular crowds I was one of the oddballs preferring the company of my few friends rather than trying to fit in with them. I was different and I reveled in it, rubbing their noses in it when ever possible. I did outrageous stunts even for my time just to prove I didn't care in the least what anyone else thought. My father often would become irate at some of my antics; my mother would laugh it off and tell him to calm down. It went against the very grain of my nature to try to fit in, but I had to. I could not pointedly ignore those that did not understand me.  
  
I did not understand at first the precarious position I was in and what it was doing to Spot. Not until Jack came on one of his visits to Brooklyn, to check up on things and do what ever the leaders of the newsies did behind the door of Spots room. Which I believed was really drink whiskey, smoke cigars and talk about the latest girl, but I couldn't know for sure.  
  
I was meandering across the bunkroom to the widow and the fire escape beyond hoping perhaps to listen in on what Jack and Spot were talking about. Nosy of me I know, but I had a healthy curiosity, one that I had a hard time not appeasing. It had been weeks since any real attempt at the treatment I had previously known, but tonight they had been drinking and gambling. The only thing that was missing was a girl and I had to wonder into the bunkroom just at that moment. I ignored their looks as I slipped through the window to my place smiling as I notice Spots window as cracked and I could hear the low murmur of voices.  
  
The air was cool, but welcome after the hot days that nearly always come just before autumn truly hits and it becomes cold during the day as well as the night. The sun had just set and the night would become cold soon, but I figured I could enjoy the temperature while I could. I unbuttoned two of the buttons on my shirt, it was not as if I had half way unbuttoned it, the v of the shirt reached to a modest point just showing a peek of my camisole. I pulled off my socks and shoes wiggling my toes in delight. I rolled up my pants to my knees enjoying the feeling of the air on my legs and pulled my hair on top of my head in a messy bun a few tendrils sticking to my sweaty neck. I propped my feet up on the wall just below the windowsill as I took the small notebook and pen from my pocket. I had purchased them only days ago taking the money from my carefully hoarded money. I stared off into space waiting for the words to come. Waiting for the muse to whisper the words in my ear that would become a poem. I used the notebook to like a journal with creative possibilities; poems and ideas for stories went into it, along with notes on my life the past weeks. The weeks that were quickly becoming months, sometimes I worried over the time I had spent here, but I was stuck. I couldn't have any of the boys bring me the necklace, not without the fear of them finding the bracelet that had already been a danger. My pen was poised above the paper, my mind free, as it only is when I let it wonder and dream in the prospect of a new adventure even if it was only in my imagination. So lost was I in my writing I did not hear the footsteps that stopped at the window, or see the boy who looked out at me, his eyes wondering over my bare legs, a gleam at the bare flesh that was so often hidden by long skirts and stockings coming into his eyes. I did not even notice him until I felt his hand on my shin. Shocked out of my reverie I looked at him my eyes wide, much like rabbit caught in the glare of a car's headlights.  
  
"What are you doing?'" I asked in an outraged squawk pulling my leg out of his hand and backing as far as I could into the railing.  
  
"Admirin what ya so willin to show." He replied a grin on his face that I wanted to smack off. " Come on, we knows ya ain't the good girl Spot's been treatin ya as."  
  
"I have no idea what you mean." I said primly as I gave him my best school teacher look. In reality I didn't, my mind just hadn't comprehended the idea that while I felt over dressed in comparison to the clothes I had worn in my time. It wasn't that I didn't know the rules, or that now I wasn't more aware, but with Spot defending me I hadn't been forced to act as I should. He just smirked as he climbed out the window. I managed to stand before he grabbed my arm. I could smell the liquor on his breath and knew he was doing this on liquid courage alone.  
  
"Get your dirty crumb snatchers off of me." I shrieked indignantly. That brought Spots window flying open and two heads poking out. The boy dropped me looking sheepishly at Spot. Spot eyed me for a moment then shook his head.  
  
"Get inside." He snapped at the boy who did as he was told. " You get in here."  
  
I glared at him as I climbed over the windowsill and into his room. Jack looked me over with an interested gleam in his eyes as they traveled up my legs.  
  
"I think I need a cigarette." Jack said before climbing out the way I had come in. I sat on the bed and crossed my arms glaring at him, too proud to roll down my pants and button up my shirt even though he was looking at me as if I was parading around in Victoria's Secret lingerie. I almost laughed as I thought of what any of the boys would do seeing a woman actually parading around in Victoria's Secret lingerie, except the exasperated and angry look on Spot's face stopped me.  
  
"I've been patient Cameo." He said as he paced trying not to look at my legs. "I can't keep doin this, ya gotten me in more fights with me boys than I can deal with. I can only defend ya honor so far if ya ain't helping me out here. Look at ya, ya wearin less than the protstiutes wear when they're lookin for a customer. I'm done, ya want to get treated like a lady, ya gotta start actin like it. I'm losin the respect of me boys tryin to keep them from attackin ya and every time I turn around ya pullin another stunt like this."  
  
I wanted to argue, I wanted to fight him, but I knew he was right and I couldn't dispute it.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said softly hating saying it, but knowing I needed to. I rolled my pants down and rebuttoned my shirt. He knelt in front of me one of his hands pulling my chin up to look at him eye to eye. He looked surprised at the fact I hadn't chosen to fight him.  
  
"Look I know ya think differently than we do. I don't know why, but things just don't seem ta sit in that brain of yours like they do in ours." Spot said gently. "I made ya promise me ya wouldn't marry a man that curbed that spirit of yours and even if I wanted to I sure ain't gonna be the man that tries to curb it, but ya gotta help me out here Briar. I can't keep fightin. I'm losin the respect of me boys, I can only keep doin this for so long before I gotta either send ya packin, let them do what they want, or they're gonna take matters into their own hands and I ain't gonna be the leader of Brooklyn anymore. If they do that, I ain't gonna be the leader of nothin and I can't let that happen. Your life, Glimmer's life, and my life is hangin here and no matter how much I want to I can't let you go, and I can't let them have you. "  
  
I didn't say anything; I bit my tongue and nodded, knowing that it was true. I hated the fact he was right, I hated the fact I was going to have to learn to fit in. I hated everything about it, except one thing, the blue eyes that were watching me to see if I was just agreeing so he would back of or if I really meant it. I knew why he was the leader. He had that ability to command people's attention without even trying. He could inspire them to do what ever he really wanted. He would have made a great king, tough, strong, compassionate, and charismatic. His newsies followed him out of respect and awe, but even the most charismatic man could fall. Even the greatest kings had been over thrown and I felt the fear of what I could see happening if he did have to keep protecting me from myself.  
  
"On top of everythin, I can't concentrate on what I need to concentrate on. My birdies are tellin me that that attack on ya a few weeks ago was planned. Ox was in that alley that night and ya weren't supposed to live through it. I need to be able to figure out what then next move is. The only thing I've been able to get done these past few weeks is convince Lucky to kick Ox outta the Bronx LH."  
  
Again I nodded, feeling ashamed that he was trying to protect my life and I was blatantly ignoring the social standards of this time making things more difficult for him. I could have kept a closer watch on what I was doing, but I hadn't. I knew the rules, I knew how I should be acting, but I didn't. Even if the stakes weren't so high, the fact I had allowed him to get into the fights he had made me feel ashamed. It had never occurred to me that I had the power to stop it.  
  
I looked closely at him noticing the bruises that were starting to fade and some that were new. One graced his jaw, another his cheek, one was fading from around on eye. Gently I touched the bruise on his cheek, and shook my head wanting to cry at the pain I had unintentionally inflicted upon him.  
  
"I'm sorry." I whispered again. I looked away not wanting him to see the battle I was fighting inside of myself. His hand covered mine as he turned his face and kissed my hand. His other hand brushed my hair from my face and the look on his face was soft as he stood and helped me to my feet. This was the Spot few say again; this was Michael, the man not the myth. I wondered how many girls he had allowed to see this side so he could take advantage of its effect. I wondered if he knew its effect.  
  
"I've gotta finish talkin with Jack." He told me. "Just help me out a little here and try to behave yaself."  
  
I nodded before venturing out the window and up to the roof where I stayed long past lights out.  
  
"Whatta ya gonna do with her Spot?" I heard a voice say floating up to me on the breeze that had turned from cool to down right chilly. I shivered and sighed knowing that I would have to wait until Glimmer and Spot went back inside before sneaking down to my room.  
  
" I don't know Bri, I hope I managed to get it through her thick head today." Spot replied as he lit a cigarette and leaned against the railing. " She reminds me of Ma. Ma and that Irish temper of hers, matched her red hair. "  
  
Glimmer laughed as if she too was remembering their mother. I peeked over the edge of the roof at the two siblings that stood side by side.  
  
"Do ya think she would be disappointed in me?" Glimmer asked looking down at her attire. "Cause I ain't the proper lady?"  
  
"Na," Spot told her wrapping an arm around her shoulders in a comforting gesture. "She loved ya Bri and if there is anyone to fault with the way ya act it's mine. I shoulda tried to teach ya to be a girl, but there weren't no girls around and I don't understand them so well sometimes. I raised ya the best I knew how and I shoulda done better by ya."  
  
"Ya did the best ya could." Glimmer said gently. "At least I ain't a Sarah."  
  
"Yeah I guess I coulda done worse." Spot chuckled. I watched as they hugged tears coming to my eyes as I felt a tinge of jealousy. I knew that Spot and Glimmer were close. They depended on each other, kept a watch out for each other, and loved each other. My brother and sister I was a stranger to, unable by the different mothers that separated us to be close. I closed my eyes as I thought about the jealousy that had often gripped me when watching them with their mother, the same jealousy that was gripping me now. I wanted so much to belong to someone, yet I was so afraid to. Afraid they'd leave; they'd die and leave another gaping hole where my heart should have been. My heart was still attempting to mend the gaping holes left from my mothers death, which is part of what made me so cautious about loving Spot. There were too many improbables and too many ways I could get hurt, but the heart unfortunately won't listen to the sage advice of the mind.  
  
"Do ya love her Michael?" she asked so softly I almost didn't catch it.  
  
" I don't know." He replied "Love ain't somethin I'm ready for. I ain't ready to give up bein a newsie and grow up like that yet."  
  
"She loves you." Glimmer informed him, I felt my heart clench and wished for a pot I could throw down on her head right now. I didn't know how she had figured it out, then again I didn't know how Mush and Blink had figured out I was interested. Where had that ability to hide all of my emotions gotten off to? Since when had I become an open book?  
  
"What makes ya say that?" Spot's question was said slowly as he looked at his sister curiously.  
  
"I can see it." Glimmer responded. " It's in the way she looks at ya. She ain't like the other girls ya toyed with Spot. I don't think she's gonna give ya what ya want. I know ya can be pretty persuasive, and if she does, she ain't gonna stand for bein thrown to the side. Promise me ya won't hurt her."  
  
"I ain't gonna hurt her." Spot promised, they stood together for a little while longer, Glimmer curled up in his arms, reminding me of the little girl she must have been only a few years ago.  
  
"Come on little sister, let's go in." Spot urged, she nodded sleepily and crawled into the bunkroom window as ours was stuck and hadn't been fixed yet. I waited until I knew it was clear before descending the stairs and crawling into the bunkroom myself. I cursed as I stumbled into the person who was waiting in the shadows for me.  
  
"What are you doing?" I hissed as familiar arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his room. I didn't struggle, that would have made too much noise and the last thing I wanted was to wake any of the sleeping boys. I wanted to just as a matter of principal, however if any of them saw me being pulled into Spot's room what was left of my reputation would be entirely shot.  
  
"I figured you were still up there." Spot told me as he released me. The moonlight shone in the window lighting his features in an odd canvas of shadows and light. "So was she right?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" I responded stubbornly not sure I wanted him to know yet. I after all had only just started to come to terms with my emotions. "What are you a caveman? You just can't go around grabbing innocent girls and dragging them back to your cave to ravish until they can't walk."  
  
"Don't tempt me." Spot chuckled " I may just have to drag ya around by ya hair for a little while until ya see reason.  
  
I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it, when he got going he could be pretty amusing himself. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he ran a finger down the side of my neck.  
  
"Ya know what I'm talkin about I saw ya peekin over the roof watchin us." His face was serious now as he said those words. I cursed silently that I couldn't read his face in this light and I shook my head.  
  
"I don't know what I'm feeling." I sighed; he nodded giving me his signature smirk as he did. A smirk that no longer had the power to irritate me, but I found I actually had come to like it. We both knew my answer had been an evasion of telling him what I didn't want to admit to him.  
  
I didn't protest when he pulled me to him, I didn't protest as he kissed me. I didn't protest as I found myself falling back onto the bed, with his arms around me I felt safe. Blame it on the moonlight, blame it on my haywire emotions, but my mind was filled only with Spot and the feelings he could invoke with a smile or a light, innocent caress of his hand. I felt his kisses on my throat and did not stop him as he edged lower. Just as I knew there would be no turning back he stopped.  
  
"What's wrong?" I whispered confusion plain on my face; I couldn't read the expression on his face though the moonlight fell full on it. There was something soft, something that I couldn't place.  
  
"I ain't gonna do this." He told me as he stood and moved back into the shadows. "I can't do this. You wouldn't want me to."  
  
"I understand." I said softly as I stood and straightened my clothes. I started for the door, not sure whether to be relieved or upset. He grabbed my wrist and whirled me back into his arms. His lips were on mine driving all thoughts from my mind once more when he raised his head I felt as if I was drunk. My head was spinning and light.  
  
"I don't." he said quietly as he pushed me toward the door and looked out the window, his breathing uneven, his body tense. I knew what it would do to him to leave him tonight. "Normally I woulda taken that opening ya just gave me. I don't know why I'm not going to, but I'm not."  
  
"Go." The word was an order that would have made even the toughest of his boys do as he commanded. Yet I couldn't as looked at him, his eyes flashing even in this light seeming to be chips of ice, looking at me from the shadows like a predator who was contemplating jumping on it's prey before it could run away. I didn't want to run as I stood there my eyes trapped by his. "Go before I loose my control and I treat ya like the girls before ya."  
  
I hesitated wanting to help him, yet not wanting to forget the personal promises I had made to myself. I was torn, he had the power, and he knew it. He could take the iron that was my will and melt it right now with the heat of his gaze and his burning kisses. He took my arm and pushed me out the door of his room, shutting it firmly behind him. I heard his head thump against the door as he hit it against it. I waited for a moment unsure of what to do; finally I turned to walk away. I heard the door open as I got halfway across the bunkroom, but it was too late my senses had come reeling back telling me what an idiot I had been. I heard his sigh and heard the door shut again.  
  
I walked silently to my room and shut the door the emotions flying around inside me. I knew he could have had what he wanted, but he hadn't taken it. It was a confusing and perplexing thought. I mulled it over as I got ready for bed, Glimmer already asleep her breathing even and deep.  
  
"He's a good boy underneath." She said startling me as I changed into my nightgown.  
  
"I know." I murmured as I lay down. " I know."  
  
"Just like you're a good girl." She whispered so softly I wasn't sure she had actually said it.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay the whole modesty issue has been beaten to death now and I promise I will move on! I think I got my point across; I had to find some way for it to really be driven home in her mind. I wanted her to realize it as normal people would. We see things, but we don't always react to them. The full effect doesn't always sink in on our actions. I hope it was still enjoyable.  
  
Getcha: I am very glad you are enjoying my little story! Let me know how this one went.  
  
Fearless: I'll think about it when I'm searching for a new character. You'll have to be patient, I am at the mercy of the muses. E-mail me the info for the mailing list. Thank you !  
  
Falco my favorite Lazy Bum: Hey hon, glad you loved it! He is kind of sexy isn't he? There is this power I am trying to convey that I am not sure I am getting across. Well at least you love him. I thought comparing Spot to the alpha male was perfect. When the idea hit me over the head like a ton of bricks I almost danced in excitement.  
  
Chelci: Here you go babe, another Kodak moment with Glimmer. Hoped you liked it. You even got to snuggle.  
  
Indy: Hey I'm glad you think my characters are believable, I was trying for that. It is really nice to know that you don't think this is another Mary Sue! I really didn't want Cameo to be one, I wanted you to able to relate to her. She's not perfect, oh no, she's far from it, but she is very entertaining in her antics!  
  
JP: Hey it was so nice to talk to you again! I missed you (sends virtual hugs and smooches). I'm sorry you've been sick and I hope everything is going well with the job. I can't wait for the next chapter, you may not be too thrilled with it, but I am! Write more soon. Yea! It's not sappy (does a happy dance)! I like what I write, but that doesn't mean I'm good.  
  
Rumor: No writer's block. Bad, (hiss) bad! Okay I love your reviews! I can't wait for the next one....I hope. I haven't had writers block, just a lack of computer and a nasty cold. They seem to be going around right now. It's nice to have another history buff! Did you know there was one woman in the suffragettes that the president backed until she learned of her beliefs on free love. Imagine free love in the turn of the century. She was the original hippie, he, he, he. I'm writing as fast as I can so I can keep you and the muses happy. The Renaissance Festival is a blast as long as you aren't working there. I wasn't kidding about the director. She's never acted a day in her life started out picking up trash. We're wondering how a person who has no real acting experience is directing actors. Oh well the Ren Faire, a constant perplexing place. Still it is a blast. I'm glad you see her as complicated I really wanted Cameo to be a multidimensional character. Glad you loved it. Thank you!  
  
Ali: Ah, my favorite hopeless romantic, this chapter's for you. Hope it has the elements you love. Thank you for your praise, it keeps me wanting to write more! I'm glad you loved the alpha male thing it really amused me!  
  
Ursula: Not bored with the praise at all, who doesn't love to be praised? As for the encouragement on your story! WRITE MORE! I'm glad I am accomplishing my goal in not having Cameo adjust immediately. I know that the culture shock of such a thing might fell a person who is not as hardy as my Cameo. She's a pistol and I love it.  
  
Dreamer: He is a wolf isn't he? I was watching the movie the other night and there is something powerful about that gaze, reminded me of a wolf. He he he, I love my muses, though I'm a little disappointed in them today, I'm not sure how much I like this chapter, but oh well. As for your characters, you are just now starting to develop them. It will come! 


	20. Like a Snake

Autumn snuck up on us like a practiced thief in the night and once it had, I found myself looking around at the world with the glee of a child. I had smelled it in the air, and felt it in the subtle changing of the temperature, but it takes a certain amount of cold nights before the trees take the hint and start to hibernate for winter. I had always enjoyed autumn. It was one of my favorite seasons, tied with spring. Both were seasons of change, you could see the world around you going into its winter slumber and then waking with the coming of spring. Such was the delight of living in a climate where the seasons did change. However, fall held Halloween, my favorite of all holidays. Maybe it was because I had always loved dressing up; maybe it was because you could be anything or anyone you wanted to be for one night, whatever it was I loved it.  
  
I had never been to the east coast in the fall and the colors amazed me. In Colorado we have some of the color, there are trees that change into those amazing colors of fall, and we have the aspens for crying out loud. There are people who go to Aspen, Colorado just to see the golden color of the leaves, but when you live in Colorado the novelty of it never hits you. As with most things that are right in front of your face you don't realized the beauty of what is right around you, when you see it all the time. Which might explain Spots amusement when I woke up one morning and looked out the window to find an explosion of color. I didn't know that trees really turned that color of bright red, or that color of brilliant orange.  
  
I was positively giddy when I looked around as we made our daily trek to the distribution center in Brooklyn. Normally I walked like a zombie, not really looking around and not really wanting to, we had to pass through parts of town I wouldn't be caught dead in by myself. Actually I would be caught and dead if I walked through there by myself. No more late night romps to calm my nerves like I had taken in Manhattan, I could take care of myself, but at the same time I wasn't stupid.  
  
The colors swirled around me like an artist's canvas of reds, golds, oranges, and leaves made their silent swirling descent to the ground. It had snuck up on me and I was so excited I practically danced instead of walked. Glimmer watched me with a small smile on her face, Spot just shook his head and the other boys shied away from me like skittish horses.  
  
There was one aspect of me my mother made me promise before her death that I would never loose and that was the ability to look at the world through the eyes of a child. I had never really been a child more of an adult trapped in a child's body, but there were always the moments when I could loose myself in the joy of the world as only a child can. I could find wonders when I chose to look in everything especially nature. She had loved that part of me, taking me to the mountains or on special excursions just to watch me dance with joy. For the first time since her death I found the memory wasn't followed with the heartbreaking pain that always accompanied thoughts of her. Instead it had become a beautiful memory tinged with sadness at her passing, but I had learned to move on and remember her. I smiled to myself as Spot handed me my share of the papers and I followed him, Glimmer was at my side to our selling spot. As we did every day we split up always with in view of each other, but with enough space for us all to work our magic on the crowd.  
  
The sky was clouding over as we broke for the day and headed back for the Lodging House. Glimmer and I chattered while we walked as girls as do, Spot was only half listening until one particular subject caught his attention. I had brought up Skittery both of us figuring he was too far ahead at that point to really hear what we were saying. Her face was glowing as she told me about the previous night she had spent with him while Jack and I had been keeping her older brother busy. She had been almost grateful for the attention I had brought upon myself it gave her more of a chance to slip away without Spot noticing.  
  
"Whatta ya mean ya went for a walk with Skittery down at the docks?" Spot demanded his eyes as cool as the wind that was biting through my warn shirt as if it were nothing.  
  
"We went for a walk, it was nothin." Glimmer said quickly looking at me for help. I shrugged unsure of how to handle over protective big brothers, I had never had one and I had never been the over protective older sibling. My brother and sister made it clear that I was not to be involved in their lives.  
  
"Went for a walk?" Spot growled. " I've been for a walk down by the docks before, I know all about walks down by the docks."  
  
"Just because she's going for a walk with a boy does not mean she's doing anything other than walking." I broke in coming to Glimmer's defense. "Just because she is spending time in the company of a boy does not mean she's acting as you would."  
  
I had had enough of men who assumed the worst of women. It was a stupid double standard. Women were supposed to have the ability to stop a man as if their emotions were not all tied up in everything. As if they weren't confused by the emotions and the urges that if they acted on would brand them as a slut. Yet at the same time they weren't believed to have the brains God promised an oyster, therefore it was expected they would allow a man anything he wanted. So they were expected to stop a man, but then not expected to actually stop him. Why couldn't the man try to control himself? He according to the standards he had all the power here, but no men were not only expected to 'sow their oats', they were almost encouraged to. It was a double standard that was not new, some things hadn't changed that much, but I found it no less frustrating.  
  
"Ya ain't gonna see Skittery any more Gabrielle." He said in a tone that would have made the strongest of men cower. It frustrated me that he was ignoring my input and I glared at him.  
  
"Ya ain't gonna stop me." She replied stomping her foot and giving him a mutinous look.  
  
"I'll lock ya in the broom closet if I gotta." Spot snapped his eyes on me, but his words for Glimmer. " I know what kinda guy he is, I know more about his girls than you care to know little girl."  
  
" I know about his girls, I know how he treated girls remember I've been around him my whole life, but I ain't gonna be like them. She retorted. "He don't treat me like that. Ya ain't gonna stop me from seein him."  
  
"I can do what I like, ya think he's gonna keep comin around if I tell him not to?" Spot asked, "Do ya think if I tell Jack that Skittery's not allowed around here or it means war with Brooklyn, Skittery will come still? Na, he'll forget all about ya and find some other broad."  
  
"He won't forget about me." Glimmer hissed. "And ya wouldn't dare."  
  
"Whatta ya gonna do to stop me?" Spot's voice was the cocky one of a man who knows he's got the upper hand.  
  
"Stop!" I cried making them both look up from where they stood toe to toe and eye to eye each vying for the upper hand. "Look Spot if you're so worried about it have one of your boys watch them both. Then Glimmer can see Skittery and you can make sure nothing is happening."  
  
"You stay out of it." he responded his anger now turned full force on me. I had forgotten the greatest of all rules when dealing with siblings, never ever jump into an argument.  
  
"I will not stay out of it," I snapped not one to back down because some hotheaded, arrogant ass was yelling, just who did he think he was? "You are being an egotistical prick. First of all I can't believe you would accuse your sister, who you know better than anyone else of having relations with someone. You just accused her without a shred of proof, just the fact that she is interested him. News flash, she's old enough to marry, she's going to be interested in boys, if she wasn't you should be worried. Secondly if you pulled your head out of your ass you would see that forbidding her to see him is only going to make him more interesting and more likely to do what you are afraid she will do. Thirdly she's got to grow up some time Spot, she's not a little girl anymore face it. Eventually she will grow up, get married, and have babies, because that's all you over bearing men will let us do."  
  
"When ya gonna learn ya place Cameo?" Spot asked that smirk I loved to hate back on his face. I found I was itching for a fight, so tired of keeping myself under control while around the Brooklyn boys I welcomed the release. Besides if I divided, Glimmer could conquer. I knew if I kept his attention I could buy her enough time to get out of there and to meet Skittery. I knew Skittery would be waiting for her back at the Lodging House by now and she was more anxious to get back than to finish the show down with her brother. Glimmer retreated giving me a smile of thanks as she did; she edged away from her brother.  
  
" When are you going to show me Spot?" I retorted. " If you can't handle a strong woman go find a milk sop to swoon over you."  
  
"Ya sayin I can't handle you?" Spot queried raising an eyebrow at the challenge in my voice. "Honey, not only could I handle you, I could handle any part of you I wanted."  
  
"You think?" I asked raising an eyebrow of my own, trying not to smile as I saw Glimmer was down the street too far away for Spot to catch her. If I played my cards right I might even win this argument after all I was fighting with logic, Spot was fighting with over protective big brother anger.  
  
"Ya want me to prove it?" his voice was deadly his body moving toward me as it had when he fought. With the grace of a stalking panther he moved closer, I stood my ground, my blood was singing in my veins as I did. He got within inches of me his hands resting on my hips as he leaned in. "I would, but who says I want to handle you?"  
  
"No one," I breathed playing his game as I leaned closer, I knew he was going to pull away leaving me crackling with the attraction that was spinning around us giving off sparks like a wildfire. I reached up and hooked my hand behind he head, effectively keeping him from finishing his plan. "But I still don't think you could."  
  
As I said it my lips were almost brushing his, abruptly I let go and stepped away. I flashed him an evil grin as I turned to walk away. His eyes flashed and I found my wrists imprisoned and my back pressed against his strong chest.  
  
"I almost did. "He reminded me. I closed my eyes as I remembered the night before, neither of us had slept well I could see it in his eyes when he had met me in the common room. I knew there were circles under my eyes that showed my lack of sleep. It had showed in our selling today and luckily Glimmer had been on fire or we wouldn't have sold all of our papers.  
  
"But you didn't " I reminded him. I knew he wanted to kiss me, I could feel it, but I could also feel the eyes of his boys drilling into us curiously wondering if Spot would work his magic as he had on so many others before me.  
  
"I should've, then maybe I would have been able to put reigns on ya." He said in a dangerous voice, telling me that he was reconsidering his noble actions of the previous night.  
  
"No man will ever hold the reigns." I replied softly. "Just as they never will on your sister."  
  
Spot looked up suddenly realizing that his sister was gone, he cursed as he pushed me away from him.  
  
"Spot, just let her go, if you don't then you might push her to do exactly what you are afraid of." I said quickly turning and putting a hand to his chest. "Threaten to beat Skittery within an inch of his life. Tell him to treat your sister right, send one of your boys to chaperone, but do not tell her she can't see him. Trust me please."  
  
I looked up at him willing him to see what I saw. I knew what she would most likely do. I had been just as hot headed and stubborn, hell I still was just as hot headed and stubborn. He looked at me for a moment not an emotion betrayed on his face.  
  
"I don't like being tricked Briar." He finally said harshly " I know ya just managed to get my little sister away with the boy I don't want her to see."  
  
"Trust me Michael." I said softly using his real name hoping to soften that face that seemed to be carved out of marble. " I know what I am talking about, Glimmer and I are not that different. I know she will rebel and you don't want that, if you think about it I just saved your ass."  
  
"Stop usin those words." He growled in way of answer, I knew I had won, but he was not about to admit it. " Remember ya supposed to be actin like a lady."  
  
"Just be thankful it's not Mush or Jack." I replied. " They have the attention spans of a flea when it comes to women. Kind of like a certain Brooklyn leader."  
  
"What are you sayin?" He asked spinning around on his heel making me almost run into him.  
  
"That you couldn't stay with one woman to save your soul." I teased poking him in the chest.  
  
"If she was a strong woman I might." He whispered giving me a meaningful look. My eyes widened as his words sunk in.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" I asked as he turned away. I felt raw, open and I waited tensed ready for him to tell me that he had no interest in me. I knew he had the power to crush me in that very moment, but he smiled and touched me cheek in caress I was coming to know well.  
  
" I need someone that is worth stayin with and so far they've all been milk sops." He grinned knowing I was still confused. He spoke in riddles that didn't tell me straight out what he meant. " I've met one strong woman, but I don't know if she's the woman for me. I guess I'll have to stick around a bit to find out, if my flea like attention span stays interested."  
  
"Don't toy with me Conlon." I growled stepping away from him.  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it." he told me flashing me a cocky grin and retreating into the Lodging House before I could say a word.  
  
"Damn, " I muttered. " He had to get the last word in didn't he?"  
  
"Get inside, Cameo, it's getting cold and I ain't standin out there." He called as I surveyed the boys who were milling around outside. I didn't respond however as boys who were attacking each other with zest had caught my attention, swinging at each other with sticks as if they were swords. I smiled to myself as I moved closer drawn to the play like a moth to fire.  
  
"You might want to try swinging that at his legs and then attacking his arms." I suggested watching one baseball bat swing at his opponent.  
  
"Girls can't sword fight." His companion told me in a nasty tone.  
  
" I bet I could beat you in sword fight." I told him seriously.  
  
"I bet ya couldn't." he responded. I reached my hand out for the stick one of the boys held in his hand. He hesitated, but his friend nodded arrogantly at him to do as I motioned. I took it and automatically hefted it in my hand testing its weight and balance. It sucked, but what could I expect from a stick? I longed for the balanced rapier I usually fought with.  
  
I could see the boys crowding around, Spot moving from the front door to where I stood cautiously ready to pounce when I couldn't handle it. I couldn't help smiling, boy, wasn't he in for a surprise. The kid took a baseball swing at me and I blocked it easily moving in to stab him in the arm. I had not learned to fight with a broad sword instead opting for the lighter more dance like movements of the rapier. What's the difference you might ask? Well one was more strength, the other more agility. We called the broadsword fighting to our own amusement hack and slash, while the rapier was swishy-poke. As a rapier fighter I would have been no match for a broadsword fighter, but this kid wouldn't have known the pommel from the point had I asked him. He tried again much to the amusement of the older boys, swiftly I moved around his lunge, hooking my foot behind his and spilling him to the ground. I kicked the stick from his hand and triumphantly put the tip of my stick to his throat.  
  
"I win." I told him, he glared at me as I stepped back and gestured to his "sword". "Would you like to try again?"  
  
The boy angrily took the stick and attacked a flurry of easy to block attacks following, I let him wear himself out for a little while before finally disarming him, sending his stick into the crowd.  
  
"Why don't you play with someone a little bigger?" The mocking voice that called from the crowd made my blood boil.  
  
"Pick your best fighter." I sighed patting my hand over my mouth in the universal gesture for boredom. Spot picked up the stick and I grinned my body tensing as I prepared myself for his attack. His movements were swift and if not practiced and I knew that if he had been trained he would have been incredible. As it was he quickly picked up my blocks and attacks after only a few passes.  
  
True rapier fighting was not as they show in the movies. Hollywood has effectively butchered the beauty and style that creates a true rapier fight. Instead they combine the two European styles, using the rapier as both a broadsword and a rapier. There was no hacking in rapier fighting; unlike the broadsword only the first six inches of the blade was sharpened, as it was a weapon made for stabbing. As woman I did not have the strength to truly fight with a broadsword. Which is probably where the idea that a woman was not meant for war came from. A broadsword was the most common weapon used on the battlefield and the shear inertia hacked limbs off when the blade began to dull. I don't care if you are Xenia, a woman competing against a male with a five pound blade swinging at them is not going to be able to have the strength to block it. Broadsword fighting took an upper arm strength that was not afforded to us women when we were created. Men were built stronger in the upper body; few women can take on a man muscle to muscle. They might have been able to use a bow, but the draw on a long bow used in battle was over a hundred pounds. Therefore women fell back on what they could do stay at home and rely on the mother grizzly effect if they were attacked. I learned the only sword fighting a woman might have learned and even at that I had a hard time countering.  
  
Rapier fighting is a series of attacks and counter attacks. Stabs and blocks, maybe a draw cut which should not be confused with a hack. A draw cut you set your blade on the part of their flesh you wished to cut and drew the razor sharp edge back. You did not swing the blade around as you did with a broadsword. You never really disengage, if the fight is a good one you just keep going back and forth until one person is wounded. The hardest part for me was learning to be quick enough to block a blow. A man had taught me and he had not gone any easier on me than he would have on another man. Blocks are sweeps that knock the sword out of the way and if you are good give yourself an opening to attack. I will admit it was hard even with a rapier to recover. I had to work very hard to counter the strength they blocked with and still come back around from it to counter attack. Many, many times I had been stabbed because I had not been able to recover from the block that had swept my blade out. It had taken me a while, but I had learned to be swift or to get the hell out of the way. Finally getting fed up with the fight due to the fact he was not winning he tackled me nearly knocking the wind out of me as I landed.  
  
"Cheater." I laughed, as a murmur went through the crowd. I figured it was the way I was sprawled half under Spot, but I as I blinked up at the sky Mush's head popped into view. He looked like he was out of breath as I saw Blink come to his side, the worry on their faces made me push Spot away and sit up quickly.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked wanting to scream, I knew that look, it was the look my father had given me when he told me mom had been in a car accident and was not going to live. The hardest part about her death had been the fact she had lived for a week in horrible pain awake through it all. I had prayed for her death if only to release her from the pain she was in. A prayer I had cursed myself for when she had actually closed her eyes for the last time. Something was wrong, very wrong I could feel it.  
  
"They got Mimic." He said softly still trying to get in a good breath.  
  
"What do you mean?" I cried instantly on my feet, Spot by my side a hand on my shoulder comforting. "Who has Mimic?"  
  
"Ox, he took him today, beat the shit out of Specs to get him." Blink told me as gently as he could. "He was comin here to see ya. We haven't let him come 'cause we've been afraid that Ox would try something. We didn't want him connected to ya. We sent Specs after him."  
  
"What the hell were you thinking?" I cried. "You're worried about him getting hurt and you send one boy off never thinking that Ox already knows he could use Mimic against me. What is wrong with you Jack, I thought you thought of everything golden boy."  
  
I turned my wrath on the Manhattan leader that walked up to us, his face set in a look not unlike any of the others.  
  
"I didn't think..." he began, but I cut him off too sick with worry to care what anyone thought.  
  
"That's right you didn't, if Ox hurts him Jack....." I trailed off my anger and frustration palatable. I was so angry I wanted to cry. "We better get him back."  
  
"We will." Spot assured me, I looked back at him my face conveying my disbelief.  
  
"Ox sent this." Blink said handing me a bit of paper. On one side was a flier for the carnival; the other was a scrawled note that I had to read out loud because it was so badly spelled. I felt the color bleed from my face as the meaning of the words sunk in. Spot's face took on that deadly calm look, his eyes gleaming in a feral way.  
  
Like a snake he had struck when we least expected it. Just as most of us were beginning to think maybe he had had enough in that darkened alleyway when Spot had saved me.  
  
They wanted me; my mind grasped at it, making me feel like a woman in a sappy romance novel, the ultimate cliché. If I turned myself into them they would release Mimic. My breathing came in gasps, my head spun and black spots appeared. This was no sappy romance novel; if they got a hold of me I would be dead. This was real life and I knew that heroic rescues only happened in a story. This was the choice one should never have to make. Who would live, Mimic or me?  
  
"I'm not afraid to die." I heard my own voice echo back at me. I hadn't been, I hadn't cared enough to be afraid, but then I hadn't actually been faced with it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Cards: My chapter is huggeling you back! I'm glad you liked it. When are you going to update World Pizza?  
  
Chelci: You got a snuggle and a show down.... with enough time to sneak off with Skittery.  
  
Falco: Yay for me! Waffles, yummy! Okay, okay, he's very sexy. Hope this one was good too.  
  
Fearless: I'll try to live without you, I don't know what I will do! Hope that when you can read this you like it!  
  
Ali: I am apologizing to your French teacher in advance. Actually I guess it's too late for advance, so I'm just sending my apologies. Thank you, you're reviews really mean a lot to me and to this story! I read and reviewed hope you keep it going!  
  
Dreamer: I'm always beating myself up about my writing; it's never good enough for me. Oh well, I'm glad it's good enough for someone. Enjoy!  
  
Rumor: What long reviews you have Grandma. I love it, the longer the better! I wrote more so I want another review! I hope I don't get rid of you. Thanks.  
  
JP: Where are you? Hope you feel better! 


	21. Decisions and Responsibilities

I couldn't keep still, I paced the bunkroom like a cadged animal, blinking back tears and trying to figure out what I was going to do. There was no way I was going to let them hurt Mimic, but I didn't know for sure if he was even still alive. This was real life, and unfortunately in real life the bad guy didn't play by the rules. Which meant there was a very real possibility he was dead. I had to face that thought because this could just be a way to trap and kill me too. I hated thinking l like that, but I refused to think any other way than harshly. I refused to hope for the best, because I had learned long ago that the best rarely happened. This was the realist and the cynic; it was the only way that I could allow myself to think. If there were anyway to get both Mimic and I out of this alive and unhurt I would have to keep thinking like this. Though it made me want to tear my hair out in frustration.  
  
I halfway listened to the conversation between Jack and Spot, the most trusted newsies of each sat listening intently some looking to me from time to time as I continued to pace. Some like Mush and Blink kept giving me looks that were meant to calm and to comfort me. I wasn't comforted; I wanted to be sick, funny how that is never mentioned that in movies and stories, they never show the real emotions. The nausea that haunted me made me want to lie down. The pounding in my head was on it's way to being the biggest stress migraine I had ever had, but every time I tried to lay down I found myself back on my feet walking circles while my mind blindly searched for answers. My heart was in my throat, which burned from tears of rage, frustration, and fear that I was refusing to shed. I felt like a guitar string that had been stretched too tight, I was ready to snap and I battled with control.  
  
I wanted to hurt something or someone, preferably Ox, but anyone would do right now. I wanted to attack anything and everything. Finally I settled for pounding the wall in frustration until one of Spots boys stood and pulled me away from it. I kicked at it in irritation then swing at him, which he sidestepped and glared at me.  
  
"Don't push me girly." He warned as I took another swing. Fighting would take my mind from my present circumstances. I welcomed the rush of adrenaline as I ignored his words and swung again. I didn't care that he was a hulking brute of a man with a frighteningly intimidating aura about him. I didn't care that he could hold me down with one hand and beat me senseless if he wanted to, I hoped he would then I wouldn't be awake to contemplate this anymore. He effortlessly evaded my next punch catching my wrists and pushing me back against the wall. His eyes gleamed with understanding, but his body language was telling me to back off.  
  
"Rock." Spot snapped, not even looking up at us." Let her go. Cameo sit your ass down. Or I'll let Rock sit on ya."  
  
"Are you going to make me sit oh fearless leader?" I asked sweetly batting my eyelashes comically at him.  
  
"I'll sit on you, now do it." he growled slamming both hands on the table and standing. I ignored him and brushed past Rock to the door, which Mush blocked. I glared at him and tried to push him out of the way, but he wouldn't budge.  
  
"Can you get the hell out of my way, I need to go for a walk." I cried in frustration. I was going to cry; I knew it and I didn't want them to see me. I couldn't take my emotions out in a violent way then I would take the only outlet left no matter whether I wanted to or not. I wouldn't be able to control it and I didn't want to do it here. My best hope was to get out before I entirely broke down.  
  
"If ya think I'm gonna to let you go out and wonder around like ya did in Manhattan then ya crazy." Mush told me firmly.  
  
"I am crazy remember, absolutely certifiable." I replied "Remember you have all thought I was crazy since I came to New York. Absolutely batty, touched, not right in the head, loony, daft, a few crackers short of a box, a few fries short of a happy meal. Okay we got it, so get out of my way. "  
  
"No." Mush said in a final sounding tone. I raised my fist wanting to swing at him, but the look in his eyes stopped me. The sadness and the worry could almost make you drown so instead I turned on my heel toward the window, which was immediately blocked by Race. I closed my eyes praying for patience and some control, but could not help stomping my foot and making a childish noise that sounded an awful lot like a child that was ready to throw a temper tantrum.  
  
"Will you just let me go?" I shrieked wildly, I was slipping, it was getting harder and harder to keep a tight reign. Voices whispered in my head chasing each other in circles. The little voices that kept telling me it was entirely my fault, that I had brought Mimic's fate when I had allowed him to get close. The voice that made me want to do rash things to stop it from continuing the litany I heard over and over again. Voices that fed on my darkest fears and pushed the hurt I tried to hide forward, making everything worse, bringing thoughts that made me want to scream. Voices I couldn't deny, it was my fault.  
  
"Instead of lettin ya walk out there we may as well just kill ya here." Spot told me; I whirled to face him, the look on my face bringing worry into his eyes. It was subtle something only Glimmer and I probably would have noticed. I glanced at her; she looked between us, caught between worry for Spot, Mimic, and me.  
  
"Good then you'll save Ox the trouble and maybe he'll let Mimic go." I responded bitterly. "It isn't as if I've done anything other than bring you problems."  
  
"Will ya stop feelin sorry for yaself and sit down?" Spot snapped, "I ain't gonna let you die, it just ain't gonna happen."  
  
I opened my mouth to retort, but was cut off by the two boys that had made a rather sudden appearance in the doorway. Mush stepped out of the way and then returned to his post as he saw me moving toward them. Though I wasn't interested in the door right then I was interested in the two boys, Shadow and Ghost, Spot's best spies. They had been tracked down immediately and sent out in search of Mimic's whereabouts. If there was anyway to find him Shadow and Ghost would. A ray of hope cast it's light through the gloom that surrounded me as I realized they both looked tired, but triumphant.  
  
"We found 'em." Ghost said in the quiet murmuring voice he had been named for. He sounded like a ghost whispering on the wind if you weren't paying attention.  
  
"He's beat up pretty good, but he's alive." Shadow told us, I felt my knees give out at that news; they connected with a painful thump. I didn't even register the pain that shot up my legs I was to busy thanking God he was alive, I prayed he would stay that way.  
  
"I wanna know all the details." Spot ordered as the boys made their way past me to their leader. "Anythin and everythin ya can remember. Where he is, how many people Ox has and any way into where they're holdin him."  
  
I watched him as he listened intently to what the boys were relating to him. I had to admit they were the best for a reason, not only were they incredibly good at getting information without being noticed, they had incredibly photographic memories.  
  
I didn't know how he remained so calm. As soon as I had read the note he had gone dead still, while Blink and Mush cried in outrage. Brooklyn had started murmuring amongst each other and Jack had just waited. I had just stared blankly at the note for a moment, then the panic had hit. Then had begun the gasping, the spinning head, and the black spots that had caused Mush to grab my arm in worry keeping me from sinking to the ground. I looked up at Spot who in the middle of all this chaos was calm, his face expressionless as it did only when he was hit with two particular emotions, rage or pain. Those cool eyes had burned with the cold fire of a blue flame as they met mine and suddenly he came to life, quieting the boys, sending Ghost and Shadow on their mission, sending a runner to Manhattan for the rest of Jack's best boys, telling one of his most trusted to go find Glimmer, and sending the other boys off. I had followed him numbly up the stairs into the bunkroom, where I had begun pacing and he had begun planning.  
  
His face had remained emotionless, as he had talked with Jack each trying to come up with a battle plan. The plans had continued making me more and more nervous as they tried to plan for the worse.  
  
I still did not know how he did it, I supposed he was forced to learn to react as he did. I was a woman, I was allowed and expected outbursts of emotion, but he was a man. While his temper could be possibly the most volatile I had ever witnessed he could not afford the emotions I could. My temper was the anger of a woman and though mine could be pretty violent I still did not have in me the violence of a man.  
  
My first reaction when I became this angry was to cry. It was always my first reaction; men's first reactions were violence. Right now crying was the only outlet I had to the emotions I had no control of and no way to appease. For a man like Spot there would be no tears to release the emotions he did not know what else to do with, no there would be violent burst, for using his fists was his only outlet and right now he couldn't afford it.  
  
My mind mulled over the differences thankful for a subject I could ponder that would not leave me near vomiting with worry. Men were raised to be manly men and anything less was not acceptable to society. There were no men who were "sensitive", sensitivity was for the weak and there could be no weakness in men.  
  
While women were cast into the roles of the weak and defenseless, it left men in to positions to be the sole protector. They were taught they had to hold very lives of those who depended on them in their hands. They had to be strong, manly, tough, and there could be no fear. All those words you have heard told to boys in movies and stories on what they had to do to be a man was real here. It was rules they learned in order to live up to the role they were cast into. It was not just words spoken by an insensitive father; no it was a way of life. If they did not learn to live by this way of life then they were outcasts and if you grew up in the class Spot had, you died. While women's roles were unfair, a man's seemed even more unfair. The more I thought about it the more I realized it. We fought with double standards, we fought with being meek and sweet; they fought with having to be Superman.  
  
I did not truly know what Spot's feelings toward me were, there were too many variables in what he had said, but I knew that if I were killed or if Mimic were killed he would blame himself. As far as he was concerned it was his responsibility to take care of me. With me came Mimic and I knew he would lay down his life to protect what he considered his. I knew that he considered me his even if only for a little while, as of right now. I wondered if he fought the same battles within himself, the urge to run, to hide, to forget this ever had happened. Fought with that little voice that made its unwelcome return.  
  
The voice that told me of my worthlessness, that told me of the pain and anguish I brought to all those I had allowed close to me. The pain I saw in my father's eyes when he looked at me, the look that told me in some small way he still blamed me. The pain I had seen in my mothers face after the accident, the accident that had occurred because we had fought. The one and only real fight I had ever had with my mother and she had gone for a drive to cool off. Now Mimic, it whispered, a small defenseless child that looked to you. His only crime was that he knew you and that you let him become close to you.  
  
"Well, boys we gotta act fast, he's alive, but I don't know how long he's gonna stay that way." I heard Spot's voice say and I welcomed his words as they took my attention away from the self-damnation I was fighting. "and I don't know what they're gonna do with him between the time we get there and when you found him. We move early tomorrow morning before the sun comes up. Ghost, Shadow, ya gonna show me and Jacky where he is then ya gonna stay there. If anything changes I want ya to come back here and get me right away. How's the kid lookin do ya think he can make it through tonight? "  
  
"He's pretty bruised, maybe a broken leg, he wasn't really walkin kind of lettin his right leg drag. Other than that we couldn't get close enough to tell." Ghost said looking at me worriedly as he did. " I think he'll be okay tonight, but me and Shadow will stay with him like ya said and let ya know."  
  
I tried not to let my imagination picture it for me, but it did anyway. Images flashed through my mind of how I had last seen Mimic, of how happy he had been; of that smile that would bring a smile to your face in response because of it's sweet joy. Of him following the boys he looked up to around and irritating them. Of his laziness in the mornings and the way he had curled up to me in his sleep like a child to his mother. He had trusted me to take care of him and I had failed him.  
  
From that first night I had held him in my arms and chased away the nightmares left by his scared past he had been mine. I hadn't wanted it, but I had needed it. I had needed the unconditionally love I had only just begun to realize he had given. I had only begun to realize what gift I had been given in this child who thought the world of me. Who didn't care what anyone else thought, who wanted to be near me because I had shown him an ounce of affection. I wished I had been there for him more, I wished I hadn't been so wrapped up in my life that I hadn't made enough room for his. I wished I had insisted he remain in Brooklyn with me, but I had been too worried about how to deal with Spot to care. I wished I hadn't been so selfish, but hindsight is 20/20 while foresight is blind. I hadn't and all the wishing in the world would not bring Mimic back to my side. I could only wish that we brought him home safely.  
  
Images of what could had happened or what could have happened flooded my mind. I felt the fear, I felt the sorrow, I felt the anger, I felt what he must be or must have felt. I felt the sob that welled up in my throat, that I couldn't stop from escaping my lips. I hadn't wanted to cry, I tried not to cry. The tears came like a sudden rainstorm and I wondered at the moisture ran down my face. At first I didn't even realize the cry of rage and pain that echoed through the room was mine.  
  
Spot was on his feet as I struggled to control the sobs that wracked my body, that were so intense no more noise came out, only the shaking of my whole body. I couldn't I was losing, the pity I saw on the others faces made me turn, made me try to run. Yet Spot was there, his strong arms circling me as they had his sister, comforting, as I didn't know he had the power to. He didn't say a word, only held me his chin wresting in my head as he sat on the closest bunk, a gentle hand caressing my back. I tried to pull away, but he swept his arm under my legs and stood. I knew looking into his eyes the humiliation I felt at having broken down like this in front of everyone was all over my face. He said nothing only carried me to his room and shut the door. He held me and I let him soaking the front of his shirt with tears I hadn't even shed when my mother had died.  
  
"We'll get him back." I heard him promise as he stroked my hair comfortingly. He continued to whisper comforting words as I continued to cry. Finally I got myself under control, my body limp with exhaustion, my head pounding at the strength of the emotions I had released without having known they had been bottled up inside. He continued to hold me as the sobs quieted and the tears slowed. Until only soft gasps of breath that follow a particularly strong bought of crying came and the tears stopped all together. I had closed my eyes and he thought me asleep as he kissed my forehead gently. I felt him shift and lay me back on his bed; I felt too spent to disabuse him of the notion I was not awake. He wiped away the tears before standing and opening the door. I let my eyes open to mere slits that unless you were close you would not know I was awake. Glimmer stood just outside worry painted on her face. Her eyes darted to me as he spoke quietly to her and she nodded before stepping past him and into the room.  
  
"Keep a close eye on her." Spot told her. "I'll be back soon."  
  
"I will." Glimmer promised and sat next to me. I watched as he disappeared from view though I could hear the commands he was giving, as they got ready to leave. I did not look at her, she knew I was awake, I could tell in the gentle pat she gave me as she settled back. Instead I stared at the wall and prayed Spot would come back safe.  
  
I felt open completely and it helped me think with a clarity I had not had before. A fierce protectiveness came over me as I lay there; I knew what I had to do. Mimic was mine, mine to protect, mine to love, and mine to take care of. Spot could not do this for me; it was for me to get him out. I knew in my heart that it was a task I must complete or it would never happen. The thought of dying made me frightened, but it did not dull the burning need to hurt the people that had hurt and probably would continue to hurt Mimic. There would be no waiting until morning, I would get him out tonight with every bargaining chip and resource I had, I would get him back.  
  
Don't mistake me for one of those heroines in a book, I did not want to be a hero. I did not do this for recognition or because I was brave, it was something I had to do. It was my responsibility and I was not one to shirk what I knew needed to be done no matter what the cost was. I knew I might die, I knew I might run when actually faced with this task, but I knew I needed to do this. Mimic had looked to me, I had failed him and now I would set it right.  
  
Silently I waited hoping a brilliant plan would come to me until the boys returned. Spot came into check on my and found me still asleep or so he thought. He whispered to Glimmer to stay with me and left again, I heard the rustling and creaking of the boys getting into their bunks. I knew he was taking Glimmer's room, I had heard him tell her that just before he shut the door. I felt Glimmer lie beside me and waited quietly until I thought she was asleep.  
  
Rising I picked up the razor Spot used to shave made my way quietly to the window. As silent as I had been on any hunt with my father I made my way down the fire escape to the ground below, where I reentered the Lodging House. There were boys in the common room, one of which was Spot I could hear his voice. I did not peek around the corner instead I waited. From the shuffling noised I heard I knew they were playing cards, this was the party Spot had taken with him to find Mimic. I was counting on it as I waited patiently for one to leave the common room for the short entryway that hid me in its shadows.  
  
I knew they would get little sleep tonight as they were too keyed up to sleep. To on the edge at the fight they knew was coming with the rising of the sun. My impatience got the better of me and finally I hit my elbow into the wall hoping Spot would send only one to check out what the noise had been. Praying that it would not be Spot himself, they all went silent and looked at each other. Finally after a breathless moment Spot nodded to one of his smaller boys to go check it out. I smiled as he walked around the corner and grabbed him easily the blade going to his throat. He was stronger, but I could inflict damage before he could ever over power me.  
  
"Move outside." I whispered and he started to walk. Once finally outside with the door shut I spoke a little louder. "Did you go with Spot to where they are holding the kid?"  
  
He nodded mutely and I thanked my lucky stars.  
  
"You're gonna take me there." I told him as he tried to twist, I tightened my hold on him. " Look we both know you're stronger, but I guarantee I'm smarter and faster. Take me where I want to go and then you can come back here. Think of it you'll get rid of me and keep your leader out of this."  
  
He stilled as I said the last bit and I released him. I had recognized him as one of the boys who did not particularly like me and had played on it.  
  
"Ya think Spot's not gonna kill me when he figures it out?" he asked.  
  
"I'll kill you now if you don't what do you think is the better option?" I asked. " You may over power me now, but I'll get you later."  
  
"If ya wanta commit suicide who am I to stop ya?" he shrugged figuring it best to face Spot's wrath later than the wrath of me the crazy lady.  
  
"Good boy, now move." I ordered as I heard Glimmers frantic yelling coming from the House. I pushed him down the stairs leading up to the Lodging House and together we broke into a run. we managed to get far enough ahead that Spot would not be able to follow. I looked back just as Spot came flying out of the Lodging House. We had gotten a good head start and I could see Spot throw up his hands in frustration. I saw him turn back to the House issuing orders as he did.  
  
I had just blown whatever plans he had to hell and he wasn't about to come chasing after me without at least some kind of plan. I knew it, I felt my legs shaking as I forced them to run. I was in deep, but I couldn't turn back now. I had made my choice and I would stick by it. I prayed Spot would try to understand before he killed me, that is if Ox didn't beat him to it. I tried to prepare myself as we stopped running, but continued along at a steady pace. I would have to fight this like I did my rapier fights. I did not have strength therefore I would have to fight with agility and rapid thinking. I was going to have to out think my opponent and hope that I could get Mimic away before Ox even knew what had happened. Yet the sinking feeling that was in my stomach told me my intuition didn't think that was going to happen.  
  
  
  
  
  
Falco: He he, poor Spotty boy she just really threw him for a loop. Uh oh, I can't wait to write that show down. I updated so that means more waffles! Yay for me!  
  
Cards: Ohhh, but I want you to write more. I was so excited to see another chapter of World Pizza up today! I'm so glad you like this story! Thank you for the compliments.  
  
Ali: Wow fencing! It is a little different, since fencing had become more a sport than an actual fight, but it still has the same elements. Cool! It's nice to know I'm not the only weirdo that loves to learn a perfectly useless sport. Or so I have heard it called, though it's quite a work out. Ox is an ass, I'll agree! Here's more for your French teacher to shake her head about!  
  
Big Bad Wolf/Grandma (AKA Rumor): You're not too crazy at all! Come on look at how I spend my time and tell me about crazy! Okay I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! You're evil you know that, crack that whip slave master....hey that just gave me an idea. You'll have to read the next chapter or maybe the one after that to see the idea you just gave me. I hope my work doesn't start to suck, but if it does feel free to let me know and I will try my best to correct it.  
  
Spider Chick: Yes, he's an arrogant prick, but at the same time isn't that why we all love him? You asked for more, well you got it. I just hope it wasn't one of those you need to be careful what you wish for moments. I hope you enjoy.  
  
My dear Chelci: Uh oh! I don't think you will be thinking about Skittery for too long right now... or maybe he will just have to comfort you!  
  
Raider: If you have managed to get through all the chapters to see your shout out congrats. I hope it was at the very least an interesting trip. Thank you I am very glad you like it. (Does the new reader reviewed happy dance) As for Lucky give me info.  
  
Galaxy: You reviewed again I had been afraid I had lost you! I think Mimic is going to live, he keeps giving me these cute puppy dog eyes and I'm afraid I just don't have the heart to get rid of such a cute kid. Now all you have to worry about is Cameo.  
  
Hotshot: (Another new reader reviewed happy dance ensues) Well she kind of has her hands full with jerko that is going to take her to Mimic. We all know though Spot doesn't take well to be being defied. Ooops, Cameo is of course oh so repentant. Hell is what we were put on earth to give guys keep up the good work! Cameo salutes you!  
  
J.P: Yay, you are alive! I was beginning to worry. I'm so sorry you are sick, but here is another chapter to cheer you up. If I don't get another chapter from you soon though I'm afraid my muses will go on strike! We don't want that to happen now do we brain mate? Talk to you soon I hope!  
  
  
  
LOVE YOU ALL!  
  
Raeghann 


	22. Lucky

Through the night we moved sometimes running, sometimes walking, but never slowing. I was thankful for the days in the recent past I had spent dancing on a hill to the bag piper at the Renaissance Festival and for the days I had spent walking through New York at the ground-eating pace that Spot always kept. Now I was hardly out of breath as I followed the lead of the young man I had kidnapped away.  
  
"We's almost there." He whispered coming to a stop so suddenly I almost ran into him. I nodded and waited for him to continue on, but he paused. " Ya sure ya wanna do this?"  
  
"No." I replied truthfully. "But I don't have any choice, that little boy in there is mine and I'm not going to let him continue to get hurt because of me. If anyone deserves his treatment it's me and I'm not about to let him continue receiving my punishment."  
  
There was respect in the kid's eyes as he shook his head and silently made his way through the buildings. I was not doing this for respect, but it gave me a nice feeling to see it. Go figure, I'm a social pariah until I decide to risk my life in a way that was bound to get me killed. Typical male, they just aren't impressed unless possible bloodshed was involved. I sighed and shook my head, I would make him leave once I got where I needed to, getting Mimic out was my problem not his and I wasn't about to involve him if at all possible. I looked around and prayed if I got Mimic out I would run in the right direction, because at this time of night and this area I was as lost as a rat in a maze.  
  
Some of the buildings around me looked ready to fall at any moment, the rest looked decrepit and run down. I knew that wherever I was it was where the dregs of society lodged. I prayed I wouldn't be accosted if I managed to make a break with Mimic.  
  
"What are you doin here Depot?" I heard a familiar voice ask, I closed my eyes and threw my braid over my shoulder as I faced Ghost. I had forgotten they were to be keeping watch over Mimic. Ghost looked to me and I saw the light go on, I shrugged as his face took on a determined look. "What the hell were ya thinkin bringin her here?"  
  
"Well mostly that it was the only way not to get my throat slit." He responded crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Spot's gonna slit ya throat when he gets a hold of ya, but that's gonna be after he tortures ya." Ghost replied looking at my hand where Spots razor still rested though it had been closed. "She would have killed ya quick if she even had the guts ta kill ya at all."  
  
"Trust me I would have had the guts to do it." I snapped softly as I flicked my wrist opening the razor with deadly accuracy.  
  
"I don't care if ya slit my throat, but ya goin back." Ghost told me looking nervously at me.  
  
"No, I'm not." I replied with a deadly tone in my voice that had scared bigger men than Ghost. "Now you are going to show me where Mimic is and then you are going to get out of here, both of you."  
  
"I said I'd take ya, but I never said nothin about leavin ya." Depot said giving me that look that I was getting so used to. The one that said I was absolutely batty, the one that said they actually did worry about needing to lock me up.  
  
"Look one innocent kid is mixed up in this whole mess because of me." I argued. " I'm not about to have your blood on my hands too."  
  
They both stared at me the same look of respect mirrored in their faces. I shook my head, as started walking in what I hoped was the right direction. Ghost grabbed my arm and pulled me the opposite way.  
  
"Not that way girly, this way." He said. " Ya blowin Spot's plan to hell, but I think maybe ya just crazy enough to get yaself out of this alive and maybe save Brooklyn the fight."  
  
"I hope so." I sighed. I followed him down the alley we practically had to feel our way through and spilled out on the other side into the light of a street lamp blinking owlishly in it. Ghost pulled me down the street to another alleyway where the moonlight filtered into the bars of a small window. Ghost put a finger to his lips and pointed inside. A small figure huddled on the cold stone floor and I felt tears come to my eyes as I heard his soft sobs. I wanted to cry out to him, to tell him I was there. I felt my hands close over the bars and I looked down at them in curiosity. There was no glass in the window; I could see Mimic shivering in the cold, his breath coming in puffs of white, while the stone was already starting to frost. He would have been dead of hypothermia by morning. The bars were not welded to the frame of the window they were bolted. I knew that if it had been bolted on the inside Mimic would have figured out a way to unbolt them. I couldn't see the bolts in the light that was afforded to me, but I could feel them.  
  
I looked at Ghost with a look of irritated disgust on my face. The bars to an unpaned window were bolted from the outside and they didn't think to just unscrew the bars. He gave me a look that said he was plainly confused and I ignored him my attention going back to Mimic.  
  
"Mimic." I whispered as softly as possible, it was too soft; I took a pebble from the ground at my feet and threw it at him. It bounced harmlessly off the floor in front of him. He looked up at the window, hope shining in his eyes like a beacon in the dark. I made the soft hissing noise that was universal for him to remain silent. He made his way to the window and looked up at me adoringly. My heart contracted as I saw him dragging himself, as he couldn't put weight on his foot. I knew that his leg was useless, I had heard how he had faired, but seeing it made it all the harder.  
  
Ghost and Depot were looking at me waiting for me to show them why I had given them a disgusted look as I pulled the razor forward again. I wedged it into the screws that were holding the frame of the bars to the wall and twisted. It slipped almost making me cut my knuckles on the deadly sharp blade. I tried again, it squeaked as it turned in its rusty hole. Luckily it was not enough noise to draw forth the man I knew that had to be keeping watch over the door that held Mimic. I did not look up, but Depot took his knife from his pocket and set to work on the other side. I could tell they were smacking themselves mentally in the head for not once thinking of just opening the window and letting poor Mimic out.  
  
Women brains, men brawn, perfect illustration. I thought wryly. Spot had planned to come bursting in starting a raging brawl and freeing Mimic. I knew Ox was expecting him to do just that, neither one thought of a quiet break.  
  
Minutes crawled by like hours as we worked, Ghost disappeared to find Shadow and keep the men who were likely keeping watch over the house waiting for Spot Conlon to strike out of our way.  
  
"Damn it." I cried muffling the noise just in time, there were only two screws left and they were both rusted to the frame. I searched around looking for something to use to pry it the rest of the way open. Depot moved further down in the alley way looking as I put my food on the edge we had managed to pull away. Luckily the screws were on the bottom of the frame. I put my weight on it hoping maybe I could push it down. The metal made a horrible creaking noise. Lights went on upstairs and I jumped on the frame knowing that we would be caught. I had only minutes to get Mimic out.  
  
"Depot." I cried as I jumped again the frame breaking away from the window in a horrendous noise. Depot immediately appeared and knelt as I did both of us reaching hands down to Mimic. He reached up his small little hand only inches from Depots; someone was fumbling with the lock on the door. Looking back fearfully, Mimic took a deep breath, put all of his weight on his injured leg and jumped. He cried out in pain, Depot caught his arm and pulled him forward. I winced as I heard Mimic's little body thudding against the wall. I grabbed for his other hand and we hauled him out just as three large men came barreling around the corner and into the alley. Depot pulled Mimic into his arms and both of us took off running. Weaving our way through the debris and the discarded trash pushing it behind us in hopes of slowing our pursuers. It worked in the movies, but of course it did not work for us. Finally we just ran not looking back, hoping against hope we could out run them. I saw Depot dodge ahead of me and into an alley entering it I found he had disappeared. I looked around for a moment, but I could hear the pounding of feet on the pavement that told me the men were right behind. I ran on figuring that Depot at least had gotten Mimic out of the way. I had accomplished my mission, I had gotten Mimic free, I hoped that he would be okay now. My heart felt light as I turned and ran out of the alley into the street lamp. Tears almost flooded my eyes as I saw I was right back where I had started. I had run in a circle and I could see Ox shouting orders ahead of me, two of his goons were hot on my tail. I continued running hoping that maybe I could find shelter across the street. Someone grabbed my arm and I turned swinging ready to try to fight myself free. Looking up into the cold eyes of the man who held me I sighed in relief. My relief was short lived as Spot pulled me back into the alleyway and slammed me against the wall. I gasped for breath as he pressed a passionate kiss to my lips, though this kiss was unlike any previous. It was mechanical and forced; finally he pulled his head up. I saw Ox's men run past and I realized what he had been doing.  
  
"What the hell was that?" I hissed.  
  
"What the hell were ya thinking?" he replied with a question of his own. "I'm ready to kill ya, ya know that? How dare ya disobey me."  
  
" We got him out Spot." I told him, " We got him out with minimal blood shed, with any luck Depot's back at the Lodging House with Mimic. You didn't stop to look at the window to see if you could just pop the screws and let him out."  
  
"No, we did, but we also checked to see if they were rusted." Spot retorted. " Ya lucky the bars were rusted through enough to break or ya wouldn't have gotten him out. We weren't gonna chance it."  
  
"I got him out." I cried.  
  
"Yeah, ya got lucky." Spot fumed, "As soon as we get back to Brooklyn I want ya out."  
  
"What?" I asked in shock it had not been the response I had been expecting.  
  
" I don't tolerate stupidity from any of me boys and I ain't gonna tolerate if from you. Ya goin back to Manhattan if they'll take ya. I'm washin my hands, I ain't gonna get me or me boys killed because of ya stupid actions. Ya started this ya know. If ya had just acted like the woman ya are and gotten a man instead of tryin to take on Ox he wouldn't be after ya. My boys wouldn't be in danger and Jacky's boys wouldn't be in danger. Quill would be alive, and Mimic wouldn't be lookin at spendin the rest of his life with a limp because his legs busted and it probably won't mend right. Ya brought all of this with ya crazy ideas. I can't believe you were stupid enough to wonder off and try to get Mimic out yaself." He hissed, I felt the tears as I realized he was saying all that those voices had whispered over and over again. I looked into those eyes that had been laughing down at me only hours before as he tackled me into the grass. Angrily he grabbed my arm and hauled me around the corner heading in the opposite direction of the building Ox had taken over. My mind tumbled thoughts over each other as I let the hopeless feeling I had kept at bay for so long take over. I allowed him to pull me down the street to where Shadow and Ghost waited, but we were not out of the fire yet. As the boys talked trying to figure out the best way to get out of here and back to the Lodging House I saw a shadow fall over me.  
  
"The mighty Spot Conlon caught like a rat in an alley." I heard Ox say, looking up I saw six of his boys crowd eagerly around behind him waiting for their leader to give them the go ahead. "Ya shoulda just given me the girl."  
  
"I shoulda." Spot responded coolly. "She's more trouble than she's worth."  
  
I could almost smell the bully's fear as he moved further into the alley way and toward Spot. I had no delusions; we were going to die despite the fear I saw there maybe even because of the fear. I watched the way the boys puffed themselves up like birds in the wild trying to seem bigger to frighten away prey. All except the Alpha male of the wolf pack who stood regally and coolly awaiting his fate. If Spot went down Brooklyn would be thrown into chaos, if he lost he would be ousted. This was a lose, lose situation, unless I acted. I weighed my options, I had nothing left, Mimic was safe and Spot hated me. Quietly I stood, my hands and legs shaking as I did the only thing I knew to do.  
  
"Go Spot." I told him. "I'm not your responsibility anymore. You're right I am more trouble than I am worth. This is my mess, my problem not yours."  
  
Spot looked at me for a moment then shrugged, it broke my heart. A heart I didn't think I had enough left to care. His anger at me was still there, glittering in his eyes as he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him roughly.  
  
"Ya my responsibility until I decide otherwise." He hissed fear warring with another emotion as he glared down at me.  
  
"No, I'm not." I whispered. " Think about it, you get yourself killed tonight because of me and Brooklyn will be in chaos, Glimmer could be placed in danger, and these boys with you will die. Be a leader Spot, wash your hands of me as you intended when we got back to Brooklyn and be free. Go, it is my fault, all of it and I will face the repercussions of my actions. "  
  
His eyes clouded over and I could tell he fought with himself; for once his emotions were in turmoil in his eyes instead of under a glassy mirror that those eyes so often were. I watched for a moment then he nodded and stepped away from me. Slowly I turned away and walked to where Ox stood, I felt the heavy hand grip my arm bruising it. I looked back at Spot who looked lost, but he had made his choice. I wanted to kill him and I wanted to kiss him. He was a leader first and foremost, and he knew as I did more people would die if he managed somehow to get me out of the alley alive, if he managed to get out of the alley alive. I looked into those chips of ice and knew he'd be back for me, eventually, though I feared it would be too late. He wouldn't let me die if he could help it, his conscious if nothing else wouldn't let him.  
  
Ox pulled me off telling Spot they were done, that there was nothing more between them. Spot nodded jerkily, his eyes never leaving mine. I wanted to walk away proudly, my head held high, but my legs were shaking too bad so I ended up over Ox's broad shoulder. He carried me up the steps, and the door shut with a finality I did not like.  
  
For the first night I spent in a room much like Mimic's huddling to get what warmth I could from my own body. The next day they moved me, to keep any would be rescuers from saving me. I will spare you the details of the torture they inflicted, as I don't remember them. I will tell you that the next night came Ox's fun; it did not start out as I thought which would be a continuation of my advances the night of Brooklyn's party. It was not, it was much worse.  
  
I will say it began with a whip cutting the back of my shirt to shreds, leaving bleeding welts on my back with a pain unlike anything I had ever experienced. Leaving scars that would follow me for the rest of my life. I remember as they tied my arms above my head and I waited nervously for Ox to swing the whip I saw in his hands I expected Spot to break in. I expected that like some sappy movie he would break in and stop it, but this was no story, no movie. This was life, so he did not. I had walked into this willingly, but I prayed for death. I prayed Spot would save me, but he did not. Eventually I stopped praying.  
  
That first night as I lay there, tears falling freely, my pride already becoming nothing more than a memory my thoughts twirled in my head like leaves on the autumn breeze. They moved like the wind that froze the blood on my back and numbed the pain some of my back. I rolled onto my bleeding back the cold yet dirty stone feeling so good on the burning welts. I spent the night sleepless in too much pain to even think of sleeping  
  
What kind of a hero was he? I remember thinking. Where was he, he should have come by now. As I lay there bleeding doubting him, I still waited for him to appear and break me free to clean the wounds in my back as he told me how he had tried to reach me sooner. He did not; finally I retreated into myself no longer able to handle what was happening.  
  
I do not remember all that I suffered, I remember the whip, I remember the cruel laughter, I remember the humiliation as Ox sought to exact revenge on me for all humiliation I had inflicted on him. He was a monster, a man who enjoyed the pain of others. Days seemed like years, until finally it ended and they tired of me. They did not kill me out right; they locked the door to my cell, leaving me more of a frightened animal than a human. It did not take long to break me, as I had never dealt with physical discomfort on the level they inflicted. I had been as innocent as a lamb for slaughter and though I had tried to be brave, though I had bit my lip until it bleed to keep from screaming, I broke swiftly. Perhaps that is why they tired so quickly, because I broke so easily. They left me bleeding and bruised to die of starvation and the elements, if not from the wounds that still bleed freely. It had seemed like years, in fact it had been no more than days, but they had been inventive in their revenge.  
  
I do not remember all of what they did; my mind had hidden those memories. It is funny the things the brain can do to protect itself, I have never tried to remember those few days, I have no desire to remember. I know only what Lucky told me, I know only what Lucky felt I should know. I am getting ahead of myself again, for I have yet to introduce Lucky.  
  
Lucky was my savior, what the Queens newsie was doing near Ox's new hide out I do not know. I can only suppose she had run off as she usually did when she was upset. I do not remember the whimpering that brought her to investigate, I do not remember scuttling across the room in fear as she broke down the locked door. I do not remember that she had to coax me out of the corner for every time she tried to move close to me I moved away in fear. She told me I had been close to a babbling idiot. She had thought I had been a little slow and had been beaten up on because I could not talk or defend myself. I do not remember nearly screaming in pain as she took off her coat and covered me with it. I do not remember the trip to Queens, I don't remember the flurry of excitement I caused as she somehow managed to half carry me to her friends. I do not remember the days I spent near death, fighting the infection from the dirt that had crusted into my wounds from the floor that had eased the pain. I don't remember calling out "his" name. She refused to talk about it, but except for one night while we sat drinking together. Still there were things she did not say, things that seemed to haunt even her. I did not ask, I did not want to know.  
  
Eventually I began to mend in a sleep that healed both body and mind as best it could. I woke days later, my eyes gritty as they can get from a long sleep too weak to even stand to get to the bathroom only feet away. I had survived purely on Lucky's will power and stubborn refusal to let me die. She was there when I woke, her blue eyes watching me with determination. Determination that had nursed me back to life. I found Mush asleep in a chair only inches from me, Blink stretched out on the floor, Mimic curled at my side the bruises already fading from his ordeal and Crutchy in the bunk only feet away. At first I did not even know my name, though she remembered me from fight in Brooklyn, the fight that had brought me to this. She brought Spot to see me when she first found me to make sure I was who she thought. He had confirmed it and left the emotionless look on his face. Days later Ox was found dead, no one had seen Spot do it, but they all were sure it had been him.  
  
Manhattan had been notified as soon as Spot had confirmed it and those that had become close had rushed to my side. All except Spot, even Glimmer had come; tears of worry and joy in her eyes. Jack had promptly yelled himself blue in the face and I had nodded agreeing with every word of his tirade, which shut him up as soon as he realized I was agreeing with him. They did not wish me to leave Manhattan despite the problems I had caused. I was one of them and they were adamant about me staying.  
  
I waited for Spot, but just as it had been during my little trip to hell he did not come. I was quiet and withdrawn for long after not really who I had been. Eventually my humor came back as did some of my sharp wit, but I had been changed. I had been taught my place in a way I wished never to be repeated. I had lost some of that fiery girl that had caught attention of every newsie. I missed her, but I locked her away and stared out the window wondering some days what to do as I did not know if I could return to selling.  
  
I waited as those horribly romantic stories of women who haunt the windows they waited for their lovers to return by. I did not die to forever wait for Spot's return though. I eventually realized he was never coming and I went about the process of living. Finally the day I saw him waltz by at a party in Manhattan with a girl on his arm I stopped asking myself why he did not come. I felt my heart shatter and I locked what was left away as I had before. Only a chosen few were allowed close, only a chosen few had gotten beyond the wall and stayed there.  
  
Eventually Mush and Blink coached me outside. Eventually I returned to selling and to the Manhattan Lodging House, though I brought with me a new member, as Lucky did not want to leave my side. We sold together with Mimic and I had learned my lesson with him. I cherished the love he gave me and gave him the love he had been looking for. I put away the Gypsy amulet knowing I was not meant to leave yet. That if the time came I would know, knowing I would eventually have to deal with the mess that had become my relationship with Spot. That I could not leave until I knew for certain why he had abandoned me.  
  
  
  
Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and a Merry Christmas to you all (or Happy Holidays).  
  
Chelci: She sure did, bad Cameo, Bad! Sorry you didn't get any of the comforting I am sure you needed.  
  
Dreamer: I know I left you hanging again, sorry, but it makes you come back and read more! Mimic lived! Yay! When are you putting up more?  
  
FyreEye: (new reviewer dance ensues) Yay, thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. Hope this one is as enjoyable as it can be.  
  
Rumor: Here's your whip slave driver. Hope you want more! I'm expecting another long review Grandma!  
  
Galaxy: She didn't die! Yay for Cameo! I try to update frequently, I'm addicted to reviews.  
  
Hotshot: Yup stupid, defiantly stupid, but I think she did her time for it! Though her relationship is on the rocks with Spot, I think they will have to pull through, they just seem made for each other at this point. We'll see I'm a slave of my muses, (and rumor)  
  
Raider: Yay, you made it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who is lost in time.  
  
Ali: Okay your heart is not going to be broken, though Cameo's is...well for right now. Sorry, Spot's a dick again.. makes life more interesting though. I updated now you review.  
  
Rhap: You read it, you finally read it. I was afraid you would be so turned off on the time travel idea that you wouldn't. Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.  
  
JP: Where are you? Did I loose you somewhere?  
  
Falco: Where's my favorite Lazy bum? Where's my waffles? Thanks for the last review again can I have another? 


	23. Becoming me and Sorting things out

Okay, sorry I haven't updated in almost a week (a record high for me), but between Christmas, and spending Christmas on the couch with the flu I haven't had much time to write. So here it is, I hope you all had a better holiday than I did. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Finally I left the window and returned to haunting the roof. I sat quietly listening to Lucky below me pacing as she usually did when she knew I needed to be left alone, but was not willing to actually leave me alone. I was thinking, my eyes turned to the stars as I contemplated the person I had been and the person I was becoming. I could feel the girl I had locked away within myself pushing on the locks. She slipped free sometimes, much to the relief of the newsies. They seemed to delight in the moments I attacked with my old swift wit and humor. I knew Jack was leaving himself wide open for attacks that I only sometimes took, because they all wanted the old me back. Hell I wanted the old me back.  
  
I could hear Glimmer whispering to Lucky as she sat on the fire escape watching her pace. They thought I couldn't hear, how wrong they were.  
  
"What are we going to do Lucky?" Glimmer sighed, "She can't stay like this, she's so distant. I hate to see her like this."  
  
"Well what do ya expect Glim?" Lucky hissed " Ya're asshole of a brother left her to the wolves and then disappears only to reappear with a dumb hussy on his arm. What do ya think that would do to ya? Think of Skit, think of how you would feel."  
  
"I don't even know Spot anymore." Glimmer continued, I peeked over the roof anxious for any news of Spot. That had begun to eat at me, when had I ever languished away for a guy?" He's fightin like crazy almost gettin himself killed. He's dangerous, frightenin."  
  
I had felt the girl I had been fighting against the locks I had placed on her cell. I snorted making me sound more of my old self, dangerous indeed; he hadn't been so dangerous when we were in the alley. Dangerous my foot, his reputation hadn't saved me from nearly dying, the ass. I thought angrily, anger, it had been what had brought me through my mother's death. It would serve me well now; I straightened my shoulders and shook my hair back as I continued to listen.  
  
"She's been actin like Sarah." I hear Glimmer say her voice louder than it had been. Sarah? My mind recoiled from the thought, acting like Sarah? The girl I loved to hate, the defenseless twit that had no backbone? That had no will, that wouldn't argue if it were to save her life? I had become one of the dreaded milksops?  
  
My mind shunned the thought, but as I thought back on it I hadn't been myself. I had allowed the boys to walk on me, I had mindlessly agreed because I had been afraid of what would happen. Fear because of what I had endured, but when had I ever been a person to be ruled by fear? My mind seemed to snap into reality away from the foggy place it had existed in. I had been through hell and survived, when had surviving meant living in fear? I knew that most people would have, but I was not most people, I would not be ruled by what had happened to me, it was not my style. I had lived through traumatic experiences before.  
  
Enough of this B.S., I thought my raw emotions flooding with a hot strength. I'll take this like I have taken everything and you can bet it wasn't lying down. So Spot had left. I had known it was coming, I hadn't trusted him to have the attention span to stay. Why should I spend the rest of my life pining? When had I ever pined? Why in the hell did I care? What was wrong with me, I had lived to become a broken shell of what I had been? I didn't think so.  
  
"What did you say Glimmer?" I asked in a deadly voice as I climbed down the stairs to the landing they were standing on. Lucky whirled her blonde hair flying around her as she did. Her blue eyes widened as she saw me leaning against the ladder watching with a look on my face I hadn't felt in days. "What in the hell did you just call me? Did you dare to call me Sarah?"  
  
She stood her posture much like it had been the night we had first met. We faced off again, her honey brown hair fell around her shoulders, her green eyes flashed. She was seizing me up I could see it as she circled me, I did not move. I stood my ground and watched her my look a warning in itself. It was just like the night we had gained each other's respect. Then she smiled a smile so much like her brother's I felt my heart catch and my newfound resolve crumbling. I fought it pulling on the anger as I had so many times before, the doll mask falling over my face.  
  
"I did." She said simply. " But I don't see Sarah now, welcome back Cameo."  
  
"Thanks." I replied turning on my heel. She didn't want to fight, though I was itching for it. I couldn't bring myself to swing at her. The anger was building and I disappeared into the bunkroom trying to control the emotion I hadn't felt in a while, relishing the raw power of it. I tightened my reign on it though I knew I could take it out on any one of the boys milling about the bunkroom. I would learn control; I would not allow myself more stupid attacks. No more mistakes, no more running off without thinking things through I had had my share of stupid moves to last a life time. I would not be so rash. I had saved Mimic only barely and hadn't saved myself at all. It was time to lock away the rash decisions not what made me, well me. I could learn to survive, I could learn to fit in, but that did not mean I had to lose myself. Words tumbled into my mind in the form of a song that was well known to nearly everyone in my time.  
  
"At first I was afraid,I was petrified, Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side." I smiled to myself as I hummed the lyrics flying through my head, ignoring the looks from both Glimmer and Lucky. "But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong,  
  
and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along."  
  
I closed my eyes as I let the words sink into my resolve and I made them my personal mission. "Go on now go, walk out the door.  
  
Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.  
  
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?  
  
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no not I! I will survive!  
  
For as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive.  
  
I've got all my life to live,  
  
And I've got all my love to give,  
  
and I will survive I will survive!"  
  
I opened my eyes as I finished and looked out at the city breathing in the air deeply. My resolve was by no means steady, but I would survive. Mush and Blink looked out the window worriedly. I ignored them and pushed past into the bunkroom, they looked to the girls quizzically.  
  
"What was that?" I heard Lucky ask as sauntered away from the window. There was that she's crazy tone. I found I almost welcomed that tone, knowing that it meant I was back.  
  
"That was Cameo." Glimmer replied, I could hear the relief and satisfaction in her voice.  
  
Race sat in the corner like a king reigning over the current poker game. I sat next to Jack taking the cigarette that was dangling from his lips and took a deep much needed drag. Jack looked up in surprise at me, Race smiled knowingly as he gathered up the cards and his winnings. I didn't have to even ask as the next shuffle came around and I was automatically dealt in. I looked at my cards and smiled; with a hand like this my luck had to be changing.  
  
I did not make an immediate comeback, but I slowly came out of the protective shell I had thrown over myself and became me again. Jack and I traded quick retorts with casual ease, Blink and Mush egged me on with smiles. Glimmer visited frequently, she joined into what ever we were doing. Things seemed to be returning to normal, life was moving on as it always does. Time keeps moving whether we want it to stop so we can gather ourselves together or not. It does not care if we've suffered a tremendous blow it just keeps flowing.  
  
I noticed one thing in particular as the days went by, they were all careful not to mention Spot's name around me. I did not mention it either; I waited, waited until he would come. I knew eventually he would have to show his face in Manhattan; Jack was refusing to go there. I knew his curiosity would get the better of him and he would have to poke his nose around as he did before. I waited until the day would come when I could take back a little of my own. I kept tight reign on my anger saving up for that moment. I sat back and waited for the moment when I would unleash on him all the reactions of my captivity.  
  
The sky was over cast as we wondered back to the Lodging House, for lunch. We had avoided Tibby's that day since Spot was going to be coming into Manhattan for the first time since my ordeal. I pushed that thought away in favor of others that were less painful.  
  
I could smell snow in the air and we were all dreading it. I had loved cool weather until I had had to work in it. My cheeks were rosy with cold and I couldn't feel either my nose or my hands. My feet luckily were warm enough; I had taken some of my carefully saved money and bought a sturdy pair of boots a size too big and a couple pairs of wool stockings that I wore now. I hated to think of what it would be like when winter really hit though.  
  
I made a mental note to buy some gloves and a scarf for Mimic as I watched him skip ahead rubbing his hands together. He smiled back at me as he ran up the stairs to the bunkroom and I had to catch him before he fell all the way down them.  
  
When I reached the top of the stairs I found Mimic and Mush standing in front of the closed bunkroom door. I could hear voices coming from within. That was odd no one, except us were going to be in Lodging House for lunch today. Which was a good thing since it would consist of bread and meat left over from dinner the night before. It was especially odd since the bunkroom door was rarely ever closed. Mush opened the door and immediately turned around almost running me over as he did.  
  
"Mush, where's the fire?" I asked my curiosity perked at the worried look on his face.  
  
"I forgot me papes back by the bakery, would ya come with me to get them?" he responded though his papers were clutched in his hand.  
  
"Mush, your papers are right in your hands." I told him, he looked to Blink who despite the fact he held his own papers took Mush's hurriedly.  
  
"Those were mine, that's why he forgot his." Blink said hurriedly. I rolled my eyes and pushed past them.  
  
"If you think I'll buy that then you're the crazy ones." I replied. "What is wrong with you guys?"  
  
I stopped dead as heard familiar voices coming from behind the closed door.  
  
"Damn it Spot you have to do this." I heard Glimmer yell.  
  
"I can't do it Bri, I can't." Spot's voice sounded, as I had never heard it. It was lost and full of pain. " I can't."  
  
"Do it Spot." Glimmer hissed. " Talk to her, ya left her to die. Now I don't blame ya, I know and she knows ya did what ya had to do as leader, but walkin by with that slut was crossing over the line. Now ya gonna talk to her tell her what ya told me last night or I'm gonna skin ya alive. She deserves to hear it."  
  
Slowly my hand turned the knob on the door and swung the door open to find a cool pair of eyes looked me over as if searching for the bruises and cuts that had started to fade, though there were scars left that would make me uncomfortable to wear a bikini. Eyes that made my heart freeze and my breath stop in my lungs. Fear filled me almost immobilizing me, but I fought it unwilling to be its prisoner any longer.  
  
" Rover," I said with my old wry tone, though it sounded strained even to my own ears. " Did you get lost on your way home and end up in the Lodging House or did you just loose your way to Tibby's?"  
  
"I had business here." Spot replied quietly, his eyes telling me he was not as together as he seemed.  
  
"Really, well why don't you finish your business and get out of Manhattan," I snapped pulling on the anger that had been building up within me. " I'm sure there's some sweet little thing lounging in your bed waiting anxiously for your return. Stupid girl."  
  
"What's the matter Briar?" Spot growled standing, his eyes were flashing and I remembered Glimmers remarks about his attitude from earlier. I barely managed to keep from cowering, but he caught the action. I could tell when his tone softened a little as he continued. "Jealous?"  
  
He seemed more dangerous, anger crackled between us like lightning and I wasn't sure I could handle it. My knees were already going to give out just because he was here, my eyes frantically battling tears. He had abandoned me and left me to die. I tried to remind myself as I fought the urge to throw myself into his arms. Arms that looked quite willing to hold me.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself Spot." I retorted taking away from him. "That would mean I gave a shit."  
  
Mush took a step forward, but I saw Lucky place a hand on his shoulder. He looked from her to me, but stayed where he was. Spot stared at me for a moment, was that hurt I saw in those eyes? We stared each other down; coolly calmly I stood though inside I was shaking with emotion.  
  
"I would have thought ya would have learned ya lesson." he said finally. "I had hoped to find a lady."  
  
"I am a lady remember Spot?" I hissed " And you said you'd soak anyone who said otherwise. I think it's going to be difficult teaching yourself a lesson, but I'd be happy to help."  
  
"Jack said ya were coming back to yaself." Spot's voice held a note of satisfaction and I glared at him.  
  
"If it weren't for you I wouldn't have had to come back to myself." I growled. "Get out, I have nothing more to say to you."  
  
"Well I can't finish my business until I talk to ya." Spot told me his tone almost gentle. I clutched my head as I felt one of the headaches that always followed thoughts of my captivity coming on. Mimic put a worried hand through my own and I smiled reassuringly at him.  
  
"Don't ya think ya done enough damage?" Blink asked angrily coming to stand in front of me. "Go back to Brooklyn Spotty boy, we don't want ya here."  
  
"I can't do that until I've talked to her alone." Spot replied getting almost nose-to-nose with Blink. " Don't get in my way Kid Blink, I'll murder ya. Ya know I can take ya and Mush."  
  
"Leave her alone." Mimic's childish voice rang out above the older kid's voices. "Haven't ya hurt her enough?"  
  
"Look all I'm askin for here is a few minutes." Spot cried. " All of ya get out and let me talk to her for a few minutes, or my sister will never leave me alone."  
  
"She'll be okay, I promise." Glimmer said quietly. "She better be."  
  
The last was said with a warning look as she ushered them out the door. I watched helplessly not wanting to be alone with him.  
  
"We'll be just downstairs." Glimmer told us before the door shut reminding me sharply of the night Ox had shut the door with a finality that had made me quiver with fear. I sat on the nearest bunk to hide my shaking legs.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked finally never looking at him, my eyes attached my gaze to the floor and I refused to look up.  
  
"I wanted to say I'm sorry." He sighed. " I'm sorry I left ya with Ox, I'm sorry I didn't save ya."  
  
"Are you?"  
  
"Yeah." He growled. " I didn't want to leave ya that night, but I figured we could get ya out. I figured Ghost and Shadow would find ya like they found Mimic. They tried to follow, but Ox lost them. We searched for you, but we couldn't find a trace. I... I tried Briar."  
  
"Did you?" my voice was toneless, though the damnation in them was unmistakable. "Obviously not hard enough."  
  
"I know." I looked up at his words not expecting the self-damnation I heard in them. I knew that look, I knew that feeling I had felt all the emotions I saw flittering through his face. I had felt them myself the night I found Mimic had been taken.  
  
Mimic and I had never talked about it, we had just picked up and moved on, unwilling to waste another moment on the pain that we had struggled through. Though some nights I held him and cried for all I had put him through. He pretended to sleep, but I knew he wasn't as I felt his little hand twine in my hair or gently rub my arm. Was it fair for me to condemn Spot for what I had done as well? For leaving me to a mess that was not his making. When it all came down to it all that had happened had been my fault had been because of my own stupidity. I had paid for it, but was it right to make Spot pay for it as well?  
  
Mimic had forgiven me without even prodding, but then I had come for Mimic. Spot had never appeared. He couldn't a little voice whispered. He tried, but he couldn't find you. I tried to push it away preferring the anger that I had horded waiting for this moment, but as I reached for it and Spot braced himself for what he could see coming on my face I found nothing there.  
  
"Go ahead." He said softly. " I deserve it. I failed ya, I left ya, I even tried to forget ya, but that girl didn't help. She just made me feel like shit for doing that to ya."  
  
I wanted to resent him, but I understood something that made resentment almost impossible for me. I knew what he had done. He had been so angry with himself at what he had done or had not been able to do he had tried to push me out of his life. Tried to forget his failure in hopes he could forget everything.  
  
"It's alright Spot." I responded, the words coming out slowly. I didn't know what to do, I had managed to pull myself back to normal based on the anger I had felt toward Spot and now that there wasn't any there I didn't know how to react.  
  
"I don't deserve to be forgiven." He whispered as he knelt in front of me, not touching me, but looking at me.  
  
"Don't you?" I asked taking his hand and patting it. " Mimic forgave me long ago and what he went through was all of my making."  
  
" But I'm a man. It was my job to protect ya." Spot said bitterly. " I failed, I didn't do what I was put on this earth to do and that's protect my women. Even from their selves sometimes and then I told ya I wanted ya to get out. I was just so angry Briar I didn't know what to do. I had been so afraid you would be dead before I got there and then when you were alive I was so angry I wanted to kill ya myself."  
  
"You tried Spot, you just didn't get there in time." I found myself saying in a sympathetic voice. " I'm alive and for that I will be eternally grateful. You can to back to Brooklyn with a clear conscience."  
  
He looked at me for a moment then stood, my heart was in my throat as I watched him start to walk to the door.  
  
"Briar?" he asked suddenly without turning around. " Do ya think this ruined what we had goin?"  
  
His back was straight as he waited; it had been a hard question for him to ask I was sure. It would have been so much easier for him to walk out the door forever and never look back.  
  
"I don't know Spot." I said truthfully, he took a step forward. I watched as he walked to the door and paused again, I squeezed my eyes shut unable to watch to see if he left or if he turned. I did not hear him turn and walk to me, though I felt hands gently touch my face. I shrank away unable to help in involuntary action. I felt gently lips on mine that I shrunk away from, fear filled me and my eyes flew open.  
  
"I won't hurt ya." Spot whispered the pain in his eyes as he realized why I was reacting the way I did made me look away. Slowly I felt his arms close around me. Arms I had longed for since that night. I felt the tears that blinded me slide down my cheeks as I stiffened. He didn't let me go instead he continued to hold me until I relaxed. "I won't let anyone else hurt ya either, not ever again."  
  
"Oh how cliché." I said my voice somewhere between a laugh and a sob. He chuckled and held me closer. We stayed like that for a few moments until I raised my head, placed a hand on his cheek and turned his face so his lips met mine. For a moment I felt as if I was suffocating and my body trembled with fear, but Spot did not move. He waited patiently for me to make the next move finally I hesitantly kissed him. Still he gave me the control and when I finally pulled away my breathlessness had nothing to do with fear.  
  
"I'm sorry Briar." He whispered as he blinked away tears that I knew he would do what he could to keep from shedding. He was a man, he was a pillar of strength, but he had emotions.  
  
"Tell me one thing Conlon." I commanded taking his face in both of my hands. " Did you kill Ox?"  
  
He looked away shame on his face as he held me close and nodded. I didn't say anything more; I figured if he wanted to tell me he would. Finally he broke the silence and I listened, my hand in his, for the demons I knew haunted him.  
  
"When Lucky came to see me after you were missin and told me she had ya, well I went to make sure. You were so broken Briar." He whispered caught in memories I was sure he wished he had been blessed with the ability to forget. "You were layin there in that bed hardly alive. I've seen my own boys beaten less and watched them die. There was bruises everywhere, cuts and welts and...there wasn't an inch of ya that wasn't hurt, except for ya face. If it hadn't been for that I wouldn't have been able to tell it was you."  
  
He trailed off chocking on the words and I waited patiently. I felt detached as I listened to him describe how I had looked, it was as if he was talking about someone else. I couldn't imagine how I had first looked especially since it was weeks before I was even coherent enough to realize I was alive. I saw the single tear that made it's way down his cheek before he brushed it angrily away and forced himself to go on.  
  
"I made Lucky take me to where they had held ya." Spot continued his eyes burning with hatred. " It wasn't fit for a dog and there was dried blood on the floor. Your blood...... I went crazy, I couldn't take it. I didn't know if you would live or die, but if ya lived I wasn't gonna let him ever touch you again."  
  
"Take me there." I whispered the determination in my voice as I found the perfect way to face my demons. The perfect way to let it all go.  
  
"No." Spot replied. " I can't do that. Lucky says ya don't remember anything and I don't want ya to see what they did."  
  
"Take me Spot." My voice was soft, but the stubborn command made him shake his head not in denial, but in worry. " I have my own demons to exercise, please take me there."  
  
Slowly he stood, helping me up as he did. I followed him as he walked silently down the stairs. Blink, Lucky and Glimmer trailed us through the streets as we walked. Mush stayed back at the Lodging House with Mimic, he had only nodded as Spot had issued his own orders. I pulled my coat around me tightly as we slowed and eventually stopped in front of a ramshackle house not too unlike the one we had found Mimic in.  
  
"Are ya sure?" Spot asked stopping and turning back to me. I nodded and hesitating only for a moment at the door as he opened it.  
  
"Stay here Spot." I told him quietly as I entered the house.  
  
"I'm not letting ya face this alone." Was his stubborn response, I looked at him for a moment then nodded and slowly made my way down the staircase to the room that had been my hell.  
  
A whip lay discarded on the floor, a table with bits of rope that was crudely tied to it was in the corner. A jaggedly dull knife winked from the table as I neared it. Looking at the floor in the faded light I saw the smears of blood on the stone. My screams echoed off the walls to fill my ears. The rope that had held my arms up still hung from the ceiling beams. There were nothing more than vague memories and a dull ache that began to throb in my temples. It was as if all this had been done to someone else.  
  
"It is over." I whispered fiercely to the ghost of the man who had done this. " I will walk out of here and if I can help it I will never think of you again."  
  
"He can't touch ya Briar." Spot's voice echoed in the room as he wrapped his arms around me. "Not ever again,"  
  
"Let's go." I sighed breathing in the scent that was all Spot. I took a deep breath of it trying to block out the smells of the room. I walked from that room taking with someone with me.  
  
The person I had been the person I would continue to be. I would not let him win for in locking myself away I had been doing just that. The trials of my life would not be over, but this one I could close the door on.  
  
" Be careful, my child, your path will not be easy." I heard the gypsies voice echo back at me. What an understatement that had been, had I known what I was signing up for I would thrown that amulet at her head. I had to admit though I learned some of life's most valuable lessons. I thought about the amulet, maybe it was time to give it back to the gypsies.  
  
I looked at Spot who smiled at me, our relationship would not suddenly be okay. There was too much hurt and anger in each other's actions just brush it all aside and forget it. We would have to work through it, but that is what life is. That is what separates fairy tale love from real love. That is what we had lost in the future. With the coming of an easy divorce we had forgotten how to work at a relationship. We expected fairytale endings and if things didn't live up we did not work it out we got a divorce. Too many people got married without the knowledge that a marriage was not only work, but hard work.  
  
I was not expecting marriage from Spot, but it would take an awful lot of work to get beyond the feelings we had accumulated in the past weeks. Work that I thought we would both be able to work through. If we couldn't I hoped we would be able to continue without bitter feelings.  
  
I hoped my secret would not eventually tear us apart. I hoped I would never have to tell him the truth. Unfortunately though whether we want it or not, the truth has a habit of worming it's way out.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Cards: I hope I didn't go too off of his character here. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
  
Chelci: You cried? Really? Wow, I guess I'll take that as a compliment. Was this good enough Glimmer time for you?  
  
Hotshot: Well she's got herself back! Yay, I couldn't loose my character, she makes me laugh too much! You will find that she will make all of the choices you mentioned. That is all I tell you though. I hope you liked this chapter, the last one you seemed a little iffy on.  
  
Ali: Oh my dear, I am so sorry your heart is broken, but I hope Spot and Cameo time has made up for it. Did that explain things enough for you? I hope you're all better now, I updated!  
  
Dreamer: Okay no hostages here you go, hope you liked it!  
  
Spider Chick: People had a much different outlook on punishment then, I tried to stick to it. Hope you liked this chapter!  
  
Raider: More you! And I hope Spot isn't as much of a prick in this chapter. Did you like it?  
  
Rhap: Okay no more tears, well not for another couple of chapters anyway. I hope you enjoyed this. I've really enjoyed your story keep it coming!  
  
JP: Ah, yay, you read and reviewed. Your speechless? Wow I did do good with the last chapter. Hope this one gives you a similar reaction. I hope your Christmas was good. Did Steff go crazy over her presents? Yay you updated too. Okay so did I hope you liked it.  
  
Galaxy: Woah, bad me....sorry. Okay I updated are you happy? Hey guess what now he's not a jerk again. AHHHHHH don't shoot me.  
  
Indy: Okay now you know what happens next. I'll update sooner I promise, I usually do anyway. Hope you liked this one.  
  
Sparkle Conlon: Hey if you make it all the way here guess what (does new reviewer happy dance) you got a shout out! Thank you for reviewing, I hope you continue to like it.  
  
Aycay: Wow what a compliment. Thank you! (See Sparkle Conlon's SO for the dance). I am glad you like it and I hope you continue to do so.  
  
Fearless: Yay you liked it. I'll IM you as soon as the bloody thing will let me log in. We'll talk!  
  
Okay I think that's everyone if I forgot you yell at me and I'll give you another SO when I read me next reviews. Thank you all you are all wonderful! 


	24. Drinking and why it shouldn't be done

I don't own the Scotsman; don't sue because I don't know who does. Thank you for letting me borrow it. Oh and I don't own I Will Survive either.  
  
For the next few weeks I was homeless traveling between Brooklyn and Manhattan as I pleased. I sold in both areas, I slept in either lodging house, but one thing stayed the same I was usually with Spot. Mush, Blink, and Crutchy were all worried at first, but eventually they relaxed. My friendship with Crutchy though was forever strained. No matter how well Spot treated me Crutchy did not like him and did not trust him. Unfortunately it caused a rift between us, we spent some time together, but not as much as we used to and I missed it. Mimic went wherever I did, he was my constant shadow at least when it was appropriate for him to be around. Girl's night was never one of those times.  
  
"Did ya see Sarah at the distrabution center today all over Jack?" Lucky asked from the tone in her voice I detected a little bit of jealousy.  
  
"Are you jealous?" Glimmer teased picking up that train of though immediately.  
  
"Of course not, she's a stupid idiot though." Lucky replied defensively.  
  
"Speaking of, I can't believe you called me Sarah." I said one night as we had gathered around the roof. Glimmer had brought up her brother's stash of whiskey and we had opened it greedily. I knew Spot would be furious and almost relished the thought. Normally we were good girls, generally we did not drink, but we had all had a really bad day and we figured we deserved it.  
  
"It snapped ya out of it didn't it?" Glimmer asked as she snagged the bottle I was drinking from and took a swig. "Worked like a charm."  
  
The last words were husky as the cheap whisky burned its way down her throat.  
  
"A SCOTS MAN IN A KILT LEFT A BAR ONE EVENING FAIR." I warbled stopping long enough to snag my bottle back and take another swig. We found that though none of us had many female friends for most of our life it was nice to spend time with those that were not fascinated with various workings of the body that we found rather disgusting.  
  
"I don't know that one." Glimmer giggled taking the bottle from me, as I took a drag off my cigarette. There was just something about drinking that made me smoke. They seem to go hand in hand.  
  
"You've been deprived child." I told her. " It's one of the gems of the Ren Faire."  
  
"What the hell is Ren Faire?"  
  
"This faire where everyone dresses up like they lived in the...." I trailed off at her blank look. " Kind of like a carnival only set a long time ago, like the play I dragged you both to a few weeks ago."  
  
" You mean where the guys wore the stupid tights, that talked like idiots?" Lucky asked. I nodded figuring it was best not to correct her on the fine points of Shakespearian acting at this point.  
  
"Like idiots." Glimmer agreed giggling again.  
  
" I didn't know you knew how to giggle." I replied with a giggle of my own. I stopped short at the unfamiliar sound. "For that matter I didn't know I knew how to giggle."  
  
"Stop babbling and finish the song." Lucky growled taking two swigs and glaring at me.  
  
"AND ONE COULD TELL BY HOW HE WALKED HE'D DRUNK FAR MORE THAN HIS SHARE." I continued going off key at the end of it and shaking my head before continuing. " HE STUMBLED 'ROUND 'TILL HE COULD NO LONGER KEEP HIS FEET, THEN HE STUMBLED OFF INTO THE TREES TO SLEEP BESIDE THE STREET."  
  
"Has anyone ever told you that when you drink you sing like a drunk Irishman?" Lucky asked over the chorus.  
  
"Funny, I'm half Irish." I replied trying to stand and failing miserably. I looked to the four other bottles littering our little powwow, hum; maybe we should have stopped at two.  
  
"Figures." Lucky got in before I continued my little ditty.  
  
"WELL LATER ON TWO.." I trailed off for a moment. " wait make that three YOUNG AND LOVELY GIRLS JUST HAPPENED BY."  
  
I laughed as Glimmer stood and bowed then fell flat on her face.  
  
"ONE SAYS TO THE OTHERS WITH A TWINKLE IN HER EYE, DO YA SEE YON SLEEPING SCOTSMAN SO STRONG AND HANDSOME BUILT I WONDER IF IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY DON'T WEAR BENEATH THEIR KILT. OH, RING-DING diddle diddle aye-dee-oh  
  
Ring di-diddle- oh day I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath theIR kilt."  
  
Glimmer caught on and sang the chorus with me and giggled some more as I continued on.  
  
"So they kept up on the sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be  
  
And they lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see  
  
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt,  
  
Twas nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.  
  
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh  
  
Ring di-diddle-oh day  
  
Twas nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.  
  
Well they marveled for a moment, then one said, "We best be gone."  
  
"But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."  
  
So as a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow  
  
Around the bonnie star the Scotmans kilt did lift and show.  
  
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh  
  
Ring di-diddlee-oh day  
  
Around the bonnie star the Scotman's kild did lift and show.  
  
When the Scotsman woke to nature's call, he stumbled towards the trees  
  
Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees,  
  
And in a startled voice, he says to what's before his eyes,  
  
"Ach lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!  
  
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh  
  
Ring di-diddlee-oh day  
  
"ach lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!"  
  
Glimmer collapsed in a fit of laughter and even Lucky was rolling on the roof's floor by this point while I stumbled drunkenly to where they lay trying not to laugh as I fell next to them.  
  
" What the bloody hell is going on up here?" an irate voice made us all roll up to look at the two heads that were just at the edge of the ladder leading to the roof. Spot surveyed us with a slightly disgusted look on his face, while Skittery made a beeline for Glimmer who only giggled and rolled away. " Ya shoutin is wakin up the whole neighborhood. Ya got my sister drunk?"  
  
The last was said for me and I received one of his best glares. I raised my hands and gave him an innocent look.  
  
"No." I replied with the you must be an idiot tone only used by the drunk. Things always seem to make more sense when you are drunk than to someone who is sober listening to a drunk. "I believe that was the whiskey, at least I think it was whisky ask your sister she provided the beverages tonight."  
  
"Cameo," Spot snapped as I stood and wove unable to stand still for a moment.  
  
"Spot." I mimicked, then giggled as I belched, something that made Spot look even more disgusted. " Ya know only a few hours ago you were laughing at Depot as he belched his alphabet."  
  
"Depot's a man."  
  
"And I'm a woman, learn your place Cameo." I retorted. " Awe shove it up your ass. I'll have you know that in a hundred years women will be not only voting, but also working. That's right you egotistical bastard they will be working, not at home, but real jobs. They will be doctors and lawyers and high paid executives like Mr. Pulitzer himself."  
  
"Ya startin to sound like a suffregette." Spot growled. "Is that what ya think women should be doin?"  
  
"Not what I personally want to do, but if it floats their boat why not?" I asked as I stumbled away from his searching hands and fell over Lucky. "Sorry."  
  
My apology was in vain as Lucky had passed out, cold. I saw one of Spots boys look over the railing at him and watched Spot wave him over. He picked Lucky up and scampered to the railing.  
  
"Bye Lucky." I said waving. "Sweet dreams. That's another thing, in a hundred years women will be able to wear what they want and say what they want. If they drink well, hell, the men will pour themselves a glass and join in. Guess what they won't be sluts either. Though I think the concept of free love would boggle your mind."  
  
"Free love like that one suffragette that got kicked out was talkin about?" Spot asked his face taking on a look I wasn't sure I liked.  
  
"Awe leave her alone Spotty boy, we's enjoyin ourselves." Glimmer broke in as Skittery helped her to the ladder.  
  
"A little too much." Spot seethed. " Skittery if ya touch my sister I'll personally break every bone in ya hands. She better be in her room alone when I'm done dealing with this."  
  
Skittery nodded while he pulled Glimmer along, who was intently trying to get him to stop and kiss her. Spot watched them go a worried look on his face, that lasted a moment then he was looking at me with an annoyed look.  
  
"How are you going to deal with it Spotty?" I asked giving him a mischievous look. He shook his head and took a step toward me, which I sidestepped with surprising ease considering the state of my balance at this point. " How are you going to handle my radical ideas? Ideas that will not be so radical in about oh about sixty years."  
  
"I hope to God ya're wrong." Spot said as he took another step toward me. "This may be a changing time, but sluts are the only people who take people into their beds before marriage. I don't care what ya women were meant to hold out until marriage and that is how it better stay. None of my women will be giving themselves to anyone ya got that?"  
  
"Am I a slut then Spot?" I asked stopping dead from my task of evading him and glaring. "And did you just say? Women are meant to hold out? What about men? It's less of a sin if a man does it? And who the hell are you to tell me what to do. I'm not yours Spot, you don't own me. We could take a look, but I'm pretty sure Property of Spot Conlon has not been tattooed on my ass."  
  
"You are mine you got that?" He hissed. " Ain't nobody gonna touch you unless it's me. As for what ya said before, I don't know Cameo, are ya a slut?"  
  
He seemed so calm as he neared me. I stood and let him come no longer interested in leading him around the roof in a merry chase. I smiled that secretive seductive smile all women at one point learn and crooked my finger at him. He moved closer his eyes watching me warily managing to jump out of the way of my knee just at the last moment.  
  
"Well at least you're feeling like yourself." He said under his breath as I struggled to free myself from his grasp. I only succeeded in tumbling us both to the ground and unfortunately I ended up with the breath knocked out of me as Spot landed on top. I blinked up at him, our eyes caught and we both stopped. I knew the kiss was coming, I didn't fight it, and I waited patiently. I closed my eyes enjoying the sensations too drunk to care what liberties he took at this point. It was the second time I was at his mercy and the second time he chose not to take the opening he had.  
  
"Ya're drunk." He said as he rolled off of me and ran a hand through the hair I had disheveled.  
  
"What's the matter Rover, did you lose your sex drive?" I asked. " Your mojo."  
  
I laughed at the joke he didn't get; he shook his head taking what I had said personally.  
  
"If and when I decide to take ya to bed Briar." He hissed leaning over me his hand sliding under my already half unbuttoned shirt. "I want ya to know exactly what ya doin without any alcohol to loosin ya up. Ya're gonna ask me to, ya gonna be beggin me to."  
  
I sat ignoring where his hand was acting as if his gentle caresses on my upper stomach weren't distracting me.  
  
"Don't hold your breath Spot, I don't beg for anything." I told him in a perfectly even tone that told him despite the alcohol that was flying through my veins I was deadly serious. " Getting that involved with you would be a mistake."  
  
"Why?" his voice was soft.  
  
"Come on Spot, the whole reason you're interested is because sexually you can't have me." I replied. " If you had me you wouldn't want me and I'm not going to be another one of your many girls. The only way you can have this is if I have a ring on my left hand and that isn't going to happen."  
  
"So for all ya talk of free love ya just like all the other good girls." Spot sneered.  
  
"I'm not an idiot Spot." I snapped. " Men want sex, they practically live for it. Women get emotional over it; you just want a quick lay. You want a moment of pleasure before you button up your pants and go. I refuse to get that emotionally attached to anyone who is not going to give me a commitment and we both know that you are not about to get married."  
  
" I could have had you." Spot reminded me.  
  
"Stupid you." I responded standing, my lovely buzz was gone leaving me with a slightly nauseated feeling and cloudy demeanor. " Should have taken the chance while you had it."  
  
I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me back down to his lap. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips on the sensitive part of my neck.  
  
"Are ya challengin the fact I could still have ya?"  
  
"Spot, right now you respect me." I whispered. " It's the only thing that has set me apart from everyone else. If I break then you will no longer respect me and we will be done."  
  
"You couldn't stop me right now could ya?" his words tickled my ear in a way I knew was well practiced. I shook my head tears coming to my eyes as I realized he was right. "Why?"  
  
"Because I love you." I said before I could stop the words from tumbling from my mouth they had. Mentally I slapped myself; angry I had chosen to get drunk tonight. His hands stopped their seductive rubbing on my arms, stopped dead and I pulled out away from them.  
  
"What did you just say?" he asked, I refused to look at him the terror at what his reaction to my words would be making me want to run.  
  
"Nothing, Spot, I said nothing." I replied in a flustered way. I knew better than to drink, I always said more than I wanted to. Now the secret I had kept close to my heart was out, as was my heart. Right there in his hands for him to crush at the slightest moment. His hands caught my arms whirling me before I could escape to the sanctuary of the bunkroom below. I fought him wanting to be free, needing to be free, needing to be anywhere, but here.  
  
"Say it again Briar." He ordered shaking me. My teeth rattled as I looked up and into those blue eyes that had captured my attention and probably my heart from the first moment I had seen them. I shook my head mutinously. " What did you say? Say it!"  
  
"What that I love you?" I cried unable to stop it yet again. I hated loosing control; I hated to think of what this would do to us. " That you made me feel like I haven't felt in years. Hell you just plain made me feel. Why do you need to hear it? So you can crush me? You have it Spot, my heart is in the palm of your hand to do with as you please and just like all the other twits before me I'd let you do anything. I'd give you liberties that I swore I would never let a man have again. I would forget anything and everything for one night in your arms. I could and one day might throw everything away for it. You confuse me, and frustrate me, yet despite it all I love you. Damn it, damn the alcohol that is letting me say this to you. So go ahead Spot, you've won take advantage of it, kiss me and then take me down to your room, because you can you have me right where you have had all the other girls."  
  
"You're not the other girls." He whispered as he touched my cheek brushing away the tears I did not know were falling. "If I took you to bed it wouldn't be like that."  
  
"I'm sure that is what you've told them all."  
  
"I have." He admitted. " I've lied with the best of them to get girls into bed with me. I wouldn't lie to ya, still ya drunk, let's get you in bed."  
  
"Will you be joining me or wont you?" I asked as I walked to the ladder steadily.  
  
" I won't." I heard him say. " Ya're right I do respect ya and I don't know if I would after having ya. For some reason that matters."  
  
I nodded and swung my leg over ready to climb down and lay down.  
  
"Briar, where are ya from?" Spot asked as he started across the roof as well. I looked up at him as he climbed down.  
  
"Colorado." I told him simply.  
  
"Are you?" he queried sharply as his feet hit the ground. His hands slid behind me, pulling me close. His lips as they brushed mine were not as they had been. There was a tenderness and a sweetness to this kiss that I had not previously felt. It took both of our wills to end it. He brushed my cheek as I moved away and to the window.  
  
"I am." I told him as I turned away to the window .  
  
"Briar?" I heard him ask I turned and waited patiently. " Where did you get all those things ya said about the future?"  
  
"Call it a guess." I replied unsure of what else to tell him. I could tell him the truth, but I doubted he'd buy it. " Maybe I'm psychic."  
  
He chuckled and shook his head as I opened the window.  
  
"Briar?" He said his voice so soft I almost missed it.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
He looked at me for a moment looking as if he wanted to say something, but didn't know how.  
  
"Goodnight." He said finally.  
  
"Goodnight." I smiled and entered the room I often shared with Glimmer, closing the window behind me. What had he been going to say? I doubted it was the words I had hoped for. It wasn't his style, even if he married I doubted he would tell his wife he loved her unless it was a dire emergency. Unless, of course, he wanted to get her in bed, then I had no doubt he would play that card. I knew that he wasn't above that trick, I took it as a good sign he hadn't said it to me.  
  
" Damn Spot he has to poke his nose in everything." I heard Glimmer grumble as I began changing  
  
"Tell me about it." I replied wryly.  
  
Fearless: Thanks for the review from last chapter!  
  
Chelci: More Glimmer time, I know, I know you want more touching moments, but the shit is about to hit the fan and well, the muses haven't given me the proper opening.  
  
Hotshot: I promise I won't compare Cameo to Sarah again. Emotions can be a hard thing to write with Spot. He's such a hard character to show feelings with. He has them undoubtedly, but he isn't one to really show them. AHHH I'm trying though pulling my hair out trying.  
  
Rhap: Wow, my head isn't going to fit through the door if you keep this up. Thank you! Of course I read your story and I am enjoying it very much!  
  
Aycay: Awe shucks stop it! Thank you really, that means a lot. Here's more for you to ponder over!  
  
Galaxy: No more mood changes in our ever-brooding Spot. At least not ones off of what happened previously. I hope you like this chapter too!  
  
Erinkathleen: (Does infamous new reviewer happy dance) Thank you, I am very glad you are interested in my humble story.  
  
Falco: AHH Falco fresh waffles! Yay. I am so glad you are back! I'm also very glad you liked the story. Aren't you glad you didn't have to wait a week for the last chapter? Unlike everyone else who was left wondering you got to read them back to back. Hope you like this one! Where did my story go on your site? I can't find it.  
  
Ali: Honey, this chapter's for you too. I figured it would be romantic enough for my hopeless romantic! 


	25. Surprise!

Got to dedicate this chapter to Angela again. What would I do without you to keep me from writer's block?  
  
I awoke the next morning to the most horrendously loud noise, a noise that made my already aching head pound with a ferocity that made my eyes water. Opening my gritty eyes slightly I saw Spot standing above Glimmer and me with a pot and a spoon banging on it vigorously. He was smiling like a Cheshire cat as he continued his torture. Glimmer didn't move except to hook a foot behind her brother's ankle and pull tumbling Spot, the pot, and the spoon to the floor. I managed a croak that passed for a laugh.  
  
"Shadup." I heard her say through the pillow that her head was buried in.  
  
"Come on get up ya lazy bums we got papes to sell." Spot crowed picking himself up with a smart smack to Glimmer's rump.  
  
"Spot ya don't get outta here and I'm gonna....." Glimmer began.  
  
"Ya gonna what little girl?" Spot cut her off, raising an eyebrow. " I didn't wanna have to do this, but come on in boys."  
  
I tried to open my eyes to see what was happening, but gave up and rolled over. I was just falling asleep again when the shocking sensation of freezing cold water thrown over us brought us both up gasping and spluttering.  
  
"The sheets are washed, you've had a bath and now ya can get dressed." Spot said with satisfaction. "All in a days work."  
  
I threw my soggy pillow at him, which was a mistake as I was wearing a white nightgown. Hastily I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced at Glimmer who was sitting in a similar position.  
  
"I'll get ya back for this brother dear." She warned.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, promises. " Spot replied. " Get dressed, I expect ya downstairs in five minutes or more water is gonna find it's way in here."  
  
"Like we could go back to sleep now, we'd catch our death." Glimmer retorted.  
  
"Speak for yourself." I groaned rolling over. My head was still spinning giving me that half way between drunk and hangover feeling. "Now I remember why I don't usually drink my problems away."  
  
Glimmer just nodded in agreement as I watched her get up and get ready. Eventually I pulled myself out of bed and grabbed my clothes; slowly I meandered into the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I prayed it would be a nice day, if we were lucky we could get back to the Lodging House during lunch to air out the sheets and mattress long enough to dry. Other wise we would be staying in Manhattan. Spot hustled us down the stairs enjoying our discomfort immensely, which was starting to wear on my nerves. Eventually the feeling faded and I got into selling with a surprising vigor. I was hot, I loved it, those days when everything fell into place and you sold like there was no tomorrow. It made you glow with self-satisfaction.  
  
"So Briar, where did ya get the whiskey?" Spot asked as we made our way back to the Lodging House for lunch. He had a gleam in his eye that told me he knew exactly where it had come from and he wasn't happy about it.  
  
"It was probably from your secret stash." I replied honestly just before opening the door and starting for the steps.  
  
"What the hell were you doing drinking my stash." He snapped. "It's mine, ya got it, and don't ya ever touch my things again."  
  
"Yes master." I replied wryly. " You've got to admit it was worth it Spot to know you've got me right where you want me."  
  
I didn't look at him as I made my way up the stairs and began stripping the beds thankful that what little water had made it into the mattress would not need drying. Spot just leaned in the doorway and watched a small smile on his face. I tried to ignore him knowing that he was enjoying this probably a little too much.  
  
He lightened up as I continued to clean the room that Glimmer probably hadn't done more than give just a once over in the entire time she had lived there. Eventually he meandered off leaving me to my self appointed task at least until it was time to return to selling. Again my day only got better at least in the selling aspect. It was going really well until we headed back to the Lodging House and up the stairs as we did on so many nights. Most of the boys were not back yet, between Spot and I we had sold most of our papers early and were rewarding ourselves with some quiet time before the heathens returned. As we got to the top of the stairs we heard a giggle coming from the room I shared with Glimmer. It was not the usual laugh or giggle, it had a husky quality to it that made me look worriedly to Spot. I hoped he had not heard it, unfortunately he had.  
  
"Michael." I said quickly putting a staying hand on his chest hoping that using his real name would break through the rage that I could see on his face. "It may not be Glimmer in there. Let me go in."  
  
I crept close to the door listening intently to the voices within. They were low murmurs that I had a hard time making out from behind the door.  
  
"Glimmer." I heard a voice with a husky quality that made me whirl and place both hand on Spot's chest and pushing back as he charged like a raging bull.  
  
"Get outta my way Briar." He hissed, his face almost flushed red in his rage. I had never seen him so incredibly angry, even despite all of my antics.  
  
"Spot stop." I cried as he pushed me roughly out of his way. I hit the wall and slid down as he flung open the door. I struggled to my feet as he stopped in the doorway.  
  
"What the hell is the matter with ya?" Spot snapped at his sister as I reached his side. Looking around him I found Glimmer laying on her bed, Skittery leaning over her. Both were thankfully clothed, I sighed in relief, but that relief was short lived, as that did not mollify Spot in anyway.  
  
"Skittery get outta here before I kill ya." Spot hissed shaking in his attempt to control himself  
  
"Spot they were fully clothed probably not doing more than kissing."  
  
"That's why I'm not going to kill him." Spot growled over his shoulder not looking at me.  
  
"Ya don't understand Spot." Skittery began only to be cut off  
  
" I'll deal with ya later, I'll be on my way to Manhattan for a little talk with Jacky-boy on your banishment from Brooklyn. "  
  
"No." Glimmer cried tears springing to her eyes as she sprung at Spot. " You can't do that."  
  
"Watch me little girl." He swung his attention back to his sister. " Ya asked me if Mama would be disappointed in you? Until this moment I never thought she could be, I was wrong. Not only would she be disappointed she'd be down right ashamed. What's wrong with ya, ya aint' a hussy Glimmer, I ain't gonna let you be. Ya better than this and ya know it. What was going through your head?"  
  
"She ain't a hussy." Skittery cried in rage. I put my hand on his arm and pulled him to the door.  
  
"Now's not the time honey trust me." I told him, he looked at me and I gave him a small smile. "Let them get it out of their systems then bring in the logic, okay."  
  
He nodded as he glanced back at the fuming siblings, he stepped outside the doorway and I shut the door, not willing to leave them alone, but not really wanting to be involved.  
  
"I don't know Spotty-boy, what goes through Cameo's mind when ya start kissin her? Or for any girl that has been stupid enough to fall in love with you big brother?" Glimmer hissed standing and glaring up at her brother. The slap that came made me flinch as her head snapped around. She placed a hand to the cheek that was bright red. "What's the matter Michael, can't take the truth? Can't handle the fact that ya're a hopeless womanizer?"  
  
"I'm a man, I take pride in my conquests." He retorted.  
  
"Oh what a wonderful thing to be proud of. Do ya think Mama would be any prouder of you? Do ya think that she would approve of the fact ya seduce girls and leave them? Do ya think that she would be proud of her baby boy?"  
  
Spot advanced on her and I could only watch helplessly, I couldn't interfere in this no matter how much I wanted to. There were things that needed to be said by both parties. Things neither wanted to hear.  
  
"I don't think she would like the fact that her pride and joy is going to end up alone because he's too afraid to let love into his life." Glimmer continued. "Ya got love right in front of ya Spot and there's only so long that window is going to stay open before it's shut. Only so long before you loose. I'm not going to make that mistake. I love Jamie and he loves me."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Spot demanded " And who the hell is Jamie?"  
  
"I'm talking about you and Cameo. She loves you Michael, and even if you don't see it you love her. Admit it deal with it move on, grow up, get married and have babies like Mama would have wanted, but don't lecture me for not makin the same mistakes that you are. " Glimmer took a deep breath and held out her left hand. " Jamie O' Leary is the name of my future husband, you know him as Skittery."  
  
Spot gasped at the simple silver band that adorned his sister's left ring finger. I felt him tense and then turn away.  
  
"That's not how things are done Bri." He said softly. " He ain't talked to me, I make the decision."  
  
"The decision's be made Michael, whether you give your blessins or not I'm marryin him. He got a job at the Sun today, he's workin the presses for now, but Brian Denton says he'll help him get a better position as soon as possible." Glimmer's face glowed her blue-green eyes sparkling with a happiness that Spot could not dim. She reached her hands out to him trying to meet him half way. "He's been planin on askin me for a while now. He's just been waitin for a new job. He said he couldn't afford to get married until he had a better job. Well, he's got one and we're gettin married hopefully sometime next summer. Please be happy for me Spot."  
  
Spot stared at her for a moment then turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Glimmer watched him go tears in her eyes, tears that still could not dim the happiness I knew she felt.  
  
"Congratulations." I said giving her a hug, she gave me a watery smile and looked to where her brother had just exited. " I'll talk to him alright?"  
  
"Be careful Briar, I know my brother has a hold on ya and I know what he feels even if he doesn't or won't admit it." She told me causing me to pause on my way out the door and look back at her. "I'm hoping that both of your feelings don't tear ya both apart."  
  
"Me too Glimmer, me too." I sighed before continuing to Spot's room. The door was cracked so I pushed it open to find him sitting on the bed staring out his window.  
  
"Spot." I said softly.  
  
"What have ya done to my sister, to everyone?" Spot asked in frustration. "This ain't the way things work, Skit's supposed to come to me, he's supposed to ask my permission, he ain't supposed to ask my sister and never once think about what I think."  
  
"Things are changing." I replied gently sitting next to him. He stood and paced angrily, I sat back and watched him.  
  
"Things ain't supposed to change like that." He told me. " Some things is tradition and it's supposed to stay tradition."  
  
"So you're going to alienate your sister because she is getting married and didn't stop to ask you if it was okay?" I snapped tired of this conversation, tired of comparisons between how life was and how it would be. " She loves you, she loves him, be happy for her, don't turn this into a family feud it's not worth it."  
  
He sat down next to me again and looked at me with sad eyes.  
  
"She wasn't supposed to grow up this fast. She was supposed to be an aunty long before she ever got married." He sighed. "That's the way things work."  
  
"Well she couldn't wait for you to make up your mind about women." I teased. " Things don't always work the way they should."  
  
He laid back on the bed pulling me with him, my head settled in the curve of his shoulder as if it was made to fit there, gently he ran his hand through my hair. It was an absent gesture, but one I enjoyed.  
  
"I don't know what to think of ya Briar." He said after a moment. " I don't know what I feel or what I want with ya."  
  
"Let's just take it a day at a time and see where we go." I suggested. I felt his nod as his chin brushed the top of my head.  
  
"I need to talk to Bri then we need to go to talk to Jamie I guess his name is." Spot said after a moment, I sighed, but allowed him to get up and pull me up. The rest of the night was spent in Manhattan patching up the damage that had been done earlier. I was too tired to return to Brooklyn that night, a regret I will have for the rest of my life. If I had only gone back to Brooklyn they never would have thought it was me. I believe I am jumping ahead of myself again as I have from time to time in my story. Let me explain my reservations, I curled up in my bed alone. Mimic lay sleeping in his own bed for a change, just near the window, and just near Jack's bunk. I fell into an exhausted slumber before Spot left, leaving Glimmer in the care of her fiancé, in a gesture of acceptance and trust. I felt his lips brush mine, but his warmth left to return to Brooklyn.  
  
Halfway through the night Mimic woke, he rolled to get out of bed and come join me, but stopped short as he saw a figure make her way from Jack's bunk. In the light of the full moon that fell into the room with a silvery glow he saw the handful of coins and few bills clutched in her hand, but could not see her face. All he could see was a female figure with her hair cascading down her back dressed in men's clothes that did not fit very well.  
  
He saw her move to another's bunk, taking with her some more money. Glancing quickly to Glimmer he found her sleeping in the bunk below Skittery snoring softly. With one eye open he watched as she made her rounds and then disappeared into my room. I never awoke as the mysterious thief left climbing out the window, as she must have. I slept like the dead remember, I doubt I would have felt it if she had stepped on me in her way out. The thief stole into the night, the trap was set for morning, bait set waiting for the newsies to awaken and look for the thief in their midst. A thief that was not immediately obvious, like the Salem witch trials they would look for an easy answer if not a entirely logical answer and like a witch on trial the accused would be damned by a make believe trial.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rhap: Very swelled head really! It is not a comfortable position, hurts the neck and causes headaches. Thank you for your praise! Yes I agree, Spot is very yummy!  
  
Glimmer: Yup I got you drunk, I am flattered at the fact you changed your pen name to the name I gave you for this story Chelci! There you go more Spot and Glimmer time! So tell me what is your dress going to look like?  
  
Falco: Drunk people can be very amusing! More waffles yay! Enjoy and give me fresh ones!  
  
Raider: Yup, hot Brooklyn guys were carrying you around! Yay! Happy New Years to you! We'll have to get you to hold your liquor better though! How about it Glimmer, Cameo, can we whip her into shape? I thought so!  
  
Galaxy: Nope not ending, not yet still have much more to go. I'm not ready for this to be over and I'm glad the muses aren't either.  
  
Cheryl: (Does my famous new reviewer happy dance) A new reviewer yay for me and for you! Thank you (bows) thanks you for the compliments. Now you know what happens next, you'll have to wait for a little while for my brain to recharge, I put it on the recharger a few minutes ago.  
  
Ali: More mushy romantic stuff! Aren't you proud of me? You reviewed twice, wow you must have really wanted this next chapter! Here you go! Yay, I'm your favorite! (Does newly created favorite author victory dance)  
  
Dreamer: Yay two reviews for me to devour! More please, I'm hungry. Where in Colorado were you? As I am a Colorado native, I bet I know where it is! I want more on your story!  
  
JP: I got your full attention! I loved it. (munches on animal crackers and takes a swig of O.J.) Okay you twisted my arm here's more! NO more sick for you. ( Grabs health fairy by the scruff of the neck and makes her wave her magic wand over you) Okay all better!  
  
Skittles: he he he, I'm playing baseball with my story! What an image! Drinking isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm sure you'll hear that a lot and roll your eyes both at me and whoever else tells you, but really it's not. (does favorite author victory dance.) Yay I'm loved.  
  
Fyre Eye: Here's more, here's more, sorry I didn't give you a shout out last time. I didn't get your review until after I had posted the last story. So here you go. Thank you!  
  
  
  
Thank you and I love you all. Blows smooches and tackles reviewers into hugs. Sorry got a little out of hand. He he he. 


	26. Framed

Kloppman woke me the next morning with a vigorous knocking. I struggled to open my eyes as I fell off my mattress. Slowly I crawled to the door and cracked it open.  
  
"I'm up." I said groggily. " I'm up, I missed you too Kloppman."  
  
He gave me a grin and returned to the task of awaking the rest of the sleeping beauties scattered amongst the bunks. I shut the door and slowly dressed hoping I got all of my buttons buttoned right. I shivered as I did wondering where the cold air was coming from. Glancing around I found my window partially open; curious I neared it wondering how that had happened. I usually kept my window tightly locked. Especially after my ordeal with Ox, I had nightmares of someone sneaking in and attacking me. I shrugged off the prickling at the back of my neck and firmly shut the window twisting the lock back into place. Maybe I had been sleep walking, I did that on occasion when something was on my mind. After all I had been through there was still a lot on my mind. With that logical explanation firmly placed in my mind I opened the door and sat on my bed to brush out and braid my hair.  
  
I knew I had a little time before Mush and Blink to finished getting ready. Whatever male said women take longer to get ready was an idiot. They had to wash and shave before getting dressed for some reason it took them longer than me. Mush took longer than Blink; pretty boy that he was had to make sure everything was in place before leaving. When we teased him he'd tell us he never knew when he might run into the girl of his dreams, which he did pretty well every week.  
  
Of course had I been dressed like all the other women of this time period it would have taken me a little longer to get dressed, I reasoned. I quickly tied off my hair and stood looking around my small room for that one article of clothing that was forever eluding me. It was definitely starting out as a normal day.  
  
"Where in the hell is my hat." I growled as I tossed my pillow and sheets around in an effort to find it. "How is it that I always managed to loose my hat in a room the size of a broom closet?"  
  
I heard Crutchy chuckle as he passed on his way back to his bunk to grab his hat. I turned and flashed him a brief smile before retuning to my hunt.  
  
"Mimic." I called and was rewarded with his small figure darting amongst the boys and into my room.  
  
"Yeah?" he looked up at me with a worried look on his face. I noted it, but at the moment my hat was more important. If I didn't find it soon Mush and Blink would be ready and then I'd get the teasing of a lifetime. I made a mental note to ask him as soon as the missing article of clothing was found.  
  
"Where is my hat?" I asked, "You can always find it, so find it, please."  
  
He glanced around the room it was as if he had this built in radar for my hat. If I couldn't find it he always could. I watched as he moved about the bed poking here and there before he pulled it from beneath the sheets piled at the end of the bed.  
  
"Thank you." I sighed fitting the hat to my head and sitting down again to wait some more. His face had kept its worried look and he sat down next to me. "What is it?"  
  
He gave me this look of complete trust. It was a look that told me he was telling me he would believe me no matter what I said. That he was preparing to take what I said and never look back. That he loved me enough to believe me even if I lied to him. It made me feel slightly guilty despite the fact I had done nothing wrong.  
  
" Did ya wake up at all last night Cameo?" he questioned in voice that went beyond his six years of life.  
  
"No, I slept as I always do like the dead." I replied truthfully. "Why?"  
  
"Last night I woke up and saw a lady sneakin around and I saw her sneak back into your room and disappear. I went into ya room and you were sleeping, but I wasn't sure." He said slowly, looking at my face for my reaction.  
  
"Are you saying a woman came in here and disappeared?" I asked smiling brightly at him despite the fact that the prickling was back. My mind flashed back to the window that had been opened. I shrugged it off, remembering the ghost story Race had told the kids before bed. A move I had berated him for, but he had shrugged as he started a game, he didn't care if I ended up with half of the Lodging House in my room because they were cared or not. " Was she white and filmy, wearing a long dress? "  
  
"I'se serious Cam." He said softly taking my teasing good-naturedly, but still continuing with his seriousness. " This woman looked kinda like you and she stole money."  
  
"Stole money?" my teasing look vanished and I looked at him seriously " Whose money."  
  
"Jack, Snoddy, Bumlets, Snitch, Racetrack and Snipeshooter. I don't know who else that was all I could see." Mimic told me earnestly. "Then she went into ya room, shut the door and when I went to check on ya, I saw ya fast asleep."  
  
I shivered as I thought about the window that had been unlocked and open this morning. Maybe he was right, maybe he had actually seen someone, and if he had there was one person that would be best equipped to handle the situation. Or at least as leader he better be able to handle it.  
  
"Hold on a minute Mimic." I said standing; glancing around the bunkroom I saw that our fearless leader was nowhere to be found. I headed for the forbidden washroom figuring this was big enough of a problem to enter uninvited.  
  
"Jack." I cried throwing the door open and stepping inside ignoring the dashes for modesty and irritated grumbling. Jack turned to look at me his left cheek still covered in shaving cream. "Finish quick, we have a little problem."  
  
"Ya know ya ain't allowed in here Cameo." He said teased as his boys continued their complaining. "If ya want a peek ya don't have to pretend to need to talk with me, any of us would be happy to oblige ya."  
  
"Keep it in your pants Casanova." I said wryly as he wiggled his eyebrows at me knowing it was all in good fun. " I doubt Spot would be too happy with me if I took you up on your offer. Now I'm serious, I need to see you in my room."  
  
"Sure sweetface." He replied. I rolled my eyes, men can't take anything seriously when you need them too and they take things too seriously when you don't want them too. I ignored the hoots and whistles as I turned on my heel and headed back for my room.  
  
"Where'd ya go?" Mimic asked softly as I returned.  
  
"To get Jack, if anyone should know about this it's Jack." I told him reassuringly. "He'll know what to do."  
  
"I don't know if that was a good idea." I thought I heard Mimic murmur, but before I could ask him about it Jack interrupted me.  
  
"So what's so important?" He looked from me to Mimic and back again.  
  
"Some money was stolen last night." I began. "Mimic saw a woman stealing money from the newsies then she disappeared into my room. When I got up this morning my window was unlocked and cracked."  
  
"Stole money huh, from who?" Jack asked in an indulgent tone that told me he didn't quite believe me.  
  
"You for starters." I told him in a tone that told him I didn't appreciate it. He looked at me for a moment as if weighing my answer then calmly walked to his bunk felt in the mattress for something. I watched as he removed a pouch and dumped the contents in his hand. His cheeks burned red with anger as he looked from the pouch to me and back again.  
  
"Alright boys we got a thief in our midst, check ya stashes." Jack called out. The boys immediately jumped at his words looking in their various hiding spots for their money. I heard Racetracks hiss of anger, Bumlets said nothing, but I saw his jaw tighten. Snipeshooter punched the small stand between his bed and Racetracks. I looked at Snitch who just looked shocked, a few others had various reactions that I missed, but I knew that there were quite a few of them that were missing money. "Now ya sayin they snuck out ya window last night?"  
  
"Yes." I replied. "Mimic saw a woman moving around the room last night taking money then she disappeared into my room. My window was unlocked and cracked this morning when I got up."  
  
"Whatta we gonna do Jack?" Bumlets asked. "I don't even have enough for papes today."  
  
"Ya gonna partner up with someone else that does or bum some off of those that got money." Jack replied thinking quickly. I had heard about the strike and about David's brilliant words, but often I wondered when watching Jack what had been Jack's words and what had been David's. While David was educated, Jack was incredibly brilliant. He was a leader just as Spot was; he knew what needed to be done and did it. He thought quickly and on his feet always ready to take on what came next. That was where David had floundered, for all his pretty words he didn't know what needed to be done. Jack came up with the brilliant ideas; David found a way to make it reality. They made a good team I couldn't deny that, but without Jack's charisma the strike would never have happened. Without Jack's quick thinking and brilliant ideas it would have as well. Jack could have muddled through without David's words, though it would have been harder.  
  
"Cameo." Jack's voice broke me away from my random musings and I looked at him curiously.  
  
"Jack." I replied.  
  
"We're takin the mornin off, you, me, and Mimic." He told me. I nodded absently as I watched the dejected newsies. "Mimic describe this woman."  
  
"She had long hair so I couldn't see her face, she was dressed like a man and other than that I don't know." Mimic said hesitantly, he looked to me, his eyes pleading for me to allow him to stop. I gestured for him to continue trying to encourage him, I can't believe now I didn't see what a six year old could. He took a deep breath and continued to describe her as I slipped from the room into my own. I left my door cracked so I could continue to listen as I pushed the bed across the small room. Once the bed was out of the way I opened the little cubby I had created that held my bracelet, the gypsy amulet and my money. I sighed as I counted out the money I had made and counted some from it. There was hardly anything left as I replaced the remaining coins, just enough to get Mimic that hat and gloves I had been planning on. Looks like I would have to skip lunch at Tibbys for a few days. I shrugged as I replaced the floorboard and moved my bed back over it.  
  
"How tall was she." I stopped dead as I stood waiting for an answer that my intuition told me I wouldn't like. The same intuition that was screaming at me to grab the amulet and the bracelet just incase.  
  
"Almost as tall as Cameo." He whispered. " As first I almost thought it was her, her hair looked dark and it was kind of wavy."  
  
"What makes ya think it wasn't Cameo?" I heard a voice I didn't entirely recognize ask. I felt a shiver run down my spine, I had never stolen anything in my life. I listened to the little voice that was making every fiber of me scream to get my amulet and bracelet. I turned and moved everything to grab it before moving everything back and standing.  
  
"Cameo wouldn't do that." I heard Blink protest." She ain't like that, maybe you took it Snitch."  
  
"Funny ain't it that you and Mush ain't missin nothin, neither is the pipsqueak." Snitch shot back.  
  
"Come on Blink we almost knows nothing about her." Bumlets sighed. " She coulda been makin nice with us until she could get away with it easy."  
  
"Why would she steal from us?" Mush broke in " Don't ya think she would have done it before now? Before she was almost killed savin Mimic?"  
  
Slowly I opened the door, effectively silencing the conversation I couldn't have missed. They all looked at me as I came back out some a little more accusing than others.  
  
"What ya got there Cameo?" Jack asked trying not to let me see the suspicion on his face he was failing miserably. Jack had a suspicious nature to him when the moment warranted it and this was one of those times. It probably was not the best time to come out clutching money. I tried to ignore the hostility I felt as I stretched out my hand.  
  
"I saved some of my money by not going to the Vaudeville Theater and not eating at Tibby's every day." I said quietly. " Anyone that can't afford papers today, I'll give you what's here and you can pay me back."  
  
"Is that so ya can sleep better at night?" I heard a voice say. Angrily and stunned at the accusation there I turned in the direction I heard it come from.  
  
"I have no money other than what's here and a few more pennies I need to buy some things for Mimic." I snapped, I threw the money on the floor at the boy's feet and stomped out of the room. Jack caught me just as I started to slam the door, I hit him with it, but neither of us cared.  
  
"Come back inside Cameo, there's only one way this is gonna get settled and that requires ya to follow me nicely." He said between clenched teeth, I didn't have much choice as he dragged me back in. "Okay I'm gonna search her room and if I find the money then she's guilty, if I don't she ain't. We ain't Judge Monahan, we're gonna actually give her a fair shake."  
  
I tried to protest, but Blink silenced me as I watched Jack enter my room a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I hadn't stolen anything, I hadn't. I kept thinking, he wouldn't find anything, but I had a feeling he would. For some reason I just knew it. He moved things around pulled loose bricks from the walls. I placed the necklace around my neck ignoring the hungry eyes that fell on the antique that would probably fetch a fair price. The bracelet I just clenched in my hand afraid for anyone to find it. Blink edged me closer to the door, I could tell they could feel the tension that was making me a guitar string ready to snap. He had almost finished, I was starting to relax when he reached inside the small pitcher on my washstand and pulled out some bills. Dumping it in the middle of my floor coins fell in a heap.  
  
"Okay Cam, ya caught." Jack said in tired voice.  
  
"NO!" Mimic cried. " It was a lady I tell ya, it wasn't Cameo, it wasn't, Cameo was asleep in her nightgown. The woman was wearin clothes like us."  
  
"She probably threw it on over her clothes because she saw ya awake." Snitch said bitterly.  
  
"Listen to me." Mimic yelled as the boys began to murmur amongst themselves.  
  
"Whatta ya got to say Cameo?" Jack asked me.  
  
"I was framed." I whispered still staring at the pile of money in shock.  
  
"Sure ya were." Snitch growled " Some woman came in here in the middle of the night dressed like you to frame ya."  
  
"Funny you should get so upset about it when, you've been flitching money from us since ya came here Snitch." Mush snapped. " What's the matter angry ta be caught at ya own game?"  
  
"I oughta soak ya for that." Snitch hissed.  
  
"Try it." Mush said in a deadly tone I had never heard him use before. I turned blindly walking from the room unnoticed as they tried to keep Mush from ripping the younger boys to shreds. Hurt and anger flowed through me as I reached the top of the stairs. I had gone from a whore to a thief. I pounded down the stairs taking my anger out on the creaking wood not caring that the boys were rushing to the steps after me. I ran out of the Lodging House and into the street ignoring the cries of Jack and Blink. I dodged among the people swift as a deer not even poor Mimic could keep up though he tried. I ran until my breath came in gasps and I had to stop for the pain that was aching in my side. As I stood there trying to get air back into my laboring lungs I felt hand clamp on my arm. I closed my eyes figuring one of the Manhattan Newsies had managed to keep up. I turned ready to fight my way free as a combination of fear and anger ran through me. I whirled to face the person who held me and found a worried pair of blue eyes looking into mine. Eyes of the man I knew could fix this mess. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I launched myself into his arms.  
  
"Spot." I was all I said my voice muffled against his shoulder.  
  
"What's goin on Brair?" he asked pulling back enough to look down at me.  
  
" They think I stole it, I've never stolen anything in my life. I wouldn't do it, but the woman left through my room Mimic saw her, but they think it was me. They think I did it. I didn't, I wouldn't you have to believe me Spot." I babbled too upset to be coherent.  
  
"Wait a minute, what did you steal?" Spot asked "Slow down take a deep breath and then speak."  
  
"Nothing." I responded as I exhaled loudly. " They think I stole their money."  
  
"Did ya?" He asked looking at me critically, I knew had I been lying he would have caught it.  
  
"No." I replied. He nodded and wrapped an arm around me. I glanced at his companion realizing it was a person I knew I greeted him. "Hello Shadow."  
  
I smiled at the newsie I hadn't seen since the night I had been taken by Ox. I suppose he had been off on official Brooklyn business.  
  
"Hello Cameo." He responded giving me a smile of his own.  
  
"Shadow go back to Jacky's boys and tell them I have Cameo." Spot ordered, he quieted my protests by saying. "She's stayin in Brooklyn until they find the person behind it. The real person."  
  
"What if they don't." I asked a little fear in my voice.  
  
"Then you'll have to stay with me." He replied " If they found the money they shouldn't care where you go as long as you stay out of Manhattan." I close my eyes for the second time I had been exiled to Brooklyn, only this time there might be no going back.  
  
"We are going to find who did this." I vowed, Spot looked at me and nodded. "And then I'm going to beat them within an inch of their life."  
  
"That's my girl." Spot said with a bit of pride as I wiped my tears and straightened my shoulders. I knew the truth and I was going to rub their faces in it when I found a way to prove it. I was so preoccupied searching my brain for someone that would actually go to the trouble of framing me that I didn't even realize that Spot had just called me his girl.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chelci: Yup you're getting married, Spot's little sister is all grown up how will he ever deal with it? You already know who's thieving and besides I can't answer that question here, it will ruin it for everyone. You know I'm not sure I'm actually going to have an opening to write Skittery and Glimmer's wedding. Though maybe I'll write Glimmer's full story in another story and it will be there. Hmmmmmmm Muses are chittering excitedly over that. HMMM will have to contemplate that idea.  
  
Rhap: Okay, my leg is now officially asleep! Are you saying Spot need anger management or just a class on how to get his head out of his ass? I think that neither would happen, he wouldn't be Spot without his temper and well all men have their head up their asses, it's a genetic problem at birth. (sorry to any men, but you probably think the same about us women. The problem is we really don't. He he he. Okay sorry really) As for the thief sorry next chapter... Keeps you reading doesn't it?  
  
Skittles: Okay you know (holds fingers to lips) SHHHHHH! Neither you or Chelci know the end though that's between me and the muses. They like it that way, they have a tendency to change it otherwise. Hope you love this one too!  
  
Hotshot: Yes a thief dum da dum dum. Uh oh poor Cam, I think she's ready to kill me for the hell I keep making her life. She just wants a nice normal life and then I come along create her and put her through hell. He he he ahhhh the writers prerogative. Don't you love it? Pranks do tell more Cam wants to know! Typical male see Rhap's SO for why they act the way they do. Glad you were so amused by Spot's wake up call, it defiantly amused me as I wrote it. So did the drunken moment, drunken idiots can be the best amusement.  
  
Dreamer: Pueblo, well all I can say is I've been through there. We go to Pueblo Reservoir every summer to boat and we've driven through on our way to Durango. Oh and to the dirt bike track out there, that's about as far into it as I've been. He can stroke my hair any day too. I loved that moment gave me warm fuzzies. I understand the whole not knowing were to go from here feeling let me know if I can help, I would have no problem brainstorming with you if you'd like. Hope you like the chapter.  
  
Lomelinde: (does infamous new reviewer dance ask any other reviewers it's well known) Yay for me a new reviewer that likes my story. Thank you I hope you enjoy this installment too! Wow I just felt like an infomercial.  
  
  
  
Erinkathleen: Honey if you didn't already love Spot I don't know how this story could make you love him. He's a great character though completely under played in the movie. He can be so complex and fun to work with. I love him too. Bad boys they always have us pegged, there's nothing like them. Unless it's the reformed bad boy and we all want to be the one reforming. Of course you got a dance, its tradition. I looked back on the chapter and I agree it is a little bit of Fiddler on the Roof though I never even thought about it. Though asking the fathers or nearest relative's permission was a vital thing if you didn't want to piss off your in-laws right away. I was trying to keep with that idea. Though again it's very Fiddler on the Roof, not too surprising since it is one of my favorite musicals. Along with My Fair Lady, Gigi and West Side Story. I just can't choose between them. Speaking of when Duvall ( Pulitzer) does his little dance while they're plotting to screw the newsboys I so thought of Fiddler. I sing I wish I was a rich man every time I see him do that.  
  
Rumor: You definitely made up for the missed chapters. Wow what a review. I loved every minute of it! I'm glad you caught the story I told you about. I figured you would though. Yes we are practically neighbors, though the closest I've been to Kansas is when we drove through it to get to Lake of the Ozarks about 6 years ago. More you saw well here you go! As for your whip, I'm enjoying the fact you can't swing it over my head right now, my favorite slave driver. He he he. Funny that you actually do own one. As for the innuendo filled humor, honey look at me I spend my spare time at Ren Faire where the man who sells pickles yells at the passers by that his pickle is bigger than their pickle and that's the tame part of faire. I know all about having your head in the gutter, but not actually one to act on it, usually. Hope you enjoyed. Glad Chapter 22 didn't suck I was beginning to worry.  
  
Ali: Sadistic? Oh hell ya. I write the romance for you dear. Well and Spot and Cam because I think they would jump me other wise and I'd hate to try to fend off both of them. Hell one at a time would be hard enough. Of course they blame her why else would the thief leave through her room? Bet you'll never guess who's framed her. I'll give you a hint; it's an enemy she hasn't had to deal with in a long time. Sorry had to do it, it's the groundwork for what's going to happen next. Hope you liked it despite the fact that you were right.  
  
Fearless: Okay I'll try to get on soon, sorry I haven't I hope to talk to you soon, You need a Yahoo IM makes thing so much easier, I can't download two IM's onto my computer at work causes too many problems and upsets my boss. Anyway hope you liked it.  
  
Galaxy: Yeah well they did find the proof in her room, but they'll get to the bottom of it. You know they have too and Cam will rub their faces in their mistake. Yay for Cam! Hope you enjoyed!  
  
JP: I saved the best for last now give me my animal crackers and O.J.! Yummmy! Damn it you found out my kryptonite. Okay here's the next chapter. I hope to talk to you soon, I miss you! Shh no brainless wonder cracks you'll let the other reviewers in on what you can guess so easily since we share a brain. Updated now please can I have my treat? Love you hon!  
  
  
  
Okay a page of S.O's and I hope I got everyone. If I didn't I send smooches and huggles your way. Thank you! 


	27. Nothing left here

I threw myself into selling with Spot trying to wipe all that had been going on away by throwing myself into my work. Spot wisely kept silent and allowed me to wear myself out. Eventually we made our way back and I was greeted at the door of the bunkroom by a small body hurling itself into my legs. Luckily Spot was directly behind me and caught me before I fell to the floor, though my arm banged painfully into the doorframe.  
  
"Cameo, I'm sorry I didn't want to tell them, really I didn't, why did you make me tell them." The little body cried his face buried in my stomach, I could feel the tears that were starting to soak my shirt. Through all he had been through Mimic had not cried, the only time I had seen tears streak his little face had been that first night we had spent together. Though the first time he saw me after I had been brought back from Ox's clutches I understand he had cried himself to sleep next to me on the bed and had refused to leave his spot until I woke up.  
  
"Mimic, it's alright, I have a feeling that they would have found out anyway." I told him gently brushing his strawberry curls away from his face and tilting it up to look at me. " You need a hair cut small fry."  
  
"What do ya mean they would have found out anyway?" I heard Blinks voice and glanced up in shock.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked as Mush and Crutchy moved next to him.  
  
"Did ya think we would stay in Manhattan after they accused you? Anyone that knew ya would know ya ain't a thief." Mush said offering me a smile. "Besides they're already whisperin about us bein in on it."  
  
"They've know you for how long?" I cried in frustration.  
  
"They've all gotta look after themselves. We're brothers, but it only goes so deep, when money and survival's involved we're dead in the water." Crutchy said sagely. I rolled my eyes and started pacing. The Brooklyn boys eyed me with worry.  
  
"What kinda trouble we gonna get in now?" I heard one mutter, I cuffed him along side the head as I passed him. Spot gave him a look as he started to jump up.  
  
"I hope she's a good lay Spot cause so far she's brought ya more trouble than any normal dame is worth." Another too far out of my reach sneered irritated at my abuse of his friend.  
  
"What did ya say Oak?" Spot hissed.  
  
"Nothin." He murmured, "It's just, I don't know about the other boys, but I'm sick of getting into trouble cause of her. She's bad luck, trouble follows her where ever she goes."  
  
"This has nothing to do with Brooklyn." I told them before Spot could jump at him. "I'm not asking for Brooklyn's help on this one, I will find the truth those that wish to help, I won't argue with them, but none of you are being drafted for this."  
  
Spot glowered at the boy who cowered beneath his glare, I could see Spot wavering between teaching him a lesson and letting him go. There was one thing Spot knew though despite how infamous his temper could be and it was how to pick his battles. This was not the time for a brawl and his boys would think him granting the boy his mercy if he put it the right way. He'd still have to scare the piss out of the boy though and with Spot's icy glare intimidating men would never be a problem.  
  
"Ya lucky I gotta bigger fish to fry." Spot snapped turning his attention to Crutchy. "Whatta ya doin here, I thought I made it clear ya were banned from Brooklyn."  
  
"Where else was I gonna go Spot?" Crutchy asked, "An if Briar's gotta be exiled here again I ain't gonna leave her in ya incapable hands."  
  
"Whatta mean incapable?" Spot fumed, I put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"You lay a finger on him and I'll never forgive you Spot." I hissed in his ear.  
  
"I mean the last time ya ended up with her she came back nearly dead and she's just gotten beyond bein broken." Crutchy replied coolly.  
  
"That wasn't Spot's fault, that was my fault." I told him "Back off Crutchy, you're baiting him and I'm not going to be able to stop him if he chooses to attack."  
  
I knew that if I could get Crutchy to back down I wouldn't have to try to hold Spot back, and no one would loose face. I gave Crutchy a pleading look and he shut his mouth. From behind Spot I mouthed a thank you to him.  
  
"If ya weren't so close to Cameo, I'd soak ya right now, but seein as I'm in a merciful mood today...."he paused to glare at the boy who had earlier inspired his wrath. "I'll let it go, I'll let ya stay here, but stay out of my way."  
  
Crutchy nodded and I hid a smile of satisfaction, if any of the boys saw that smile it would undermine Spot's authority.  
  
"I'll be on the roof." I sighed leaving Spot to his moment. Blink and the rest followed me up.  
  
"What are we gonna do Cameo?" Mush asked me his soft brown eyes looking to me for an answer.  
  
"Wait, what else can we do Mush? I was set up there is no doubt in my mind, but I can't think of anyone left that would go to all this trouble. Eventually the truth will come out, there are only so many girls that would do this. Though if we take into account that it could have been a girl paid by another person to do this......"  
  
"Na," Crutchy broke in, " Can't be it has to be one of the people you've met and ain't none of them have the money to waste on bribin someone to set ya up."  
  
"So that leaves one of the girls I know." I sighed.  
  
"I ain't sayin it ain't the girl of someone that wanted to get ya." Crutchy said suddenly. "They just don't have the money to pay someone."  
  
I nodded and stared off into space, so that left pretty well anyone. We said no more all of us thinking, all of us scrambling to think of what in the hell was going on. Why would someone want to frame me? Most of my enemies were dead, killed in the whole Ox affair. Any that had touched me had one by one had turned up dead, though by whose hand I did not know, I knew that Spot had taken out Ox, but I knew that the others he would have had help. I shuddered to think that they could and would kill so swiftly. They seemed so normal most of the time and most of the time you would think they couldn't hurt a fly, but then you saw that look on their faces. Even Mush, sweet, even tempered Mush I had seen pulled off a guy before he could actually kill him.  
  
They all had their angles. Mush hid behind his sweetness even giving off an air of being slow sometimes, but it was an act. He was sweet, he was kind, but when it came to fight those muscles were not for show. He was just as aggressive as the others, he just lulled them into complacency by his usual demeanor. Blink was openly hostile when he needed to be, joking and teasing those that he knew well, but he had a temper that we all knew that when that glower came to his face we all better stay out of his way. Even Crutchy harmless sweet Crutchy could stand on his leg if he needed, his crutch made those that might attack him believe he was unable to protect himself, but he could stand and swing that crutch with a deadly accuracy that was frightening. I had heard that before the strike he had been to trusting and had relied on his seeming helplessness to protect him from those that would hurt him. Unfortunately the Delancy brothers had not been apposed to attacking a cripple.  
  
I shivered involuntarily and warm arms wrapped around me pulling me against a strong chest.  
  
"Hi." I said simply and softly knowing immediately who it was.  
  
"Hiya." He said in return "Ya doin okay."  
  
"I'm fine, just angry." I replied, Mush, Blink, and Crutchy were looking at Spot and I with looks I had seen Spot give Skittery. I tried not to laugh as Spot shifted uncomfortably and tightened his hold too stubborn to drop his arms. He recognized that look as well and I knew he was not relishing the idea of being in the hot seat himself.  
  
"Well we need to be returnin to the poker game." Blink said after shooting Spot a warning look.  
  
"Yeah, I hear a winnin hand callin my name." Mush added as the three boys stood only Mimic was left. I watched as they started down the ladder, smiling at Crutchy who shot one last glower in our direction before his head disappeared. We watched as a few seconds later as Mush poked his head back up and gestured to Mimic who gave him a look that said he had no idea what Mush wanted. I almost laughed as Mush hopped onto the roof and forcibly picked up Mimic and started back downstairs the kid's frustrated cries following him all the way inside.  
  
We sat there for a few moments staring at the stars. At least that is what I was doing as I could not see Spot's face.  
  
"So Briar, how about ya tell me about yaself." He whispered almost as if he were afraid to ask. " I know ya as a person, I've seen ya tested, I know what kinda person ya is, but I don't know the rest about ya."  
  
"What do you want to know." I asked guardedly my body stiffening as his word sunk in, I didn't want to lie to him. I knew I might have to as I clutched the necklace that had brought me here.  
  
"Where ya born, where ya grew up, what ya parents are like." He said softly. "Hell I don't even know when ya birthday is or ya middle name."  
  
"April 25 and Rose." I replied smiling at him. " I was born in Denver, Colorado. My mother was my world, the greatest, finest person I ever knew, she died a few years ago, horrible accident."  
  
"My mama was the same, a wonderful woman, I wish Gabriel could remember her." He said sadly. " I loved her so much, my pa, well we never knew him. He was a sailor, married mama and shipped out the next day leaving her pregnant. He came back one time, I was too young to remember it really. He got drunk roughed mamma up and left her pregnant again. Never saw the bastard again, thank God."  
  
"My mother and my father were very much in love, I can remember them kissing in the kitchen on Sunday mornings as I read the paper, I remember them so happy together." I sighed. "After she died, Dad and I didn't get along. He never really understood me like she did. There was this... I don't know bond between us that he could never be a part of. In so many ways he didn't know me, for months I don't think we even talked. We ignored each other, then eventually we started to fight and never stopped until I left home."  
  
"There's too many of us that grows up in an unwelcome home." Spot responded. I nodded and continued to look at the sky. "Too many of us that ain't never gonna amount to nothin."  
  
"You won't end up like that." I told him. " You can't end up like that, I can't see you ending up as a nothing. The great thing about America is you can work your way to being successful. You can and will do great things."  
  
"Ya sound like my mama." He said and I could feel him turn his head to look away. "It don't always work like that."  
  
"Then you have to make it work like that." I replied vehemently. "You can do it if you believe you can do it. Look at the strike all of you did it because you thought you could."  
  
"So tell me Brair Fitzgerald what do ya plan on doin in ya life?" Spot asked me changing the subject.  
  
"I don' t know.' I sighed sheepishly, " I never planned on being here."  
  
"So if ya had such a normal upbringin at first why ya so different?"  
  
"Because I'm from the future." I said in a teasing tone, hoping my tone would not break, that he wouldn't look into my eyes and see the truth. " I grew up in an age where women are allowed much more freedom."  
  
I heard him laugh and relaxed against him a little allowing myself to chuckle too.  
  
"I don't know Spot I just am." I finished thankful he had taken it for the joke I had said it as, that it really never was. While he hadn't caught on that moment as I said previously, the truth has a way of worming it's way out. He disappeared downstairs to leaving me on the roof to my musings telling me on his way down to meet him in his room. As I wondered down the fire escape I pondered what I would do, what I could do. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, I couldn't be a newsie forever, I would have to find another job eventually. My hand grasped my necklace, I could go home, it was an option, but I didn't think I could. My mind turned to Spot and I stopped outside his room, peeking in before I entered. I smiled thinking that if things kept going as well as they had I may have to throw the necklace from the Brooklyn Bridge and never look back. He was not in his room, I shook my head and turned for mine, Glimmer was in Manhattan tonight she would be returning home in a few days. I smiled again at finding him in my room, but the smile died as I saw his posture. He was leaning against the wall near the window his head was in his hands, his elbows propped up on his knees, next to him set on the blankets was a little book with a floral print cover, I gasped as I realized it was my little creative journal. The book I had written everything I couldn't tell him in. I had left it under my pillow, now it lay on the bed opened and spread flat halfway through. He had been reading it; I cursed myself as I remembered my earlier words, now he knew. He knew I had not been joking that it was the truth. Slowly I opened the window and entered, what else could I do? I had to face him, I had to make him believe, I felt the necklaces pendant heat as I hadn't felt it do in a while.  
  
"Ya believe it don't you?" he asked quietly not even looking up. "Ya really believe ya from the future."  
  
I opened my mouth to tell him the truth, but as his head came up and those beautiful eyes looked at me pleading with me to tell him I didn't I caved.  
  
"It was the idea's for a story Spot." I lied, I hated the words that came to my lips, but looking into his eyes I had also found that though he cared he would think I was absolutely looney.  
  
"Don't lie to me Briar." He cried suddenly springing up and slamming his fist into the wall in a rage. " Don't you dare lie to me, I can see it in ya eyes, you do. Ya believe it, ya absolutely crazy ain't ya. You lied when ya told us ya hadn't escaped from the crazy house."  
  
"Even if I was crazy, it doesn't matter, remember?" I cried. " I'm not violent, therefore what does it matter if I have strange ideas."  
  
"Because this ends everythin Briar, don't ya understand, I can't be involved with a crazy person." Spot snapped " I can't risk lovin ya. I ain't gonna get married and have crazy kids."  
  
Tears filled my eyes as his words sank in. He would give all we had worked for away because he had found the truth.  
  
"I think you should leave." I said quietly, my tone deadly. "Leave now."  
  
He slammed out of the room; I could see the pain and anger fighting in his eyes. For a moment he had reached for me and I turned from him. The pain that was ripping through me was beyond what I had felt at my mother's death; beyond what I had felt the first time he had left. Tears poured down my cheeks I couldn't even sob all I could do was sit on my bed and stare at the wall while tears flowed in waterfalls down my face. The shirt I wore I found was his and I ripped it from my body and pulled another fr  
  
Finally I felt cold, my entire emotions dead as I looked down. The shirt I wore I found was his and I ripped it from my body and pulled another from my shelf. I stood and started into the bunkroom heading for the washroom, buttoning my shirt crooked as I went, my hair in snarls.  
  
"Looks like Spot had his fill before she pissed him off." I heard a snide voice crack. I ignored it, Spot had disappeared, Mush, Blink, and Crutchy were nowhere to be seen. One gangly boy approached me as I splashed my face with cold water.  
  
"So now Spots done with ya ready for a new sugar daddy?" he asked. I tried to pretend he was not there, I could feel my mind teetering on the verge of loosing it. "Come on baby, let me show ya what a real man is, I can teach ya to be a real woman."  
  
As he grabbed my arm and whirled me around shoving his face into mine with a leering expression, I felt it snap. I heard Ox's harsh voice as he told me what he was going to do before he did it. I heard the laughter, the leering faces, I felt the boy in real life back me into the wall, his mouth coming down hard on mine. Brooklyn had been left alone with me, the boys who did not like me, who wanted nothing more that to teach me my place. Yet it was not the Brooklyn Lodging House I saw, it was the damp, cold, squalid little room that had been my prison and my hell for only a matter of days. I fought back as I hadn't' had the will to do before. My knee connected with his groin and I was on top of him wailing punches into his face before he could react. He tried to fend me off, but I kept coming leaving the weaker boy unable to do anything. I heard the cries, but I did not heed them, I kept attacking my attacker tears rolling down my cheeks as I did. I felt them try to pull me away, but I bit and kick and tore at flesh just long enough to land another few punches on the unconscious boy beneath me.  
  
"Briar." I heard a soft boyish voice say. I looked up through my rage and saw Mimic, he placed a calming hand on my shoulder. "Stop."  
  
I dropped my hands tears flowing down my face sobs trying to tear free, but making only little animal like whimpers in the back of my throat. He looked at me tearfully, then I saw his eyes widen and felt an incredible splitting pain in the back of my head.  
  
"NO." I heard Mimic cry.  
  
"We had to Mimic, she almost killed him." I heard another fading voice say. " She may have killed him."  
  
I didn't mean to, I tried to cry as I lay there the lights going dim. Spot looked down at me and I saw the fear in his face, I knew I had made a fatal error. I had been not been violent in my craziness until now. I closed my eyes and prayed that the blow to the back of my head would kill me. I prayed I would never open my eyes again as the pain in my heart was more than I could bear. I welcomed the darkness that enveloped me. It was not as I wanted it though. I woke instead to the darkness of early dawn in my room. My head pounding worse than any migraine I had ever had.  
  
"We can't keep her here, I don't know if she will attack again. Tomorrow morning we're going to have to take her to the Insane Asylum." Jack's voice floated through the door.  
  
"She's not dangerous." Mush's voice was insistent. " He tried to kiss her, hell he might have raped her had she not lost it on him. After all she's been through of course she's gonna to loose it."  
  
"We can't take that chance." I heard a new voice say, one I had not heard in a while. It was a feminine voice, soft and sweet. I knew at that moment who had planned the missing money, the satisfaction at getting rid of me was too easy to recognize. One word filled my mind and it all came together.  
  
Sarah, it had been her, she had framed me. Mimic's words whispered to me as I remembered one night only days ago he had made a confession, that the night he had been taken he thought he had seen Sarah, that Specs had gone after her to take her back home fearful of the fact she had been left alone in that part of town. I had brushed it off never thinking that she could have really been there, that she had been the bait for them to get to Mimic.  
  
I knew then that she had planned it all; at every turn she was looking for another way to be rid of me. I had never pegged her for the intelligence to pull it off. I knew it would do no good to tell them. That they would never believe me, they would have me locked away.  
  
My mind flew to my history class years before and filled my mind with the things they did. The attempts at sterilization, the lobotomies, the horrible experiments. I would die before I went there, for going there would be a death sentence more horrible than any I could imagine. I closed my eyes hoping for the pain to subside, my hand closing over my amulet. I felt the relief flow through me, I had a way out. I crawled over to my little shelf and pulled my chemise from the stack of clothes. It had turned from cream to gray in the months since I had come here. I left my camisole on and my pantaloons and pulled over my head. Then I sat and waited, waiting for my opening to leave as my window was guarded and the door locked. The amulet burned hotly, I had some things to say before I left and one woman to deal with. Then and only then would I be free to go, as I needed to. I lay back and rested my head letting my eyes close. I would bide my time, for there was nothing left for me here.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rumor: Well I hoped it was an enjoyable ride, it has me exhausted. Ready to crawl to bed and lay down. AHHHH! Well the shit has truly hit the fan now.  
  
Rhap: Hmmmm circus clown and mime huh? Hmmmmm.  
  
Angel: Have you reviewed before? I've forgotten and I'm too lazy to go look. (if not does the new reviewer dance.) Thank you I've tried not to make Spot the ususal sap, he's not, he's one tuff hummer! Smiles sweetly at the muses and blows them kisses.  
  
Chelci: The muses are still in a meeting, trying to figure out where they want to go. All I know is this story has to be finished because it will have to be a sequel to Hourglass. Hmmm maybe some sweet tarts will move them along a little I'll try it! Glad you liked the chapter. I love Mimic too. I want one all to myself!  
  
Fearless: Damn another person who thinks about my story in class, and gets weird looks. He he he. I guess we need to start a Cameo club for those that are odd. I guess I'll have to be president since sometimes I can be odder than Cam. Hope to talk to you soon!  
  
Raider: Not Lucky...Oh no, but it will all come together hold on. Okay. More soon!  
  
Hotshot: Jack and Snitch want me to tell you they are placing a complaint about your attack of them. I'm laughing and telling them to buck up and deal with it! Good guess dahling!  
  
Fyre Eye: NO don't soak me here you go! Here you go!  
  
Galaxy: Whoah it's okay there, you're going to mad at me for this chapter aren't you?  
  
JP: Boards to come later! Hey I bought some sweet tart harts last night yummy. This chapter was brought to you by o.j. animal crackers and sweet tart harts. Here ya go! It says Hug Me! He he he. I hope to chat soon!  
  
Falco: Did you review last time? I am soooooo sorry.! Cameo is threatening to beat me up. AHHH really I'm sorry. Yeah Jack's becoming more of a Jackass too! He's not too happy with me right now.  
  
Shortie: Hmmm Cameo a Mary Sue. Hmm never thought about it much. Acutally I've gotten a lot of people that have told me she's not. Hmmmmm thinking I guess in a way she is. A flawed and humorous Mary Sue. DAMN I was going for the non Mary Sue approach. Oh well, it's too late to change it now. Hope you enjoy it anyway. I want a Mimic too! I love him! Here's your other chapter. Enjoy thanks for the honesty!  
  
Skittles: hi honey, hey where's the review on my other story? I though you were going to read it! Yes more of my Spot hope you like it!  
  
Dreamer: E-mail me and let me know what I can do to help! I'd love to!  
  
Ali: Honey remember I love you! Really I do! Don't get all upset please, it will get better, it has to get better! I promise, just hold onto the bar of the roller coaster seat and hang on tight. 


	28. Going Home

I was horribly nauseated all morning probably due to the concussion I most assuredly had. I waited quietly tensely like a cornered panther ready to spring the minute someone opened that door. Seconds ticked by like years eventually the door opened, but as I sprung a pair of arms grabbed me and hauled me back in slamming the door shut behind us. I fought them for a moment then turned to see who had pulled me back. I hoped it was Spot, instead I found Mush, his eyes darkened with worry and fear.  
  
"Cam, we gotta get ya outta here." He whispered urgently  
  
"What the hell do you think I was doing Mush?" I snapped sitting and putting my head in my hands, the sudden movements I had made had only worsened the pounding in my skull.  
  
"I couldn't let ya get out while they were watchin me." Mush hissed urgently. "The Brooklyn Boys are in uproar, ya caused quite a stir last night and Spot's been missin, didn't come back till early this morning. He shut the door to his room and hasn't even been willin to listen to what's been goin on. Jack's taken over for right now, but Sarah's got him convinced ya lost it completely and need to be locked up."  
  
"I know Mush." I sighed trying to will my headache away, I vaguely remembered someone telling me once that you can trick your body into feeling better by willing it better. I was pretty sure in never worked when you needed to be on full alert and ready to run, it sure wasn't working now. I leaned back against the wall before telling him the vital piece of information I learned earlier. A piece that no matter what happened to me might make all the difference in his mind. "Sarah's behind it all Mush, she was the bait for Ox to get Mimic so she could get rid of me. She's framed me for stealing the money, all of this has been a game to try to get me out of the picture, so she can once again be the belle of the ball."  
  
Mush nodded mulling that thought over, I let him, as I looked out the window thinking about all that had gotten me to this point. Funny how you never stop to think about your life until you think that it could very well be over. At least if you have the time to mull life over, I hadn't when Ox had taken me. I took full advantage of the moment until Mush chose to speak again.  
  
"Mimic overheard ya argument with Spot last night, Crutchy told us that ya told him the same story about bein from the future. He said ya had a bracelet with ya birth date on it that matched what ya said." Mush broke into my musings, I whipped my head around, a move that was not too smart and I clutched my head as I waited for the world to stop spinning. Silently I reached under the mattress from my perch on it and pulled my bracelet from its hiding spot and handed it over.  
  
"It's the truth whether you or anyone else believe me." I told him vehemently.  
  
"I'll believe what ever ya say Cam, ya ain't lied to me before." Mush replied squeezing my hand gently. Tears gathered in my eyes as Mush squeezed my hand gently, then pulled me into his arms as the sobs started. His arms that could so easily crush me held me as gently as if I were a priceless piece of china. He rested his head on my bent one rocking me like a child. I knew in that instant that he would be a wonderful father.  
  
"Is there anyway you can prove it Cameo?" he asked suddenly hope in his eyes. " Could you tell us what's gonna happen in the news tomorrow."  
  
I shook my head and the light died, how could I prove it without waiting years. I couldn't give them solid proof right now. I closed his hand over my bracelet.  
  
"Keep it just incase, well you know." I said softly, hiccupping a little as the sobs ebbed.  
  
"We're gonna get ya outta here okay." He whispered to me comfortingly. " We ain't gonna let them take ya to the crazy house I promise. We're ya friends and ya ain't given us nothin less that your absolute loyalty, we ain't gonna give ya anything less. I've gotta go, just lay here and stare at the wall, no matter what we do don't do anything, but that got it."  
  
I nodded and my mind closed on one thing before he left. I grabbed his arm and he turned to look down at me.  
  
"Mush Spot was there last night when they hit me on the head." I said suddenly. He looked at me confused. " He couldn't have come in this morning he was looking down at me before I passed out."  
  
"You must have been seein things the only people in the room was Mimic, Blink, me and a few of Spot's boys." Mush told me " We've been tryin to tell him all mornin what's goin on. I think maybe he could stop it, but we ain't countin on it."  
  
I nodded knowing the feeling of being unable to count on Spot when things really got bad. I had given him my trust too many times to count and he had let me down every time.  
  
"Lay down remember, I'll come in later and get ya." Mush told me I did as he told, staring blankly at the wall.  
  
"She's just starin away." I heard Mush say sadly to the people beyond the door.  
  
"She must have mentally retreated into herself." I heard Sarah say, "Common after a psychotic has an episode." I snorted trying not to laugh at the psychobabble bullshit she was feeding them. The funniest part was she had no clue as to what the hell she was talking about. It sounded good though to the uneducated mind of the newsies. Common sense could have picked it apart, but they were too frightened to care. If Spot could only hear her he would tell her to shove it up her ass.  
  
I heard his voice shouting for some breakfast, I heard someone scramble down the stairs. My heart rose as hope filled it, quickly I batted down the first truly insane thought I had had. He wouldn't save me, he hadn't before and I sure as hell couldn't count on him to do it now. I would save or damn myself. I looked around and found I was sitting up, I had come up the moment I had heard his voice.  
  
I closed my eyes for a moment then slowly lay back down and stared at the wall like Mush told me to do. Every now and then someone would check on me and find me in the same position. I figured Mush was going to play off of Sarah's babble and use it to get me free. I even found myself having a little fun with it on occasion when the door opened I would drool. I tried not to laugh as they uttered comments of disgust. My life had come crashing down around me and I was laughing at the fact I was drooling. Mentally I shook my head, it beat pondering what had happened and what was going to happen. In a way it kept me sane, it kept me from loosing myself in pain and anger. It kept me aware and ready to fight or flee. It kept me from thinking about what I was going to do and all that I was going to leave.  
  
Most of me wanted to leave, but there was that one part that had been so happy here that I didn't want to go. A very small part of me, later I would learn that the necklace had been tied to my emotions. That only when I consciously and subconsciously wanted to go home would I be able to. The gypsies were counting on me never wanting to. They had not expected my life to be as complicated as it had become. They figured that I would eventually adjust and life would go on. Few of us that are marked to go to the past or to the future have the soap opera life that I had lived through. Few go through the hell I had lived through.  
  
I smiled at that point for I had been thinking about the idea that my life had become a soap opera. Well I hadn't had amnesia yet, that was all that was missing, and Spots evil twin brother. I chuckled softly, oh wait that had been last night as I was passing out. He had made his way down out the window only to return when all was asleep and sneak downstairs. I giggled to myself and managed a drool as the door opened again.  
  
"She's laughin to herself." I heard the person who had looked in on me say.  
  
"She must be reliving her moment of insane rage, shut the door quickly." Sarah cried. I laughed outright unable to help myself. Insane rage, yes I had been insanely angry last night as that asshole had tried to grope me, but who wouldn't after having been tortured by men who had done the same thing. I hoped the boy I had attacked would live; I closed my eyes unable to help the sorrow that accompanied that thought. I had never wanted anyone to die, I had lost it like that only once before. As I said in the beginning of my story I had a bad temper and had done things I did not like when I lost my temper. This was one more to add to the list of things that seemed so paltry when compared to the fact I had almost taken a man's life.  
  
  
  
The necklace around my neck was still warm not uncomfortably so, but noticeably so. I could feel it hum in my ears and knew that it was working. As lightning flashed and the rain started I smiled. Rain in the middle of November was rather uncommon I remember thinking. We had had a few dustings of snow, for it had been too cold for rain. I smelled the fresh clean scent of it and longed for the freedom to run out into it and dance.  
  
Darkness started to fall and the rain only got heavier, I knew that my moment was coming soon. I heard the footsteps and heard the door open, Mush poked his head around the corner then shook his head coming to a stop at the foot of my bed. I felt him haul me up keeping a sad look on his face as he did. I saw Sarah's triumphant face as Mush pushed me through the people; I turned my head and gave her a look that burned. A look that made her eyes widen as she realized I knew and that I was promising retribution. I heard Spot's door open, I heard his footsteps as he made his way to where the crowd of people were watching Mush push me to the stairs. Blink and Crutchy stood at either side of the stair well; I knew that they were going to try to hold off the boys long enough for me to get a head start. I looked at Blink who nodded slowly and knew that the moment I had a chance I was to run.  
  
"What's goin on?" Spot asked looking from me to the boys.  
  
"We're takin her to the crazy house Spot she almost killed one of ya boys last night." Jack said stepping up. Mimic pulled on Spot's hand urgently as he pointed to me. My eyes looked down at the small boy and I gave him a sweet smile before letting my face go slack and my body. Mush loosened his grip knowing I was going to take this chance to break free.  
  
"Whatta ya mean ya takin her?" Spot snapped " I didn't say nothin about lettin her leave to go anywhere."'  
  
As Jack began to explain and Sarah stepped to his side giving Spot all sorts of babble that sounded good I ripped my arms free of Mush's grasp. He made an effort to grab me that intentionally missed and I flew down the stairs my hands tightly clenched in my chemise holding it to my knees.  
  
"Where in the hell..." Spot cried. " She's gonna get herself killed."  
  
I heard Spot hot on my heels pushing Sarah and her stupid banter away, ignoring the protests from Jack. I flung the door open and hesitated for only a moment before running into freezing rain.  
  
The night was black, the rain chilling me swiftly, my feet getting bruised and cut on the cobble stoned streets. The gas streetlamps wavered in the night dancing from behind their glass covering. The street was littered with broken bottles, paper, and various bits of refuse. It stretched ahead of me seeming to extend on forever. I heard the boys pounding after me making me think of wolves all working together for a common goal, to bring the prey down.  
  
My chemise became soaked through almost immediately, sticking to me wetly as I ran. My long hair curling and tangling to eventually hang in limp dripping tendrils, that clung to me like wet seaweed that I had to scrape off my face. I gasped as I gained a new cut on my foot but forced myself on.  
  
I heard the shouts of the boys behind me hot in pursuit and I ran harder. I felt the necklace heating more, almost burning me as I neared the Brooklyn Bridge. I grabbed it and whirled to face my pursuers praying that the necklace would work. Praying that I would go back and not be forced to stay here to be killed slowly in an insane asylum. Thunder grumbled overhead and I looked to the sky for a moment before a flash of white caught my eye. It was Spot, his white shirt soaked to his skin, his hair plastered to his scalp. Despite the darkness I could not help but see those blue eyes burning me with his gaze. They widened as they saw me inching toward the bridge. Spot stopped seeing me backing toward the railing and reached his hand out.  
  
"Briar don't." He cried the anguish in his voice apparent enough to make me stop. "Don't jump."  
  
I realized then he thought I meant to end my life by jumping from the Brooklyn Bridge. I laughed then allowing him to move cautiously closer. I hadn't even thought if it, but it gave me an out if the necklace did not work. I would rather jump from that bridge than go where they planned.  
  
"What would it matter Michael?" I cried " I'll die if you send me to the insane asylum, they will kill me slower than I would if I jumped now."  
  
"I'm not going to let them take you." He told me now close enough to touch me, his hand gripped my arm and I looked into his eyes tears shining in my own. The necklace started to burn hot, I felt the rain touch my skin soft as sand. It was starting, I could stop it, I had before that night on my way to the party at the Brooklyn Lodging House, but I wasn't sure I wanted to. It had been that night that had set into motion all that had brought me to this moment. The night I had made a bad choice that had brought me love and heartache. The choice I almost wished I had never made. For to love and to have lost is, no matter how the saying goes, infinitely more painful than to have never loved at all.  
  
"You're freezing, you'll catch ya death." He whispered running his hands up and down my arms.  
  
"Do you love me Spot?" I asked as I saw light like the suns rays start to fall on me, my hand in mid air ready to grab the necklace as I had that night and stop it all. At that moment I would have thrown the necklace from the bridge and stayed for the rest of my life had he told me he did.  
  
" I don't know Briar, all I know is I can't let ya go." He replied, my hand dropped, it was not enough.  
  
" You have to, you have no choice, I can't stay here Spot." I whispered knowing the necklace was taking me that I was going home. "It was wrong of me to come here, I don't know why they sent me. I thought it was for you, but I was wrong."  
  
Mush, Blink and Mimic ran into view I watched them stop dead as the light started shining brighter, the humming starting to fill my ears.  
  
"You don't believe in me Spot, you can never love me." I said on a broken sob " I'm not sure you know how to love beyond Glimmer and if you did, I'm crazy remember. You could never have crazy children."  
  
He closed his eyes and stepped back the pain naked on his face as he did.  
  
"Go then, jump, I can't stop ya." Spot whispered. "I want to, I want ya here, but I know ya ain't never gonna believe me. I've brokin ya trust too many times."  
  
I didn't register his words had I, I might have stopped the necklace before it was too late. I stepped close to him, allowed his arms to wrap around me, I pulled his chin down and kissed him with all the love I had. I pulled away for a moment determined to leave him with some words that would one day tell him I had not been crazy, that I had been telling him the truth.  
  
"Spot, listen to me." I said urgently " You don't believe me now that I'm from the future and I can't prove it to you. Listen and time will prove it to you. In April of 1912 only a few years from now they will sail a new ship called Titanic, it will hit an iceberg on it's maiden voyage and sink killing over a thousand people. In 1914 the Archeduke of Austria will be assassinated spurring a World War, the First World War. In 1920 they will pass prohibition of alcohol and it will be illegal to buy, sell, or consume alcohol. The mafia will rise up use this to make money, lots of money. Lawyers, congressmen, judges and policemen will make money on bribes to look the other way. In 1930 the stock market will crash and America will go into a depression only to be brought out again by World War II. Every time you read the news and one of these is in the headlines you will know I was right, I was not crazy. You will then realize that you let me go because you could not believe your heart."  
  
He grabbed my arms and dragged me back to him his lips almost frantic as if in kissing me he could keep me there. I was still kissing him as the light shone blindingly behind my closed lids and the ripping pain made it's way through my body, burning me. I heard my cry of pain and then it was a noiseless scream, tears streamed from my eyes.  
  
The light was gone it was cold and no arms were there to hold me.  
  
"What's she doin out here? Faire's been closed for nearly four months now." I heard a voice say.  
  
"Don't know maybe someone dumped her here to die."  
  
There was something cold and powdery on the ground, something that made me shiver as I tried to sit up. I found I couldn't, I was too exhausted and I let myself fall back into the darkness once more.  
  
  
  
No it's not over, not yet. I've been threatened to give a happy ending and the muses have conferred and agreed that poor Cameo deserves it. So onward we will write.  
  
  
  
Rhap: Yup Assholes the whole lot of them! That's okay the storm is breaking and the sun will come out again, though unfortunately that means the end is in sight. AHHHHHHH no! I loved writing this I don't want it to end! Well I guess I can't keep poor Cam going through hell, it has to end some time.  
  
Falco: You can't kill him, he's going to be very repentant I promise! Hey where are I my waffles?  
  
Hotshot: Bad, bad Rover! Spot says he's sorry, he hates having to live with out Cam isn't that enough? She's not done yet, though I promise it wont be hell again, just five years of trying to forget.....oops don't let the muses see that or they may end it here! Peeks around I don't think they're looking good! Whew. Okay I didn't really hate Sarah, I just don't like her. She's so stupid and Maid Marian like AHHHH it kills me she's in an alleyway filled with broken crates and even a broken chair. What does she do? She screams and does nothing to help not to mention calls her little brother into the thick of it and doesn't even push him behind her. AHHHH okay rant button is off. Hope you liked it. More to follow.  
  
Chelci: Honey it's okay, I promise things will get better! No kicking spot's butt he's in the corner doing it himself. See while our lovely Briar is at home, he's lived his life and he had to do it without her. He's not to happy with me right now, the only thing keeping him from kicking my butt is everyone is asking for a happy ending.  
  
Skittles: Dahling sorry she went back, she left Spot! Hope to talk to you soon!  
  
Shortie : Woah, calm down honey, I'm not taking offense, just taking notes. It's okay, I'd rather you give me your honest opinion. Thank you for your compliment! Here ya go! Hope you enjoy!  
  
Dreamer: Cruel and necessary. I promise things will get better! I really want more on your story! E-mail me soon! I'll think about the cracker thing, where can I fit that in? hmmmmmm (snaps fingers) muses front and center, you got the idea okay off with you! I don't know. I wanted to fit in a Jack and Jill thing with the Gillian story, I totally didn't realize it until a friend pointed it out he he he. I didn't get the opening so we'll see.  
  
Angel: AHHHHH I may have to stop writing if you guys keep missing things in class and saying odd things in class. Seems to be a common affliction my story has been having. I wouldn't want the world as we know it to come crashing down because the youth of today didn't catch something or were locked up for crazies because of my story. Okay sorry odd mood, it catches me unawares sometimes. No more twists (looks and muses and pouts) well maybe one more that's all they'll give me. Okay so I'm glad you like it!  
  
(Looks around) Did I miss anyone? I hope not if I did I'm sorry I love you, but damn it you're lucky I got this up at all. After two martini's and not finding my bed until nearly 2 and that damn idiot that wouldn't keep his hand off my leg...Ah late night lots of fun screwing with drunk people at the bar. HA HA HA! Okay off I go to try to ramble out a new chapter for the other story! 


	29. The future to the past

Five years later  
  
  
  
I found my self-sitting at the polished wood of the table signing documents for an inheritance I did not expect wondering if I should ever have returned to New York. The city was so different from the last time I saw it, yet the same. Still bustling with life everything and every one still in a hurry.  
  
"Why the hell did I do this again?" I asked Morai as she gave me a comforting smile.  
  
"Because you had to." She whispers and I returned to my signing thinking about the events that have lead me here. Lead me back to where I started and to all I tried to forget.  
  
  
  
The moonlight filled the little room, the musty smell of an old building permeated the air, a smell I had mercifully almost forgotten. Lips brushed mine, traveling to my neck in a way that was both uncontrolled and well practiced. A warm body lay next to me on the lumpy hard mattress, the sounds of snores came from beyond the closed door. Blue eyes burned in the soft light as his arms pulled me tightly possessively to him. I fit as I was made to be there warm curves to hard muscle. Lips found mine drowning me in it's power and I felt the tears that flowed down my cheeks. Tears for the emotions I had forgotten, tears for the man I had left, tears because he was mine once again.  
  
I woke gasping for air the dream still around me as I reached for the man who was not there. I curled in my bed glancing around at the modern style the interior decorator had decorated my apartment in. Gone were the soft warm woods that glowed, gone were the draped fabrics. When I had moved from my old apartment as soon as I could afford it I had sold all my furniture. I gave explicit instructions for the decoration of this apartment to be modern; I wanted nothing that even remotely spoke of the past. The decorator had smiled, though her eyes told me she thought it was an odd request. Grabbing my robe I wrapped it around me and stood going into the living room nearly tripping over the box that still sat unopened.  
  
Morai had sent it to me, I was sure of what was inside, she had kept me from burning all of my old costumes by shear force of will. I had given up my obsession with the past focusing all my thoughts purely on the now and the future. I had put off opening the box as I did not want to drag up old memories, but since they had come up anyway I supposed there was no harm in opening it. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and sat cross-legged on the carpet in front of it.  
  
I set aside the envelope containing a letter and looked to the mound of fabric that was indeed my old costumes. Reds, golds, greens, purples, and creams, I touched the skirt of me court dress reverently as the brilliant green-blue damask lay still beautiful. Sighing I turned from the old memories to the letter, opening it I found a letter and a plane ticket.  
  
"Dear Briar,  
  
It's been years since you've written and I've written you. I found these things in my house the other day surprisingly enough on the same day I received the invitation to your wedding. Congrat's doll, I don't know what else to say. Having met the man I know he is not the man for you. There is no passion, no fire, then again it seems to have left you these days. Congrats as well on your promotion at the firm. Top stockbroker again were you? Who would have thought? Briar, ever creative sometimes crazy Briar would be have a degree in business and finance.  
  
Things changed so much during your disappearance and I never truly had the courage to ask you about all of it. I know you did not wish to really talk of it. However I guess I should get to the point of this, I found him Briar. I did not entirely believe your story and for years I've been checking it out. I found one Michael Ryan Conlon born on December 24, 1885 - died July 25, 1921. I want you to fly to New York with me. If for some reason you feel you must marry that man give me one week of fun with you please. Call me when you've decided.  
  
All my love,  
  
Morai."  
  
  
  
I shook my head, there was no way I was going to New York, absolutely no way. Laying on the table next to me was another small box addressed from a lawyer's office in New York. The hair on the back of my neck began to rise as I opened it. Inside was a book, a small box and a letter. I opened the letter never looking at the book.  
  
"Dear Ms. Fitzgerald,  
  
We send you this as it has come to our attention that you are the sole beneficiary to one Michael Ryan Conlon."  
  
"Holy shit." I cried, this was too much of a coincidence; a shiver of fear ran through me as I forced myself to read on.  
  
"enclosed is a copy of his will, it has been held in trust for you by members of the family, the last of whom died only days ago. Please come to our New York office to sign documents that must be signed in order to release the rest of the will. Enclose as per the will is a locked jewelry box and a book. I look forward to speaking with you.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
  
  
Mr. Peter M. Alexander."  
  
My hands shook as I took the slender box and looked at it, it was a music box, the key tied to the lock on it tied to the music key. I untied it looking at the cover, admiring the beautiful roses that had been carved into the gleaming mahogany wood. I took a deep breath as I unlocked the box, opening the lid causing strains of the Blue Danube waltz filled the air. A gold bracelet winked at me from against the velvet lining of the box.  
  
Briar Rose Fitzgerald born, April 25, 1983 it read, tears filled my eyes. If I had wanted a sign as to whether or not to go to New York, I would have just gotten one. Slowly I took the cloth-covered notebook, the notebook that had brought my entire world crashing down to bed and lay down. I let the music box play until it had stopped from where it had been wound the silence more deafening for it's end. I clutched the book to me as tears streamed down my face and I sobbed myself to sleep.  
  
That was how I found myself in New York City listening to a lawyer drone on about the inheritance I had received. One building and a quarter of his fortune had been left to me along with my bracelet and my book. The building was well kept I realized as the cab pulls along side the street in front of it.  
  
Newsboy Lodging House was freshly painted in yellow on the green sign, it looks better than it ever did in the days I had stayed there. Morai follows me her eyes wide as we stepped from the cab. Luckily she paid the cabby for I was drawn to the front door, the sounds of boys laughter fill the air as I open the door.  
  
"Mimic, ya get up here this instant and give me my hat." I heard Racetrack's voice float down the stairs with memories of the past still vivid in my mind.  
  
"Welcome the the Newsy museum." I heard a voice say, turning I look to find a young woman looking back at me.  
  
"Hello." I said absently my mind turning back to the rooms in front of me that looked nicer than I remember them.  
  
"You are the new owner right?" she asked I looked at her blankly " The lawyers said you would be coming."  
  
"Oh yes," I reply.  
  
"Feel free to look around." She said then, " Call me if you would like to know anything."  
  
I smiled grateful she had taken the hint that I did not want a guided tour. Morai followed me up the stairs to and into the bunkroom, I stopped at the closed door almost expecting to open it and find boys sprawled about it. Taking a fortifying breath I opened it to find bunks neatly in a row, beds neatly made, as they never had been, even clothes neatly hang neatly or folded on the beds. I smiled they would have torn apart this neat haven in minutes. Slowly I made my way to the small room that had been mine opening the door I found it had indeed been kept as a room. Some of my clothes sat on the shelves, my rose colored skirt now faded with age, my cream blouse almost yellow, my boots sitting as next to the bed scuffed and aged, even my corset sat upon the top shelf a spare camisole and pantaloons under it.  
  
I took the faded leather book from my bag; inside lay letters I had not read yet, letters I had only just received from the lawyers. Morai sat next to me on the bed, my bed, as I cleared my throat and began reading.  
  
"My Dearest Cameo,  
  
It has been years since you left, that night that you glowed like the sun and disappeared from the Brooklyn Bridge. The night you left my brother. He offered to include a letter from all of us and I was the first to write mine. He has this crazy idea that you will receive this and even if you don't I suppose it will be good to write. I want you to know that we all loved you. Those that you allowed close, but none so much as my brother, I watched your romance, I watched as it came together, fell apart and came together again. As you read this you may feel anger toward the man that you loved so deeply and I do not blame you for it. Neither does he, he blames himself that things happened the way they did and because of that has devoted his life to being something, someone. A person to be remembered that he might reach across time and tell you what he could not in life. I do not know how you got here or even if his stories are true, but if it is please, please come back to him. I wish you the best what ever you choose, but know that we love you and we miss you.  
  
Warmest Regards,  
  
Gabriel Anne O' Leary"  
  
"She married him." I whispered. " Glimmer married Skittery."  
  
"Good for her I think." Morai whispered back. Slowly I went through each of them, Mush, Blink, Mimic, Race, even one from Jack. Finally I reached the last one, the letter I had saved until the end. The bold writing seemed to leap off the page at me and with a shaking voice I read it.  
  
" Briar,  
  
That is what I called you, so often instead of Cameo as everyone else did. It was as if I called you that I could make you mine. You were so full of spirit, so wild, so different, I suppose that is what made me fall in love with you. Odd if I had uttered those words when you asked I have a feeling I would not to be writing this letter today. You asked if I loved you and I did, though I find it hard to write even in a letter. I could not say it then, I could not let you know what I felt, I was too afraid you would leave. Instead I did not and you did leave. I do not know how to let you know, I do not know what I can do so I have done all I can think of to reach across time and tell you what I could not while you were at my side.  
  
I went to see the Lodging House today. Reporters were there when I got there, full of questions. They think I'm an eccentric man, too sentimental as I have saved it and restored it before they could tear it down. A historical landmark I told them when I put the money up to pay for it. They didn't challenge me, not me the most powerful lawyer in New York. They wouldn't dare after I threatened to take it to court. They wonder why I saved it; there are a few who know.  
  
I found myself with a dilapidated old building; I did not want to restore it by myself if I could help it. So I turned to those that could help, that had memories in this old building as well. Jack Sullivan soon to be mayor bestowed money upon my little project. David now manager of his campaign had urged him to it; it would look good to the public. My sister stepped from beyond her silver screen and offered money I took. Mush and Blink better known now as Alex and Jonathan brought a check all the way to New York from their director's chairs in California.  
  
Finally when I had enough I watched the worker's telling them what should go where and how things had been. There was one room they were not allowed to touch, one room I restored myself, one room that was why this whole project had come about. It had been your room, but you were no longer here, I couldn't smell your scent in the dusty sheets as I could all those years ago. That sweet smell of roses and you, it haunts me from time to time. Everything was as I remembered it though your one skirt and shirt were moth eaten and your corset starting to fall apart. A faded hat halfway poked from under a water-ruined pillow. A hat that had been your protection while selling on the streets, not that you needed that protection you had me or one of the other men previously mentioned. I had everything remade just as it had been in the colors it had been in. To be replaced if they were ever damaged.  
  
I wanted you to come here if you did and remember life as it had been, hopefully remembering all the good times instead of the bad.  
  
That was the true reason behind the restoration. It was a way to remember my past, a way to remember you, a way to reach across time and tell you what I never could as the fearless leader of the Brooklyn Newsies. That I loved you, I loved you with a passion that has never dimmed. A passion that has forced me to become more than what I was in the hopes that I would be remembered in history, that you would know me in your time.  
  
There are those who think I'm crazy with my support of the research behind time travel. Those that shake their heads as I stop to talk to the gypsies in the park asking questions that make them flick the sign against the evil eye. They have all been dead ends. My only recourse now is in the building I have created a museum of. I pray that it will survive the years. I have money hidden away, money that will serve me well should some of the events you foretold come to pass, you have yet to be wrong.  
  
I remember the night she left, the night it was pouring rain, the night we thought she was crazy. I know it was Sarah, I want you to know it. She was jealous of your strength and ability to make an entire room look to you just by entering it. You was humble yet cocky, you was sweet yet you could leave a bitter taste in my mouth when you stood up to me. You were fiery, never could you be called meek, you was strong and brave, you were a pain in my ass half of the time.  
  
You came to us nearly eighteen years ago, still a child, yet so much a woman. So different than all the other women, maybe that is what originally attracted me to you. You were different, in your thoughts, your actions, in some ways you acted like a man, yet I have never seen anyone more feminine. Nor have I ever seen anyone more in need of us.  
  
Your name was Briar Rose, you had been named for Sleeping Beauty and that was ironic. When you came to us she was sleeping, all of your emotions and reactions in hibernation still reeling from your mother's death, still in pain from your father's defection. Slowly I watched you waken, your emotions come to the surface, a passion within you that could rival Jack's when she wanted.  
  
I betrayed you, I did not believe in you. I thought you were crazy; I wanted to push you away because you were getting under my skin as no woman ever did and ever will.  
  
I find I am babbling as I write this, babbling, as I never have. Wouldn't they love to hear how the most successful lawyer in New York, who is so praised for his eloquence, is stumbling on these words? I suppose this is my last effort to reach you, to tell you what I never did.  
  
Briar, if you find this I loved you with all my heart. I did not know how much until you left. I need you; I would give everything for one moment again with you. I love you Briar.  
  
Ever Yours,  
  
Michael  
  
Tears streamed down my face as Morai finished it for I could not. The sunlight filtered in from the bunkroom in the fading light I let Morai hold me.  
  
"You came." The voice startled Morai and I both of us jumping in the air like a startled cats. I whirled to see a woman I had not seen in five years since I had hurled the amulet and curses at her head. "I warned you that you would wish to see me again."  
  
"Do you always have to frighten me?" I snapped standing and facing her.  
  
"It is your choice child, it has always been your choice." She responded evasively. I rolled my eyes ever the one for riddles I thought.  
  
"Will he be there?" I asked knowing I would not want the answer.  
  
"You are mistaken child if you think you were sent back to find your true love." She told me. " You were sent back because despite your difficulty in adjusting you were meant to be there. It is your place and your time, we cannot force the choice upon you, you must make it. If he is there he is, if he is not he is not. I must warn you though it will be your last time traveling. I can not allow you to come back."  
  
In her hands I saw the amulet, the jewel in its pendant glowing from within beckoning me. Quietly I held me hands out accepting what she wanted to give. I had not returned home, I had returned to exile, I would now be going home.  
  
  
  
Sorry guys I don't have time for separate SO's today, I'll try to get them in later! I love you all thank you so much for taking the time to review! 


	30. Home

I stood in the washroom, the cracked mirror hanging on the back of the main door showing a distorted reflection of me. I looked into the mirror, the replicas of my old clothing fitting me as they had the first time I wore them. I had allowed Morai to pull my hair upon my head in a bun that was fashionable for the time. I looked like me, and yet I didn't. My heart beat frantically as I looked at myself, realizing that despite the corset that was forcing me to breath out my diaphragm I was more comfortable than I had been in the khaki pants and button down shirt I had worn into the Lodging House.  
  
"No matter the choice you make, the necklace will know it will be your last choice." The gypsy had told me, for once making things clear. "If you leave, you will not come back to this time. If you stay, you will have no chance at going to the past again. We cannot have you wrecking havoc with time. There is only so far we can press these things. "  
  
After the gypsy left, we sent the young girl who was working the museum home. Amanda was her name. She had smiled excitedly and nodded, telling us she had a double date with her cousin Chelci later that night that she now had extra time for which to get ready. I had smiled absently at her, my attention on the necklace in my hand before handing it to Morai and heading upstairs to get my clothes.  
  
"Are you ready?" Morai asked, holding the amulet. I looked at it.  
  
"What if I am making the wrong choice, Morai?" I whispered, fear on my face. I had lived through hell; would I be returning to it, or would life finally go my way?  
  
"You're not making the wrong choice." Morai told me. "I guess the real question is are you willing to spend the rest of your life haunted in your dreams by a man who is dead?"  
  
"I could learn to live with it." I said quietly, the fear plain in my voice now.  
  
"Who are you and where is my friend?" Morai's voice held irritation such as I had rarely heard coming out of her mouth. "This is not the Briar I know and love; you're acting like a frightened ninny."  
  
"This coming from the girl that didn't actually believe what I had told her until you found proof for yourself that the man I had talked about even existed." I said wryly looking back in the mirror and taking a deep breath. I knew deep inside me that the gypsy had been right; no matter the outcome, I would be going where I belonged. I would be going home. Silently, I held out my hands and for the second time that night took the amulet into them. It warmed hotly to my skin. I saw the jewel glowing and slowly undid the clasp, clasping it about my neck.  
  
"Goodbye Morai." I called, though I knew it came out as a whisper. She gave me a quick hug before stepping back and watching. The last thing I saw was her face, eyes wide with shock as she watched me disappear.  
  
For the first time I was entirely conscious of what was happening to me, my mind was neither filled with sadness, nor taken unaware. The light that shone upon me from an unknown source eventually forced me to close my eyes at its brilliance. I felt tickling upon my skin, as the world seemed to spin. Sand seemed to brush my face, my body felt warm, and then slowly it began to burn. I tried to scream, tried to move, tried to do anything to make it stop, but I couldn't. It seemed as if it would go on forever, but instead if faded. Slowly, I opened my eyes. I found myself crouched upon a badly scuffed and worn hard wood floor. My body would not function as I wished it too; instead it collapsed and I lay there gasping, not entirely sure of where the necklace had dumped me this time. I could only hope I was somewhere close to where I wanted to be before the exhaustion of time travel over whelmed me.  
  
I felt small fingers poking at me and tried to brush at them, but I was too uncoordinated, my arms too heavy and unwilling to work.  
  
"Who's the dame?" I heard a voice ask.  
  
"Don't know." A small childlike voice answered. "We found her in the alley and brought her in."  
  
"What's goin' on?" a new voice asked, one that held authority. "Medda's wonderin' what's with all the racket back here, she's got a show startin' in a few minutes and ya gotta keep it down."  
  
"Whatta we gonna do with her?" Another voice joined the first two as I struggled to open my eyes.  
  
"She looks kinda familiar." The second voice said thoughtfully. "Look she's comin' around."  
  
Slowly my eyes flicked opened and I had to blink a few times to keep them from immediately closing. There were a circle of faces about me and I tried to focus on one, but couldn't. My hand went immediately to the pendant that hung coolly next to my face.  
  
"Alright, I don't know what ya dragged in, but out all of ya. Either pay the man, find ya seats or leave. It ain't that difficult." This new voice held quite a bit of authority. Trying to focus on the boy that stood directly in front of me, my mind fumbled to place that voice.  
  
"Cameo?" The boy whispered softly. Gently he knelt and took the pendant from where my hand clutched it. He turned it over in his hands before looking into my face. "Cam?"  
  
I looked into a pair of familiar green eyes, hope shimmering in them from beyond a fringe of strawberry-blonde curls. His eyes misted over and I realized who was kneeling next to me.  
  
"You need a hair cut kid." I replied, before my face turned green and I had force my concentration on not allowing the contents of my stomach to heave all over the floor. My head began to ache abominably; unsteadily I tried to stand and smiled thankfully at the young man who helped me up. Mimic smiled at me, his cheeks no longer as chubby, his freckles darker, and his hair a richer color, almost copper toned. He was no longer the small boy that had curled up to me to go to sleep, though I could see traces of the boy that had expected me to chase away the nightmares and sing him to sleep. About him was the cool collected air that both Jack and Spot had held. I knew that when the time came he would be the next leader of the newsies. I'd give him a maximum of three years time. Spot had taken over Brooklyn at the age of twelve and Mimic couldn't be more than ten. I was sure he was tough enough, but you had to have a certain amount of seniority before the older boys would take you seriously.  
  
With Mimic's help, I made my way to the washroom. I barely made it to the toilet, though I was thankful it was not in the same condition as the first toilet I had been forced to use. Again, I was violently ill; the vomiting seemed to get more violent the more I had traveled. Finally, as the contents of my stomach were entirely gone and the muscles of my stomach had contracted enough times to be sure of that, I sat back weakly against the wall. Mimic handed me a glass of water that I quickly rinsed my mouth out with and then took a long drink.  
  
"Ya back." Mimic whispered, as if he were afraid it might not be true, that if he spoke the words I would disappear.  
  
"I'm back." I agreed." For good, no matter what happens. I can't go back to where I'm from."  
  
Mimic nodded understanding as the boys that were nearby curiously crowded around. Slowly, I stood. I had more important things to do than worry about the headache that felt like someone was trying to crack open my brain with a chisel and hammer.  
  
"Where are Jack and the other boys?" I asked. "How long have I been gone?"  
  
"Five and a half years." Mimic answered. "I'll take you to him."  
  
From the look in his eyes, he knew exactly whom I was desperate to see.  
  
"Alright boys, you've seen enough." He called out. To my surprise they immediately started to disperse.  
  
"You can't possibly be leader yet." I muttered.  
  
"Nah, but these boys, they listen to me better than the current leader." He replied as he took my arm and helped me into the bunkroom. "Are ya sure ya can make it? Maybe ya should lie down and we'll go in the morning."  
  
"No, Mimic. For five and a half years, I have lived without him. I have to see him." I said firmly, taking my hand from where it was massaging my temple and starting for the door.  
  
"Ya still too stubborn." He said shaking his head and following. "I'm goin' to Brooklyn, I'll be back tomorrow. Yellow Jacket, ya keep an eye on things and keep the boys in line."  
  
A boy who was the last to head in the direction of the stage nodded before Mimic was out the door following me. It didn't take long before he was the one leading the way and I was lagging behind. While his sturdy legs had still been walking all over the city for the past five years, mine had been sitting behind a desk, and no amount of treadmill running could prepare me for the walk. My feet were blistering in the shoes I hadn't worn in years, and my legs burned from trying to keep up with Mimic's walk. Finally, we reached our destination and I paused to catch my breath and run a hand over my hair.  
  
Before me stood a gated brownstone house that was, in all actuality, less like a house and more like a mansion. I was pleased that Spot had done so well for himself. Swiftly and expertly, Mimic swung the gate open and we made our way up the circular drive to Spot's home. A smart Model T was parked in front of his house and I wondered if it was his. Its dove gray and black exterior gleamed from polishing. I watched from the bottom of the stairs as Mimic made his way up confidently.  
  
"Ya comin'?" He asked from the top when he realized I had not followed him. I gripped the necklace, which was now useless, as I made my way up the stairs, drawing comfort from it as I had so many times before.  
  
"You are mistaken child, if you think you were sent back to find your true love." I heard the gypsy's voice whisper in my ear, and I felt the fear that filled my heart.  
  
"Master Christopher." I looked up swiftly at the man who stood in the doorway. He stood stiffly and I realized that he must be the butler. "I assume you are here to see Mr. Michael again."  
  
"Yeah, I brought him a little present." Mimic replied, and I realized for the first time I had never known Mimic's real name.  
  
"Very thoughtful of you, but Miss Sarah has just left to begin fittings for her new trousseau."  
  
Mimic's face darkened as the butler said those words; I wondered who Miss Sarah was.  
  
"He ain't got no right seein' that woman, let alone engaging himself to her." Mimic growled as he grabbed my arm and pulled me inside before the words could register in my mind. The butler had said trousseau, a woman's wardrobe she had created before she married. Engaged? Spot was engaged? I fought tears and Mimic's hand.  
  
"I can't do this Mimic," I said as I struggled against the surprisingly strong grip of my former charge. "I can't, if he's getting married then I wish him all the happiness in the world."  
  
"You can't marry her Michael, don't you understand?" I heard another familiar voice cry from behind the partially closed door of the study.  
  
"Understand what, Alex?" I heard his voice ask. "You and Christopher keep dancing circles around what the hell it was that Sarah did to make her unworthy of marriage."  
  
"She betrayed Briar, Michael." Alex hissed. "Have you not been listening to us? She set Briar up. She arranged for Mimic to be taken, she arranged for Briar to be framed for stealing. She talked nonsense about Briar's supposed craziness. Hell, she almost killed Briar with the whole Ox fiasco. She betrayed the woman you swore you loved."  
  
"I know." Michael replied softly. "I know. All in good time Alex. Just trust me."  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"Look, for now all you need to know is Briar's gone Alex, she's never coming back. " Michael replied steadily. "And for that, Sarah will pay."  
  
"Isn't she?" Mimic asked, throwing open the doors. "Funny, cause me boys found this outside Medda's today."  
  
Two men looked at us, both searching beyond Mimic to me, both stopping in shock. Two pairs of eyes widened in disbelief as they both stood. I realized looking into the face of Alex that it was Mush, his soft eyes still the same warm brown, still looking from beyond his face in a sweet naivety that we all knew he didn't possess. I did not look at Spot. I could not. Instead I focused on Mush who was took a hesitant step toward me.  
  
"Mush." I said softly, as he made his way closer. He looked at me for a moment then pulled me into his arms, and I felt the joyous tears I had not known were in my eyes trickle into his jacket.  
  
"Briar." He replied, "You're back. I knew you had to come back."  
  
"I'm here, alive and well, except for this headache that is making me feel like I have the worst hangover you can imagine." I babbled, unsure of what to say, not wanting to turn my attention just yet to the man I had come to see. Finally, he stepped back and looked to Spot, who was watching with an expressionless look, his icy gaze making me want to flinch.  
  
We stood like that for a moment, coolly regarding each other until finally he stepped from behind his desk and moved to stand directly in front of me.  
  
"Michael." Was all I said, as neither of us moved. Slowly, he moved again until we were only inches apart.  
  
"Briar?" his voice was uncertain as he touched my arm. The faded, aged fabric seemed to draw all of his attention.  
  
"I'm home, Michael." I whispered as he turned his face and our eyes met. I do not know who made the first move, all I know is his arms were around me and he kissed me with a burning passion that I had not been kissed with since I had left him. There was an urgency and fear that tinged this kiss, and I wrapped my arms around him afraid to let go. Afraid that this was yet another dream into which I had fallen.  
  
"Don't you ever leave me again. If you do, I swear I'll make Ox's torture seem like paradise." He hissed savagely as his arms tightened. "You're mine, now and always, you got that?"  
  
I nodded tears falling down my face now, streaming in rivers that I had not shed in the years I had been gone, but needed to.  
  
"I love you, Michael." I replied, "I will always love you and only you."  
  
His arms swept under my legs and swiftly he carried me from the room. I did not have the time to protest or even call goodbye as he carried me up the steps and down the hall to a room. I knew the minute we entered, it was his bedroom.  
  
His lips came down upon mine with the same power it had had years before. The power to make me forget all reason, to loose any ounce of common sense I had. I did not care that his fingers were fumbling at my shirt or that my skirt was falling to the floor. For once, neither of us was able to stop what happened. Neither of us wanted to.  
  
I had been right; he was very well practiced in the art of love. Yet this was not the robotic movement of a man who was trying to give his partner and himself a moment of pleasure. It was the uncontrolled passion of a man in love. Every touch was a brand upon my skin telling me I was his, that I would always be his. He possessed me and I him and that was how it would always be. Wolves mated for life, and I knew that that is what he was telling me as he touched me. That I was his for life, and vise versa.  
  
As dusk settled about the room, I felt his arm around me, his lips once again caressing the back of my neck. I lay contentedly, knowing that this was, indeed, where I wanted to be.  
  
"I love you, Briar." I heard him whisper and tears of joy filled my eyes. Rolling over I looked into those eyes that I had seen hold so many different emotions. I wondered as he said it if he had told Sarah those same words.  
  
"I know." I replied as he gently brushed the hair from my face and caressed my cheek. "But what about Sarah?"  
  
"I never planned on actually marrying her." He told me "The only person I would ever plan on marrying is you."  
  
"Then why are you engaged to her?" I asked, sitting up and clutching the sheet to my bare skin. He sat with me, his hand running patterns along my back.  
  
"I'm not. She thinks she has me on the brink of it; she's already planning a wedding I've never asked her for." He chuckled. "With you here I can think of grander ways of getting the revenge I had been planning on."  
  
"Don't think of her, Michael." I whispered running my hand along his cheek and bringing his face down for kiss. As we lost each other in the kiss again, I knew at that moment he was mine forever. This time he was sweet and gentle, telling me with every touch that he loved me. I slept for a while and woke to the moonlight in my face. Michael was awake and I could feel him gently caressing my hair, for he was Michael now. No longer Spot, though I could see traces of the boy I had left in the man he had become. Michael had always been mine, Spot had belonged to Brooklyn, and I was glad he had shed that aspect of his life. We had both grown and were ready for the emotions neither of us had been sure enough of before.  
  
"She will never hurt you again, Briar." I heard him promise. "I will never let anyone hurt you again."  
  
"How incredibly cliché." I said sleepily. He chuckled and curled up around me.  
  
"Yes, but incredibly true."  
  
"Promise me something." He nodded as he heard the urgency in my voice. "Forget Sarah. No more revenge, no more anger, just let it all go. It will be hard enough to loose you to me. Please forget it."  
  
"I don't know if I can." He said looking away.  
  
"Please, Michael, please, I want to forget it all and move on with our lives." I begged shamelessly. "If you truly love me you will do this one thing for me."  
  
Slowly he nodded, before looking at me with a soft expression that I had never seen on his face.  
  
"I protect what's mine." He said fiercely.  
  
"I know." I responded laying my head on his shoulder. "I don't doubt it."  
  
As his arms wrapped around me, I lay back, content and sleepy. I knew that I would never doubt him; he would love and protect me as fiercely as he had led the Brooklyn newsies. But for my sake, he would try. We had fought a long battle. There had been many casualties, and many wounds, but in the end, we had managed to find our way back. Through time and space, we had struggled; struggled for that which is worth every sacrifice: Love.  
  
  
  
Okay guys, almost over! I think the muses are planning an epilogue and I'm done with it. Yes, Chelci, that means I will start on the Glimmer fic.  
  
P.S. If I missed a SO. Sorry, thank you, I love you okay read on to find yours.  
  
  
  
Rhap: Okay I updated.. Sorry not incredibly soon, but I think the last chapter will come soon enough  
  
Chelci: Now it is pretty well the end. Ahh, tears are in my eyes because I don't want it to be over, my baby can't be all grown up! Well there it is in all its glory.  
  
Raider: You asked for it, you got it.  
  
Kathryn Mason-Sykes: Thank you. Wow, what a compliment. I hope you like this chapter. Final one to follow soon.  
  
Shortie: She reconnected in many ways dear, happy? Thank you for the compliment. I try to make it enjoyable for all.  
  
Erinkathleen: Happy enough for you?  
  
Rumor: Well everyone voted and it seems everyone would have lynched me had I not given poor Cam a happy ending. So here it is in all its sappy glory.  
  
Dreamer: Well good for you graduating early. I wish I had done that. I can't wait for your next update! Here you go!  
  
Indy: Already got a future story posted. Check it out let me know what you think! Thank you! Hope you enjoy.  
  
Angel: Thank you hon, here's more!  
  
Ali: Ah, dahling was that romantic enough for you? After all, you are the queen of romance. Here you go, enjoy!  
  
Galaxy: Glad you liked it, more for you!  
  
Falco: Not over yet. Though it seems that it I could, I think I need to finish it up. Wrap up all loose ends and make everything better!  
  
J.P: Yay, you reviewed again. Oops, did I make you behind again? I hope you like it! More cookies please!  
  
Arlene: Thank you, thank you, thank you!  
  
GG: Yup, continuing for a little while. I think one more chapter is all Cam can take. She's tired. Thank you for the compliment!  
  
Fearless: No need to beg here you go!  
  
Skittles: Here you go honey, enjoy!  
  
Fyre Eye: No soaking or worse here you go! (hands chapter like you'd hand a hungry tiger a hunk of meat. Namely throwing it and running for cover). Yes, Morai knows! Hope you enjoyed it! 


	31. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
  
  
Morai Fraser looked down at the journal in her hands, smiling softly and gently brushing the cover as if she could touch the person who had written it. It was definitely something Briar would have picked; soft deer skin leather with a rose embossed upon it. It seemed like only days ago she had watched in shock as one of her closest friends disappeared before her eyes. Now, a year to the day of Briar's disappearance, she sat in the Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art with Briar's journal in her hands.  
  
Briar had taken a page from Michael's book and had included Morai in her will. Held in trust by one Gabriel Christopher Fitzgerald Conlon, Briar's great-great-grandson, the only sole living Conlon left. It had been so odd looking into the face of the man who only a year ago had not existed. In her will Briar had left her journal, rewritten in the beautiful book, her bracelet, enough money to pay for college, and her wedding dress. The dress, though used by many Conlon brides, had been lovingly taken care of and still was as beautiful as the day Briar had probably worn it. The fabric, once a soft cream, had aged to an ivory, the lace incredibly fragile. Gabriel had asked that if at some time he should marry that he be able to give his bride the option of wearing that gown. His smile had been incredibly charming and Morai had been unable to do more than stammer a quick yes. The only thing left in the will was the Lodging House Museum, which had been left in trust to them both.  
  
She had smiled at the thought of Gabriel. His flashing blue gray eyes had to be like those of his great-great-grandfather, his hair as black and softly wavy as Briars. She shivered, thinking of him and that lofty stare that had looked at her so coolly and calmly as she had signed the papers the lawyers had held in trust for more than a hundred years. She wondered if he knew why Briar had included her in her will. Not the reason she had given the lawyers, but the real reason. She shook her head. She was sure Gabriel was the heart breaker that Michael had been. She had sensed it in the raw masculinity of him.  
  
"Well, Briar, if nothing else you made very pretty babies." She chuckled to herself, earning some odd glances from others within the small wing of the new exhibition that had been put up only weeks ago. Slowly, she opened the book to the last entry and began to read.  
  
"I believe that the meat of my story ends there. Michael and I married only a few months later, in a beautiful church in a small town upstate. Michael spared no expense in the small, intimate ceremony. My wedding dress was created by Worth himself. We actually married in the rose garden outside the church on a warm day somewhere between summer and autumn. I can still smell the sweet roses that had surrounded us and picture his smiling face.  
  
It was not far from that church that we made our home. In the country, surrounded by land where our children could grow beyond the confines of the city. Our life was never entirely easy, but we lived it together and that was the greatest gift of all.  
  
For some of us, love comes swiftly and without warning. It can force us to change and grown in ways we are not ready for. If there is anything I have learned in my life, it is that love is the greatest gift. I lived through hell; I survived through what I should not have. I was not sent here for love, but in being where I was meant to be I found it, and I will never question it again. You must trust in the signs in front of you and follow your heart, for there and only then will you find true happiness. My story is over; my life in front of me. I thank God for all I have been given and pray that those I love might live a life half as full. My only advise to those that read this is, trust in your heart, believe in yourself, and do not be afraid of love."  
  
Morai smiled and shut the book, looking up into the soft green eyes of the woman in the painting hung on the wall in front of her. The woman sat on a simple wooden stool, her arms clasping a length of chiffon to her chest, letting the rest of it drape exquisitely about her covering most of her nude form. Her long black curls cascaded over her bare back, her head bent, her lips softly smiling at the artist. The love that was there was hard to mistake. Behind her was a large window that allowed the sunlight to stream in and around her.  
  
"My Hope" it was titled, and Morai felt the tears in her eyes as she glanced at the shiny brass name place below it.  
  
"Exquisite, isn't it?" she heard a voice say from behind her. Glancing around swiftly she saw Gabriel, his hands in his pockets, the tie around his neck loosened in a casual manner. "I must admit my great-great grandmother was an incredible beauty. I believe you knew her."  
  
"She would have never let you call her beautiful." Morai said simply as she looked back at the portrait of her friend. "She never believed she was."  
  
"Then she was mistaken." Gabriel replied, watching her move to the next painting. It did not dominate the room as the other had, but it, too, was of Briar, holding a baby in her arms, a soft smile on her face as she looked upon her child.  
  
"Who painted them?" Morai asked looking at the nameplate where it said Unknown Artist.  
  
"You know." Gabriel said, those eyes watching her like a hawk. Then she stopped at the final picture that was of Briar, though only Morai would have guessed it. It was of a woman whose long dark hair had been pulled upon her head, her face in profile, her back bare and crisscrossed with scars.  
  
"She was feisty." Morai told him. "I suppose she must have been to survive."  
  
"She was tougher than most women." He acknowledged. "She must have been quite the woman."  
  
"She definitely was that."  
  
"I was heading out to the old house this weekend, would you like to come?" Gabriel asked impulsively. He was not sure what drew him to the woman before him, but had a feeling he would regret it if he let her walk out of his life. If there was one thing his family had learned it was take life as it came, but hold on to what it offered.  
  
"I hardly know you." Morai began to protest, but looking into the eyes that had made her feel such turbulent emotions in such a short amount of time she relented.  
  
"Alright."  
  
The house was a large, old-fashioned farmhouse, set upon a plot of land that seemed miles from anywhere. The inside was filled with antiques that Morai knew had been in the family for years. Everything about the place screamed Briar, from the velvet curtains to the riding stables. The quiet of the place was most welcome after the long day in probably one of the busiest cities in the world. She thanked Gabriel as he took her coat. Softly the sounds of a music box filled the air. Morai gasped as she heard the lilting strains of the Blue Danube waltz.  
  
"What?" she asked as she glanced back at Gabriel, who uttered a brief gasp and paled.  
  
"According to family legend, Briar and Michael danced to the Blue Danube Waltz at their wedding. It was a favorite of Briar's."  
  
"I wonder why." Morai said wryly.  
  
"I take it you've heard the story of Central Park." Gabriel chuckled. "It is played at Conlon weddings for the first dance as a tradition. Grandmother told me when I was a young child that Michael told Briar upon his deathbed that he wished he had realized upon meeting her of the love they would share. Supposedly, the music box he had made for a wedding gift plays for a Conlon to tell them when they find the love Michael and Briar took so long to realize."  
  
"That's silly. Do you actually believe that nonsense?"  
  
"I don't know, it hasn't happened in ages. My grandmother was the last it played for. My parents have been divorced for years, each too bitter to have ever married again. Perhaps it is." Gabriel said steadily.  
  
Morai shrugged as she entered the parlor. On the mantle was a beautiful mahogany jewelry box with roses carved in it, along with a date. It was the kind that played when you opened it and stopped when you closed it.  
  
"September 30, 1909, what was that?"  
  
"The date of the wedding of Briar Fitzgerald and Michael Conlon." Gabriel said softly.  
  
"Not only is this silly, it's cliché and sappy." Morai growled as he stepped nearer. Morai jumped as the box, though the lid was shut, began suddenly to play.  
  
"Very." Gabriel responded, his eyes trained on Morai's. As he kissed her, the music box seemed to grow louder, and then it stopped all together. As it ended they stepped apart, both clearly shaken by the kiss.  
  
"Let me introduce myself again. My name is Gabriel Christopher Fitzgerald Conlon." Gabriel said quietly.  
  
"Morai Skylar Frazer." Morai replied, her tone as soft as his. They stared at each other, unable to do much more than that. She could swear she heard the sound of Briar's laughter as Gabriel moved closer to her once again.  
  
"You must trust in the signs in front of you and follow your heart, for there, and only then, will you find true happiness. My story is over, my life in front of me. I thank God for all I have been given and pray that those I love might live a life half as full. My only advise to those that read this is, trust in your heart, believe in yourself, and do not be afraid of love." The words she had read filled her mind in Briar's voice and she smiled softly. No, she would not be afraid; there was nothing to be afraid of. Love would happen whether they wanted it or not, whether they fought it or not, at it's own pace, and, from the signs, love had wanted them badly.  
  
  
  
I want to say thank you to all of you that took the time and patience to wade through this story. I hope it was enjoyable and satisfying, it was for me to write it! Thank you, I love you all!  
  
Rhap: More romance for you. Sappy and cliché as previously mentioned, but I think I like it!  
  
Kathryn Mason-Sykes: Boy do you have my number I love reviews. Hope you enjoyed the last of my story!  
  
Falco: I love you too honey (runs about trying to grab the nice warm waffles as the rain upon her.) Thanks!  
  
Fearless: Send me the info and we'll see where we can fit you in the Glimmer fic. Glad you liked it.  
  
Chelci: Yup a story all your own. More Glimmer and Spot time yay for you! Thinking of a good plot right now. Any suggestions?  
  
Angel: Send me your story I'll read it any time! Thank you for the sweet compliments.  
  
Galaxy: Don't start (sniffle) you'll make me start too! I don't wanna cry (wipes away the tear that is trickling down her cheek and looks away for a moment) Okay calm now. Tell me about it. I really loved writing this. Oh well on to the new story.  
  
Erinkathleen: Good, glad to hear it! I tried  
  
Rumor: Ha you can't crack the whip any more nah na nah na nah na. Wait I forgot, new story, oops! Okay thank you! I loved all of you reviews and look forward to more. As for the lynching, well you might not have, but I think Ali might have. Everyone was begging for a happy ending so I gave it. Glad you enjoyed it!  
  
Ali: Bite my ass Hollywood. (Waved crown around gleefully) I'm the queen of romance ha! You can take your Oscars and Emmy's and shove them up your...............(looks around and realizes she's not alone.) Oops hi (smiles and waves) Thank you honey I tried to make it happy for you! No need to hound read on with the new one. I'm trying really I am, I hope it will be as romantic! Thanks! 


	32. A belated thanks

Wow I managed to gross over 300 reviews for this story, and I feel so bad because I keep getting reviews and no longer have chapters posting to give S.O.'s for. So here's one for all previous reviewers that were not thanked and all reviewers to come ( if that happens). THANK YOU! It's the wonderful reviewers like you that boost my ego and keep me writing more. Thanks again  
  
Rhys (Raeghann) 


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